Just like the majority of us, I am one of those who were and are still greatly offended by the great controversy regarding the latest fad involving gays and lesbians. This is not to say that I am condemning them. Never! I have tried so hard to understand things especially people and their accompanying behavior that I practically and wholeheartedly came to love them no matter, knowing perfectly well the difference between loving and liking.
Let me begin by telling you, dear friends, that since my high school days my first ever good friend was a gay. I was then in an identity crisis like him, enough reason for us to attract each other. He was very dear to me that news about his death (he was my classmate and he died when I was barely in my first year of college) not only came to me as a surprise but it really made me so sad. I cried. Just like many of them, his self-inflicted death (because it was not really intended as a suicide) was due to un-acceptance by his own family. Up until now, I am still good friends with many gays and lesbians. I find it even more openly comfortable now being friends with them because of my wider understanding about their probable behavioral beginnings.
When news broke out though, about the ceremonial wedding of their kind (same sex), I was devastated by their personal decisions to be, but more by the supposed authorities who wedded them. A graduate of Psychology, I later enrolled and took up Guidance and Counseling as my major subject for a master’s degree (but has not been able to write my thesis yet), mainly intending to help people understand people. But no matter how elaborate I make or expand my personal understanding (by reading books of substance also) I will remain to be affected by the transgressions my brethren make. Yes, I do clearly understand that calling every little mistake a sin will only make matters worse rather then help a person grow up. But neither can letting them absolutely be also!
“Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” These were words of wisdom uttered by I forgot who already, but because these are powerful words for change, I do not ever forget. The problem I see with people in authority whose moral backgrounds remain unchecked until they rose to power is their hastiness to implement action disregarding the gravity that it will cause to the society as a whole.
“Transformation is a nature of every human being, and the Universe it self. (Deepak Chopra)” But the transformation that is happening over periods of time, maybe especially now, is for the worse. And I can see very clearly also that our Godless mentality is a prime factor for this negative transformation. Now it is easy for me to understand why in the progression sessions of Dr. Brian Weiss (because his practice has already evolved), some of his patients are allegedly seeing or actually being in a world where the inhabitants are greatly minimized.
One of my son’s favorite lines is from Abraham Lincoln, which he posted one time in his Facebook account states: “Everyone can withstand difficulty; but if you want to test a man’s character give him power.” A person cannot develop a strong character nowadays because he has not been made to get emotionally strong but is kept being shielded by the parents (biological or surrogate) from emotional trials in his growing up. That is one of the possible reasons. Another can perhaps be because he was trained to deal with his emotionality by himself – the reason for his emotional suppression or repression. Then and now our society’s resolve is to keep experimenting – as if people are mere guinea pigs.
Anatomically speaking, for the longest time already marriage has been an emotional co-dependency, and nothing else (your violent reaction is most welcome), same sex or not! And it has been translated into where sex can be done without limits, thus feel no guilt about it whatsoever. The union is made “legal” for such purpose alone. It’s as if the marriage will erase the burden of the reality of conscience, the God within us.
God made only two (2) sexes as a matter of fact: a man and a woman. The other resulting sexes are man-made (or human-made). They are a result of our discrimination out of ignorance and our disobedience. The effect of the injustices we made. And as if our stubbornness is not enough yet, some misguided or blind authorities of their church went further down the ditch by conforming and tying the knot. They pinned our brethren down to their mistakes. They bound them to hell. “A blind leading a blind.”, matter of fact. Hindi kelan man magiging tama ang mali ng isa pang mali.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change; to change the things that I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.” Our being born with the gender that we are is one of God-given features that we need to accept. Our life’s events (archaic), nor that of our ancestors’ (archetype) must have nothing to do with it. Our sex urges or sexual preference/s must be tightly anchored to our reality. There can never be a justification for a sin against God. If we begin to reject our own self or the God in us, then it is but rightful for us to be rejected eventually. God can only be present in a person who accepts. Let’s begin our self-introspection with our reality.
Carl Gustav Jung’s archaic and archetype form of energies must be understood as things that we can change because they are both outside us. No matter the difficulty, emotional especially, we can change them with our determination and with God’s power of mercy and grace. It is not that we cannot find happiness if we are alone or without a partner. We definitely can, because God made us complete since birth. It is our sins that ruined our completeness. And we became sinful because of our ignorance. Satan took advantage of that ignorance to drive us nuts some more by instilling in us fear. It is fear that brought us insecurity. So, man has to resort even to the most perverted scheme to attain happiness and security. “My will be done.” God forgive them…!
Unless we decide to put order into our lives by bringing God back again, we can neither find peace nor sustain our happiness. We need to co-operate with our God. We need to always look up to not lose our way. Our mission here for our self is independence, to be complete. Our reality is, “we came here alone, we will leave here also alone. (Mary Latella: HEALING THE FAMILY)” Independence can only happen when there is complete dependence with our God. Until then there will be no sincere interdependence with one another. Personal motives will abound and injustices will continue. At magiging pakonti nang pakonti na nga ang tao sa mundong ito, marahil dahil na nga talaga sa sinasabi nilang, “survival of the fittest”. Father, Your Will be done.
It is my prayer for you not to misjudge me by thinking that it is easy for me to say the things that I am saying because I had been alone for some time now and that I am a woman. No, I beg your pardon. Certainly there is no such thing as gender-differences, and of course, age does not matter. What you find difficult, have been difficult also for me. Tao din po ako, at ‘di ako naiiba sa inyo. But I deal with my issues accordingly by living each moment at a time. And I try to balance my thinking before I go and make a decision, always abiding by God’s Will for me. It is in that sense that I am in no way any different from you because, we were given the same greatest gift of the power of the mind. The differences that were instilled in our mind frames came from power-search, a “conspiracy theory”. For a patriarchal society that is the Philippines, these differences are numerous and as well, outrageous!
But I have no room for outrage anymore. Rather all I have is for forgiveness and understanding. These are the good effects of acceptance, change, and my constant asking for God’s Wisdom. It is only that, I needed to write what I have in my mind to leave space for those that will be coming more. God has infinite Wisdom that is needed for a man’s/woman’s mind to fill his/her heart, for it not to tire and lose the interest to love and give that love away.
The desire for sex (or I prefer to call it love-making because my belief system tells me that sex can only be beautiful in God’s time, at the right place, and between two GODly man and woman) comes from our hormones which hormones are secreted by what is called neuro-chemical triggers. This is just a repeat of what I have already made mentioned in the past regarding Susan Fisher’s theory reflected in her book, WHY WE LOVE. Testosterone is the hormone responsible for awakening the sexual urge. This is to say then that for as long as a person’s mental health is capable of producing testosterone, then he/she is capable of having sex. The problem that frequently results from indiscriminate or undisciplined sex is the habit that is formed along with it.
The dangerous attachment to the habit is that: along with age, testosterone triples its secretion that sexual experimentation is most often sought because only one or two partners of whatever gender cannot satisfy the sexual appetite anymore! I was shocked when I heard this in a British TV Channel, as a new scientific finding, where they featured men, specifically, who consented to be interviewed as living evidence. This does not, however, exclude women. But because this unfortunate eventuality mostly involves men, it is but fitting to feature men. Some women who suffer from the resulting consequence we can probably refer to as, exception to the rule. The ill-effect of loveless sex, and pity the people who are buried in it!
Boys, for as long as you are stuck in your simple-mindedness, that boys will always think of and have sex, because you prefer to stay that way, then I can just pray for you. And girls, for as long as you do not change your mind set, that your best power to hold and capture a partner is through sex, because you also prefer to be that way, then you will also get stuck and just like your “bitter half” you will fail to become a woman of grace. So it is then, siring pa, “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” Mag-gamitan kayo. You deserve each other anyways. This is in as far as sex is concerned – the logical side of our story.
Now, let me talk to you about patience and understanding: where boys are impatient with the seeming unreasonableness of women; and women are tired of the endless insensitivity of men. No one between them is willing to understand the other. And both are proud to get counsel from somewhere. Both of them want to rid of each other because it is easier and simple. As if each one has a ready replacement na parang spare parts lang – this is the relational side of the story.
Same sex marriage is a simple preference para mapadali ang buhay. “I don’t like you to bother me with your issues because I have issues of my own. We can live with less stress if we don’t discuss each other’s personal issues. I would like us to just have fun, in any way we can. No obligation must come alongside it. If that’s okay with you then let’s get set and go!” This is men’s logic instructing men.
On the other side women’s relational aspect dictates: “I am a little girl, in need of caress and longing to be cared for, that I need your time and attention to fill the void in. You must understand where I am coming from and must be always patient with me, if you can give me that then let’s get together.”
The problem with an imbalanced life is that it is not only impatient and short of understanding but it leads to chauvinism/inflated self-esteem and martyrdom/deflated self-esteem. Rather than take the difficult journey, whatever shorter and easier road to travel the way to happiness is taken – and in their short-sightedness, perversion is the only road there is!
The marriage that you and I need is a marriage between our own masculine and feminine characteristics (Gary Zukav); the friendship between our white and dark shadow (Fr. John Monborquette, OMI); the reconnection of our twin soul (Ted Andrews); the relationship between our Brother Sun - the symbol of wisdom, and our Sister Moon - the symbol of emotion (St. Francis and St. Clare of Assisi); and finding our androgyny – the balance between our left and right brain (Daniel Goleman). Always, these two (2) aspects of the self are allies in the battle against a common enemy: illusion (Deepak Chopra), for ONLY LOVE IS REAL (Jesus Christ). Only a complete person can give and love completely. Only a complete man and a complete woman can make imperfections perfect in a marriage because of their forbearance for each other’s imperfections.
In the end, I pray for those who decided to enter and commit themselves into the same sex marriage and I pray hardly more for their church authorities who made the MOCK MARRIAGE – a marriage of illusion. Can it be called a blasphemy? I am not much of a moralist actually, even if I sound like I am, that is why I need to ask. Whatever, my prayers for all of us remain.
“It is not by looking into the light that we become luminous, but by plunging into the darkness. However, this is often unpleasant work, and therefore, not very popular.” Carl Gustav Jung.
Think more seriously because most of the time the truth lies beneath the unpopularity of things.
See you another time, dear friends!
