To one of my students, who I found very pleasing, was where my well-loved book, Eric Berne’s GAMES PEOPLE PLAY, went. I felt a little regret giving away that book, but because he is a person whose personality is a common target of annoying people, it was the most fitting book to share, hopefully to help him lighten his load and ease his pain that he may not lose his way.
God knows what is in our hearts. When my son was sent back to training in the U.S.A. and asked me what book was it that I wanted from him as a “something” when he comes back, I spontaneously requested for the same book he bought for me the first time he was there, the book I gave – Games People Play.
When I got the book and I read it over again, I started from literally the first pages of it, because unlike the first time where I was too excited to learn of the different games that people play, this time I was more into learning what could have been it was I probably missed. The regretful feeling in my parting with this book was coming from probably missing something, I thought. Preface, Introduction – page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and whoa, I really did miss a very great part of it, the three (3) different kinds of man’s hunger!
The first two (2) hungers, stimulus and recognition, I understood already having as well spotted numbers of manifestations from different people afflicted by these hungers. But the last one, structure hunger, I still have to think more clearly and observe its symptoms/signs or manifestations. But I realized already their interconnections.
Then I found one, in this rather distasteful & shameful controversy in Mideo Cruz’s ‘Poleteismo’ which was wrongfully decided by the CCP Management for public viewing. No, I am not all offended despite my loyalty as a follower of Christ and as a Catholic. Because more like Jesus and Mother Mary, I can take everything. And just like them, too, I can only cry for the lost people like Mideo and the CCP Management. At kung pwede din ako’ng umiyak ng dugo, dugo din ang ilalabas ng mga mata ko, tulad nila Hesus at Birheng Maria.
My good friend and brother-in-Christ, Rev. Fr. Rod San Jose, OFM, sent me a text message a long time ago (miss you, Rod…): “FREEDOM IS NOT ABOUT SAYING OR DOING ANYTHING WE WANT TO SAY OR DO ANYTIME OR ANYWHERE.” That is so far as I can remember, the rest I already forgot. But the shorter, the better. The thought is what counts most anyways. But I’d like to think na maybe may kasamang ganito ‘yon: FREEDOM IS ALL ABOUT RESPECT.
People who are disrespectful of others and their belief system probably grew up (we must limit our thinking to theoretical opinions to avoid judgment) in either overly rigid or extremely lenient environment – where boundaries/limits were unclear; or they were simply boxed-in rather than accepted/respected and, yes, understood but rightfully disciplined. Chances are, rather than being heard and loved they were made to follow the systematic dogma or pattern that was long set before their being born. ’Yung mga paniniwala at sistemang masyadong matagal na matagal nang napag-iwanan ng panahon!
As “artists” their expression of what has been brewing in their hearts and minds, since only – of course – they know, exploded when they found what they think is the right timing for it. When a person with a dark soul like this finds the same kind of soul in another person/s, then their agendum is met and their transaction complete. Notice the words of Plato: “O, youth or young man, who fancy that you are neglected by the Gods, know that if you become worse you shall go to the worse souls, or if better to the better…” (“birds of the same feather …” ‘ikanga).
As “artists” their constant struggle is to be set free. Free to express whatever they think need to be expressed. Their problem lies in their unconscious knowledge of what it is exactly that imprisons them and who imprisoned them to that “what”. Lumaki silang katulad ng mga batang hindi matukoy kung alin ang masakit sa kanila sa mga panahong masama ang pakiramdam nila.
There are two (2) ways by which a human being is known. They are through works or words. We are given away not only by what we say, but also by what we do. An artwork is a self-reflection more than it is an expression. This is where the importance of psychology is. But a Godless psychology must be meticulously spotted also because the absence of a God is very, very dangerous to the soul. This is highly observable in this modern day, that through the proliferation of pop psychology so many people are going berserk, sa paniwalang tama sila. It is through them that our young generation is corrupted.
Actually, it is not Jesus they hate, nor Mother Mary. It is not even their religion, I think. It is the people who introduced them to these. Their form of expression is simply a displacement of anger or frustration or whatever negative feeling it maybe. It is their confusion that calls this expression an “art”.
Religion is a form of structure, yes, but because it forms part of a family’s belief system it must be that the family structure is sturdy, made of unshakable foundations consisting of good morals and value systems, and not just systematized dogmas and other what-have-you’s. As early as possible the children must be able to observe good behavior and relationships from their elders in the home, especially their parents, as it is in the purity of childhood that all the chakras are open. This is the reason why we say: “copy-paste” la an mga anak san kag-anak or their exact opposites. The right form of intimacy in the family must stand out for the children to mimic in order for them to form the habit needed in their growing up.
The most problematic parents, who become excess baggage of their children eventually, are the parents who instill in their young minds’ the instruction: “follow what I say, not what I do!” The children are disgraced, and are therefore discouraged, at a fairly young age. I know of someone dearest and closest to my heart whose poetic artistry was underestimated by his teacher (a supposed second parent outside of his own home), who did not believe he actually wrote it. As a result of the teacher’s discouragement he did not pursue his love for writing poetry – which could have been his self-fulfillment having found his passion in his youth. Sayang. I have a precious friend whose painting prowess I admire, but because he was boxed-in by constantly comparing him to his elder brother, whose personality is completely opposite his, that until now in his forty-something years, hidden from his family he continues to be addicted in dope. Very sad! I don’t know what to feel for his little children. All I know is, I need to pray for them. And that I need to continue to love them, not only because they are my friends, but more because they are my brothers.
Fr. John Monborquette, OMI, in his book HOW TO BEFRIEND YOUR SHADOW, informs that the spirituality of a person happens only twice in a lifetime, in youth and in midlife. Spirituality is a search for what is GOOD, BEAUTIFUL and TRUE. If this search is discouraged in youth, there is a great chance for a person to get stuck unless his consciousness is raised through his willingness and cooperation. In fact, in the recently concluded seminar/workshop, sponsored by a non-government agency in our locality and where some of our Office’s social workers were attendees, titled: Beginning Family Therapy, it was importantly disseminated that most of our co-Filipinos are mainly stuck, not pathologic.
Everyone must take care of each one. But before anyone can take care of the other, he must first take care of his/her self. The structure that I needed then, because much like you, maybe, I also was raised in a rather dysfunctional family, was a self-structure whose faith looks up at something or someone bigger and above me; who or which is inside me; and who or which is consciously aware how to best take care of everyone like me. And I felt the urgency to own that something or someone. To do that, I need idols whose lives are worth of emulation. As I am only a human being who is inclined to commit mistakes, these idols I need to keep in my heart to remind me constantly how they sacrificed and won the battle. Everybody loves a winner. Nobody loves a loser.
If we prefer and decide to get stuck also in our old forms of belief system, as supposed-to-be responsible adults or “moral guardians” then, I’m deeply and honestly sorry for the young generation/s because we will never ever increase their awareness and bring them to the next level. Kaya patuloy lang ang pag-ikot natin sa tinatawag na vicious cycle. To continue Plato’s words reflected above: “…and in every succession of life and death, you will do and suffer what like may fitly suffer at the hands of the like. This is the justice of Heaven.”
Mideo will definitely have his time – that, we can be sure of. But for now, after what has been done, we need to concentrate on its ill effects to our young. We need to repair the damage done to them however small or big it maybe the soonest possible time. The task will be difficult, especially for those inexperienced and who lacks understanding and patience. An officemate-mother experienced this when her little child asked her. Regardless, every one of us must be sensitive enough to patiently address the young’s need for recovery and understanding about things important to their well being and our society as a whole.
Let us continue to pray “for Christ’s sake”, who poured out his blood to redeem us na sinasayang lang at niyuyurakan pa ng iba, at ‘di pa na-kontento ay nandadamay pa ng mga pobre at inosenteng iba. God forgive them!
May God have mercy on us and continue to guide us through Jesus and Mother Mary.
__________
Editor’s note:
The quote regarding freedom may have been based on one from Pope John Paul II in which he says:
God knows what is in our hearts. When my son was sent back to training in the U.S.A. and asked me what book was it that I wanted from him as a “something” when he comes back, I spontaneously requested for the same book he bought for me the first time he was there, the book I gave – Games People Play.
When I got the book and I read it over again, I started from literally the first pages of it, because unlike the first time where I was too excited to learn of the different games that people play, this time I was more into learning what could have been it was I probably missed. The regretful feeling in my parting with this book was coming from probably missing something, I thought. Preface, Introduction – page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and whoa, I really did miss a very great part of it, the three (3) different kinds of man’s hunger!
The first two (2) hungers, stimulus and recognition, I understood already having as well spotted numbers of manifestations from different people afflicted by these hungers. But the last one, structure hunger, I still have to think more clearly and observe its symptoms/signs or manifestations. But I realized already their interconnections.
Then I found one, in this rather distasteful & shameful controversy in Mideo Cruz’s ‘Poleteismo’ which was wrongfully decided by the CCP Management for public viewing. No, I am not all offended despite my loyalty as a follower of Christ and as a Catholic. Because more like Jesus and Mother Mary, I can take everything. And just like them, too, I can only cry for the lost people like Mideo and the CCP Management. At kung pwede din ako’ng umiyak ng dugo, dugo din ang ilalabas ng mga mata ko, tulad nila Hesus at Birheng Maria.
My good friend and brother-in-Christ, Rev. Fr. Rod San Jose, OFM, sent me a text message a long time ago (miss you, Rod…): “FREEDOM IS NOT ABOUT SAYING OR DOING ANYTHING WE WANT TO SAY OR DO ANYTIME OR ANYWHERE.” That is so far as I can remember, the rest I already forgot. But the shorter, the better. The thought is what counts most anyways. But I’d like to think na maybe may kasamang ganito ‘yon: FREEDOM IS ALL ABOUT RESPECT.
People who are disrespectful of others and their belief system probably grew up (we must limit our thinking to theoretical opinions to avoid judgment) in either overly rigid or extremely lenient environment – where boundaries/limits were unclear; or they were simply boxed-in rather than accepted/respected and, yes, understood but rightfully disciplined. Chances are, rather than being heard and loved they were made to follow the systematic dogma or pattern that was long set before their being born. ’Yung mga paniniwala at sistemang masyadong matagal na matagal nang napag-iwanan ng panahon!
As “artists” their expression of what has been brewing in their hearts and minds, since only – of course – they know, exploded when they found what they think is the right timing for it. When a person with a dark soul like this finds the same kind of soul in another person/s, then their agendum is met and their transaction complete. Notice the words of Plato: “O, youth or young man, who fancy that you are neglected by the Gods, know that if you become worse you shall go to the worse souls, or if better to the better…” (“birds of the same feather …” ‘ikanga).
As “artists” their constant struggle is to be set free. Free to express whatever they think need to be expressed. Their problem lies in their unconscious knowledge of what it is exactly that imprisons them and who imprisoned them to that “what”. Lumaki silang katulad ng mga batang hindi matukoy kung alin ang masakit sa kanila sa mga panahong masama ang pakiramdam nila.
There are two (2) ways by which a human being is known. They are through works or words. We are given away not only by what we say, but also by what we do. An artwork is a self-reflection more than it is an expression. This is where the importance of psychology is. But a Godless psychology must be meticulously spotted also because the absence of a God is very, very dangerous to the soul. This is highly observable in this modern day, that through the proliferation of pop psychology so many people are going berserk, sa paniwalang tama sila. It is through them that our young generation is corrupted.
Actually, it is not Jesus they hate, nor Mother Mary. It is not even their religion, I think. It is the people who introduced them to these. Their form of expression is simply a displacement of anger or frustration or whatever negative feeling it maybe. It is their confusion that calls this expression an “art”.
Religion is a form of structure, yes, but because it forms part of a family’s belief system it must be that the family structure is sturdy, made of unshakable foundations consisting of good morals and value systems, and not just systematized dogmas and other what-have-you’s. As early as possible the children must be able to observe good behavior and relationships from their elders in the home, especially their parents, as it is in the purity of childhood that all the chakras are open. This is the reason why we say: “copy-paste” la an mga anak san kag-anak or their exact opposites. The right form of intimacy in the family must stand out for the children to mimic in order for them to form the habit needed in their growing up.
The most problematic parents, who become excess baggage of their children eventually, are the parents who instill in their young minds’ the instruction: “follow what I say, not what I do!” The children are disgraced, and are therefore discouraged, at a fairly young age. I know of someone dearest and closest to my heart whose poetic artistry was underestimated by his teacher (a supposed second parent outside of his own home), who did not believe he actually wrote it. As a result of the teacher’s discouragement he did not pursue his love for writing poetry – which could have been his self-fulfillment having found his passion in his youth. Sayang. I have a precious friend whose painting prowess I admire, but because he was boxed-in by constantly comparing him to his elder brother, whose personality is completely opposite his, that until now in his forty-something years, hidden from his family he continues to be addicted in dope. Very sad! I don’t know what to feel for his little children. All I know is, I need to pray for them. And that I need to continue to love them, not only because they are my friends, but more because they are my brothers.
Fr. John Monborquette, OMI, in his book HOW TO BEFRIEND YOUR SHADOW, informs that the spirituality of a person happens only twice in a lifetime, in youth and in midlife. Spirituality is a search for what is GOOD, BEAUTIFUL and TRUE. If this search is discouraged in youth, there is a great chance for a person to get stuck unless his consciousness is raised through his willingness and cooperation. In fact, in the recently concluded seminar/workshop, sponsored by a non-government agency in our locality and where some of our Office’s social workers were attendees, titled: Beginning Family Therapy, it was importantly disseminated that most of our co-Filipinos are mainly stuck, not pathologic.
Everyone must take care of each one. But before anyone can take care of the other, he must first take care of his/her self. The structure that I needed then, because much like you, maybe, I also was raised in a rather dysfunctional family, was a self-structure whose faith looks up at something or someone bigger and above me; who or which is inside me; and who or which is consciously aware how to best take care of everyone like me. And I felt the urgency to own that something or someone. To do that, I need idols whose lives are worth of emulation. As I am only a human being who is inclined to commit mistakes, these idols I need to keep in my heart to remind me constantly how they sacrificed and won the battle. Everybody loves a winner. Nobody loves a loser.
If we prefer and decide to get stuck also in our old forms of belief system, as supposed-to-be responsible adults or “moral guardians” then, I’m deeply and honestly sorry for the young generation/s because we will never ever increase their awareness and bring them to the next level. Kaya patuloy lang ang pag-ikot natin sa tinatawag na vicious cycle. To continue Plato’s words reflected above: “…and in every succession of life and death, you will do and suffer what like may fitly suffer at the hands of the like. This is the justice of Heaven.”
Mideo will definitely have his time – that, we can be sure of. But for now, after what has been done, we need to concentrate on its ill effects to our young. We need to repair the damage done to them however small or big it maybe the soonest possible time. The task will be difficult, especially for those inexperienced and who lacks understanding and patience. An officemate-mother experienced this when her little child asked her. Regardless, every one of us must be sensitive enough to patiently address the young’s need for recovery and understanding about things important to their well being and our society as a whole.
Let us continue to pray “for Christ’s sake”, who poured out his blood to redeem us na sinasayang lang at niyuyurakan pa ng iba, at ‘di pa na-kontento ay nandadamay pa ng mga pobre at inosenteng iba. God forgive them!
May God have mercy on us and continue to guide us through Jesus and Mother Mary.
__________
Editor’s note:
The quote regarding freedom may have been based on one from Pope John Paul II in which he says:
"Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought."
