IN THE LINE OF DUTY

     If you were able to read the last of what i wrote, this is a follow up to it. If you haven't, may i suggest you find a way to read it, but only if it arouses your interest. It is neither an imposition nor a pre-requisite anyways. It is merely to provide for an overall picture of understanding.

     So the meeting materialized despite my initial opposition because of my personal emphatic feeling towards the subject. In a democratic environment majority always rules. While personally i was set free of my prison (untold anger), and had to thank God for it, i prayerfully hoped for the subject to finally wake up to her reality and inch by inch decide to come out of her own prison as well in order to be released and find fulfillment. The choice is upon her. Not with anybody else. It's her life, not ours nor yours.

     Although as part of my initial reaction when the meeting was just set, i thought of keeping mum during the proceedings as i saw no valid reason for saying my piece. The truth to the matter is, all the issues that were supposedly raised by the "alleged complainant" were illogical and were completely non-issue office-wise. But i was forced, however, to talk/comment towards the end kay waray man gud intawon niya lung-i an amon labaw nga diri ak payaknon kay ako man gud an iya katuyuanan in the first place. Ug tungod kay nakita man liwat san amon labaw nga diri man gud matutunghan kon diri mapatungyuan an tag-reklamo, magyayakan gud ak basi la mahuman an amon harampang (miting). Mao ini an mga panahon nga akon kunta ginlilikyan (the first time i walked out. This is actually the second time of the test.), samtang pwede ko malikayan, kay diri ko unta karuyag makasakit sa akon igkasitawo, but i must, tungod kay narespeto ak san amon labaw.

     My prelude consisted of a review of the validity of my initial assessment in reaction to the complaints. But that because i also had to consider seriously that human being is both a rational and emotional creation i had to finally change my opinion. This is where i have to emphasize a lesson: that when a person's emotional side is taking over and wrecking havoc in his/her rational side nawawara an balanse siton nga tawo. Iton gud an dapat maintindihan san ngatanan sa aton. Sa pilosopiya san mga Griyego, utruhon ko, nga KNOW THYSELF o KILAL-A AN IMO KALUGARINGON, dapat maaram an kada tagsa sa aton nga ngatanan gud kit, nga normal an panhunahuna san katawo naton, ginhimo san aton Makagarahum nga perpekto an balanse. We were created in perfect balance. That it is when we have lost our balance, friends, that our life becomes difficult. And undoubtedly, to live a difficult life is to be a difficult person. That when it comes to a point where the difficulty seems unbearable, we unconsciously throw our weight around thus, making other people's lives (especially those in our immediate surroundings) difficult as well. However, maski nano pa kahalaba san pisi san pasensya mayda gud an ngatanan tubtuban. Pag ginbalik na sa aton an aton ginpaabat nga kakurian sini nga mga tawo sa aton palibot, nalalangot kit, nabibido, nasisina, o nauuba. Ngatanan na la pe-personalon ta. I have mentioned this in a not so long ago issue of our paper. Ug dugngan ko: We become paranoid and prejudiced over other people, so we put meaning to every action and every word we see or hear. Naghihinimo kit multo (unfounded biases) nga kita la liwat an mahahadlok.

     As for me, yes, i temporarily lost my balance consciously in ventilating my anger in that particular afternoon when i forcibly "opened my heart" kay kinahanglan ko anay asahan an diri kunta angay asahan, para la maipakita ko sa iya an epekto san akon mga ginhilom nga mga kabiduan kay diri ko karuyag magbinata-bata (irrational). Yana padayon an akon pag-ampo sin pagpasaylo. Apisar nga maaram ak nga makukurian gud ak, magpapadayon an akon paglaum. Everything is a process to undergo. Sumala san mga naglabay ko na nga mga kasakit ug diri maupay nga eksperyensya, this, too, will come to pass. Kaupod la an ngatanan san siring pa san akon nabasahan nga: "sometimes we have to muddle the present in order to better the future." Every little or big thing that happens in our life is in line of our duty to God and our brethren.

     See you, friends, when i see you again!

PERSONALITY CLASH

          Being part of an organization leaves us pretty much with either little or no choice at all. When, in the middle of our lunch break conversation in our office's division, our head of office came in and heard our topic she gamely joined us just like a mother would, especially when relationship of her "children" is what is at stake. As i consider everyone in my office also my family, i make sure spending time with them and obeying orders from my superiors in relation to what is expected of me and what i am there for.

 

          The topic of that moment was about the indifference of one of our "sisters" or co-workers, which really just started with our objective implementation assessment of her supposed livelihood project and what could have probably went wrong why it became a failure. Life is a mystery, but for some weeks now i had been sincerely asking God to give me the grace to forgive and only show mercy to this particular co-worker as i perfectly understand where she must be coming from. As it has always been to me though, when i want so hard to forgive it always does not come easy. Temptations of hatred out of an untold anger most often prevailed. So i always need to install the kind of anger management that effectively works for me - loving from a distance. It is one of my many manifestations of a tough love. It is when i treat a person as if s/he does not exist.! Every time  i impose that measure however, i say to myself: forgive me, Father!

 

          I am a sanguine-choleric. Being so, halaba gud uraura an akon pasensya labi na kay gintagan ak grasya sin pagsabot san akon igkasitawo. A sanguine personality is a forever-child who is spontaneous, sweet, and loving. But because my secondary personality is choleric i find difficulty in forgiving a person who constantly tests my patience by his/her crossing my boundaries every so often ug pag-umabot na ak san akon tubtuban ngan diri nareresolba an mga butang nga ginpaabat sa akon, makuri na gud ak maulian because i do not allow myself to be sweetly manipulated. I had been there so long, i sense people's motives right away.

 

           The subject that i am referring to in this article is a choleric-phlegmatic who has not yet checked her very self. As i have said before, choleric personalities are the most difficult to deal with. Dida ngani ada nagtikang an aton pamuyayaw nga "kolera!" ambot la. But going back, i am seriously offering you my unsolicited advise to follow the Greek philosophy: KNOW THYSELF. It is the ignorance of our very own self that we go wayward, lose the right track and hurt other people including our own self first. Maski nano pa niyo nga pagsinimba ug paglinuhod dida. Pwera la gaba because i have nothing against what you prefer doing kay to each his/her own man an kinabuhi.

 

          Rather than look at, scrutinize, and blame others for every bad feeling you are having simply because your life is not going where you want it to, kitaa anay an iyo kalugaringon! And please, don't label people. Remember that for every label that you attach unto them, you are disclosing what you actually are. Again, as i said before na naman: we are given away not only by what we do, but also by what we say. Ngatanan nabalik gud sa aton! Sanglit paminsar gud anay pirmi sin maupay basi diri ka makaligis kay kairo mo kon balikan ka.

          And GROW UP! Life is a choice and love is a decision. Kasumo pa siton. Kadamo na uraura san nahibatian ko nga mga dati ug mga padati-dati nga nagyiyinakan siton. Sige la sira yakan, diri man nakikita sa ira kiwa. Pag diri maupay an pamati kay waray mapatungyui san ira karuyag, madalagan kon kanay kay mapaugop. Josko, kapagal!!! They remained little children nga nagkadagko la an ihap san edad pero nagpabilin nga lumatod an panhunahuna. Unless a decision is made to finally grow up and face every problem in the eye, these people will never find love. They will just remain pathetic.

 

          When, by God's grace, you finally decide to grow up the very first thing you do is LEARN TO LISTEN. Brats are typically people who always just "want to be heard but will never listen". Although they will pretend they are listening they will not hear anything because they are very noisy inside. That is why when they feel like they are so pushed against the wall they also made up, their only option is run away. Hala, sige dalagan, dalagan gud! Kasabot nira nga an ira kontra iba nga tawo. They got so used to the pattern they created since they were little children. Because they thought it worked then, they continued to think it will work until now. Sanglit maski dapat ada na sira san sinisiring nga adult category they are observed to be little boys and little girls.        

          Ug take note, may bonus pa iton. They also like to compete, so they are disrespectful. Kay nano? KSP man sira. At bakit sila kulang sa pansin? Kasi nga po napakatagal na panahon nang di nila pinapansin ang sarili nila! Why is that so? Because they were kept busy, much too busy, in getting the attention of others. Phlegmatic personality are very nice to other people. They go to the extent of pleasing them for what ever personal reason or motive only they know. What they attend to mostly is their outer image. They forget that what is inside is what is most important.

          Back to our lunch break conversation with my office mates and our head of office, to cut the long story short, i had to go by the decision of the group to hold a meeting specific for the purpose because WE ARE A FAMILY after all. Ngan kaupod man ini san akon paghingyap ug paglaum sin kahimyang.

 

          Ciao, my friends. Hasta la Vista! 

ONE BILLION RISING

Today's topic i would have written for the preceding is­sue, right after the launching of 1 Billion Rising activity in Manila, spearheaded by the known stage actress Monique Wilson. Boy Abunda attended the said event upon personal invitation of Eve Ensler - activity originator and writer of the famous "Vagina Monologues". These known people are but few of those who intensely and extensively work for advocacy to end abuse or any violence against women and to hopefully empower them.

On behalf of all the victim­ized women, i am grateful for these above mentioned personalities for standing up for them and providing strength and courage where both (courage and strength) left them. The different backgrounds each of them have do not matter that much. What binds them together is the common purpose - raise the dignity of women - because even if the Philippines is already fortunate, in as far as the bill of rights for women, among the developing countries, abuses continue to predominate. As I said before, what is seen on official records is but the tip of an iceberg. Most women suf­fer in silence. And they are them whom i cry and pray for the most. I am not talking about their respective children yet.

When i was connected in one of the local NGO's, and assigned specifically in a women's desk/section, i was sent for trainings/seminars and got to learn many things regard­ing the plight of women. But it is one thing to be comforted (na hindi pala ako nag-iisa) and another thing to decide - whether or not to follow the flow. Orphaned at three months old, i spent my lonely childhood in a broken adoptive family, that having been such, i coined a personal principle not to let my children suffer the same pain i suffered. So, i stayed in a marriage that was very, very difficult!

Yesterday while i was on my way home, i met and talked for a while with a young friend who told me about the agony she experienced when she found out about the womanizing of her husband. Because we had very limited time to talk about the details of it and the considering explanations why such and such happen, the least i could do was asked her if her husband is a good provider. When she answered in the affirmative, i told her to thank God for giving you a husband like that. And don't give up praying for his conversion, as nobody can change an evil for an evil. The call for us is "Love revolution".

Very sadly i wrote this while in my mind was run­ning a thought: kon pareho la kunta kan papa (the father who i came to know) an mga babayero nga asawa, medyo magaan gad unta an problema san mga asawa. My father was a very good provider for us. That is how i remember him to be, apart from his ultra temperance. We, his children, left us with the fondest memory of him with his best character despite his relentless womanizing, that ultimately brought him down. Mao man gud iton an kinabuhi, diri mo ngani tuhayon an dapat mo tuhayon sa imo kalugaringon, ma­balik ngatanan sa imo iton. Kaparte iton san sinisiring nga mga universal laws - an mga balaud nga diri ug diri gud nababag-o, sadto ug tubtub san tubtuban san kalibutan. But the children must always forgive, lest they will suffer the same fate or consequence/s and worse, kay an pagdumot ug kasina permanente nga sa karat-an kit gindadara.

Women, if you are in the same situation (of being mar­ried to a womanizer), do likewise. STAY and do something about your own self. His problem is his, not yours. Mayda ka kalugaringon nga krus nga imo ginpapas-an. By making his womanizing your problem, you are adding the weight of your own cross. Concentrate on your own wellness. HOWEVER, if you are experiencing more forms of battering as add on to your husband's womanizing, then do something radical about your situation. The children will experience the anxiety and bitterness of your decision, but all of those will be temporary. All those are effects of their (your children) sentimentality because they have not yet seen the world as it is. When they finally decide to wake up and understand, they will move on with their own lives and learn the lessons they got from both of you, their parents. Eventually they will be grateful you showed them courage and strength.

The celebration of women's month will be this coming March. The 1 Billion Rising had been decided to launch last February 14. Chances are, it must be in time for the celebra­tion of the Hearts' Day, maybe because tungod iton san siring nga linya: ang babae minamahal, hindi sinasaktan. Sanglit, babaye, ayaw na tuguti nga padayon ka na la nga susugaron. Buhat ug salbara an imo kalugaringon! Cel­ebrate your goodness as a woman of God everyday! 

The greatest of my love for all of the women - empow­ered or not yet.

BLESSINGS AND PAINS

I faced the computer with nothing in mind. i had a deadline since yesterday pa. Until i sat down here nothing seemed to be working. So i went Facebook-ing to check on my friends, especially the faraway ones. 1, 2, 3 hours had elapsed and the computer monitor reflected quite a sum to pay already. i was wasting money that my family needed, i thought. But i had to forego the thought and reminded myself again that LIFE IS MEANT FOR FRIENDSHIPS AND SERVICE. Guilt is a very nagging enemy of the self. i shall shake it off me if i do my passion - write. 

And then i found my subject on the wall of one of my FB friends! My pretty sister's (Maricris) post, THERE ARE TWO (2) TYPES OF PAINS IN THIS WORLD: PAIN THAT HURTS YOU; & PAIN THAT CHANGES YOU. The truth is, i had been wanting, for quite long already, to write about Humility versus Pride. From my son, who studies Theology, i learned that "Humility is the foundation of all virtues." It is also from this that i thought of its opposite that, "Pride (ego) is the foundation of all sins." 

St. Thomas Aquinas' famous line, among his many, goes: Only a virtuous man is a happy man. Without a doubt, everyone of us is in search of perfect happiness. But what is found most of the time are fleeting and temporary. What we are after are those that are more or less permanent and sustaining. Happiness is indeed elusive, many of us sigh. The truth is, it is not! The problem that blocks people from attaining it is only one. It is pride or ego! Because even if it is only one, it nevertheless takes many forms or manifestations. And it carries no end goal.

Gary Zukav, in his book THE SEAT OF THE SOUL, states: Love is the ultimate mission of the soul. As human beings created and moved by our soul that is our end goal - Love. Majority of the people equates emotion to love. There is nothing wrong with that. What makes that translation wrong is when it jeopardizes relationships or friendships, institutions, and society at large. Love is the strongest emotional force (Foundation for Inner Peace: A COURSE IN MIRACLES). But when its motivation is destruction it must be clearly sought and consciously consulted to find out where it must be coming from.Oftentimes wrong translations are effects of wounded-ness, labelled in other books as "disorder of the soul". 

It is this disorder that is causing the disorderliness of the world. Normally it begun in the home. It is where the psychological parlance - THE CHILD IS THE FATHER TO THE MAN - came from. All of us were born the same. As pure as pristine waters, and as precious as diamonds. In our growing up years, however, we were pained by so many different transgressions coming from practically every direction. To cope we turned to someone, or other people, or for something/s to feel comforted and assured. But things kept repeating until they formed vicious cycles, which probably eventually even became cyclones and super typhoons. To cope further, many strategies were coined and employed for self preservation. All throughout these processes, people unknowingly formed their ego and strengthened it further by constantly reinforcing it layer after layer. Mao nga naabot na sa punto nga mayda na ginsisiring nga "dumako na an ulo". And take note, kaupod san pagdako san ulo, nagguguti man an konsensya. This is a very natural consequential phenomenon. 

          

Unconscious as to what had been brewing inside, gurugutiay la nasisina o nasasakitan na. Ngatanan na la ginpe-personal. Tubtub nga nagsamok na gud uraura an panhunahuna. Until ...only God knows what. Kairo man. Mao iton nga kinahanglan gud kit ngatanan magsakop san ngatanan sa aton mga pag-ampo. Prayers are the best way to helping people. Because in the course of their living their life in ignorance they constantly and consistently played games that they thought suited them well. Many people were affected and victimized by their self-victimization because of their way of coping. 

Until a decision is made for change by acknowledgment of what went wrong, and not blame others for what happened to his/her own personal life's destruction, nothing will be changed. And the attainment of the end goal, which is to find Love, is impossible. Peace and happiness will be nowhere to find as well, because the foundation of all things good is only Love. 

Change can only happen when what needs to be changed is acknowledge. When a mistake is denied, the mistake multiplies. Pains that change, my friends are "blessings-in-disguise", while those that hurt are caused by your wounds inside. Life is a choice, Choose to heal! There is no alternative to that. Freedom comes from healing. 

I lovingly pray for all of us, as we are all brothers and sisters in one big family of God, as i have said! See you sometime again, beloved friends!

SPECIAL LOVE ON A SPECIAL DAY FOR THE LOVE MONTH

Love makes the world go around.  ...and round and round and round in this world we go. This unending vicious cycle of love is simply amazing and amusing! Days before Valentine's Day, a girl office mate shared us what she overheard, in one of the usually frequented financing institutions, from the group of "boys-pretending-to-be-men" talking about their plans for the big V day. Said one: puno na an Ciriaco yana pa la! Everyone laughed. Then another one blurted pointing to one of the noted womanizer: Aw, ini si ... aguris gud ini. mao ngani nga adi ini yana kay nagpe-preparar na! Pandemonium.

          While in my mother office then, i smiled seeing a teenage boy wearing a shirt with a print of a couple - a man & a woman - whose respective hearts were printed in the midsection of the chest, to the woman, while to the man, the heart was printed at the bottom midsection part of his body. Simply put, love is translated very differently between both sexes. That while women love from the heart, men equates love with his sexuality/virility. This led me to question if we could perhaps draw connection between this and the recent SWS survey for satisfaction rating, concerning love, dropping down. Even then, however, it was also found in another survey that we, Filipinos, rank at the top most for being romantics. Ain't this a little too confusing? To me, it is not. For the others, it maybe. Save for those whose thinking are stuck from way back, only they know, when. Joke la naman...batu-bato sa langit... :)

          When i was writing under my pen name - eunice ji - yet, i shared that "Love is neither a reason nor an emotion." And the corresponding explanations for believing the other way around i also wrote there. If you are interested you can re-read from: www.euniceji.blogspot.com. But once more, let us closely check ourselves kon tama pa ba an dalagan san aton panhunahuna, lest we find ourselves regretting and regressing in the process.

          In the book, A COURSE IN MIRACLES, written by the scribe (at least that is how she considers herself to be), Dr. Helen Schucman, she states: the special love relationship is the ego's chief weapon for keeping you from Heaven. It is its most boasted gift, and one which has the most appeal to those unwilling "to heal". It is in the special relationship, born of the hidden wish for special love from God, that the ego's hatred triumphs.

          Sometime ago, in one of my conversations with my brother-priest, i told him that it is of my opinion that pride is the mother of all sins. I haven't changed my opinion of that yet. In fact i have strengthened that belief by the fact that it is from pride where the other sins are committed. Although by way of her profession, Dr. Schucman, used the term ego, instead of pride.

          The early part of January, this year, found me with a damsel-in-distress conversing matters of her heart. She decided, temporarily - i hope, to break up with her husband and find herself first. Good decision. And as is usually happening in such a scenario, i provided her info in reverse to effect eustress. At present she is back in her own hometown with her own family, who then refused to give her a refuge. She is seemingly happy judging from the text messages i receive from her from time to time.

          Fact is, when our decision is based solely on our limits - that we have set to our self - we become confused. This confusion is what makes our life painful. Problem is, we have attached pa gud the idea of happiness sa paghigugma nga nakabase san aton kalugaringon o san kanan sosyedad definiton of love. Ug tungod kay limitado kaupay an aton pagsabot san paghigugma, naabot gud an panahon san sinisiring nga disappointment or disillusionment. Mao iton nga mayda sinisiring nga linya: you can be with somebody but remain lonely. Some will put a good show to hide what is actually inside, because in an ego play, many consider the world a stage. But what they do not know is, it is only them they are convincing.

          In true Love, time and space do not matter. It goes or transcends beyond everything. But the one thing very important to remember is that, it begins with the love for the self. Love respects. But you will not respect others if you do not respect yourself first. It is because you are hurting inside that you keep hurting others. And the love that you give outside is the love that you have not found inside. So, you end up hurting yourself more. But will remain prideful to show that to others because you have not yet decided to knock down your ego. Humility is the only answer. You believe in God through His Son, Jesus Christ? Let me tell you: humility is what Jesus came here for! It is in learning from His teachings that you will wake up to your reality. Ask for God's Holy Spirit to guide you, and you will understand all that you need to understand. You will only become a real w/man, who knows and lives by the real meaning of Love, when you decide to set yourself free, because only the Truth will set you free. And in that truth you will find Heaven while on Earth. Siring pa san homiliya ni Padre Ric Pitogo: tumuod kamo sa diri, mao gud iton. Sanglit kon ako sa iyo, tuod na la kamo.

          LOVE YOU EVERYONE! Tumuod kam sa diri, waray ko la... basta ako, ungod nga naghihigugma sa iyo!

LIFE AND DEATH

My heartfelt condolences to the families of the two of my closest friends and relatives by affinity, Bong Obong and Gemma Omila-Escupete, who recently passed away both of treacherous affliction. Life is, they say, short and mysterious that we have to learn by heart how to live it well and according to the purpose specific of why we are here. Because as unique as we each of us are, we also have unique purpose and mission of being born here no matter our diversity.

This paper's publisher related to me about his being discouraged by a friend for his passion for this paper as he should have better things to attend to. That, at this point in time and given his present age, this job is not for him anymore, said his friend. Funny! But I think that this belief is one of the basic reasons why many of us are lonely and are yet in search of something they do not seem to know what even if they are old already. So they remain lonely, which loneliness manifests outside through anger or whatever addictions they are into, until their lonely death.

Bong, my dearest brother in Christ, is one of the few who, I am sure, died a peaceful and happy death. When I saw him the first time in his coffin, he was so serenely handsome I haven't seen him like that at all since the first time I saw him in his youth until the rest of his living years (the last time we briefly talked was a week before his demise). True enough, the situation of our soul is reflected through our body, either in life or in death.

My children, like their aunts and other relatives, cried so hard for their loss in Bong not only because crying and sorrow is a normal part of goodbyes, but mostly because they dearly love him so much! Bong has given them, all his nephews and nieces, so much love, attention, and nurturing, by sharing all that he had - talents and all, that he will be truly missed BIG! This is how he lived his private life. And just as selflessly as he had given his own family of himself, he did so, too, without let up in silently serving the public through the Church. He did not search for accolades, nor served for money. He did what he had done for love and friendships!

Passion, my friends, is our driving force to live life with a purpose. But passion is never, ever associated with the call of the body. Passion comes from the depths of our heart which is the seat of our soul. Isn't it that sometimes we hear people tag the line: "Waray kalag!" [‘No soul!’] to notorious people who frequently cross the boundaries of others? That is how important our soul is to each of us. Without us recognizing it and its need, then we will naturally fail to find our passion. When we have found our passion and concentrate giving from there, nothing will be put to waste. Everything will be counted in the here and now because it has no end. It is limitless. Our passion is our Call. Bong will be forever remembered here on Earth and especially in Heaven.

Answering the call of the body is different because it is very limited to the body. When the body dies, it will just rot and will become part of the earth where it naturally belongs. When we keep giving in to the call of the body, without using our mind to protect it, we will eventually meet loneliness and soon suffer the ill effects of being lonely and confused, for we are the Captain of our Ship. What we ask for, we get.

The problem is, people do not like to do soul-searching to find their passion because they always prefer to go the easy way - find happiness in serving the body. They think that choosing this is less complicated, not realizing that eventually this same choice is what will lead them to complicate their own lives. Sugad siton kasimple an panhunahuna san kadam-an nga tawo. [That is how simple-minded most people are.] They sabotage their own lives.

As I wrote, I have not yet gone to the wake of Gemma, my sweet, beautiful friend, as I am still so buried in pain with Bong's passing away. It is very difficult for me to be over the sadness because I am surrounded by my equally, and more, pained children and other relatives by affinity. In the sadness of my heart though, as a human being, I am fully aware that Bong is happily united with the Lord. That knowledge and assurance is my great consolation. And it is this same consolation that will free me, and the rest of us, from this pain of losing our dearly loved brother in Christ, Bong!

See you all sometime again, friends. Get to bond with your loved ones always!

FRIENDSHIP IN THE FAMILY

As I wrote this, it has been three consecutive nights already that I have been following, in the ABS-CBN nightly newscast, a featured story of the unfortunate fate of the wife and mother named Marilou Jorge, whose lifeless body had been discovered in the trunk of her own car. I am sure I am only one among the many who became interested to find out what lies beneath the probable lies.

As part of my humanity, I have also formed my own opinion on the matter. But I am wont as yet to nail it since we are not made for judging others. However, it is of my opinion that maybe there was a lack or absence of honest friendships in the house (house, because dreadful things can never occur in a Home). Honest friendships constitute honesty, acceptance, and respect. The failure of observance of these in a family will spill over outside of it. This is the reason why every family member must consider seriously his or her own duties and responsibilities as part of and being in it.

Part of the video clips from people who personally know Marilou Jorge attested to her being a good and religious person, being even a member of a religious organization. Well taken. Most often though, the problem is when what we see externally seems to be taken seriously blown out of proportion.

In one of the lines of a TV soap, I heard: "Lahat tayo ay may sekreto." ["Each of us has secrets"] The thing is we are not exactly in any position to comment perfectly about others because we are not with them 24/7. That is one thing. The other is we do not know what is going on inside every mind. Regardless of age, people keep secrets for many various reasons unique to each one. When Marilou discovered the love letters belonging to his son in his room, all hell probably broke loose (her relentless scolding to her son, as told by her daughter in her affidavit proved that).

Freedom is a most cherished possession one could ever have. When it is taken away from us, we are prone to go berserk, desperate or lonely because, just like Love, Freedom is greatly misunderstood and thus, abused. Sanglit masamok an tagsa-tagsa naton nga kalibutan. [That's why our own worlds are so chaotic.] There is nothing that cannot be solved in honest communications. But most would rather not talk things over, again for many various reasons. But reasons, however numerous they may be, are but alibis. The truth to the matter is simple: many of us do not exactly know what and how to convey matters important to save what is important to us and our freedom. We are so consumed by fear. It is fear that lead people to wrongfully decide and do things the wrong way. Ug danay sa aton la liwat nabalik an epekto san mali naton nga desisyon.

For all the wrongdoings of the youth, please pardon me for saying this, but we, parents/elders, are most often to be blamed. So much is expected of us because, una sa ngatanan: nahimugso sira sini nga kalibutan pinaagi san aton desisyon nga mahimo sira; ug tungod kay kita an kag-anak, kinahanglanon gud kaupay nga mas may buot kit kaysa sa ira. [...first of all, they came into this world through our decision to make them; and because we are the parents, there is a need for us to possess a high level maturity.] We cannot be less than what is expected of us. Our children, in fact, have all the rights to expect from us. Unless, of course, their expectations are beyond our set limits which importantly must be based on our realities as a family which is unique from other families. Dida naman liwat dapat i-impuner naton an sinisiring nga disiplina. Kaparte dapat, tikang sa tinikangan, nga klaro sa aton mga anak nga kon mayda sira expectations sa aton, mayda man kit nga mga kag-anak, in turn, expectations sa ira. [With that, we should also impose discipline. From the start, it is important to make it clear to our children that if they have expectations from us, we as parents also have expectations from them.] But for all of these, it must be clearly also emphasized to the children that we are no different from them. That we also have human frailties, like they do. This is where assurance, on a case to case basis, must be stressed to enable our children to grow in security and maturity eventually. This should be highly given priority as "expectation is the root of all heartaches."

It is my hope and prayer that the Marilou Jorge story does not end up in actually the father sending a wrong message to his own children. We all have the obligation to give justice where justice is due because "Justice is the Divine correction for injustice.(A COURSE IN MIRACLES)" That is, if we really believe that we have a Supreme Being up there.

Pleasant greetings everyone!