Retreat (or to treat again; a place of refuge, seclusion or privacy) is one of those needed by every one of us. This is what I discovered just very recently while I was on my very short stay in my son and his wife’s house. And being in a place where I was most of the time by myself, literally and metaphorically (the couple is working on a graveyard shift), my only communication with friends was through the social networking sites, because the couple’s worldwide web connection is 24/7.
During these occasions – of being in the computer – I was many times tempted to share/post this on my wall: “It is an important necessity for us to take a retreat, once a year at the very least, in whatever way/s we can for 1001 reasons!” But I did not want to mislead as I have this observation regarding concepts and understanding. I really think that most of the people have limited knowledge regarding the word “retreat”, as it is mostly understood to have something to do with religiosity, instead of spirituality in connection with our soul, whose language is manifested through our physical body. “It is by SHARING that we become a BLESSING.” Somehow, I kept remembering this particular line, for some reasons. And knowing myself really well, I was certain this won’t stop until I did something about this. Such is the rationale for this article.
A sporty person, I was a tomboy when I was young, I would often grab a chance to walk (my simple form of exercise) as often as I could in my adult life. Approaching my fifties though, I often felt pain in my lower extremities after every brisk walk. I disregarded this matter thinking it was a normal sign of aging. I did my walking alternately in the hope that it will solve the discomfort because there is ample time for repair of used or maybe damaged tissues, or nerve, or whatever that is affected during the exercise, according to my pharmacist best friend. This pattern went well for quite some time, until it was not working anymore. It even went from bad to worse. The muscle pain I was feeling seemed to be all over every part of my body already and it was coupled with fatigue and insomnia. If there were a few times for me to enjoy walking, it was very seldom. And then I realized some more – my memory kept faltering, and sadly the failure would come in time when I needed most to remember something really important and urgent. I was more than sad. I was frustrated!
When my look-alike lady friend offered me to go with her to Manila, as there was much space for more passenger/s in their car, I accepted the invite right away thinking that maybe what I needed was some time off – a breather perhaps. Manila is a place which is frequented when people in the provinces have money to splurge but I sure didn’t have that much money that time. All I had was a little amount to get by once there. I also actually wanted to go with her because the idea of travelling with her, for the first time ever, excited me. Thank you very much, my dear friend Olive!
The following day, immediately after our arrival in Manila, I was fetched by my son to finally spend my short vacation with them in their place outside of Manila – a hilly subdivision which is a wider or larger version of ours here in the province. A true-bloodied “promdi” that I am, I am wont to even getting outside of the gate of the couple’s (my son and his wife) house. Besides not having anything to do outside, I am a very domesticated virgin (LOL)!
The first two (2) days went fairly well. But the third was absolutely different anymore. All those sufferings I mentioned above got worst. I did not say a word to my son as I was very sure what his automatic response will be – rush me to a hospital (in this far away strange city. Ugh! Just the thought of it gives me goose bumps)! And so the pain went on… until I decided to visit my email. One letter contained information regarding fibromyalgia and anxiety disorder. When I read it, it perfectly translated to what I was badly experiencing. I searched Wikipedia to understand more about anxiety disorder (because even if I graduated Psychology I must admit I have very limited knowledge pertaining Clinical Psychology, which deals more with pathology). I was dumbfounded in realizing how dumb I was when I read about anxiety disorder. I didn’t know I was suffering from a disorder at all until that time! I thought that I was okay. It was only in learning the cause of this affliction that I realize how badly I was torn, shattered, as a matter of fact, from the very depths of my soul unto my body. Anxiety disorder is a result of repeated series of traumatic events suffered by an individual. That is how it is described as its definition. That being done and understood, I went through my usual self-CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) or most popularly known as “talk therapy”. This is mostly the process where I get to know and heal myself more. After this, immediately the following day, consider it a miracle, but my pain eased – I was relieved.
After my usual “thank you prayer” I got to really think very seriously the reason for the “miracle”. And then I also answered me, that maybe each cell of our tissues has a form of communication to the rests on their own. But to simplify the matter is better. So it got me to believe what I once read: that when information reaches our awareness, that information will greatly help us. Or in Jesus’ words: what you bring forth within, you will save you…! Once again I remembered Dr. Mehmet Oz’s (the author of the medical series books, YOU) words: “you have to be the expert of your own self.” We each have to help our self heal because in healing only it is that we will move forward as one.
Now, as I get older each passing day, I continue to discover my limitations and maybe latent potentialities (nothing is impossible, you know) despite my age. One of shampoos advertisements has this beautiful lady exclaiming: age is but numbers and young is an attitude! I pray God gives me the right attitude which always comes with proper perspectives.
My love every one! God bless…!
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