MY PROBLEM

Yesterday was a usual day at the office. When l I finished saying my Rosary this morning though, the question posed by my officemate-friend yesterday came back to me and disturbed me. Reflecting, I found out that until I am able to convince myself that I am not bothered anymore and that I am able to air this out, as a person of expression (“what you bring forth within you”) then I cannot rest and attend to other matters. The problem that always confronts me every single time I am in this is the inability to find a person who will listen to me and understand what I am saying about. Although I have about six or seven (6 or 7) of them, they are not physically with me because we have separate lives to live and have missions to fulfill, the things that we were uniquely born to do. So I say, Thank you, Lord, for this venue!

My officemate-friend’s question had something to do with religion, as she is, according to my personal perception of her, a rather very scrupulously religious woman who shuns herself from other opinions about religion and spirituality. A fixed person, for now, I hope. It is because of this personal opinion of her that I dismissed her by not arguing with what she said, after the question, anymore. After the two (2) unfortunate times that I made her “patol” were more than enough lessons for me.

Religion is not only a very sensitive issue to talk, more so if it is to argue about. And before I go further, let me tell you that there is nothing wrong about whatever religion we chose because I see it more as a solution for our search of belongingness to expand our support system which is needed to suffice our stimulus hunger, specifically the psycho-spiritual one. The problem lies in the belief system, of our choice of religion, that we ultimately decided to choose to embrace. If our belief system is stuck in the teachings of our religion alone then our choice of religion, no matter what it is, becomes limiting and therefore, debilitating. The fact that we (this officemate-friend and i) belong in one and the same religion is an attestation. As I cannot speak for other people (she asked particularly, what could have been a particular author’s thought about Jesus, when I shared with them the findings – re reincarnations – of this author in his field of practice) I might just write about mine. So goes the reason for my writing this.

My personal thought and feelings about Jesus is: He is my Brother, my Best friend, my Confidante, my Great Guide, my Inspiration, my Refuge, my, Comfort, my Protector, my Teacher, my Master, my Everything…that I can be the best that I can be and give the best that I can give through Him. Infused within us, He and Mother Mary are the best examples of both genders (that is why, we are really complete on our own); and that for as long as I let them stay with me and in me, I will always thread the right path.

Maybe this is the reason why my brother-priest says that Jesus Christ and Mother Mary are the modern day Adam and Eve. They could have reincarnated for that very great purpose – of setting us examples! Who knows? And should this be the case, then, they were not first parents for nothing after all! Jesus saved us because He has to (not only because of His great Love for us, but as part, as well, of His great task as the very first creation of God)! Remember in the seven (7) last words before He died: “Natuman na!” ? That is the greatest plan of God for our redemption. Jesus Christ and Mother Mary both showed us that we should embrace sufferings and sacrifices because that is what Love is all about! We need sufferings and sacrifices in our lives to temper the desires of our flesh, so that we can experience the joy of resurrection.

With the vastness of life’s mysteries, who among us knows what exactly could have happened? We are limited to theories, friends. Our theories become part of our belief system. And I am not about to convince you with mine because we are all entitled to each our own. My problem is mine and yours is yours. Love is acceptance and respect. Life will be easier for all of us to bear if it is begun from that angle. But we certainly can help one another given our willingness and cooperation. But that will, of course, entail a hell lot of humility! The question is, are you prepared to get down from your own created throne? Your self-declaration of who you are: that what is called “your illusion”?

Last week after going through so much, I said to myself: “you can call me stubborn, because I certainly am an iconoclast, but I am definitely not going to live my life according to the dictates of other people because in my universe I AM the center. People might be repelled or attracted by that, but whatever reaction they may have of my self-concept is the least of my concern. What is important is I know that I am here for friendships and service. And that I always give the best of me to anybody that needs me. That is the only thing that matters.” My obedience is exclusively to my God. For as long as I remain grounded in my firm belief and understanding that I do not have any malicious intent that will hurt others, then, other people’s views of me are of no importance, as I only have one and ultimate Judge.

Let me tell you this, just in case you failed to notice yet, the only lasting relationship is friendship. Why? Because it is only in friendship where there is no pressure. We are left pretty much by our friends on our own. But they continue to be there for us no matter. You learned/heard of the so-called ONE-FRIEND theory? It says that, for as long as you have even just a single friend who can get you by through good times and tough, then you will be okay. No matter who this person is in your life, whether s/he be a parent, a spouse, a child (biological or not), a girlfriend/boyfriend, a partner, a companion, or whatever you may call him/her, does not at all matter. Jesus is that one for me, guys! But it was Mother Mary who led me to Him. That is why I call me a Rosary girl. My loyalty is not to be questioned.

Expand your understanding about life, friends. Read a lot more. But most of all, keep an open mind. Reflect of things important to your soul. It is the key to eternity. Learn more of yourself, not others. Live your life for you, so you can find you. Unless you begin in you, there is very little that you can give to others. There is this one message I found in one of my friends’ account which I reposted in my Facebook account also. It said in essence: “Live your life well. For others, it might just be the only Bible that they will read.”

Before I finally bid you my goodbye for now, I hope you can pay a visit and listen to Deepak Chopra’s short message in the Youtube, he titled, IAM: THEREFORE GOD IS. And please do get to remember St. Thomas Aquinas’ theory of the God within and the God above in your reflection after listening. Because until such time that you are solid as a rock in Jesus, trust me, there is very little that you can do for your brethren, except “bless them that curse you, and pray for them that despitefully use you (Holy Bible: Book of Luke)”.

Here are two (2) of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s quotes I want to share with you before I bid you farewell, friends, to think about: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” and “Solitude is impractical; and society is fatal.”
Good luck and may God bless you in your continuous search for the God within you!