ONE BILLION RISING

Today's topic i would have written for the preceding is­sue, right after the launching of 1 Billion Rising activity in Manila, spearheaded by the known stage actress Monique Wilson. Boy Abunda attended the said event upon personal invitation of Eve Ensler - activity originator and writer of the famous "Vagina Monologues". These known people are but few of those who intensely and extensively work for advocacy to end abuse or any violence against women and to hopefully empower them.

On behalf of all the victim­ized women, i am grateful for these above mentioned personalities for standing up for them and providing strength and courage where both (courage and strength) left them. The different backgrounds each of them have do not matter that much. What binds them together is the common purpose - raise the dignity of women - because even if the Philippines is already fortunate, in as far as the bill of rights for women, among the developing countries, abuses continue to predominate. As I said before, what is seen on official records is but the tip of an iceberg. Most women suf­fer in silence. And they are them whom i cry and pray for the most. I am not talking about their respective children yet.

When i was connected in one of the local NGO's, and assigned specifically in a women's desk/section, i was sent for trainings/seminars and got to learn many things regard­ing the plight of women. But it is one thing to be comforted (na hindi pala ako nag-iisa) and another thing to decide - whether or not to follow the flow. Orphaned at three months old, i spent my lonely childhood in a broken adoptive family, that having been such, i coined a personal principle not to let my children suffer the same pain i suffered. So, i stayed in a marriage that was very, very difficult!

Yesterday while i was on my way home, i met and talked for a while with a young friend who told me about the agony she experienced when she found out about the womanizing of her husband. Because we had very limited time to talk about the details of it and the considering explanations why such and such happen, the least i could do was asked her if her husband is a good provider. When she answered in the affirmative, i told her to thank God for giving you a husband like that. And don't give up praying for his conversion, as nobody can change an evil for an evil. The call for us is "Love revolution".

Very sadly i wrote this while in my mind was run­ning a thought: kon pareho la kunta kan papa (the father who i came to know) an mga babayero nga asawa, medyo magaan gad unta an problema san mga asawa. My father was a very good provider for us. That is how i remember him to be, apart from his ultra temperance. We, his children, left us with the fondest memory of him with his best character despite his relentless womanizing, that ultimately brought him down. Mao man gud iton an kinabuhi, diri mo ngani tuhayon an dapat mo tuhayon sa imo kalugaringon, ma­balik ngatanan sa imo iton. Kaparte iton san sinisiring nga mga universal laws - an mga balaud nga diri ug diri gud nababag-o, sadto ug tubtub san tubtuban san kalibutan. But the children must always forgive, lest they will suffer the same fate or consequence/s and worse, kay an pagdumot ug kasina permanente nga sa karat-an kit gindadara.

Women, if you are in the same situation (of being mar­ried to a womanizer), do likewise. STAY and do something about your own self. His problem is his, not yours. Mayda ka kalugaringon nga krus nga imo ginpapas-an. By making his womanizing your problem, you are adding the weight of your own cross. Concentrate on your own wellness. HOWEVER, if you are experiencing more forms of battering as add on to your husband's womanizing, then do something radical about your situation. The children will experience the anxiety and bitterness of your decision, but all of those will be temporary. All those are effects of their (your children) sentimentality because they have not yet seen the world as it is. When they finally decide to wake up and understand, they will move on with their own lives and learn the lessons they got from both of you, their parents. Eventually they will be grateful you showed them courage and strength.

The celebration of women's month will be this coming March. The 1 Billion Rising had been decided to launch last February 14. Chances are, it must be in time for the celebra­tion of the Hearts' Day, maybe because tungod iton san siring nga linya: ang babae minamahal, hindi sinasaktan. Sanglit, babaye, ayaw na tuguti nga padayon ka na la nga susugaron. Buhat ug salbara an imo kalugaringon! Cel­ebrate your goodness as a woman of God everyday! 

The greatest of my love for all of the women - empow­ered or not yet.

BLESSINGS AND PAINS

I faced the computer with nothing in mind. i had a deadline since yesterday pa. Until i sat down here nothing seemed to be working. So i went Facebook-ing to check on my friends, especially the faraway ones. 1, 2, 3 hours had elapsed and the computer monitor reflected quite a sum to pay already. i was wasting money that my family needed, i thought. But i had to forego the thought and reminded myself again that LIFE IS MEANT FOR FRIENDSHIPS AND SERVICE. Guilt is a very nagging enemy of the self. i shall shake it off me if i do my passion - write. 

And then i found my subject on the wall of one of my FB friends! My pretty sister's (Maricris) post, THERE ARE TWO (2) TYPES OF PAINS IN THIS WORLD: PAIN THAT HURTS YOU; & PAIN THAT CHANGES YOU. The truth is, i had been wanting, for quite long already, to write about Humility versus Pride. From my son, who studies Theology, i learned that "Humility is the foundation of all virtues." It is also from this that i thought of its opposite that, "Pride (ego) is the foundation of all sins." 

St. Thomas Aquinas' famous line, among his many, goes: Only a virtuous man is a happy man. Without a doubt, everyone of us is in search of perfect happiness. But what is found most of the time are fleeting and temporary. What we are after are those that are more or less permanent and sustaining. Happiness is indeed elusive, many of us sigh. The truth is, it is not! The problem that blocks people from attaining it is only one. It is pride or ego! Because even if it is only one, it nevertheless takes many forms or manifestations. And it carries no end goal.

Gary Zukav, in his book THE SEAT OF THE SOUL, states: Love is the ultimate mission of the soul. As human beings created and moved by our soul that is our end goal - Love. Majority of the people equates emotion to love. There is nothing wrong with that. What makes that translation wrong is when it jeopardizes relationships or friendships, institutions, and society at large. Love is the strongest emotional force (Foundation for Inner Peace: A COURSE IN MIRACLES). But when its motivation is destruction it must be clearly sought and consciously consulted to find out where it must be coming from.Oftentimes wrong translations are effects of wounded-ness, labelled in other books as "disorder of the soul". 

It is this disorder that is causing the disorderliness of the world. Normally it begun in the home. It is where the psychological parlance - THE CHILD IS THE FATHER TO THE MAN - came from. All of us were born the same. As pure as pristine waters, and as precious as diamonds. In our growing up years, however, we were pained by so many different transgressions coming from practically every direction. To cope we turned to someone, or other people, or for something/s to feel comforted and assured. But things kept repeating until they formed vicious cycles, which probably eventually even became cyclones and super typhoons. To cope further, many strategies were coined and employed for self preservation. All throughout these processes, people unknowingly formed their ego and strengthened it further by constantly reinforcing it layer after layer. Mao nga naabot na sa punto nga mayda na ginsisiring nga "dumako na an ulo". And take note, kaupod san pagdako san ulo, nagguguti man an konsensya. This is a very natural consequential phenomenon. 

          

Unconscious as to what had been brewing inside, gurugutiay la nasisina o nasasakitan na. Ngatanan na la ginpe-personal. Tubtub nga nagsamok na gud uraura an panhunahuna. Until ...only God knows what. Kairo man. Mao iton nga kinahanglan gud kit ngatanan magsakop san ngatanan sa aton mga pag-ampo. Prayers are the best way to helping people. Because in the course of their living their life in ignorance they constantly and consistently played games that they thought suited them well. Many people were affected and victimized by their self-victimization because of their way of coping. 

Until a decision is made for change by acknowledgment of what went wrong, and not blame others for what happened to his/her own personal life's destruction, nothing will be changed. And the attainment of the end goal, which is to find Love, is impossible. Peace and happiness will be nowhere to find as well, because the foundation of all things good is only Love. 

Change can only happen when what needs to be changed is acknowledge. When a mistake is denied, the mistake multiplies. Pains that change, my friends are "blessings-in-disguise", while those that hurt are caused by your wounds inside. Life is a choice, Choose to heal! There is no alternative to that. Freedom comes from healing. 

I lovingly pray for all of us, as we are all brothers and sisters in one big family of God, as i have said! See you sometime again, beloved friends!

SPECIAL LOVE ON A SPECIAL DAY FOR THE LOVE MONTH

Love makes the world go around.  ...and round and round and round in this world we go. This unending vicious cycle of love is simply amazing and amusing! Days before Valentine's Day, a girl office mate shared us what she overheard, in one of the usually frequented financing institutions, from the group of "boys-pretending-to-be-men" talking about their plans for the big V day. Said one: puno na an Ciriaco yana pa la! Everyone laughed. Then another one blurted pointing to one of the noted womanizer: Aw, ini si ... aguris gud ini. mao ngani nga adi ini yana kay nagpe-preparar na! Pandemonium.

          While in my mother office then, i smiled seeing a teenage boy wearing a shirt with a print of a couple - a man & a woman - whose respective hearts were printed in the midsection of the chest, to the woman, while to the man, the heart was printed at the bottom midsection part of his body. Simply put, love is translated very differently between both sexes. That while women love from the heart, men equates love with his sexuality/virility. This led me to question if we could perhaps draw connection between this and the recent SWS survey for satisfaction rating, concerning love, dropping down. Even then, however, it was also found in another survey that we, Filipinos, rank at the top most for being romantics. Ain't this a little too confusing? To me, it is not. For the others, it maybe. Save for those whose thinking are stuck from way back, only they know, when. Joke la naman...batu-bato sa langit... :)

          When i was writing under my pen name - eunice ji - yet, i shared that "Love is neither a reason nor an emotion." And the corresponding explanations for believing the other way around i also wrote there. If you are interested you can re-read from: www.euniceji.blogspot.com. But once more, let us closely check ourselves kon tama pa ba an dalagan san aton panhunahuna, lest we find ourselves regretting and regressing in the process.

          In the book, A COURSE IN MIRACLES, written by the scribe (at least that is how she considers herself to be), Dr. Helen Schucman, she states: the special love relationship is the ego's chief weapon for keeping you from Heaven. It is its most boasted gift, and one which has the most appeal to those unwilling "to heal". It is in the special relationship, born of the hidden wish for special love from God, that the ego's hatred triumphs.

          Sometime ago, in one of my conversations with my brother-priest, i told him that it is of my opinion that pride is the mother of all sins. I haven't changed my opinion of that yet. In fact i have strengthened that belief by the fact that it is from pride where the other sins are committed. Although by way of her profession, Dr. Schucman, used the term ego, instead of pride.

          The early part of January, this year, found me with a damsel-in-distress conversing matters of her heart. She decided, temporarily - i hope, to break up with her husband and find herself first. Good decision. And as is usually happening in such a scenario, i provided her info in reverse to effect eustress. At present she is back in her own hometown with her own family, who then refused to give her a refuge. She is seemingly happy judging from the text messages i receive from her from time to time.

          Fact is, when our decision is based solely on our limits - that we have set to our self - we become confused. This confusion is what makes our life painful. Problem is, we have attached pa gud the idea of happiness sa paghigugma nga nakabase san aton kalugaringon o san kanan sosyedad definiton of love. Ug tungod kay limitado kaupay an aton pagsabot san paghigugma, naabot gud an panahon san sinisiring nga disappointment or disillusionment. Mao iton nga mayda sinisiring nga linya: you can be with somebody but remain lonely. Some will put a good show to hide what is actually inside, because in an ego play, many consider the world a stage. But what they do not know is, it is only them they are convincing.

          In true Love, time and space do not matter. It goes or transcends beyond everything. But the one thing very important to remember is that, it begins with the love for the self. Love respects. But you will not respect others if you do not respect yourself first. It is because you are hurting inside that you keep hurting others. And the love that you give outside is the love that you have not found inside. So, you end up hurting yourself more. But will remain prideful to show that to others because you have not yet decided to knock down your ego. Humility is the only answer. You believe in God through His Son, Jesus Christ? Let me tell you: humility is what Jesus came here for! It is in learning from His teachings that you will wake up to your reality. Ask for God's Holy Spirit to guide you, and you will understand all that you need to understand. You will only become a real w/man, who knows and lives by the real meaning of Love, when you decide to set yourself free, because only the Truth will set you free. And in that truth you will find Heaven while on Earth. Siring pa san homiliya ni Padre Ric Pitogo: tumuod kamo sa diri, mao gud iton. Sanglit kon ako sa iyo, tuod na la kamo.

          LOVE YOU EVERYONE! Tumuod kam sa diri, waray ko la... basta ako, ungod nga naghihigugma sa iyo!