VANITY (A Closer Look)

        The effecting ill result of ignorance, which began in Hollywood with the arrest of Sean "Diddy" Combs, is loudest in the U.S. nowadays and its purported allegation of escalation with the reelection of Donald Trump is ever rising, marred heavily by his first-time leadership. It seems to me like many are already in fear, if not cowering from it this early, globally. 

        Unaffected (so deeply sorry if i am), i felt compelled to know for myself the history (background, not only that of Diddy's but of those involved as well, which are a plenty!), and stories/un-fateful events, both current and the not-very-current, before i can draw my own hypothesis of this gruesome matter.

        "My friends, it is wise to nourish the soul, otherwise you will breed dragons and devils in your heart." - Carl Gustav Jung, The Red book, p.232

        If i choose to come from my, most of the time, introverted nature nowadays, my personal take would be: all it takes for everyone of us is to live with each moment in Christ-consciousness. Since the beginning of my decision to share my thoughts through writing and personal sharing, i have been without let up driving the importance of finding the Christ within each of us as the only way to effectively emulate Jesus Christ. Unfortunately though, like Cory Feldman in this harrowing saga, i seem to be a "voice in the wilderness."

       "My people are ruined because of ignorance." this, too, i have unrelentlessly emphasized. Although i understand with absolute certainty the fact that for as long one's ego entity is what dictates his/her every thought, words, and action, nothing about that person is going to change. 

        Only God can change anything and everything. We have that God in us through Jesus Christ who came in flesh to show us the Way. We are co-creators towards God's plans for us. But no, most of us chose to ignore the importance of The God inside us by being doubting Thomases, especially those who consider themselves intellectuals, feeling empowered and thus, entitled. From these people, we can only imagine the magnitude of plethora of evilness from the people in authority and fame such as Hollywood kingdom. May i once again remind you that ego, because of its insecurity as an entity of the dark, is always endlessly longing/desiring for fame, power and fortune. And mind you, it does not have at all any contentment. It thrives in greed, so it destructs even itself. "Ignorance is bliss."? Think again.  

        Amused with Psychology, my grandson told me of a discouragement advised him by a relative elder when he told him, as saying: "It doesn't effect any good, as it only justifies a wrongdoing." Kung pwede lang, baka pinulot ko na ang nagsitaasan kong kilay na nahulog sa pinakamababang lugar! Gusto ko'ng mawalan ng ulirat pagkarinig ko. huhuhu So, that's what happened to him. i felt very sorry for the guy. His understanding of our power of choice fell so short. My prayers.

        Science and spirituality must go together, or we fall from grace. Not one can successfully go through peacefully with life without the other. (Scientology is a crap!) As humans, we must understand our self from the viewpoint of all the established scientific studies (whatever resonates with us in our endeavor to become better people) there are; and as soulful humans (there are some who don't) we must get in touch with the Holy Spirit 24/7. Yup, without let up. In continuum. If you have difficulty believing in that, continuum, then vou do not understand multi-dimensionality yet, much less live in it. But be that as it may, never lose hope. 

        "There are three (3) things: Faith, Hope, and Love. But the greatest is Love."  I will forever embrace the religion of my choice regardless its imperfections. Nothing is perfect in any religion anyways. But i will continue to live in my own authenticity because i believe that is how God wanted for me to be. Maybe also because deep down within me i would like to remain very loyal by the one who brought me to Jesus Christ, my Mother Mary. i am not very religious, that is why i am not also very dogmatic. My faith is in my heart. It is there that i feel what is for me and what is not. I wished to understand Love first, trusting that when i do, everything will follow. Hope is eternal.

        Life is meant for friendships and service, guys. For whatever, you know where to reach me. i am ever reachable because i am not a star nor wishing to be. i am just me. let us help one another. Ciao.💜

SOMETIMES LOVE JUST AIN'T ENOUGH, in honor of Liu (Fat Cat)

i wrote this after crying so hard for the boy who jumped to his death because of a💔. 

Pope Francis has issued a statement already about the moral righteousness of a divorce, i respect and honor that because he is correct in his decision/s as he always is. In fact he is the only pope fit for this era, i think. But, as my young dearly loved friend and i, continue to discuss on the matter of the divorce controversy i continue to hold on to my stand being against it. 

"Life Teaches" was the print of a white over-sized shirt gifted to me back in the 90's. Maybe if i had not been from an experience of getting free, from a hellish marriage of 23 agonizing years, through a church nullification and afterwards civil annulment, i might have been a pro-divorce advocate also. Pero nga kasi i had to find ways to set me free (ayaw ng ex-husband, when i prayed for the help of his lawyer best friend na cousin ko, at bagkus ay nagalit pa daw dahil pinangingialaman s'ya. Very typical for a boy, who pretends to be a man, to have his cake and eat it, too. kalurkey!) and i was set free naman, salamat sa Diyos!🙏

Our life experiences and translations/interpretations of them are a great part of what make us unique from one another, thereby making the phrase "no two individuals are exactly alike. Not even an identical twins." true. When i was in the nullification process, i had with me a case at that same time whose basis for the nullification was psychological. At matagal na s'yang living-in with his partner. It pained them both not to be able to partake during communion rite in Holy Masses, lalo't may mga edad na rin. My basis nga pala was technical deformity. Sana kasi early kong nalaman ang sinabi ni Carl Jung about synchronicities. Talk about hard-headedness!😏(tama nga si Rick Price in his song title na ONLY HEAVEN KNOWS)

i still stand believing doon sa sinabi ng isang lawmaker na "we have enough, even maybe more than enough laws, na kailangan lang i-implement ng mabuti at maipaliwanag ng wasto sa publiko." So, feeling ko, why do we need pa more? i was also a battered wife then sa lahat ng aspeto: economic, psychological, physical, name everything there is. Nakalabas naman ako. If i did it, others also can. 

Looking back, however, i realized that i really had to go through all those that i went through because i have a long task ahead of me. Living in here is definitely not about our age. Not how long we live, but how we conduct our lives to be able to sincerely contribute sa kung anuman ang pinagdaanan ko na pwede'ng makapagpabago ng pananaw ng iba for their own sake also, especially for their freedom.

At eto na nga, ginulantang ulit ang medyo mahimlay ko ng damdamin ng nakakalumong pagtalon ni Liu sa Shibanpo Yangtze River Bridge, whose body was found 12 days later pa. He jumped on April 11, this year. This got me crying all over again because i have a pressured-cooked heart for the young. 

Flash back: after failing my marriage, i was trying so hard helping me get myself back not only for my children but for me mostly, as "i cannot give them what i do not have." ('yan kaya ang guiding principle ng mga katulad ko?), nang tiempo namang nagkahiwalay din ang anak ko at ang girlfriend n'ya since high school. "When it rains, it really does pour!" Nanadya ang panahon ng bonggang-bongga. i had to accompany him in his healing journey because sino pa nga ba? Meron pa bang iba? Eldest son ko nga pala s'ya. i would later learn, years after, na the cause of the break up was maternal intervention. In this 3-dimensional world, it would seem to me that most of what comprise us as One people (supposedly) is a hedonist attitude where money is god.

Nineteen years later, eto na naman, umulit s'ya: my third son and his lawfully-wedded wife separated due again to hedonism, leaving their only child with us (salamat sa Diyos may isang kaluluwa na posibleng mabago as "it is easier to raise a child than a broken man.") Sama ulit sa takbo ng buhay ng nangangailangang anak. But this one, because he is a "seeker", i was just so glad he intently listened to my inputs on human dynamics and psycho-kinesiology uniquely according to him and the estranged wife. Later on, when he was already able to maneuver back his own life, i dealt with his kid. We are living in this house na practically all the 4 of us are under a Leo sign, so one can only imagine the chaos kung pagbibigyan ang temperament ng bawat-isa under an ego-drive because of its ignorance! Kaya pala walang puknat ang "pagtawag" sa akin para mag-aral ng kung anu-ano in every possible ways that i can so i will understand. Praise God.

Liu's death was, more than my experience with my sons, i feel i can relate more because i was very young when i was heartbroken, too. Personal ang epekto more or less. First loves bring the deepest cut. But more so for Liu because he invested in a lot of very, very hard-earned money na mas kailangan sana ng naghihirap din n'yang pamilya (as revealed by his sister later). Woe unto him/her who cannot survive a first cut. But a great promise naman to who can. Laban lang sana. 

Pero when one is born in a society where practicality is not balanced with spirituality, lalo naman when there is an absence of a support system inside a family, na pinalala pa ng self-controlled vulnerability, i can just cry for you so hard na hindi na ako magtatanong kung bakit. Kasi lahat pala tayo, when merged with divinity na ang pananaw sa pagmamahal, ay magmamahal na lang ng kusa kahit na anupaman. Undertanding is indeed a gift.

The 3D definition of Love will get anybody wasted in the end, i tell you all, guys, as it is only Love's divinity that won't wear off. Understand Love more in the context of the God inside you. Don't rush. Wait. i repeat: Solitude heals. You will know that in your heart. Promise.

Until sometime again, precious ones. Ciao.😘💕

IS THERE TRULY JUSTICE IN LEGALIZING DIVORCE?

Maingay ulit ang dalawang kampo, kaya nagpasya akong uriratin ang bagay na ito. But let me make it clear first that this is how i personally see/evaluate things involving this controversy. I come with no intention to affect anybody's opinion.

My young friend, of substance, sent me a private massage regarding this matter as we used to talk this way as officemates then. Magka-ututang-dila kami, despite our age difference, kasi sa mga bagay-bagay na gusto naming intindihin sa medyo malalimang pananaw o perspektibo. But this one got me into thinking deep that i need to google ano nga ba ang diperensya ng dalawa (annulment at divorce) talaga. 

The following are Google's respective definitions for each:

Very simply, "a divorce ends a legal marriage and declares the spouses to be single again."; while

"an annulment is a ruling that erases a marriage by declaring the marriage null and void and that the union was never legally valid." Record-wise the marriage remain. There seemingly is a tinge of complication in the latter, isn't it?

In the grand tapestry of our unique landscape, marami nga ang papabor sa unang tingin nila sa diborsyo dahil normal na normal sa tao ang gustuhin at piliin ang madaliang pamamaraan para makalabas sa kung anumang hindi kagandahang sitwasyon na kanilang kinalalagyan. A human being is very naturally impatient. Gusto n'ya palagi ng instant gratification, 'yong tipong "i want this, and i want this NOW!"

S/he does not believe that "great things take time." that therefore, there is something wrong in his/her belief system. Mayubay ang kanyang pananampalataya, hindi nakaangkla sa nakasaad sa libro at bersikulo Jeremiah 29:11. 

"Broken women know how to love,

but not who to love;

broken men know who to love,

but not how to love."

The government is prone to side with the ephemerality of life and of the world kaya ang tutok nila ay nasa pang-ibabaw na kaanyuan ng mga pangyayari lamang, kaya normal din para sa kanila ang solusyunan ang mga bagay sa pinakamadaling pamamaraan. While the church goes a lot deeper than what is normally seen on the outside because it is concerned with faith; with belief. Kaya matagal at madugo muna ang pinagdadaraanan sa annulment process nito kasi both of the couple are given the benefit of the doubt, as members of one body of Christ. 

I honestly think that the church is greatly concerned with what happens next after the divorce law is passed, as humans are prone to abuse also. Pag inabuso/naabuso yan, ang daming mga bata ang apektado sigurado. At mahihirapan tayong kayanin pa 'yan. 

We are witnesses to multitudes of suicides committed by the young in the recent past. The main reason is usually love na buong akala lang natin ay out of romanticism kasi mababaw nga lang ang pagtingin at intindi natin. Pero kung alam natin at intindi ang tinatawag na human dynamics alam nating ang kawalan ng totoong pagmamahal sa sarili ang dahilan ng lahat. 

The church is concerned with the family structure as a basic unit because true love begins in there. Kung patuloy lang na sisirain ang pamilya, rather than be given salient interventions to improve it, i wonder how many folds will be added sa mga sira na ngayon pa lang? To even think about the numbers gives me shivers.

In one of the sermons at a wedding, an officiating priest reminded of the newly-weds to be particular of how they, as a couple, bear with one another so that their resulting children will not be broken as it is very difficult to heal that sometimes they do not heal at all.

Generally, people are good at hiding how they are doing. Sometimes for fear of what might be said against them, na lalong pinabibigat kung hindi nila alam papaano ito sasabihin. Most of us are ashamed to show our vulnerability, so we keep living on seemingly agreeable facades. Life's been mostly a bitch for us. We grew up not knowing how to deal with them. 

Unconsciously caught up by romanticism, people tie the knot, marry with eyes closed and enjoy the party. It's what mostly happens. Not with everybody, but very surely with the many. For how long the marriage stays only the two of them can guess. 

Love takes time because it does not primarily involve one's three (3) lower energy centers or chakras. Dito muna sa energy centers ang totoong labanan ng bawat tao. Ang tinatawag na alchemical process that refines and purifies us para mabuo ulit tayo. Kaya ipinaalala palagi sa atin na "we are our own enemy." Na wala sa labas ang kaaway. When we commit to a marriage while still broken, we are naturally bound to produce broken children. The vicious cycle is doomed to go on until I don't know when. 

Let me leave you then with the question as my title: "IS THERE TRULY JUSTICE IN LEGALIZING DIVORCE?" because when there is no justice, there is no peace. Promise.

Ciao, everyone.

THAT'S THE WAY IT IS

         "I can read your mind and i know your story

          I see what you're going through, yeah.

          It's an uphill climb and i'm feeling sorry

          but i know it will come to you, yeah

          Don't surrender 'cause you can win

          in this thing called LOVE.

Remembering clearly these as they are etched in my heart beginning the day i hit rock bottom and on my way to my recovery. The thing is, most of those who cannot keep themselves intact when they are broken is that they are so attached with whatever, wherever, or whomever they associate with that idea of feeling in love. Trust me, I was there then, that's why i know.

It was a very, very difficult phase for me because sabi nga ni Kim Chiu, nagmahal lang naman ako. And because "when you hit rock bottom you have nowhere to go but up" i went back to reading the Holy Bible again, partly because i wanted to find sana a kakampi naman (dahil mostly lumaki ako tending to myself) at kailangang-kailangan ko ng makikinig sa akin who will be there lovingly and patiently listening to my woes. I was so broken and did not know where to begin picking my shredded self off.

                  When you want it the most there's no easy way out

        When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt

        Don't give up on your Faith, 

        Love comes to those who believe it

        And that's the way it is.

Fast forward kasi i am not there anymore naman na. And so it is, i focused on studying, researching again about human nature, its dynamics, intricacies/complexities, and however they are called, para lang maintindihan ko ang sa tingin ko ay sobrang mga mahahalaga'ng bagay-bagay for my peace of mind (kasama na siempre ang healing). In short, i stayed in my left brain for the longest time na dumating na rin ako sa puntong hindi na maganda ang political outlook ko, lalo na pag nababalikan ko sa pagninilay ko ang opinyon ni Thomas Harris (may-akda ng libro'ng I'm Okay, U'r Okay) where he stressed that "Democracy is for the intelligent electorate."

The good thing about teaching and coaching is that, the learning goes both ways, na parang pagmamahalan lang na two-way street nga daw, na totoo naman. Having begun my psycho-kinesiology practice in 2013, marami na rin ang nagbago both sa akin at sa mga pananaw ko. This led me lately to veer away from the political aspects of practically everything. W/Man's greed for power leads him/her nowhere, at wala rin namang magagawa ang sinuman maliban sa sarili so, bakit pa? "You can bring a horse in a river, but you cannot make it drink."

I went back into accepting the thought that i am probably made to understand about what i was interested the most because my focus would be human relations. Honestly, i was most excited about this thought. Bakit? Kasi only love makes the world go round. The various stories that make up for the successes and failures of loving (however way it is translated) is most fascinating, don't you think? Well, unless ipokrito o ipokrita ka, op kors. Pag ganoon ka, hala ka, tanungin mo na ang sarili mo kung tao ka pa ba? hehehe joke lang po..✌

In today's topic i would like to delve into the most intriguing and super duper kilig love story of KimPau. No, it is not because Paulo's roots are from Calbayog, but it's his depth that caught my interest. He is a cousin to a very beautiful lady who i consider to be "almost my daughter" and whose depth is quite the same as his (Paulo's), that is why she is also very misunderstood - typical of old souls anyways. 

Well, because both Kim Chiu and Paulo Avelino are popular stars, especially these days, hindi ko na kailangang ulitin pa how he manifested his love for Kim. He waited so long na kung hindi ganon kalakas ang paniniwala (Faith) ay matagal na sanang bumitaw. The traits of introverted people are just so exemplary that their gauge must be their inner knowing - that powerful thing called intuition which says na alam mo. Na hindi mo naman alam pero deep inside alam mong alam mo. Whew, hirap ipaliwanag. Ang makakaintindi lang yata ay 'yong mga makaka-relate because been there na. 

As for Kim, oh, wow, this girl is not really just a girl. She is a super girl, but really a quintessential woman. Babae ako'ng may edad na, pero saludo'ng-saludo ako sa kanya that despite her being young, who has been through a lot as well, pero talagang napangalagaan ang sarili n'yang pagka-babae. This is, for me, the main reason why she stands out as the inspiration for young women in this day and age of a rather loose morality among the young and old alike. Sorry again..✌✌

                    When you question me for a simple answer

        I don't know what to say, NO.

        But it's plain to see if you stick together,

        you're gonna find a way, yeah

        So, don't surrender 'cause you can win

        in this thing called LOVE.

Sa paghahanap mo sa sarili mo, huwag ka lang talaga sanang mawawala. You must be intact come hell or high water, lalo na ang brain and heart coherence mo. Panatilihin palagi ang pagmamasid sa sarili, as conscious awareness of the self is very important.

Thing is, there is only one (1) secret in finding true love - the kind that lasts a lifetime - which is not really, in a sense, a secret. It only became a secret because precisely it was not explained nor understood clearly. It is why Kim Chiu is loved by the most coveted bachelors and the target of envy of less attractive ladies despite their pretty faces and sexy bods. 

Yup, love conquers all. The Universal Law of Attraction clearly shows that you attract who or what you are. Kim and Paulo's common denominator is that. Their friendship is a big plus factor, kasi ang buhay ay hindi lang naman puro kilig. There is also a so-called practicality that is attached to a balanced life and meaningful living. We are very naturally dichotomous beings na nasasakop ng tinatawag na Universal Law of Polarity. So then, the big question you have to ask yourself if you are in search of love and loving is, am i love? But your guide to knowing if you are love is, am i a loving person? And the first and biggest manifestation for that is self respect. "Kindness is for the strong." When you respect your own self, you'll respect others. 

The prerequisite to falling in love then, is to be love yourself. Dahil sa kadahilanang pagmamahal ka, normal lang na mahalin ka, kasi kamahal-mahal palagi ang pagmamahal, di nga ba? Well, sa mga may nakakubkub na hindi magandang espiritu, kasuklam-suklam ka, siempre. But that is part of being alive that one must accept, appreciate or endure. Pero makakayanan mo ang lahat dahil kampante kang mayroong nand'yan at pinuprotektahan ka. "If God is within or for  me, who can be against me?" God is love and therefore, you are.

If you are not yet love, pasensyahan po, pero pagdaraanan mo muna ang mga dapat mo talagang pagdaanan, no matter the pain. Wala po kasing painless process na tinatawag. Dapat cleared ka muna o bayad sa mga pagkakamali mong nagawa sa kapwa mo. This is where the need for solitude or isolation comes in. "We pay for everything as only the grace of God is free." (True Grit) 

When you are done with your clearing job, the grace of God becomes your clearance to become love. At malalaman mo 'yan sa puso mo. Your direct line to God is your heart because your heart is the seat of your soul. And then the road to ultimate joy begins. Kaya sabi ni Paulo: wala sa edad 'yan. 

There will be flood/s of tears na aagos muna, hiningang parang mapupugto, at puso'ng parang mabibiyak, dahil lahat ng ipinaranas mo sa kapwa mo ay babalik sa 'yo dahil tayo ay iisa (know the Universal Law of Oneness). Nasa sa 'yo na lang kung kakayanin mo o hindi muna. Walang mangingialam sa desisyon mo dahil buhay mo naman 'yan, at hindi sa iba. Uulitin ko na naman po ang kasabihang "buntot mo, hila mo" sa puntong ito dahil marami talaga ang matitigas na nga ang ulo, broken pa ang puso.💔

              When life is empty, with no tomorrow

      And loneliness starts to call

      Baby, don't worry, forget your sorrow

      'cause Love's gonna conquer it all.

      ALL."

May pag-asa. Kapit lang, kaibigan.💗

Until then, my most revered friends! Sana makatulong ito sa inyong pagninilay. Kasihan nawa tayong lahat ng Maykapal.🙏

 

THE THING IS…

Seems to me like we have been surrounded, for many millennia and still continue to be, by people who have been very used to thinking for themselves alone and acting according to the desires of their flesh with complete disregard for the people they call family – the basic unit in our society that one is supposed to first love and protect. Ilang katao na ba ang umiwan sa kanilang sari-sariling pamilya upang magsilbi ng pamilyang hindi sa kanila? People are so emotionally distressed they often get confused and muddle their supposed priorities according to morality.

Man, being his/her own basic, forgot his/her very essence as a human being endowed with a God-soul. The good news is, as we go through time, little by little the clarity has begun that “the conflict is not between good and evil, but between knowledge and ignorance.” The importance of knowing that we are made for balance is the main purpose of real living, because as spirits we are here for experience – as it is through experience where we learn the value of discernment.

So that then, we are repeatedly told that true love primarily involves acceptance of the person and situation. The lack or total disregard for proper discernment, usually effectively done by solitude, has made us inhuman thereby affecting the closest people to the family we supposed to belong to. Hindi natin sila mabigyang halaga sa kadahilanang ayaw din nating bigyang halaga ang sarili natin. We usually are completely oblivious to our own thoughts. Bakit? Kasi nga sobrang mahirap ang mag-isip. It is super duper easy to judge instead. And then we justify our judgments as if the guilt will dissipate right after justification. No, po. It remains until we pay them in full. Unknowingly, it is in our being judgmental, sometimes condemning even, that we pay the price. “Only the grace of God is free.”

The law of karma is perfectly applicable to judgmental people. But when one strives hard to understand the dynamics of our humanness, once a karma hits to others who once hurt him/her, s/he does at all rejoice in the unfortunate event because s/he understands that “karma is not a system of punishment. It is a system of learning." -Dolores Cannon

This is where hope begins. But…

Learning, however, can prove to be very difficult for bitter and miserable people. This is the basis for the unending call and inspiration to seek/find healing, and life meaning. The inability to find healing gets people stuck, and woe to some others who choose to end their own life.

Unhealed wounds of the past are the greatest procrastinator to finding balance – the only way to find Heaven on Earth. The present day’s complaints of school teachers regarding problematic students actually begun a long time ago in each students’ life in their very own family. No one is exempt. This problem is rooted since Adam and Eve.

Emancipation from this can only be possible through family therapy. I absolutely believe in this because I once participated in a session led by a Registered Social Worker in a government office I was a part of. I volunteered because I wanted to see for myself how it is done. I was only supposed to observe, until I sensed the lack in the approach. I butted in after permission, of course. Kinailangan ko lang ipaalala sa kanila ang importansya ng pagpapatawad.

Forgiveness is the most part to realize and implement for all of the members in the family, regardless the age and status, when handling situations such as this. It must be the centrifugal force of the session because the goal is to cure. Kaya nga family therapy, e. “Every good and bad thing/s begins in the family.” Huwag kang humanap ng excuse/s, bagkus ay tanggapin mo ang katotohanang ito at mariing suriin ang sarili mo.

Ego drive ang nagpatakbo sa bawat-isa sa atin. We were ruined by it, and sadly continue to be. To tame the ego requires only conscious awareness of the self, again, beginning from our thoughts to how we speak and act or behave. Consistency must be applied though. Magkamali man, kasi hindi naman magic ang pagbabago, ay kinakailangan lang patawarin ang sarili at humingi ng paumanhin kaagad-agad sa tao o mga taong na-offend. Those who have difficulty asking for forgiveness are usually people who have been used to entitlement since they were young. They developed the habit as they grew up, to their own detriment.

Hanggang dito na lamang po muna. Hanggang sa susunod na lamang po nating pag-uusap. We have to thread and understand life a step at a time. Patuloy lang tayong magkahawak-kamay sa ating paglalakbay. We will make it! 😉

 The Intricate Loop of A Relationship

Wrote this on the 13th of the Happy Hearts' Day (popularly known Valentine's Day) due the next day. And yup, my timing is intentional, kasi nga nauuso ang pangungutya sa mga desperadang kabitenya raw. Sa ganang akin, gusto ko palagi silang bigyan ng decency because they remain to be human beings na naliligaw lang ng landas. "There is no sin big enough not to be forgiven." 

i was merely eight (8) years old then, but i already knew how to appreciate physical appearances in those times when it was not yet as rampant as now. i do not exactly know why, but i felt like i was ahead, so much ahead, of everybody else's time back then like, i knew i had someone out there regardless how he looks. Going back now, i greatly think i was only romanticizing the idea because the truth has always been with me - that my focus of study will be regarding relationships, friendships included, of course. 

Every kind of broken relationship every time brings me pain for everyone involved. For a time, especially during the early part of my marriage break up, my first thought was that it has something to do with my woundedness and disappointment of a shattered dream. Now it is very clear to me that it has got nothing to do with any of that. Sharing with you the clarity of my understanding as an effect of my reading last December 2023. 

To quote:

    KARMIC RELATIONSHIPS Versus HIGHER-LOVING RELATIONSHIPS

    "Have you ever dated someone and thought they were the ONE but in the end, it didn't work out?

     You would be surprised to know how many people confuse karmic relationships with finding the             ONE, their twin-flame or soulmate (as Love is a soul thing). This happened to me more than once         and it was heart breaking (every time) to say the least.

     It all starts with this strong and passionate attraction between two (2) people.

     They fall madly in love, and everything seems to be out of the ordinary. But after a while, things start      to go south, an avalanche of pain and drama engulfs the relationship and what once seemed like a         fairytale has turned into a nightmare.

     Karmic Relationships

     Everyone has a certain frequency (the vibratory oscillation rate of the atomic and sub-atomic                 particles in your field) which ranges between 50 - 150 Ghz. Frequency is extremely important                 because of the Law of Resonance which states that: depending on the frequency you have, you will        resonate with people, places, times, things, and events that have similar (if not identical) frequency.

     Two (2) people do not get together and stay together unless they have the same or very similar                 frequency. 

     Karmic relationships are relationships in which the frequency of karmic imprints become the                 determining factor that attracts two (2) people and later create the dysfunctional relationship                 dynamics that later sabotage the relationship."

Written by a male writer, i suppose, this totally got me as my interest lies heavily on the logical side of my brain, to balance out the heaviness of my right side that brought me so much pain as i went through all those "hell".

The writer's explanation of the intricacy of the karmic loop in relationships does not however, end there. i intentionally made this pause for a little while to make sure that the general idea of break ups is basically about the choice of energy which is the main factor that is involved in the creation of a frequency.  

For quite some time now, the main drive of advocacy has been about raising our frequency through our vibrational modality which primarily involves our energy choice. But it has unfortunately not gotten that much of our people's attention, especially in this part of the planet, because the seeming focus of attention is how to get rich, popular, and/or powerful. Most prayers consist of those. Trust me.

To continue:

     There are numerous factors that determine your relationship frequency, but one of the most                     influential factors are karmic imprints and the emotional pain body. If you look closely, you'll realize      that people who are in a relationship usually are playing opposite sides of the karmic imprint                 spectrum.

     Polarity-based Attraction

     Let's say that you have karmic imprints of not being worthy of love. Based on the frequency of this         karmic imprint, you will most likely attract a person who subconsciously believes s/he is incapable         of giving love or opening his/her heart chakra a.k.a. energy center.

Both the karmic relationship and polarity-based attraction are merely temporary attraction based merely on feelings at and of the moment which are not definite by nature. Wala dapat ikinababahala tungkol dito lalo na't pabagu-bago naman ang emosyon. Why does it bring so much chaos to people concerned, especially in a triangular set up?  

"Evil is whatever distracts." - Franz Kafka

Marriage happens when two (2) people agree to do so, for varying reasons. They make a vow to stay true, or maybe not, but regardless they try their best to stay together in sickness (including mental and emotional, not only physical) and in health, which is the ideal. 

For a certain period of time everything seemed alright. Until one uneventful day when a distraction must come in between them to stir their otherwise calm situation, which actually was just a test to see how they cope, but they were challenged big by: will they give in and break away or choose to stay? Dito na nagkakaiba ang desisyon ng bawat-isa sa isang mag-asawa. We cannot control how people think. We can only control our own self. 

If one is distracted by someone whose main agendum probably is to destruct the marriage vows of a couple, then walang magagawa ang isang maiiiwan dahil hindi naman n'ya hawak ang pag-iisip ng umalis na asawa. Ang tanging maiiwan sa kanya ay ang gawin ang nararapat n'yang gawin na naaayon sa moralidad o tamang kaisipan ng isang matinong tao. 

"Evil is whatever distracts." Huwag na huwag kang sumama sa pagtalon nila sa kung saan man nila gustong mahulog o pumunta. Create your own path no matter how hard. You have loved ones who are looking up to you for inspiration. Never fail them. For what is love without sacrifice. 

In this New Age, so they say, i still maintain my otherwise conventional thinking. i am happy to continue to be. Why so? i have tried as much as i could to learn, re-learn and muster (believe you me, ang daaami-dami ko na ring in-unlearn!) important things not just to carry me through but most importantly to raise my vibration and up my frequency. 

True love is found deep within each of us. Sa istoryang mag-asawa at kabitenya, balikan natin 'yong sabi nila na: "hurt people hurt." Kung tanggap mong isa ka sa kanila, well then, magpagaling ka. GOD IS THE GREATEST PHYSICIAN. "An gugma naton san Ginoo, tinikangan san kinaadman..." goes a line in one of our Church songs. Nobody is devoid of intelligence. Lahat matalino. Ang nakakabobo ay ang mga hindi kaayaayang emosyon dala karamihan ng mga sugat ng nakaraan at ang mga mala-higanteng mga pangarap na ewan lang kung para saan. "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth..." Matthew 6:19

"A person is capable to love only as much as s/he loves him/herself." 

MABUHAY KA, KAIBIGAN. 

FOR EVERY PAINFUL ENDING, A BEAUTIFUL BEGINNING

Nawindang ang sambayanan, bata, tin-edyer, o matanda, sa pasabog ng Philippine Cinema-landia tungkol sa paghihiwalay ng labing-isang taong pagsasamahan ng Kathniel loveteam. It happened exactly three (3) days ago, because the announcement was allegedly planned to coincide with the celebration of Andres Bonifacio Day to make sure/seal the probability of the third party (Andrea, female version, the supposed culprit in the breakup) to be outrightly known, exposed, and thereby allow for them (Andrea's camp) no room for any move to deny the accusation. Everything is a craft, a business move, which must be taken advantaged of. 

Others, especially the politically-oriented and patriotically-inclined ones were disappointed why give so much importance to such "nonsense" when eto nga't lugmok na lugmok tayo at naghihikahos ang buong bayan dahil sa korapsyon ng liderato at kaitaas-taasang pamahalaan ng bayan. Bakiiit?

i am thus, taking advantage, also, of this momentous (or mishap?) event for an enlightenment and once again introduce important things as regards human facts and dynamics. Matagal ko rin munang pinagnilayan muna, lalo na ang pagsusuri sa aking sarili as i needed to make sure that i was coming from a good place, bago sulatin ang nilalaman ng loob ko. It is very difficult for a moralist to live in the midst of a chaotic world dominated by both immorality and amorality to jump into conclusions, lalo't unang-una mong isinaaalang-alang ang kapakanan ng mambabasa mo or to whoever you share your thoughts with. When you are committed to your life mission, you must likewise be completely accountable and reliable at all times.

i express my absolute admiration for Kathryn Bernardo's statement. To me, that was a perfect example of the first book ever i read, from cover to cover, after my marriage break up, entitled EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE by Daniel Goleman. So sweet and so mature a statement that was really, i must admit, for a very young lass of twenty seven (27) only and who just had one boyfriend experience at that. From her we realized maturity is not necessarily equated with age, nor maybe of experience. Pero ano nga bang malay natin sa mga sakripisyo at sakit na pinangdaanan n'ya in that eleven (11) years?

For the past year, female prominence has been started to take center stage. The problem that blocked for it to take over as fast was primarily the misconception of its context, as we are a very gender oriented society. This fact is even made more difficult by the seemingly closed or narrow-mindedness of our people for the introduction of new and more enlightening facts for human development/ascension. 

Female prominence actually means, the use of every individual's right brain (responsible for relationship/s) regardless his/her gender. It is said to be our return to our original practice as people when this world was first created. For so long a time, when the male prominence, or also called left brain dominance, has overtaken this world all it resulted to was nothing but moral degeneration and decay. 

The first to be contaminated, of course, by this phenomenon was the male specie who is generally left-brained. As for the right-brained female specie, they became mostly target of exploitation in effect of the brain imbalance. 

Maturity calls for an ending of a blame game. It is the beginning of awakening. When one is awakened, s/he chooses to understand and heal no matter how difficult the process might entail. S/he chooses to be whole; aim for completion; and find the balance of both of his/her yin and yang or masculine and feminine to find his/her true self once again. 

The third (fourth, fifth, etc., etc. kahit na pang-ilan pa 'yan) party is another story, but of the same origination. i studied Psychology to understand my aversions, because as i have said, i found difficulty in living this crazy world, that i was diagnosed to suffer from a psychosomatic ailment at the age of seventeen (17) years old, after many years of extreme loneliness and pain. True enough, "Life is difficult." so said M. Scott Peck in his first trilogy book of THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED. 

But, i must say, and this is very important: i was able to completely eradicate my aversions for people, and learned to love unconditionally, by finding God who is also in me (i would learn later). God is the greatest physician of all, i have said that time and again. God is who gives everyone of us the needed balance. As a Catholic, i am consistent in my belief that when Jesus said, "I will be in each one of you.", He made true of that promise and thus, He stayed in our heart. 

During those times that i was lost, (because i was ghosted by my best friend, my first male friend who my soul probably recognized during our first meeting that was why i felt something strange for him), my left brain (responsible for logical thinking) told me to get even, with boys! Revenge to avenge. i lost the best part of me for so long. If there was something that saved me (i did not go all out even for once!), it was that small voice inside of me which now i came to know as a "divine spark" inside us. Ito 'yong kasa-kasama natin para hindi tayo tuluyang bumigay, mapariwara, at maligaw sa tamang landas ng buhay. 

When finally my twenty three (23) year-marriage failed, i went back to reading books to find answers to my questions, which later led me to a decision that it was the culmination of all the painful years na pinagdaanan ko. Kinailangan kong balikan ang mga nakaraan ko para mapatawad ko sa puso ko ang mga tao doon, lalong-lalo na ang sarili ko. 

Each one has his/her own unique path. The one thing i am certain about, after all that i have been through, is that we are triggered by the one we love the most para mahanap muli ang totoong tayo.  Real Love does not necessarily need physical connection, because it is a soul thing. Nobody has the power to dissolve it. It is a big part of God's plan. And neither time and space exist in a soul connection because "a spiritual bond is unbreakable." - Dolores Cannon

Hanggang sa muli, mahal kong kaibigan. Nawa'y palaging nasa mabuti ka. Iiyak mo lang 'yan kung kailangan. Bukas okey ka na naman. Pramis.😘💕