MY PROBLEM

Yesterday was a usual day at the office. When l I finished saying my Rosary this morning though, the question posed by my officemate-friend yesterday came back to me and disturbed me. Reflecting, I found out that until I am able to convince myself that I am not bothered anymore and that I am able to air this out, as a person of expression (“what you bring forth within you”) then I cannot rest and attend to other matters. The problem that always confronts me every single time I am in this is the inability to find a person who will listen to me and understand what I am saying about. Although I have about six or seven (6 or 7) of them, they are not physically with me because we have separate lives to live and have missions to fulfill, the things that we were uniquely born to do. So I say, Thank you, Lord, for this venue!

My officemate-friend’s question had something to do with religion, as she is, according to my personal perception of her, a rather very scrupulously religious woman who shuns herself from other opinions about religion and spirituality. A fixed person, for now, I hope. It is because of this personal opinion of her that I dismissed her by not arguing with what she said, after the question, anymore. After the two (2) unfortunate times that I made her “patol” were more than enough lessons for me.

Religion is not only a very sensitive issue to talk, more so if it is to argue about. And before I go further, let me tell you that there is nothing wrong about whatever religion we chose because I see it more as a solution for our search of belongingness to expand our support system which is needed to suffice our stimulus hunger, specifically the psycho-spiritual one. The problem lies in the belief system, of our choice of religion, that we ultimately decided to choose to embrace. If our belief system is stuck in the teachings of our religion alone then our choice of religion, no matter what it is, becomes limiting and therefore, debilitating. The fact that we (this officemate-friend and i) belong in one and the same religion is an attestation. As I cannot speak for other people (she asked particularly, what could have been a particular author’s thought about Jesus, when I shared with them the findings – re reincarnations – of this author in his field of practice) I might just write about mine. So goes the reason for my writing this.

My personal thought and feelings about Jesus is: He is my Brother, my Best friend, my Confidante, my Great Guide, my Inspiration, my Refuge, my, Comfort, my Protector, my Teacher, my Master, my Everything…that I can be the best that I can be and give the best that I can give through Him. Infused within us, He and Mother Mary are the best examples of both genders (that is why, we are really complete on our own); and that for as long as I let them stay with me and in me, I will always thread the right path.

Maybe this is the reason why my brother-priest says that Jesus Christ and Mother Mary are the modern day Adam and Eve. They could have reincarnated for that very great purpose – of setting us examples! Who knows? And should this be the case, then, they were not first parents for nothing after all! Jesus saved us because He has to (not only because of His great Love for us, but as part, as well, of His great task as the very first creation of God)! Remember in the seven (7) last words before He died: “Natuman na!” ? That is the greatest plan of God for our redemption. Jesus Christ and Mother Mary both showed us that we should embrace sufferings and sacrifices because that is what Love is all about! We need sufferings and sacrifices in our lives to temper the desires of our flesh, so that we can experience the joy of resurrection.

With the vastness of life’s mysteries, who among us knows what exactly could have happened? We are limited to theories, friends. Our theories become part of our belief system. And I am not about to convince you with mine because we are all entitled to each our own. My problem is mine and yours is yours. Love is acceptance and respect. Life will be easier for all of us to bear if it is begun from that angle. But we certainly can help one another given our willingness and cooperation. But that will, of course, entail a hell lot of humility! The question is, are you prepared to get down from your own created throne? Your self-declaration of who you are: that what is called “your illusion”?

Last week after going through so much, I said to myself: “you can call me stubborn, because I certainly am an iconoclast, but I am definitely not going to live my life according to the dictates of other people because in my universe I AM the center. People might be repelled or attracted by that, but whatever reaction they may have of my self-concept is the least of my concern. What is important is I know that I am here for friendships and service. And that I always give the best of me to anybody that needs me. That is the only thing that matters.” My obedience is exclusively to my God. For as long as I remain grounded in my firm belief and understanding that I do not have any malicious intent that will hurt others, then, other people’s views of me are of no importance, as I only have one and ultimate Judge.

Let me tell you this, just in case you failed to notice yet, the only lasting relationship is friendship. Why? Because it is only in friendship where there is no pressure. We are left pretty much by our friends on our own. But they continue to be there for us no matter. You learned/heard of the so-called ONE-FRIEND theory? It says that, for as long as you have even just a single friend who can get you by through good times and tough, then you will be okay. No matter who this person is in your life, whether s/he be a parent, a spouse, a child (biological or not), a girlfriend/boyfriend, a partner, a companion, or whatever you may call him/her, does not at all matter. Jesus is that one for me, guys! But it was Mother Mary who led me to Him. That is why I call me a Rosary girl. My loyalty is not to be questioned.

Expand your understanding about life, friends. Read a lot more. But most of all, keep an open mind. Reflect of things important to your soul. It is the key to eternity. Learn more of yourself, not others. Live your life for you, so you can find you. Unless you begin in you, there is very little that you can give to others. There is this one message I found in one of my friends’ account which I reposted in my Facebook account also. It said in essence: “Live your life well. For others, it might just be the only Bible that they will read.”

Before I finally bid you my goodbye for now, I hope you can pay a visit and listen to Deepak Chopra’s short message in the Youtube, he titled, IAM: THEREFORE GOD IS. And please do get to remember St. Thomas Aquinas’ theory of the God within and the God above in your reflection after listening. Because until such time that you are solid as a rock in Jesus, trust me, there is very little that you can do for your brethren, except “bless them that curse you, and pray for them that despitefully use you (Holy Bible: Book of Luke)”.

Here are two (2) of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s quotes I want to share with you before I bid you farewell, friends, to think about: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” and “Solitude is impractical; and society is fatal.”
Good luck and may God bless you in your continuous search for the God within you!

FIBROMYALGIA AND ANXIETY DISORDER: THE CONNECTION

Retreat (or to treat again; a place of refuge, seclusion or privacy) is one of those needed by every one of us. This is what I discovered just very recently while I was on my very short stay in my son and his wife’s house. And being in a place where I was most of the time by myself, literally and metaphorically (the couple is working on a graveyard shift), my only communication with friends was through the social networking sites, because the couple’s worldwide web connection is 24/7.

During these occasions – of being in the computer – I was many times tempted to share/post this on my wall: “It is an important necessity for us to take a retreat, once a year at the very least, in whatever way/s we can for 1001 reasons!” But I did not want to mislead as I have this observation regarding concepts and understanding. I really think that most of the people have limited knowledge regarding the word “retreat”, as it is mostly understood to have something to do with religiosity, instead of spirituality in connection with our soul, whose language is manifested through our physical body. “It is by SHARING that we become a BLESSING.” Somehow, I kept remembering this particular line, for some reasons. And knowing myself really well, I was certain this won’t stop until I did something about this. Such is the rationale for this article.

A sporty person, I was a tomboy when I was young, I would often grab a chance to walk (my simple form of exercise) as often as I could in my adult life. Approaching my fifties though, I often felt pain in my lower extremities after every brisk walk. I disregarded this matter thinking it was a normal sign of aging. I did my walking alternately in the hope that it will solve the discomfort because there is ample time for repair of used or maybe damaged tissues, or nerve, or whatever that is affected during the exercise, according to my pharmacist best friend. This pattern went well for quite some time, until it was not working anymore. It even went from bad to worse. The muscle pain I was feeling seemed to be all over every part of my body already and it was coupled with fatigue and insomnia. If there were a few times for me to enjoy walking, it was very seldom. And then I realized some more – my memory kept faltering, and sadly the failure would come in time when I needed most to remember something really important and urgent. I was more than sad. I was frustrated!

When my look-alike lady friend offered me to go with her to Manila, as there was much space for more passenger/s in their car, I accepted the invite right away thinking that maybe what I needed was some time off – a breather perhaps. Manila is a place which is frequented when people in the provinces have money to splurge but I sure didn’t have that much money that time. All I had was a little amount to get by once there. I also actually wanted to go with her because the idea of travelling with her, for the first time ever, excited me. Thank you very much, my dear friend Olive!

The following day, immediately after our arrival in Manila, I was fetched by my son to finally spend my short vacation with them in their place outside of Manila – a hilly subdivision which is a wider or larger version of ours here in the province. A true-bloodied “promdi” that I am, I am wont to even getting outside of the gate of the couple’s (my son and his wife) house. Besides not having anything to do outside, I am a very domesticated virgin (LOL)!

The first two (2) days went fairly well. But the third was absolutely different anymore. All those sufferings I mentioned above got worst. I did not say a word to my son as I was very sure what his automatic response will be – rush me to a hospital (in this far away strange city. Ugh! Just the thought of it gives me goose bumps)! And so the pain went on… until I decided to visit my email. One letter contained information regarding fibromyalgia and anxiety disorder. When I read it, it perfectly translated to what I was badly experiencing. I searched Wikipedia to understand more about anxiety disorder (because even if I graduated Psychology I must admit I have very limited knowledge pertaining Clinical Psychology, which deals more with pathology). I was dumbfounded in realizing how dumb I was when I read about anxiety disorder. I didn’t know I was suffering from a disorder at all until that time! I thought that I was okay. It was only in learning the cause of this affliction that I realize how badly I was torn, shattered, as a matter of fact, from the very depths of my soul unto my body. Anxiety disorder is a result of repeated series of traumatic events suffered by an individual. That is how it is described as its definition. That being done and understood, I went through my usual self-CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) or most popularly known as “talk therapy”. This is mostly the process where I get to know and heal myself more. After this, immediately the following day, consider it a miracle, but my pain eased – I was relieved.

After my usual “thank you prayer” I got to really think very seriously the reason for the “miracle”. And then I also answered me, that maybe each cell of our tissues has a form of communication to the rests on their own. But to simplify the matter is better. So it got me to believe what I once read: that when information reaches our awareness, that information will greatly help us. Or in Jesus’ words: what you bring forth within, you will save you…! Once again I remembered Dr. Mehmet Oz’s (the author of the medical series books, YOU) words: “you have to be the expert of your own self.” We each have to help our self heal because in healing only it is that we will move forward as one.

Now, as I get older each passing day, I continue to discover my limitations and maybe latent potentialities (nothing is impossible, you know) despite my age. One of shampoos advertisements has this beautiful lady exclaiming: age is but numbers and young is an attitude! I pray God gives me the right attitude which always comes with proper perspectives.

My love every one! God bless…!

FOR ART’S SAKE (“Kuno”)

To one of my students, who I found very pleasing, was where my well-loved book, Eric Berne’s GAMES PEOPLE PLAY, went. I felt a little regret giving away that book, but because he is a person whose personality is a common target of annoying people, it was the most fitting book to share, hopefully to help him lighten his load and ease his pain that he may not lose his way.

God knows what is in our hearts. When my son was sent back to training in the U.S.A. and asked me what book was it that I wanted from him as a “something” when he comes back, I spontaneously requested for the same book he bought for me the first time he was there, the book I gave – Games People Play.

When I got the book and I read it over again, I started from literally the first pages of it, because unlike the first time where I was too excited to learn of the different games that people play, this time I was more into learning what could have been it was I probably missed. The regretful feeling in my parting with this book was coming from probably missing something, I thought. Preface, Introduction – page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and whoa, I really did miss a very great part of it, the three (3) different kinds of man’s hunger!

The first two (2) hungers, stimulus and recognition, I understood already having as well spotted numbers of manifestations from different people afflicted by these hungers. But the last one, structure hunger, I still have to think more clearly and observe its symptoms/signs or manifestations. But I realized already their interconnections.

Then I found one, in this rather distasteful & shameful controversy in Mideo Cruz’s ‘Poleteismo’ which was wrongfully decided by the CCP Management for public viewing. No, I am not all offended despite my loyalty as a follower of Christ and as a Catholic. Because more like Jesus and Mother Mary, I can take everything. And just like them, too, I can only cry for the lost people like Mideo and the CCP Management. At kung pwede din ako’ng umiyak ng dugo, dugo din ang ilalabas ng mga mata ko, tulad nila Hesus at Birheng Maria.

My good friend and brother-in-Christ, Rev. Fr. Rod San Jose, OFM, sent me a text message a long time ago (miss you, Rod…): “FREEDOM IS NOT ABOUT SAYING OR DOING ANYTHING WE WANT TO SAY OR DO ANYTIME OR ANYWHERE.” That is so far as I can remember, the rest I already forgot. But the shorter, the better. The thought is what counts most anyways. But I’d like to think na maybe may kasamang ganito ‘yon: FREEDOM IS ALL ABOUT RESPECT.
People who are disrespectful of others and their belief system probably grew up (we must limit our thinking to theoretical opinions to avoid judgment) in either overly rigid or extremely lenient environment – where boundaries/limits were unclear; or they were simply boxed-in rather than accepted/respected and, yes, understood but rightfully disciplined. Chances are, rather than being heard and loved they were made to follow the systematic dogma or pattern that was long set before their being born. ’Yung mga paniniwala at sistemang masyadong matagal na matagal nang napag-iwanan ng panahon!
As “artists” their expression of what has been brewing in their hearts and minds, since only – of course – they know, exploded when they found what they think is the right timing for it. When a person with a dark soul like this finds the same kind of soul in another person/s, then their agendum is met and their transaction complete. Notice the words of Plato: “O, youth or young man, who fancy that you are neglected by the Gods, know that if you become worse you shall go to the worse souls, or if better to the better…” (“birds of the same feather …” ‘ikanga).

As “artists” their constant struggle is to be set free. Free to express whatever they think need to be expressed. Their problem lies in their unconscious knowledge of what it is exactly that imprisons them and who imprisoned them to that “what”. Lumaki silang katulad ng mga batang hindi matukoy kung alin ang masakit sa kanila sa mga panahong masama ang pakiramdam nila.

There are two (2) ways by which a human being is known. They are through works or words. We are given away not only by what we say, but also by what we do. An artwork is a self-reflection more than it is an expression. This is where the importance of psychology is. But a Godless psychology must be meticulously spotted also because the absence of a God is very, very dangerous to the soul. This is highly observable in this modern day, that through the proliferation of pop psychology so many people are going berserk, sa paniwalang tama sila. It is through them that our young generation is corrupted.
Actually, it is not Jesus they hate, nor Mother Mary. It is not even their religion, I think. It is the people who introduced them to these. Their form of expression is simply a displacement of anger or frustration or whatever negative feeling it maybe. It is their confusion that calls this expression an “art”.

Religion is a form of structure, yes, but because it forms part of a family’s belief system it must be that the family structure is sturdy, made of unshakable foundations consisting of good morals and value systems, and not just systematized dogmas and other what-have-you’s. As early as possible the children must be able to observe good behavior and relationships from their elders in the home, especially their parents, as it is in the purity of childhood that all the chakras are open. This is the reason why we say: “copy-paste” la an mga anak san kag-anak or their exact opposites. The right form of intimacy in the family must stand out for the children to mimic in order for them to form the habit needed in their growing up.

The most problematic parents, who become excess baggage of their children eventually, are the parents who instill in their young minds’ the instruction: “follow what I say, not what I do!” The children are disgraced, and are therefore discouraged, at a fairly young age. I know of someone dearest and closest to my heart whose poetic artistry was underestimated by his teacher (a supposed second parent outside of his own home), who did not believe he actually wrote it. As a result of the teacher’s discouragement he did not pursue his love for writing poetry – which could have been his self-fulfillment having found his passion in his youth. Sayang. I have a precious friend whose painting prowess I admire, but because he was boxed-in by constantly comparing him to his elder brother, whose personality is completely opposite his, that until now in his forty-something years, hidden from his family he continues to be addicted in dope. Very sad! I don’t know what to feel for his little children. All I know is, I need to pray for them. And that I need to continue to love them, not only because they are my friends, but more because they are my brothers.

Fr. John Monborquette, OMI, in his book HOW TO BEFRIEND YOUR SHADOW, informs that the spirituality of a person happens only twice in a lifetime, in youth and in midlife. Spirituality is a search for what is GOOD, BEAUTIFUL and TRUE. If this search is discouraged in youth, there is a great chance for a person to get stuck unless his consciousness is raised through his willingness and cooperation. In fact, in the recently concluded seminar/workshop, sponsored by a non-government agency in our locality and where some of our Office’s social workers were attendees, titled: Beginning Family Therapy, it was importantly disseminated that most of our co-Filipinos are mainly stuck, not pathologic.

Everyone must take care of each one. But before anyone can take care of the other, he must first take care of his/her self. The structure that I needed then, because much like you, maybe, I also was raised in a rather dysfunctional family, was a self-structure whose faith looks up at something or someone bigger and above me; who or which is inside me; and who or which is consciously aware how to best take care of everyone like me. And I felt the urgency to own that something or someone. To do that, I need idols whose lives are worth of emulation. As I am only a human being who is inclined to commit mistakes, these idols I need to keep in my heart to remind me constantly how they sacrificed and won the battle. Everybody loves a winner. Nobody loves a loser.

If we prefer and decide to get stuck also in our old forms of belief system, as supposed-to-be responsible adults or “moral guardians” then, I’m deeply and honestly sorry for the young generation/s because we will never ever increase their awareness and bring them to the next level. Kaya patuloy lang ang pag-ikot natin sa tinatawag na vicious cycle. To continue Plato’s words reflected above: “…and in every succession of life and death, you will do and suffer what like may fitly suffer at the hands of the like. This is the justice of Heaven.”

Mideo will definitely have his time – that, we can be sure of. But for now, after what has been done, we need to concentrate on its ill effects to our young. We need to repair the damage done to them however small or big it maybe the soonest possible time. The task will be difficult, especially for those inexperienced and who lacks understanding and patience. An officemate-mother experienced this when her little child asked her. Regardless, every one of us must be sensitive enough to patiently address the young’s need for recovery and understanding about things important to their well being and our society as a whole.
Let us continue to pray “for Christ’s sake”, who poured out his blood to redeem us na sinasayang lang at niyuyurakan pa ng iba, at ‘di pa na-kontento ay nandadamay pa ng mga pobre at inosenteng iba. God forgive them!
May God have mercy on us and continue to guide us through Jesus and Mother Mary.





__________
Editor’s note:

The quote regarding freedom may have been based on one from Pope John Paul II in which he says:

"Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought."

SAME-SEX MARRIAGE: HOW GRAVE A SIN IS IT?

Just like the majority of us, I am one of those who were and are still greatly offended by the great controversy regarding the latest fad involving gays and lesbians. This is not to say that I am condemning them. Never! I have tried so hard to understand things especially people and their accompanying behavior that I practically and wholeheartedly came to love them no matter, knowing perfectly well the difference between loving and liking.

Let me begin by telling you, dear friends, that since my high school days my first ever good friend was a gay. I was then in an identity crisis like him, enough reason for us to attract each other. He was very dear to me that news about his death (he was my classmate and he died when I was barely in my first year of college) not only came to me as a surprise but it really made me so sad. I cried. Just like many of them, his self-inflicted death (because it was not really intended as a suicide) was due to un-acceptance by his own family. Up until now, I am still good friends with many gays and lesbians. I find it even more openly comfortable now being friends with them because of my wider understanding about their probable behavioral beginnings.
When news broke out though, about the ceremonial wedding of their kind (same sex), I was devastated by their personal decisions to be, but more by the supposed authorities who wedded them. A graduate of Psychology, I later enrolled and took up Guidance and Counseling as my major subject for a master’s degree (but has not been able to write my thesis yet), mainly intending to help people understand people. But no matter how elaborate I make or expand my personal understanding (by reading books of substance also) I will remain to be affected by the transgressions my brethren make. Yes, I do clearly understand that calling every little mistake a sin will only make matters worse rather then help a person grow up. But neither can letting them absolutely be also!

“Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” These were words of wisdom uttered by I forgot who already, but because these are powerful words for change, I do not ever forget. The problem I see with people in authority whose moral backgrounds remain unchecked until they rose to power is their hastiness to implement action disregarding the gravity that it will cause to the society as a whole.

“Transformation is a nature of every human being, and the Universe it self. (Deepak Chopra)” But the transformation that is happening over periods of time, maybe especially now, is for the worse. And I can see very clearly also that our Godless mentality is a prime factor for this negative transformation. Now it is easy for me to understand why in the progression sessions of Dr. Brian Weiss (because his practice has already evolved), some of his patients are allegedly seeing or actually being in a world where the inhabitants are greatly minimized.

One of my son’s favorite lines is from Abraham Lincoln, which he posted one time in his Facebook account states: “Everyone can withstand difficulty; but if you want to test a man’s character give him power.” A person cannot develop a strong character nowadays because he has not been made to get emotionally strong but is kept being shielded by the parents (biological or surrogate) from emotional trials in his growing up. That is one of the possible reasons. Another can perhaps be because he was trained to deal with his emotionality by himself – the reason for his emotional suppression or repression. Then and now our society’s resolve is to keep experimenting – as if people are mere guinea pigs.

Anatomically speaking, for the longest time already marriage has been an emotional co-dependency, and nothing else (your violent reaction is most welcome), same sex or not! And it has been translated into where sex can be done without limits, thus feel no guilt about it whatsoever. The union is made “legal” for such purpose alone. It’s as if the marriage will erase the burden of the reality of conscience, the God within us.

God made only two (2) sexes as a matter of fact: a man and a woman. The other resulting sexes are man-made (or human-made). They are a result of our discrimination out of ignorance and our disobedience. The effect of the injustices we made. And as if our stubbornness is not enough yet, some misguided or blind authorities of their church went further down the ditch by conforming and tying the knot. They pinned our brethren down to their mistakes. They bound them to hell. “A blind leading a blind.”, matter of fact. Hindi kelan man magiging tama ang mali ng isa pang mali.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change; to change the things that I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.” Our being born with the gender that we are is one of God-given features that we need to accept. Our life’s events (archaic), nor that of our ancestors’ (archetype) must have nothing to do with it. Our sex urges or sexual preference/s must be tightly anchored to our reality. There can never be a justification for a sin against God. If we begin to reject our own self or the God in us, then it is but rightful for us to be rejected eventually. God can only be present in a person who accepts. Let’s begin our self-introspection with our reality.

Carl Gustav Jung’s archaic and archetype form of energies must be understood as things that we can change because they are both outside us. No matter the difficulty, emotional especially, we can change them with our determination and with God’s power of mercy and grace. It is not that we cannot find happiness if we are alone or without a partner. We definitely can, because God made us complete since birth. It is our sins that ruined our completeness. And we became sinful because of our ignorance. Satan took advantage of that ignorance to drive us nuts some more by instilling in us fear. It is fear that brought us insecurity. So, man has to resort even to the most perverted scheme to attain happiness and security. “My will be done.” God forgive them…!
Unless we decide to put order into our lives by bringing God back again, we can neither find peace nor sustain our happiness. We need to co-operate with our God. We need to always look up to not lose our way. Our mission here for our self is independence, to be complete. Our reality is, “we came here alone, we will leave here also alone. (Mary Latella: HEALING THE FAMILY)” Independence can only happen when there is complete dependence with our God. Until then there will be no sincere interdependence with one another. Personal motives will abound and injustices will continue. At magiging pakonti nang pakonti na nga ang tao sa mundong ito, marahil dahil na nga talaga sa sinasabi nilang, “survival of the fittest”. Father, Your Will be done.

It is my prayer for you not to misjudge me by thinking that it is easy for me to say the things that I am saying because I had been alone for some time now and that I am a woman. No, I beg your pardon. Certainly there is no such thing as gender-differences, and of course, age does not matter. What you find difficult, have been difficult also for me. Tao din po ako, at ‘di ako naiiba sa inyo. But I deal with my issues accordingly by living each moment at a time. And I try to balance my thinking before I go and make a decision, always abiding by God’s Will for me. It is in that sense that I am in no way any different from you because, we were given the same greatest gift of the power of the mind. The differences that were instilled in our mind frames came from power-search, a “conspiracy theory”. For a patriarchal society that is the Philippines, these differences are numerous and as well, outrageous!

But I have no room for outrage anymore. Rather all I have is for forgiveness and understanding. These are the good effects of acceptance, change, and my constant asking for God’s Wisdom. It is only that, I needed to write what I have in my mind to leave space for those that will be coming more. God has infinite Wisdom that is needed for a man’s/woman’s mind to fill his/her heart, for it not to tire and lose the interest to love and give that love away.

The desire for sex (or I prefer to call it love-making because my belief system tells me that sex can only be beautiful in God’s time, at the right place, and between two GODly man and woman) comes from our hormones which hormones are secreted by what is called neuro-chemical triggers. This is just a repeat of what I have already made mentioned in the past regarding Susan Fisher’s theory reflected in her book, WHY WE LOVE. Testosterone is the hormone responsible for awakening the sexual urge. This is to say then that for as long as a person’s mental health is capable of producing testosterone, then he/she is capable of having sex. The problem that frequently results from indiscriminate or undisciplined sex is the habit that is formed along with it.

The dangerous attachment to the habit is that: along with age, testosterone triples its secretion that sexual experimentation is most often sought because only one or two partners of whatever gender cannot satisfy the sexual appetite anymore! I was shocked when I heard this in a British TV Channel, as a new scientific finding, where they featured men, specifically, who consented to be interviewed as living evidence. This does not, however, exclude women. But because this unfortunate eventuality mostly involves men, it is but fitting to feature men. Some women who suffer from the resulting consequence we can probably refer to as, exception to the rule. The ill-effect of loveless sex, and pity the people who are buried in it!

Boys, for as long as you are stuck in your simple-mindedness, that boys will always think of and have sex, because you prefer to stay that way, then I can just pray for you. And girls, for as long as you do not change your mind set, that your best power to hold and capture a partner is through sex, because you also prefer to be that way, then you will also get stuck and just like your “bitter half” you will fail to become a woman of grace. So it is then, siring pa, “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” Mag-gamitan kayo. You deserve each other anyways. This is in as far as sex is concerned – the logical side of our story.

Now, let me talk to you about patience and understanding: where boys are impatient with the seeming unreasonableness of women; and women are tired of the endless insensitivity of men. No one between them is willing to understand the other. And both are proud to get counsel from somewhere. Both of them want to rid of each other because it is easier and simple. As if each one has a ready replacement na parang spare parts lang – this is the relational side of the story.

Same sex marriage is a simple preference para mapadali ang buhay. “I don’t like you to bother me with your issues because I have issues of my own. We can live with less stress if we don’t discuss each other’s personal issues. I would like us to just have fun, in any way we can. No obligation must come alongside it. If that’s okay with you then let’s get set and go!” This is men’s logic instructing men.

On the other side women’s relational aspect dictates: “I am a little girl, in need of caress and longing to be cared for, that I need your time and attention to fill the void in. You must understand where I am coming from and must be always patient with me, if you can give me that then let’s get together.”

The problem with an imbalanced life is that it is not only impatient and short of understanding but it leads to chauvinism/inflated self-esteem and martyrdom/deflated self-esteem. Rather than take the difficult journey, whatever shorter and easier road to travel the way to happiness is taken – and in their short-sightedness, perversion is the only road there is!

The marriage that you and I need is a marriage between our own masculine and feminine characteristics (Gary Zukav); the friendship between our white and dark shadow (Fr. John Monborquette, OMI); the reconnection of our twin soul (Ted Andrews); the relationship between our Brother Sun - the symbol of wisdom, and our Sister Moon - the symbol of emotion (St. Francis and St. Clare of Assisi); and finding our androgyny – the balance between our left and right brain (Daniel Goleman). Always, these two (2) aspects of the self are allies in the battle against a common enemy: illusion (Deepak Chopra), for ONLY LOVE IS REAL (Jesus Christ). Only a complete person can give and love completely. Only a complete man and a complete woman can make imperfections perfect in a marriage because of their forbearance for each other’s imperfections.

In the end, I pray for those who decided to enter and commit themselves into the same sex marriage and I pray hardly more for their church authorities who made the MOCK MARRIAGE – a marriage of illusion. Can it be called a blasphemy? I am not much of a moralist actually, even if I sound like I am, that is why I need to ask. Whatever, my prayers for all of us remain.
“It is not by looking into the light that we become luminous, but by plunging into the darkness. However, this is often unpleasant work, and therefore, not very popular.” Carl Gustav Jung.

Think more seriously because most of the time the truth lies beneath the unpopularity of things.

See you another time, dear friends!

RH Bill and the Church’s Approach to Oppose It

On the outset I would like to emphasize that I am a Catholic from the very beginning and had never been affiliated with any religion outside of it (not even in my wildest dreams, in the knowledge that religion-hopping is very much the same with lover-hopping, as a result of confusion), thereby making me a very strong oppositionist of abortion. While this is true, however, I do not adhere to the approach of our Church’s authorities to curb or stop the approval, much less implementation, of the proposed RH Bill.

The truth to the matter is, I had been hearing news about the way our authorities attacked the issue at hand, but did not believe any of it until I heard of one incorporating the matter in his homily. I paid due respect to everything the preacher said because as has been said "everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion".

Yes, indeed, "everyone is entitled to his/her opinion" that I am making this old adage my jumpstart to writing my own. From the time I woke up to matters related to metaphysics and the metaphysical world in relation to our Creator I carried with me my motto that "life is meant for friendships and service". My awakening led me to live my life accordingly.
It is also in the same manner that I wish for our Church to approach our fight to oppose the RH Bill. The world is faced with enumerable fighting already that we cannot afford to add up on its toll anymore. The so-called "love revolution" must be our weapon of destruction to destroy the evilness of this bill. I see no hope in fighting an evil if our strategy is "an evil for an evil". Only LOVE DESTROYS EVIL.

My point is, I would like to give the proponents of the bill the benefit of the doubt: that they might have written this bill in haste because they are pressured by the ever-rising population count that is greatly resulting in a more skewed or financial imbalance in the country (aside from greed and corruption, of course). Doing anything in haste, as we know, is a product of impatience and ignorance. Be that as it may, they are but doing their job being there in the political arena. They cannot do otherwise. They had to do what they think is expected of them. This matter of fact is on the one hand.

On the other hand (following the separation of the state/government and the Church), the Church also feels and thinks that it is doing what is morally expected of them as well, as they are what we call our "moral guardians". With what the Church is doing however, i clearly see no difference in its approach from that of the government’s: both of them employed the EASY WAY OUT. Meaning, both of them did everything in haste and ignorance. I apologize very sincerely for being blunt.

Unfamiliar with the SOP’s (standard operating procedures) of the highest office of the land (Malacanang Palace), I could only surmise that only the cream of the crop were assigned to formulate the RH Bill. If this has been so, then, the Church must do the same. Find the most fitting counterpart to strategize, but always according also to what is expected of them.
The Church history tells us that it had never been easy to follow Christ’s ways. In this evil-laden land it is and never will be easy. We have got to take our cue from that understanding. We have to have patience, for is patience not a virtue? And we must study/research hard, for is not ignorance our greatest enemy? It is an absolute certainty to put up a fight and not feel good about it if we are fighting bitterly, for "only a virtuous man is a happy man. (MY WAY OF LIFE: The Confraternity of Blood)"

The problem lies in our neurosis which led to paranoia (M. Scott Peck: THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED). Because we allowed this to take over us, we are now fighting out of our FEAR, specifically, unfortunately the "fear of the unknown". We have forgotten Jesus Christ’s words for us "not to worry".

To choose to decide to move out of fear is to lose the battle because that is what we are sending the universe, SIMPLY because whatever we think, say, and do is always a form of prayer: "what we send out is sent us back (Rhonda Dyrne: THE SECRET)." Our choice is an indication of mistrust or a lack of Faith.

In a world of great moral degeneration, there is an equally great need for assessment where the gross moral degeneration came from and what caused them. To me, only if we have saturated the probable answers to these questions can we help our people effectively and more accurately. That if Wisdom comes only from God, and we are a people of God – entrusted by His Only Son Jesus Christ, then we have to lead our people to understanding these very important matters.
It is only by appealing to our people’s reason and emotion that we can convince them to be a part of us and for what we believe in. But said advocacy must be done with utmost sincerity, credibility, and care. Integrity is an all-important aspect of a leader or a preacher. Let us begin asking ourselves if we are indeed in a right position of delivering the message before we even begin speaking. Or we will never get our message across, ever!

"Life is meant for friendships and service." Just like we are in our own family, father or mother tells us "do not do this, do not do that!" We ask why? They say: "because it’s wrong!" We ask further, what makes it wrong? We are told again: "it just is!" Or "shut up!" That is if we are lucky to get an answer, no matter how painful the answer maybe. Another scenario of a supposed home is the absence of the parent or both because of financial reasons. And another is the physical presence but emotional absence of the parent or the both of them (because some are. Let’s always face and accept the reality).

These are but some of the enumerable frightening unhealthy scenarios of a "house but not a home". Ignorance is the main culprit to each of these painful eventualities in a supposed home of every family. Because of ignorance, friendship in the home is usually absent. As a result, isn’t it but normal for service to be absent, when friendship is not present? Both the parents and the children are hungry for answers.

Sad, but SIMPLY because they do not and can not find the answers (for lack of knowledge) in their own respective homes, they resort to endless EASY WAYS such as violence, threats, anger, or any form of rebellion (sex included) as an expression of frustration. Hopelessness is "killing" practically everyone!

Now tell me, is it any wonder why kids nowadays (or maybe even before) are running away, both literally and figuratively, from home? It is in the home where most kids begin to be wounded. Their being accustomed to "running away" made them "little boys and girls" forever, pretending to be men and women as they went through their supposed adult lives (Eric Berne: GAMES PEOPLE PLAY). They carried their wounds even in their growing up years. This is the psycho-dynamic of every man and woman (third sex included. Or if there be a fourth, fifth, and so on. Nobody is spared).

We are here to HEAL, to give HOPE. But how are we to effect healing if we are ourselves wounded yet, SIMPLY because we chose and continue to choose to be also ignorant?
Loveless "sex is one of the manifestations of emotional pain/s. (Gregory L. Jantz: HEALING THE SCARS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE)." The problem of population explosion (if they prefer to call it that) does not just happen without valid reason, and it did not happen overnight. The reason had been there right from the start – during the first fall of our humankind, and had been passed on since then. We all went through time ("…in our succession of life and death." Plato) without paying serious attention to it because we were cowed at looking deeply at our very self and getting out of our comfort zones. We settled in the comfort of mediocrity. Where and what gave us solace became our refuge. We forgot our God’s promise of eternity and of joy – which can be found also on earth. We doubted that, just like Him, we can be Holy. We gave in to the desires of our flesh because it’s SIMPLER and EASY to do so. We always succumb to the SIMPLE and EASY WAY OUT.

Loveless sex is nothing but LUST. It comes from a desire of the flesh, because there is something to forget. It is done to comfort the self. It is, therefore, a forsaking of the soul. Love involves peace, care, concern, truth, and respect. It always thinks of justice.

Only LOVE HEALS. When we have increased our knowledge through God’s Wisdom, we understand better and able to expand our capacity to love no matter. Eventually we settle in peace and tranquility (through the blessed gift of temperance) that God will take care of everything, even those that we consider the most difficult ones.

There couldn’t be any prayer better than asking "God to give us the serenity to accept the things that we can change, and accept those that we cannot change, and the Wisdom to know the difference." But this asking must also be coupled with a full awareness that the change must begin within our self (also called SELF-MASTERY), because it is almost nearly impossible to change anything and anybody outside of us. The change that we are seeking must begin inside of every one of us first and foremost. "The longest journey is the journey to the self."
Until then we will never be in any position to oppose. Love, and let it flow. Begin by loving, through knowing and accepting, your own self first. Rest assured that when you have done so, whatever you say and declare shall be accepted. And even if they are not accepted by others, "you will never feel rejected because you know that nobody can reject you.(Brian Weiss, M.D.: ONLY LOVE IS REAL)", for you have been "prepared for people to hate you for awhile. (Alan Loy McGinnis: THE FRIENDSHIP FACTOR)" The feeling of anger and frustration is far from a person who has self-mastery for he/she is guided by Jesus Christ’s compassionate words which says: "God, forgive them for they know not what they do."

The seven (7) energy centers (Gary Zukav: SEAT OF THE SOUL) speaks of the genitals as the first center, and the top of our head as the seventh. My personal reflection about this tells me that indiscriminate, unfaithful or loveless sex is a clear indication that the devil employs sex in his relentless attempt to be number one. And he (the devil) is achieving his goal through the SIMPLE-minded, wounded-people. The ill-effect of ignorance is indeed devastating!
The sixth energy center is situated in between the eyes or the center of the forehead which, to me, is associated with the mind. "An idle mind is the bastion of Satan." And number 6 is associated as the devil’s number (this explains why more and more people are turning to psychologists or psychiatrists for help). Compare that to the seventh center which is God’s number, and therefore, the perfect number. Thinking is not the only answer. We must pray! God is the answer that we must "lift everything up to God. "

Energy is what makes a matter moves. In human beings, our soul is what makes us alive. It is the energy of the physical body. If our soul departs from our body, we will be dead. Constantly giving in to the desires of our body is taking the soul for granted. This makes us living dead.
The fight is between the body and the soul. I maybe wrong, but to me this suggests that this definitely goes the same way with the controversy that we are facing today regarding the RH Bill. The government authorities are taking into account what they SIMPLISTICALLY think is for the good of the body (physical); while the Church authorities must face the concerns of those that are good for the soul (abstract).

As can be easily observed, the intervention for the physical is SIMPLE compared to the intervention that must be carried out for the good of the soul. The work at hand for the Church is COMPLICATED (as there are yet so many things to be aware of concerning the nature of man/woman that must be included in the advocacy) that it must be planned and implemented patiently, painstakingly, and thoroughly with utmost care, love, respect, and understanding, for human beings are complex beings – beings of physical and soul, both of evil and good. If I may remind you with all due respect, we are told and are expected always to GO BEYOND MEDIOCRITY, beyond being SIMPLE.

The road for those working for the good of the soul is both narrow and long. We have to remember that our people had/have been walking along the path of narrow-mindedness so long, that we have to carry the burden. If we are here to help one another as moral guardians, then we have to sacrifice. SACRIFICE, as we know, is the ULTIMATE WAY to help our people find themselves and gain their eternal freedom. Jesus showed us that. It is not by sheer coincidence ("there are no coincidences or accidents in life." St. Rita) that we remember His Sacrifices as we celebrate the Lenten Season. "…the greatest must be a Servant."

"Spiritual maturity is a balance between reason and emotion." Thinking alone, as can be seen clearly now, will never accomplish the job; but neither LOVING SIMPLISTICALLY also. Applied loving has to be done on a case-to-case basis because "no two persons are exactly alike". Each one is a unique individual. And each transaction is never the same every time. That is why there is a great importance for each of us to know the difference between "sweet and tough loving". This is but another proof how human beings have become complicated over very long period of time. This means to say then that, we must double our time and effort to gain enough knowledge, thereby widen our horizons, if we are truly sincere to help our brethren.
LOVE CORRECTS, but the strategy will be either or both appealing and distasteful. In handling humans we must put extra care, love, respect and understanding in order to penetrate the heart and mind of every living soul. Moral guardians, therefore, must learn and unlearn so much if they wish to carry on with their duty, lest they get weary. The complexity of man makes our task even more burdensome. But we cannot afford to surrender. We are made to attack the evils of our society, in the most sensible way.

Love, pray, and continue to open the minds of our brethren by opening your minds to the greater or endless possibilities because "knowledge can only flow to the open minds. And learning is more important than judgment. (Brian L. Weiss, M.D.: ONLY LOVE IS REAL)". Our greatest consolation is in knowing that: our burden is light, compared to Jesus Christ’s Cross, which is even made lighter by God’s grace in our complete surrender to do His Will.
Only Jesus Christ has been sent to save the world. We are made for purposes of loving and helping one another. "We are here to build bridges rather than walls. (John Powell: I LOVE YOU JUST BECAUSE)" We are to "love our enemy". Yes, it maybe that whatever we do will always fall short because we are mere followers of Jesus. We are but His "second-rate, trying-hard copycats". But we must give and do our best. At least we did our job in a most peaceful and loving manner, as we are all brothers and sisters in one big family of God.


My ardent prayers everyone!


[Written this 8th day of May, in the year of our Risen-Lord, 2011.]

LOVE: THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE OF THE SOUL

On the 27th of January 2011 we found ourselves visited by a foreigner client which is not unusual in our office. He is one of those visitors in our land who cry foul for an alleged injustice done them by their Filipino/Filipina spouse or partner. He is a father-complainant and vowed to be just after the welfare of a kid between them, as is always the case. What most intrigued me and caught my interest was his declaration of his being a “universalist”.

My personal definition of a Universalist is, he/she is a person who is not bounded by any belief system. Radically, a person of this kind is called an iconoclast. Judging from the initial and very raw information I got from my officemates who conducted the research-interviews, I could already see the BIG difference between me and him (as I am also a self-declared Universalist). What is our big difference? It’s SELF-MASTERY!

I truly feel every pain he is feeling as I am also a parent. His problem is his inability to see things clearly and objectively because he chooses to be consistently bounded by his “fear of the unknown”. He is so overpowered by his anxiety of what the future may bring to his only child. For a self-confessed womanizer, this resulting fear is normal to happen because paranoia is but a natural effect of neurosis.

In my personal choice of religion there is a line that goes during the Doxology in the Holy Eucharist: “…keep us away from sin and protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope…”. This line I so appreciate despite the words that follow because wala naman kasi talagang perfect sa world na ito eh. If this world is perfect, then, imperfect as we are, we are not fit to live here. It is, for me, enough to believe in Jesus’ words: “do not worry.”

I believe that when Jesus Christ redeemed us by His precious blood, we have been cleansed of every sin. We became pure again. And during His resurrection when He promised to be in each one of us, He is indeed, through the Holy Spirit. He has to verbalize the Promise because He knows how easily we yield to temptations, so we commit sins. He has to stay in our heart because, humans as we are, our mind is easy to corrupt. So that it is really all up to each one of us to save our self every time we fall to temptation, thus, because He is just there inside of us, our every heart, waiting for us to be recognized. This is my simple understanding of “…the coming of our Savior.” (aside from, of course, Jesus’ BIG COMING BACK!) It is always by choice that we save our self and rise up again. Our continuous resolve is to always better the next time…or else we become bitter. Joke!

A universalist whose Faith is shaken by his own thoughts is in grave danger – of death (kaya grave). When we trust our own self as our source to solving the problem that bothers us, it is an indirect suicide – we kill our spirit little by little by so doing. What’s worse, we involve others in the plunge.

There is a lot to understand about our own self first. Without self-mastery, it is impossible for us to clear up our mind, see things at a vantage point, understand others, find peace and tranquility, and attain flexibility to be able to adapt effectively to life and living. For sometime we, my close friends and I, had a joke regarding people who thought for themselves as “very self-reliant” people: “ta, patay, diri maiha magbabalyo gud iton ngaran – diri ngani Brenda, Manda (referring to “brain damage” or off to “Mandaluyong”, where the National Mental Institute is located, respectively)!” Maybe even, God Forbid, the worst case scenario recently – that of Gen. Angelo Reyes’ suicide. God bless his soul!

It is very important, a MUST in fact, that we gain self-mastery if we claim to love our self. To love our own self is to take care of our own soul. We must choose the soul our priority over the body because only then can we understand what and how it is truly to love.

The yearning of the soul is always to Love – or to God – because He created us out of His Love for us (kaya Siya ang source of all good). That is why it is very important to emphasize in our belief system that “God is Love”. It is through the reclaiming of the soul where we can see and regard one another as souls, not mere flesh, and thus, need to be respected and yes, loved.

If we go back to our discussion of the anthropologist, Ms. Fisher, who found out and discussed the reasons in her book WHY WE LOVE, nowhere can we find love in our neuro-chemical triggers that are causing the hormonal secretion for our alleged “loving”. She made mention that humans have lust, romance, and attachment – these, we interpreted as “love”. These findings are very clear indications that Love is really situated in our heart – where Jesus is waiting. The great confusion is precisely the effect of our mediocrity, our simplistic thinking. So the price we pay for the great confusion is also great – to the grave gud!

In Jesus we are made to understand by God about His power. Our search for power is ended by it. Through it we finally settle in humility, having seen and understood much the mysteries of life on earth. We give up the things that do not really matter in the realization that it is only Love that matters after all. Unless we have done that, however we claim to be universalists, nobody will understand what we mean when we say the word because we do not understand it our self. We have to live what we say. It is only by so doing that we can get our message across.

Cultural differences are clear indications of our separation or division as brothers and sisters in one big family of God. If they say that both religion and politics are the reasons of the warring of the world, then we must resolve it by both: going beyond religion and; redirecting our resolve by adopting that “the political is personal” (Gloria Steinem, REVOLUTION FROM WITHIN). Howard Gardner’s MULTIPLE INTELLIGENCES also made mention about the importance of that, when he mentioned about personal relationships, both intrapersonal and interpersonal.
The avoidance of confronting our personal issues always leads us eventually to unhappiness and failure because wherever we are led by our destiny we will not escape to be with others. We will always co-exist, as we are made for one another.

I had been smitten by the study and findings of Dr. Brian Weiss about reincarnation. I am not at all, however, disregarding my old concept of hell, as I still question the destiny of the souls of the people who se mortal sins have not been truly repented before death. For this reason, I am really dying to read and gather more information about it – reincarnation. The way I see things right now, I am convinced that the idea that “we live in circles” goes up and down, meaning, both in this world and the metaphysical world. We live; we die; we live again; we die again and; on and on the cycle keeps repeating, only because we refuse to learn our lessons. So, the big question is: when are we finally going to learn?

Maybe then, the best intervention to be able to really help is to teach people the need to be good. However mediocre our intervention maybe, at least, we gave or did our best. Receptivity is difficult to capture, usually because of pride, that without it we can never get to the bottom of the real problem.

“Life is difficult.” goes the opening salvo of one of Dr. M. Scott Peck’s THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED trilogy. When my seminarian son went, to take up his pre-college study, in a “far-away-from-home” the first time, his home-sickness was so overpowering that I had to remind him that, if he has to follow Jesus Christ – as His disciple – then he has to also be like Him – a citizen of the world!

Emotionality is one of the evil forces’ ploys to get us to join them. It is merely in our head. It stems from our insecurity that was caused by losing our trust usually when we were kids (at least for the majority. Me? I was broken hard emotionally at age 17). And there are numerous varying reasons why we lose our trust and confidence. We need to find out our uniqueness for us to find out how to hit the right target.

Og Mandino (THE GREATEST SALESMAN IN THE WORLD Part II) tells us that “we each have our own curriculum to follow.” Unlike in school, where there is a different set of curriculum for every particular course to be followed by the student-enrollees, life does not offer the same. My curriculum is distinctly designed for me alone, and yours is yours. This applies for each of us. That is why we need to re-parent our own self. Check everything out starting from the earliest memories. It is by re-parenting our self that we can take hold back again our happy childhood, despite whatever age we are in at the moment. To re-parent our self is to repair what went wrong, by understanding and accepting that “we need to be broken to become whole again”. Remember, education is life itself (John Dewey); but there is a great need to add spirituality to it to make it a “true education” (Ellen Gould White: EDUCATION).

With that, let me end this by quoting Jesus Christ – the true Teacher: “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” (The Gnostic Gospels)

Hanggang sa susunod… kitakits! Happy hearts’ day! God bless everyone!