SAME-SEX MARRIAGE: HOW GRAVE A SIN IS IT?

Just like the majority of us, I am one of those who were and are still greatly offended by the great controversy regarding the latest fad involving gays and lesbians. This is not to say that I am condemning them. Never! I have tried so hard to understand things especially people and their accompanying behavior that I practically and wholeheartedly came to love them no matter, knowing perfectly well the difference between loving and liking.

Let me begin by telling you, dear friends, that since my high school days my first ever good friend was a gay. I was then in an identity crisis like him, enough reason for us to attract each other. He was very dear to me that news about his death (he was my classmate and he died when I was barely in my first year of college) not only came to me as a surprise but it really made me so sad. I cried. Just like many of them, his self-inflicted death (because it was not really intended as a suicide) was due to un-acceptance by his own family. Up until now, I am still good friends with many gays and lesbians. I find it even more openly comfortable now being friends with them because of my wider understanding about their probable behavioral beginnings.
When news broke out though, about the ceremonial wedding of their kind (same sex), I was devastated by their personal decisions to be, but more by the supposed authorities who wedded them. A graduate of Psychology, I later enrolled and took up Guidance and Counseling as my major subject for a master’s degree (but has not been able to write my thesis yet), mainly intending to help people understand people. But no matter how elaborate I make or expand my personal understanding (by reading books of substance also) I will remain to be affected by the transgressions my brethren make. Yes, I do clearly understand that calling every little mistake a sin will only make matters worse rather then help a person grow up. But neither can letting them absolutely be also!

“Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” These were words of wisdom uttered by I forgot who already, but because these are powerful words for change, I do not ever forget. The problem I see with people in authority whose moral backgrounds remain unchecked until they rose to power is their hastiness to implement action disregarding the gravity that it will cause to the society as a whole.

“Transformation is a nature of every human being, and the Universe it self. (Deepak Chopra)” But the transformation that is happening over periods of time, maybe especially now, is for the worse. And I can see very clearly also that our Godless mentality is a prime factor for this negative transformation. Now it is easy for me to understand why in the progression sessions of Dr. Brian Weiss (because his practice has already evolved), some of his patients are allegedly seeing or actually being in a world where the inhabitants are greatly minimized.

One of my son’s favorite lines is from Abraham Lincoln, which he posted one time in his Facebook account states: “Everyone can withstand difficulty; but if you want to test a man’s character give him power.” A person cannot develop a strong character nowadays because he has not been made to get emotionally strong but is kept being shielded by the parents (biological or surrogate) from emotional trials in his growing up. That is one of the possible reasons. Another can perhaps be because he was trained to deal with his emotionality by himself – the reason for his emotional suppression or repression. Then and now our society’s resolve is to keep experimenting – as if people are mere guinea pigs.

Anatomically speaking, for the longest time already marriage has been an emotional co-dependency, and nothing else (your violent reaction is most welcome), same sex or not! And it has been translated into where sex can be done without limits, thus feel no guilt about it whatsoever. The union is made “legal” for such purpose alone. It’s as if the marriage will erase the burden of the reality of conscience, the God within us.

God made only two (2) sexes as a matter of fact: a man and a woman. The other resulting sexes are man-made (or human-made). They are a result of our discrimination out of ignorance and our disobedience. The effect of the injustices we made. And as if our stubbornness is not enough yet, some misguided or blind authorities of their church went further down the ditch by conforming and tying the knot. They pinned our brethren down to their mistakes. They bound them to hell. “A blind leading a blind.”, matter of fact. Hindi kelan man magiging tama ang mali ng isa pang mali.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change; to change the things that I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.” Our being born with the gender that we are is one of God-given features that we need to accept. Our life’s events (archaic), nor that of our ancestors’ (archetype) must have nothing to do with it. Our sex urges or sexual preference/s must be tightly anchored to our reality. There can never be a justification for a sin against God. If we begin to reject our own self or the God in us, then it is but rightful for us to be rejected eventually. God can only be present in a person who accepts. Let’s begin our self-introspection with our reality.

Carl Gustav Jung’s archaic and archetype form of energies must be understood as things that we can change because they are both outside us. No matter the difficulty, emotional especially, we can change them with our determination and with God’s power of mercy and grace. It is not that we cannot find happiness if we are alone or without a partner. We definitely can, because God made us complete since birth. It is our sins that ruined our completeness. And we became sinful because of our ignorance. Satan took advantage of that ignorance to drive us nuts some more by instilling in us fear. It is fear that brought us insecurity. So, man has to resort even to the most perverted scheme to attain happiness and security. “My will be done.” God forgive them…!
Unless we decide to put order into our lives by bringing God back again, we can neither find peace nor sustain our happiness. We need to co-operate with our God. We need to always look up to not lose our way. Our mission here for our self is independence, to be complete. Our reality is, “we came here alone, we will leave here also alone. (Mary Latella: HEALING THE FAMILY)” Independence can only happen when there is complete dependence with our God. Until then there will be no sincere interdependence with one another. Personal motives will abound and injustices will continue. At magiging pakonti nang pakonti na nga ang tao sa mundong ito, marahil dahil na nga talaga sa sinasabi nilang, “survival of the fittest”. Father, Your Will be done.

It is my prayer for you not to misjudge me by thinking that it is easy for me to say the things that I am saying because I had been alone for some time now and that I am a woman. No, I beg your pardon. Certainly there is no such thing as gender-differences, and of course, age does not matter. What you find difficult, have been difficult also for me. Tao din po ako, at ‘di ako naiiba sa inyo. But I deal with my issues accordingly by living each moment at a time. And I try to balance my thinking before I go and make a decision, always abiding by God’s Will for me. It is in that sense that I am in no way any different from you because, we were given the same greatest gift of the power of the mind. The differences that were instilled in our mind frames came from power-search, a “conspiracy theory”. For a patriarchal society that is the Philippines, these differences are numerous and as well, outrageous!

But I have no room for outrage anymore. Rather all I have is for forgiveness and understanding. These are the good effects of acceptance, change, and my constant asking for God’s Wisdom. It is only that, I needed to write what I have in my mind to leave space for those that will be coming more. God has infinite Wisdom that is needed for a man’s/woman’s mind to fill his/her heart, for it not to tire and lose the interest to love and give that love away.

The desire for sex (or I prefer to call it love-making because my belief system tells me that sex can only be beautiful in God’s time, at the right place, and between two GODly man and woman) comes from our hormones which hormones are secreted by what is called neuro-chemical triggers. This is just a repeat of what I have already made mentioned in the past regarding Susan Fisher’s theory reflected in her book, WHY WE LOVE. Testosterone is the hormone responsible for awakening the sexual urge. This is to say then that for as long as a person’s mental health is capable of producing testosterone, then he/she is capable of having sex. The problem that frequently results from indiscriminate or undisciplined sex is the habit that is formed along with it.

The dangerous attachment to the habit is that: along with age, testosterone triples its secretion that sexual experimentation is most often sought because only one or two partners of whatever gender cannot satisfy the sexual appetite anymore! I was shocked when I heard this in a British TV Channel, as a new scientific finding, where they featured men, specifically, who consented to be interviewed as living evidence. This does not, however, exclude women. But because this unfortunate eventuality mostly involves men, it is but fitting to feature men. Some women who suffer from the resulting consequence we can probably refer to as, exception to the rule. The ill-effect of loveless sex, and pity the people who are buried in it!

Boys, for as long as you are stuck in your simple-mindedness, that boys will always think of and have sex, because you prefer to stay that way, then I can just pray for you. And girls, for as long as you do not change your mind set, that your best power to hold and capture a partner is through sex, because you also prefer to be that way, then you will also get stuck and just like your “bitter half” you will fail to become a woman of grace. So it is then, siring pa, “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” Mag-gamitan kayo. You deserve each other anyways. This is in as far as sex is concerned – the logical side of our story.

Now, let me talk to you about patience and understanding: where boys are impatient with the seeming unreasonableness of women; and women are tired of the endless insensitivity of men. No one between them is willing to understand the other. And both are proud to get counsel from somewhere. Both of them want to rid of each other because it is easier and simple. As if each one has a ready replacement na parang spare parts lang – this is the relational side of the story.

Same sex marriage is a simple preference para mapadali ang buhay. “I don’t like you to bother me with your issues because I have issues of my own. We can live with less stress if we don’t discuss each other’s personal issues. I would like us to just have fun, in any way we can. No obligation must come alongside it. If that’s okay with you then let’s get set and go!” This is men’s logic instructing men.

On the other side women’s relational aspect dictates: “I am a little girl, in need of caress and longing to be cared for, that I need your time and attention to fill the void in. You must understand where I am coming from and must be always patient with me, if you can give me that then let’s get together.”

The problem with an imbalanced life is that it is not only impatient and short of understanding but it leads to chauvinism/inflated self-esteem and martyrdom/deflated self-esteem. Rather than take the difficult journey, whatever shorter and easier road to travel the way to happiness is taken – and in their short-sightedness, perversion is the only road there is!

The marriage that you and I need is a marriage between our own masculine and feminine characteristics (Gary Zukav); the friendship between our white and dark shadow (Fr. John Monborquette, OMI); the reconnection of our twin soul (Ted Andrews); the relationship between our Brother Sun - the symbol of wisdom, and our Sister Moon - the symbol of emotion (St. Francis and St. Clare of Assisi); and finding our androgyny – the balance between our left and right brain (Daniel Goleman). Always, these two (2) aspects of the self are allies in the battle against a common enemy: illusion (Deepak Chopra), for ONLY LOVE IS REAL (Jesus Christ). Only a complete person can give and love completely. Only a complete man and a complete woman can make imperfections perfect in a marriage because of their forbearance for each other’s imperfections.

In the end, I pray for those who decided to enter and commit themselves into the same sex marriage and I pray hardly more for their church authorities who made the MOCK MARRIAGE – a marriage of illusion. Can it be called a blasphemy? I am not much of a moralist actually, even if I sound like I am, that is why I need to ask. Whatever, my prayers for all of us remain.
“It is not by looking into the light that we become luminous, but by plunging into the darkness. However, this is often unpleasant work, and therefore, not very popular.” Carl Gustav Jung.

Think more seriously because most of the time the truth lies beneath the unpopularity of things.

See you another time, dear friends!

RH Bill and the Church’s Approach to Oppose It

On the outset I would like to emphasize that I am a Catholic from the very beginning and had never been affiliated with any religion outside of it (not even in my wildest dreams, in the knowledge that religion-hopping is very much the same with lover-hopping, as a result of confusion), thereby making me a very strong oppositionist of abortion. While this is true, however, I do not adhere to the approach of our Church’s authorities to curb or stop the approval, much less implementation, of the proposed RH Bill.

The truth to the matter is, I had been hearing news about the way our authorities attacked the issue at hand, but did not believe any of it until I heard of one incorporating the matter in his homily. I paid due respect to everything the preacher said because as has been said "everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion".

Yes, indeed, "everyone is entitled to his/her opinion" that I am making this old adage my jumpstart to writing my own. From the time I woke up to matters related to metaphysics and the metaphysical world in relation to our Creator I carried with me my motto that "life is meant for friendships and service". My awakening led me to live my life accordingly.
It is also in the same manner that I wish for our Church to approach our fight to oppose the RH Bill. The world is faced with enumerable fighting already that we cannot afford to add up on its toll anymore. The so-called "love revolution" must be our weapon of destruction to destroy the evilness of this bill. I see no hope in fighting an evil if our strategy is "an evil for an evil". Only LOVE DESTROYS EVIL.

My point is, I would like to give the proponents of the bill the benefit of the doubt: that they might have written this bill in haste because they are pressured by the ever-rising population count that is greatly resulting in a more skewed or financial imbalance in the country (aside from greed and corruption, of course). Doing anything in haste, as we know, is a product of impatience and ignorance. Be that as it may, they are but doing their job being there in the political arena. They cannot do otherwise. They had to do what they think is expected of them. This matter of fact is on the one hand.

On the other hand (following the separation of the state/government and the Church), the Church also feels and thinks that it is doing what is morally expected of them as well, as they are what we call our "moral guardians". With what the Church is doing however, i clearly see no difference in its approach from that of the government’s: both of them employed the EASY WAY OUT. Meaning, both of them did everything in haste and ignorance. I apologize very sincerely for being blunt.

Unfamiliar with the SOP’s (standard operating procedures) of the highest office of the land (Malacanang Palace), I could only surmise that only the cream of the crop were assigned to formulate the RH Bill. If this has been so, then, the Church must do the same. Find the most fitting counterpart to strategize, but always according also to what is expected of them.
The Church history tells us that it had never been easy to follow Christ’s ways. In this evil-laden land it is and never will be easy. We have got to take our cue from that understanding. We have to have patience, for is patience not a virtue? And we must study/research hard, for is not ignorance our greatest enemy? It is an absolute certainty to put up a fight and not feel good about it if we are fighting bitterly, for "only a virtuous man is a happy man. (MY WAY OF LIFE: The Confraternity of Blood)"

The problem lies in our neurosis which led to paranoia (M. Scott Peck: THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED). Because we allowed this to take over us, we are now fighting out of our FEAR, specifically, unfortunately the "fear of the unknown". We have forgotten Jesus Christ’s words for us "not to worry".

To choose to decide to move out of fear is to lose the battle because that is what we are sending the universe, SIMPLY because whatever we think, say, and do is always a form of prayer: "what we send out is sent us back (Rhonda Dyrne: THE SECRET)." Our choice is an indication of mistrust or a lack of Faith.

In a world of great moral degeneration, there is an equally great need for assessment where the gross moral degeneration came from and what caused them. To me, only if we have saturated the probable answers to these questions can we help our people effectively and more accurately. That if Wisdom comes only from God, and we are a people of God – entrusted by His Only Son Jesus Christ, then we have to lead our people to understanding these very important matters.
It is only by appealing to our people’s reason and emotion that we can convince them to be a part of us and for what we believe in. But said advocacy must be done with utmost sincerity, credibility, and care. Integrity is an all-important aspect of a leader or a preacher. Let us begin asking ourselves if we are indeed in a right position of delivering the message before we even begin speaking. Or we will never get our message across, ever!

"Life is meant for friendships and service." Just like we are in our own family, father or mother tells us "do not do this, do not do that!" We ask why? They say: "because it’s wrong!" We ask further, what makes it wrong? We are told again: "it just is!" Or "shut up!" That is if we are lucky to get an answer, no matter how painful the answer maybe. Another scenario of a supposed home is the absence of the parent or both because of financial reasons. And another is the physical presence but emotional absence of the parent or the both of them (because some are. Let’s always face and accept the reality).

These are but some of the enumerable frightening unhealthy scenarios of a "house but not a home". Ignorance is the main culprit to each of these painful eventualities in a supposed home of every family. Because of ignorance, friendship in the home is usually absent. As a result, isn’t it but normal for service to be absent, when friendship is not present? Both the parents and the children are hungry for answers.

Sad, but SIMPLY because they do not and can not find the answers (for lack of knowledge) in their own respective homes, they resort to endless EASY WAYS such as violence, threats, anger, or any form of rebellion (sex included) as an expression of frustration. Hopelessness is "killing" practically everyone!

Now tell me, is it any wonder why kids nowadays (or maybe even before) are running away, both literally and figuratively, from home? It is in the home where most kids begin to be wounded. Their being accustomed to "running away" made them "little boys and girls" forever, pretending to be men and women as they went through their supposed adult lives (Eric Berne: GAMES PEOPLE PLAY). They carried their wounds even in their growing up years. This is the psycho-dynamic of every man and woman (third sex included. Or if there be a fourth, fifth, and so on. Nobody is spared).

We are here to HEAL, to give HOPE. But how are we to effect healing if we are ourselves wounded yet, SIMPLY because we chose and continue to choose to be also ignorant?
Loveless "sex is one of the manifestations of emotional pain/s. (Gregory L. Jantz: HEALING THE SCARS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE)." The problem of population explosion (if they prefer to call it that) does not just happen without valid reason, and it did not happen overnight. The reason had been there right from the start – during the first fall of our humankind, and had been passed on since then. We all went through time ("…in our succession of life and death." Plato) without paying serious attention to it because we were cowed at looking deeply at our very self and getting out of our comfort zones. We settled in the comfort of mediocrity. Where and what gave us solace became our refuge. We forgot our God’s promise of eternity and of joy – which can be found also on earth. We doubted that, just like Him, we can be Holy. We gave in to the desires of our flesh because it’s SIMPLER and EASY to do so. We always succumb to the SIMPLE and EASY WAY OUT.

Loveless sex is nothing but LUST. It comes from a desire of the flesh, because there is something to forget. It is done to comfort the self. It is, therefore, a forsaking of the soul. Love involves peace, care, concern, truth, and respect. It always thinks of justice.

Only LOVE HEALS. When we have increased our knowledge through God’s Wisdom, we understand better and able to expand our capacity to love no matter. Eventually we settle in peace and tranquility (through the blessed gift of temperance) that God will take care of everything, even those that we consider the most difficult ones.

There couldn’t be any prayer better than asking "God to give us the serenity to accept the things that we can change, and accept those that we cannot change, and the Wisdom to know the difference." But this asking must also be coupled with a full awareness that the change must begin within our self (also called SELF-MASTERY), because it is almost nearly impossible to change anything and anybody outside of us. The change that we are seeking must begin inside of every one of us first and foremost. "The longest journey is the journey to the self."
Until then we will never be in any position to oppose. Love, and let it flow. Begin by loving, through knowing and accepting, your own self first. Rest assured that when you have done so, whatever you say and declare shall be accepted. And even if they are not accepted by others, "you will never feel rejected because you know that nobody can reject you.(Brian Weiss, M.D.: ONLY LOVE IS REAL)", for you have been "prepared for people to hate you for awhile. (Alan Loy McGinnis: THE FRIENDSHIP FACTOR)" The feeling of anger and frustration is far from a person who has self-mastery for he/she is guided by Jesus Christ’s compassionate words which says: "God, forgive them for they know not what they do."

The seven (7) energy centers (Gary Zukav: SEAT OF THE SOUL) speaks of the genitals as the first center, and the top of our head as the seventh. My personal reflection about this tells me that indiscriminate, unfaithful or loveless sex is a clear indication that the devil employs sex in his relentless attempt to be number one. And he (the devil) is achieving his goal through the SIMPLE-minded, wounded-people. The ill-effect of ignorance is indeed devastating!
The sixth energy center is situated in between the eyes or the center of the forehead which, to me, is associated with the mind. "An idle mind is the bastion of Satan." And number 6 is associated as the devil’s number (this explains why more and more people are turning to psychologists or psychiatrists for help). Compare that to the seventh center which is God’s number, and therefore, the perfect number. Thinking is not the only answer. We must pray! God is the answer that we must "lift everything up to God. "

Energy is what makes a matter moves. In human beings, our soul is what makes us alive. It is the energy of the physical body. If our soul departs from our body, we will be dead. Constantly giving in to the desires of our body is taking the soul for granted. This makes us living dead.
The fight is between the body and the soul. I maybe wrong, but to me this suggests that this definitely goes the same way with the controversy that we are facing today regarding the RH Bill. The government authorities are taking into account what they SIMPLISTICALLY think is for the good of the body (physical); while the Church authorities must face the concerns of those that are good for the soul (abstract).

As can be easily observed, the intervention for the physical is SIMPLE compared to the intervention that must be carried out for the good of the soul. The work at hand for the Church is COMPLICATED (as there are yet so many things to be aware of concerning the nature of man/woman that must be included in the advocacy) that it must be planned and implemented patiently, painstakingly, and thoroughly with utmost care, love, respect, and understanding, for human beings are complex beings – beings of physical and soul, both of evil and good. If I may remind you with all due respect, we are told and are expected always to GO BEYOND MEDIOCRITY, beyond being SIMPLE.

The road for those working for the good of the soul is both narrow and long. We have to remember that our people had/have been walking along the path of narrow-mindedness so long, that we have to carry the burden. If we are here to help one another as moral guardians, then we have to sacrifice. SACRIFICE, as we know, is the ULTIMATE WAY to help our people find themselves and gain their eternal freedom. Jesus showed us that. It is not by sheer coincidence ("there are no coincidences or accidents in life." St. Rita) that we remember His Sacrifices as we celebrate the Lenten Season. "…the greatest must be a Servant."

"Spiritual maturity is a balance between reason and emotion." Thinking alone, as can be seen clearly now, will never accomplish the job; but neither LOVING SIMPLISTICALLY also. Applied loving has to be done on a case-to-case basis because "no two persons are exactly alike". Each one is a unique individual. And each transaction is never the same every time. That is why there is a great importance for each of us to know the difference between "sweet and tough loving". This is but another proof how human beings have become complicated over very long period of time. This means to say then that, we must double our time and effort to gain enough knowledge, thereby widen our horizons, if we are truly sincere to help our brethren.
LOVE CORRECTS, but the strategy will be either or both appealing and distasteful. In handling humans we must put extra care, love, respect and understanding in order to penetrate the heart and mind of every living soul. Moral guardians, therefore, must learn and unlearn so much if they wish to carry on with their duty, lest they get weary. The complexity of man makes our task even more burdensome. But we cannot afford to surrender. We are made to attack the evils of our society, in the most sensible way.

Love, pray, and continue to open the minds of our brethren by opening your minds to the greater or endless possibilities because "knowledge can only flow to the open minds. And learning is more important than judgment. (Brian L. Weiss, M.D.: ONLY LOVE IS REAL)". Our greatest consolation is in knowing that: our burden is light, compared to Jesus Christ’s Cross, which is even made lighter by God’s grace in our complete surrender to do His Will.
Only Jesus Christ has been sent to save the world. We are made for purposes of loving and helping one another. "We are here to build bridges rather than walls. (John Powell: I LOVE YOU JUST BECAUSE)" We are to "love our enemy". Yes, it maybe that whatever we do will always fall short because we are mere followers of Jesus. We are but His "second-rate, trying-hard copycats". But we must give and do our best. At least we did our job in a most peaceful and loving manner, as we are all brothers and sisters in one big family of God.


My ardent prayers everyone!


[Written this 8th day of May, in the year of our Risen-Lord, 2011.]

LOVE: THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE OF THE SOUL

On the 27th of January 2011 we found ourselves visited by a foreigner client which is not unusual in our office. He is one of those visitors in our land who cry foul for an alleged injustice done them by their Filipino/Filipina spouse or partner. He is a father-complainant and vowed to be just after the welfare of a kid between them, as is always the case. What most intrigued me and caught my interest was his declaration of his being a “universalist”.

My personal definition of a Universalist is, he/she is a person who is not bounded by any belief system. Radically, a person of this kind is called an iconoclast. Judging from the initial and very raw information I got from my officemates who conducted the research-interviews, I could already see the BIG difference between me and him (as I am also a self-declared Universalist). What is our big difference? It’s SELF-MASTERY!

I truly feel every pain he is feeling as I am also a parent. His problem is his inability to see things clearly and objectively because he chooses to be consistently bounded by his “fear of the unknown”. He is so overpowered by his anxiety of what the future may bring to his only child. For a self-confessed womanizer, this resulting fear is normal to happen because paranoia is but a natural effect of neurosis.

In my personal choice of religion there is a line that goes during the Doxology in the Holy Eucharist: “…keep us away from sin and protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope…”. This line I so appreciate despite the words that follow because wala naman kasi talagang perfect sa world na ito eh. If this world is perfect, then, imperfect as we are, we are not fit to live here. It is, for me, enough to believe in Jesus’ words: “do not worry.”

I believe that when Jesus Christ redeemed us by His precious blood, we have been cleansed of every sin. We became pure again. And during His resurrection when He promised to be in each one of us, He is indeed, through the Holy Spirit. He has to verbalize the Promise because He knows how easily we yield to temptations, so we commit sins. He has to stay in our heart because, humans as we are, our mind is easy to corrupt. So that it is really all up to each one of us to save our self every time we fall to temptation, thus, because He is just there inside of us, our every heart, waiting for us to be recognized. This is my simple understanding of “…the coming of our Savior.” (aside from, of course, Jesus’ BIG COMING BACK!) It is always by choice that we save our self and rise up again. Our continuous resolve is to always better the next time…or else we become bitter. Joke!

A universalist whose Faith is shaken by his own thoughts is in grave danger – of death (kaya grave). When we trust our own self as our source to solving the problem that bothers us, it is an indirect suicide – we kill our spirit little by little by so doing. What’s worse, we involve others in the plunge.

There is a lot to understand about our own self first. Without self-mastery, it is impossible for us to clear up our mind, see things at a vantage point, understand others, find peace and tranquility, and attain flexibility to be able to adapt effectively to life and living. For sometime we, my close friends and I, had a joke regarding people who thought for themselves as “very self-reliant” people: “ta, patay, diri maiha magbabalyo gud iton ngaran – diri ngani Brenda, Manda (referring to “brain damage” or off to “Mandaluyong”, where the National Mental Institute is located, respectively)!” Maybe even, God Forbid, the worst case scenario recently – that of Gen. Angelo Reyes’ suicide. God bless his soul!

It is very important, a MUST in fact, that we gain self-mastery if we claim to love our self. To love our own self is to take care of our own soul. We must choose the soul our priority over the body because only then can we understand what and how it is truly to love.

The yearning of the soul is always to Love – or to God – because He created us out of His Love for us (kaya Siya ang source of all good). That is why it is very important to emphasize in our belief system that “God is Love”. It is through the reclaiming of the soul where we can see and regard one another as souls, not mere flesh, and thus, need to be respected and yes, loved.

If we go back to our discussion of the anthropologist, Ms. Fisher, who found out and discussed the reasons in her book WHY WE LOVE, nowhere can we find love in our neuro-chemical triggers that are causing the hormonal secretion for our alleged “loving”. She made mention that humans have lust, romance, and attachment – these, we interpreted as “love”. These findings are very clear indications that Love is really situated in our heart – where Jesus is waiting. The great confusion is precisely the effect of our mediocrity, our simplistic thinking. So the price we pay for the great confusion is also great – to the grave gud!

In Jesus we are made to understand by God about His power. Our search for power is ended by it. Through it we finally settle in humility, having seen and understood much the mysteries of life on earth. We give up the things that do not really matter in the realization that it is only Love that matters after all. Unless we have done that, however we claim to be universalists, nobody will understand what we mean when we say the word because we do not understand it our self. We have to live what we say. It is only by so doing that we can get our message across.

Cultural differences are clear indications of our separation or division as brothers and sisters in one big family of God. If they say that both religion and politics are the reasons of the warring of the world, then we must resolve it by both: going beyond religion and; redirecting our resolve by adopting that “the political is personal” (Gloria Steinem, REVOLUTION FROM WITHIN). Howard Gardner’s MULTIPLE INTELLIGENCES also made mention about the importance of that, when he mentioned about personal relationships, both intrapersonal and interpersonal.
The avoidance of confronting our personal issues always leads us eventually to unhappiness and failure because wherever we are led by our destiny we will not escape to be with others. We will always co-exist, as we are made for one another.

I had been smitten by the study and findings of Dr. Brian Weiss about reincarnation. I am not at all, however, disregarding my old concept of hell, as I still question the destiny of the souls of the people who se mortal sins have not been truly repented before death. For this reason, I am really dying to read and gather more information about it – reincarnation. The way I see things right now, I am convinced that the idea that “we live in circles” goes up and down, meaning, both in this world and the metaphysical world. We live; we die; we live again; we die again and; on and on the cycle keeps repeating, only because we refuse to learn our lessons. So, the big question is: when are we finally going to learn?

Maybe then, the best intervention to be able to really help is to teach people the need to be good. However mediocre our intervention maybe, at least, we gave or did our best. Receptivity is difficult to capture, usually because of pride, that without it we can never get to the bottom of the real problem.

“Life is difficult.” goes the opening salvo of one of Dr. M. Scott Peck’s THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED trilogy. When my seminarian son went, to take up his pre-college study, in a “far-away-from-home” the first time, his home-sickness was so overpowering that I had to remind him that, if he has to follow Jesus Christ – as His disciple – then he has to also be like Him – a citizen of the world!

Emotionality is one of the evil forces’ ploys to get us to join them. It is merely in our head. It stems from our insecurity that was caused by losing our trust usually when we were kids (at least for the majority. Me? I was broken hard emotionally at age 17). And there are numerous varying reasons why we lose our trust and confidence. We need to find out our uniqueness for us to find out how to hit the right target.

Og Mandino (THE GREATEST SALESMAN IN THE WORLD Part II) tells us that “we each have our own curriculum to follow.” Unlike in school, where there is a different set of curriculum for every particular course to be followed by the student-enrollees, life does not offer the same. My curriculum is distinctly designed for me alone, and yours is yours. This applies for each of us. That is why we need to re-parent our own self. Check everything out starting from the earliest memories. It is by re-parenting our self that we can take hold back again our happy childhood, despite whatever age we are in at the moment. To re-parent our self is to repair what went wrong, by understanding and accepting that “we need to be broken to become whole again”. Remember, education is life itself (John Dewey); but there is a great need to add spirituality to it to make it a “true education” (Ellen Gould White: EDUCATION).

With that, let me end this by quoting Jesus Christ – the true Teacher: “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” (The Gnostic Gospels)

Hanggang sa susunod… kitakits! Happy hearts’ day! God bless everyone!

LOVE IS A DECISON (But why lonely?)

Two months following the change of administration I was assigned in another office. This is one of the normal occurence when working in a government institution. But I am pleased, happy - is more like it, with the way things are because I finally found out that indeed WE ALWAYS BLOOM WHERE WE ARE PLANTED. (Of course, you know what I meant by saying that. Medyo matagal na rin naman kasi tayo'ng magkasama. Ka-dimalas man daw kon ngada yana diri pa ak niyo kilala.) [We've been with each other for quite a time already, it'd be strange if you don't know me by now.]


In this new office I chanced upon an officemate who, after our sort of slight argumentation, reminded me that "love is a decision" because he seemed to be in an "I-cannot-believe-you" state following my freezing cold answer regarding this shitty (pardon my word, please) "getting-back together just because you are husband and wife" thing. That is the biggest problem with people! They cannot leave other people with their own belief system. Akala nila sila lang ang marunong mag-isip. [They assume they're the only ones who know how to think!]

Later that week, I learned from his previous classmate, who is still close friends with him, that he and his wife frequently fight in a not so fashionable (aw, fashionable na ada yana. Hehe) manner - domestic violence kuno an tawag siton.

So, i thought of his reminder: "Love is a decision." I was for many times tempted to throw - "spit" siguro an mas naangay nga pulong - (Diyos ko, pasayloa ako!) back the reminder to him. But judging from the feedback I got from his long-time officemates, I decided it best to keep quiet.

As a point of reflection, I thought that maybe most of the people who remain in a sorry state remain that way up until now because they are proud to admit that they made a mistake when they made their decision.


I just finished reading the book PROPHECIES FOR THE NEW MILLENIUM by Elizabeth Clare Prophet. It spoke of love and brotherhood (generic)through self-mastery. Self-mastery to me is equated to Jesus' words in the Holy Bible: Seek first the Kingdom of God, without failing to notice that the Kingdom Jesus is referring to is our-self (the Kingdom in Heaven will come in His appointed time), following His Promise that He will be in each one of us.

Friends, check it out and be honest to yourself, maybe you, too, will see that what is causing your problem is that, "the decision to love" you made was done when you did not know what really love is all about.

But THERE IS HOPE, SO MUCH HOPE that you must just stay where you are. For as long as your current situation is not life threatening or you're not disobeying God's commandments, despite discomfort all of those uncomfortable feelings will soon banish and change forever if you just keep holding on to God. You see, acceptance is a first step to changing that what you would like to be changed. It is indeed only the TRUTH that shall set you free. The truth that you made mistake then; a mistake that you would like to correct now but that correction can only be made possible by God's healing grace.

Friends, if we are to live as brothers (and sisters) in Christ, we must all live under Grace. And it is very, very important to heal first before grace can be bestowed upon us. Dapat magsimula muna sa bawat isa sa atin ang pagbabago. Stay away from complaining, it won't get you anywhere. Begin the habit of loving until you have mastered it, for everything begins with the decision to start a good habit. Don't go mastering that which does not count for the salvation of your soul.

Remember: Our final destination is to be with God. If GOD IS LOVE, and He created us because He loves us, then we must also love (in its truest, purest sense) because it is the only means to be happy.

Hugs and kisses to you all! I LOVE YOU FOREVER! God bless!

FATHER II

This Sunday, 20th of June 2010, we are to celebrate again Father’s Day. I miss the men of my life – my fathers!

By God’s grace, my seminarian son successfully finished his baccalaureate degree in Philosophy in a formation house located “upstairs” (that’s how we call it as our house is situated by the seminary’s foothill). A few months before graduation though he already told me he may not immediately go into Theology for two (2) reasons: first, he acknowledged that he needs to develop his public speaking and might decide to teach even just for a year therefore; and he wishes to further his formation in an institution that also teaches “Psychology in depth” (whatever he meant by that).

Yes, I was also surprised to know that there are still institutions that do not believe teaching seriously the science of human behavior can help. My nostalgic feeling associated with Father’s Day led me to think to probably find out if this has relation to the crisis faced by the clergy today (or is it only today ba?).

Just this morning before I wrote this, my officemates and friends told me my son made the right decision, after them telling me their sad, disappointing stories about some seminarians, or priests or pastors or lay ministers or nuns or the exes of them – meaning, an mga nag-quit na. Susko, Ginoo! In other words they are very downright frustrated why the supposed people who are “very near” God turned out more evil than those who are not. Reminds me of an ex-nun friend who exclaimed, right after getting out of a monastery: “kon makasasala didi sa gawas; mas makasasala sa sulod.” Bitter? Pinsar ko, because it is better I kept it to myself in order for us to remain friends.

Honestly? The psycho dynamic of man/woman is quite simple. And it applies for practically everybody. The main difference is our uniqueness because, as has been said, no two (2) individuals are exactly alike. The big problem is cowardice because of pride – the mother of all sins. So, the majority of us remain living dead – unaware of even his/her very self.

After reading Fr. Jocis Syquia’s EXORCISM, I fully understood the psychic world and the evil spirits’ unrelenting strategies to put off intending people’s pursuit to help evangelize for God’s greater glory by following Jesus Christ – the God-Man. And I had no iota of doubt about everything Fr. Jocis’ presentation of facts in his book. It is a very interesting book, a must-read. Thank you, Father!

Human language speaks differently, however. But yes, they are very closely connected. I read somewhere sometime: every inch of this world is claimed by God, and counterclaimed by Satan. To win the war as a child of God, we need only to straighten up and face our enemy: our very self! This has to be taken care of before we are unconsciously defeated by Satan who hides in our individual passions – money, sex, food, position, etc. The war is presented in either or all of these wrong passions versus the passion of the Christ.

I do not know if I am correct, but judging from my personal inventory psychology is the missing link to deeply understand our self, which self-understanding will eventually lead us in turn to understand others. Life teaches. We greatly learn hands-on, through our experiences. Most often though we choose to stay on what we consider the “safe side”. This is caused by our neurosis (please refer to my old articles). This neurotic lifestyle, manifested in our addictions to whatever our wrong passions are, crucified us by making our lives or living difficult. Kaya sabi ko awhile ago, living dead tayo – dead men/women living!

Balance is the way to find Heaven of Earth. Sa proseso daw na pagdaraanan para maging ministro o pastor o pari (however they are called) the great part is spent in learning about God. But because my understanding of God is very simple, that He is Love, I find the process (if it is true at all) rather difficult to reconcile.

Fact is, kung ang God very simple, tayo’ng mga nilalang N’ya ang opposite. Sabi nga, human being is a complex being. But what is it exactly that makes us complicated? To find the answer we need to search. But in searching we need to consult (in the words of Jesus Christ: confess your sins to one another). Dito dapat papasok ang humility dahil sabi nga, ”two (2) heads are better than one.”

Thing is, no one can be a jack of all trades. Our wish o kahit na dream of becoming so makes us one day realize that we became pala masters of none. That is why we need the help of others. This is the reason why we greatly need to heal. You see, we are sent back here on earth to learn what must be learned. And it is impossible to learn without getting healed first. When there is something that pains us, siempre pa, it’s difficult to focus, ‘di ba?

We need to see and submit to authorities experts on these matters, of healing (to explain to us the why's – the personal questions very unique in our life – to understand because when there are things/matters we do not clearly understand we will find it difficult what is there to repent about because many things are hidden to us by our pride. This is the first step. After this we ask to God for His mercy to grant us our need to be healed, for it is only when we are truly healed that psychosomatic unity happens. Until then we remain sick, with the affliction called “psychosomatic illness”. The big question is: kaya kaya natin ‘yan, lalo na kung nasa posisyong tinitingala na tayo ng tao at ini-enjoy na natin ang mga akala nating tunay na karangyaan o “entitlement” na kasabay nito?

The decision to remain an average/mediocre human being is a decision to remain in pride, thus, to decide na bumaba or be humble ay lubha’ng magiging mahirap, that without God’s help is impossible to do. That is why we need badly God’s help to arrive at this point. It is only in His Grace that we can be beyond human or superhuman, for that matter.

People, if they wish to serve the real God which is in Jesus Christ, need a strong psycho-spiritual foundation. There must, therefore, be a strong balance in studying both the God and the man (we) because we are both God and man. That is what Jesus came here for when He said: “I will be in each and every one of you.” It will be when He is already in us that we become superhuman. This is then the “point of no return” to the temptations of this world because we are already under the Law of Grace (Confraternity of Blood: MY WAY OF LIFE).

The way I look at things, I think it would be better to do the right thing early on while they – religious students – are yet in the formation process. Maybe the medical doctors’ advice, prevention is better than cure, can also apply here? What do you think, dear Fathers?

See you when I see you, friends…HAPPY FATHERS’ DAY, mga tatay, papa, daddy, ug iba pa! Salamat san pagpanginano san iyo tagsa nga pamilya. We pray for you. God bless you and everyone.

SEX EDUCATION: A SOLUTION OR DESTRUCTION?

I was horribly taken aback by the proposal of Sec. Cabral to introduce sex education in the kindergarten level (the very onset of their learning to mingle with others outside of the confines of their home)! Very much like the standpoint of the Catholic Church I am, of course, so opposed to it. I pray so hard to God the Secretary (of DSWD?) gains back her sanity so she could think more clearly regarding the issue at hand.

Sex is an erroneous translation of what love is. The error comes from a person’s emotional scars where the actual wound/s is/are kept inside. His/her emotional wound/s tells him/her to search for power, usually through sex, to somehow forget the pain associated with his/her wound/s. Sex then becomes a power play between individuals who commit it. This is exactly the reason why fornication is a grave offense.

To simply educate our young according to the scientific explanation of how a human being is formed is directly or indirectly awakening their curiosity. Sec. Cabral’s proposal is an irresponsible move because by so doing we will rob the little children of their innocence. Children are normally curious because of their hunger for knowledge. And isn’t it that curiosity kills a cat? How many “cats” do we have in that level? To introduce to them sex education is therefore, to me, a social injustice emanating not only from ignorance but mostly from lack of prudence.

There is a great need for children to remain children while they are. "Hayaan natin silang maglaro habang sila ay bata" (Apo Hiking Society). They must enjoy their childhood fully to contain their need of playfulness. If they are not, there will be strong tendencies for them to find the time to play when they are no longer kids. Baka maging mapagbigay sila sa ibang bagay at mauwi ang lahat sa paglalaro ng apoy. Joke! Pero ‘di nga ba’t ganyan ang mga nangyayari ngayon? Tanong ko lang: sa ganito din kaya nagsimula ang Sodom at Gomorra? Naiba lang nga kaya ang bersyon natin ngayon pero doon din tayo patungo? Diyos ko, ipag-adya Mo po kami!

Seriously however, I know personally the pain associated with losing this supposed playtime stage because by some misfortune or fate I was “thrust into adulthood too early and denied childhood along the way” (Gregory L. Jantz, Ph. D., HEALING THE SCARS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE). (Amin naman kam… diri man ak nanunukmat. Nahaharampangan la. Hehehe)

Time and time again we are reminded to go back to the basics of life – the basic truths: that God is love; that we are His creatures and He created us in His own image and likeness; and that we are here to love one another because the ultimate mission of our soul is to love. But because we do not like to take seriously the concerns of our soul due to the numerous demands of our flesh we fail to look at, consider more closely and understand in depth what the intricacies of love are.

Be that as it may, my point is, maybe it will work more effectively if instead of teaching our young sex education it will help more appropriately if we teach them na la the basics that are a must to living and/or leading fulfilled lives so we can live peacefully in this world with one another? Say for example, we introduce teaching them back the virtues of generosity, prudence, justice, temperance, and fortitude, kasabay ng nurturance that they may grow up as prayerful people.

Malay natin, by so doing we can hit two birds with one stone. Di nga ba’t sa habit formation nagsisimula ang lahat? If we do our best nga daw, God will do the rest. At ‘nga pala, ang teaching po sinasamahan po ‘yan ng matinding-matinding modeling para umepekto po. Credility is a great part of teaching, what I mean is.

Makakabaraka uraura to the max when people placed in strategic positions decide insensibly, on matters very delicate or sensitive, with utmost insensitivity. It is along this that I ask the Sick, (Ohwow! SORRY po, pero ganyan talaga tayo unless we call upon God to heal us, we remain sick kaya mali-mali ang mga desisyon at pananaw natin sa buhay), Sec. pala: is that decision of yours coming from your grossly failing to inculcate these virtues when you were growing up, na tumuloy-tuloy na in your adulthood? Nagtatanong lang po…’sensya na…

Every time I see or encounter old and supposed-to-be responsible people of this kind, I am always reminded how resentful I was, then, for the mess I’ve done with my young life all because there was no responsible adult to guide me on my way to adulthood (it was a relief though I was loved despite being messy). Until I reached the point where I realized that the blame game will also lead me nowhere did I stop being resentful. You see, we are the only ones responsible for our own lives. There is such a thing as “accountability age”. It is supposed to be our first taste of independence, and maybe the beginning of God’s time. Although I do not exactly know when is it coming. It varies. Depende san kada tagsa sa aton. Our intuition tells us.

With the spiritual strength I have gained as a “sinner saved by grace” (OUR DAILY BREAD; June 9), I am able to accept most of what happened and what are happening, and maybe even those that are yet to happen. But the fact remains the same that it is always frustrating when people in authority become the authors to the un-fateful events. (Sigh.)

Here’s hoping that we will have the same prayers to intend for the sake of our young in the hands of Sec. Cabral and the like-minded people na nasa pwesto. Let us pray collectively that the Heavens may grant our wish for the children who are “the HOPE of our motherland”. (Sigh, na liwat).

God bless His little angels! Love you, friends…!

LOVE IS… (LOVE IS NOT…)

Greetings of peace and every blessing, friends!

The “Mary-month” of May is something very special to me for some personal reason and because it is when mother’s day is celebrated. Rightly enough mother’s day must be celebrated in accordance with our wholehearted devotion and respect for Mother Mary as she alone is the perfect mother worth of emulation.

After reading the book, Many Lives-Many Masters, I thought it unfortunate and unwise that the reincarnation thing was decided to be deleted (see previous article), until one day I saw a documentary on child pornography happening particularly in the third world countries. I felt saddest-to-the-bone when a young girl-victim was asked what she was currently doing after what happened to her. Her reply was: I am waiting for my next life.

“IGNORANCE is man’s greatest enemy.” (Contrary to what I read some time ago, it is not what saves us) – I was surprised when I read this in my son’s little book, My Way of Life, which according to him is the summary of Summa Theologica of St. Thomas Aquinas. My orientation based on my foundation of study informed me that fear is supposed to be our greatest enemy. Now, more than ever, I am greatly convinced it is ignorance (and I also believe that it is closely followed by both fear and desire. Thank you, St. Thomas!).

I do not exactly know, but it is my observation that the biggest burden in raising children in the midst of the numerous pressing demands that we are facing in this modern world is placed generally on the mothers. First of all, it is because of our natural nurturing attribute. Second of all, we have been given the gift of understanding which makes us a little more patient (especially with our kids) than our male counterpart. And last, because of our downright attitude of forthrightness. There are actually countless of traits that make us effective and affective leaders in our field as parent to our children, but these are foremost of those. So, CONGRATULATIONS MAMAS, MOMMIES, NANAYS (or however you are sweetly called by your good children)!

But don’t get carried away just as yet. I am not yet done. Let me go back to that poor innocent young girl-pornography victim I mentioned earlier. As it is every parent’s dream and intention to raise his/her child/children the best that they can be, we must then be equipped with the best tool/s to be able to do so.

Both my observation and experience tell me that even if all of us are endowed with the gift of knowledge (no matter the process of attainment – school based or out of it), if we have not been given the gift of wisdom, which only comes from God, we are bound for failure. Our human interpretation of any information will always fall short. And this is the saddest part of it. Maybe it was on the same mind frame then when Constantine’s mother, Helena, suggested for the deletion of the idea of reincarnation.

Everything in this world can be changed (at the very least for the good, if not yet for the better) through prayers, for everything comes from Him and of Him. The problem is we do not have enough Faith, or if we have, it is weak. Our weakness of Faith comes from our confusion because we fail to search for the right knowledge. We are largely a “giver-upper” (aw, asya ba?), sige “quitter” na la. And if I may add, we are also both narrow-minded and short-minded people. That is why we are naturally resistant to change. We choose to deny or reject to expand our horizon instead of open up to its great possibilities as God’s present/gift in His great love for us.

Despite the practicality of the idea of reincarnation, it is not (and never will be!) a simple lesson to teach or hand down to the young generation/s if it is simply understood in very human terms. Doing this is like giving them false hope. There is so much explanation that must come with it, if we are truly responsible elders.

Reincarnation is a larger or higher scope of what we call “vicious cycle”. And if we really and honestly care enough for the young we surely would not like them to suffer the ever- increasing sufferings that go along with the so-called climate change caused by our disrespect for mother Earth. Kasi palala lang nang palala ang ating tinatawag na environmental destruction despite positive interventions. And climate change is only one of the innumerable sufferings attached to live a lifetime. Madami’ng-madami po ‘yan. Kaya nga sinabi ko in one of my previous articles: “kung mahirap na nga ang mabuhay ngayon, papano pa kaya bukas (referring to another lifetime)?”

Our indoctrination of our children certain pieces of truth is a mediocrity, and in a greater degree, irresponsibility! Lessons must begin with the ultimate truth so that the ultimate end will be reached. For the ultimate end is also the ultimate truth. Remember the Alpha and the Omega?

Wala talaga’ng exact formula to ensure success in raising a child, all we can do is be the best that we can be, give the best that we can give, and through unceasing prayers in trusting our God, just HOPE for the best! Besides, success is very relative. This is what makes matters worse, in truth and in fact. Given these, in our love for our children maybe what is enough for us to do is raise them in balance between perpetuation and frustration. Androgyny is imperative to be able to this. So, I wish for you the best.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all of the dearest mothers out there! Long live! God bless everyone…!