Yesterday was a usual day at the office. When l I finished saying my Rosary this morning though, the question posed by my officemate-friend yesterday came back to me and disturbed me. Reflecting, I found out that until I am able to convince myself that I am not bothered anymore and that I am able to air this out, as a person of expression (“what you bring forth within you”) then I cannot rest and attend to other matters. The problem that always confronts me every single time I am in this is the inability to find a person who will listen to me and understand what I am saying about. Although I have about six or seven (6 or 7) of them, they are not physically with me because we have separate lives to live and have missions to fulfill, the things that we were uniquely born to do. So I say, Thank you, Lord, for this venue!
My officemate-friend’s question had something to do with religion, as she is, according to my personal perception of her, a rather very scrupulously religious woman who shuns herself from other opinions about religion and spirituality. A fixed person, for now, I hope. It is because of this personal opinion of her that I dismissed her by not arguing with what she said, after the question, anymore. After the two (2) unfortunate times that I made her “patol” were more than enough lessons for me.
Religion is not only a very sensitive issue to talk, more so if it is to argue about. And before I go further, let me tell you that there is nothing wrong about whatever religion we chose because I see it more as a solution for our search of belongingness to expand our support system which is needed to suffice our stimulus hunger, specifically the psycho-spiritual one. The problem lies in the belief system, of our choice of religion, that we ultimately decided to choose to embrace. If our belief system is stuck in the teachings of our religion alone then our choice of religion, no matter what it is, becomes limiting and therefore, debilitating. The fact that we (this officemate-friend and i) belong in one and the same religion is an attestation. As I cannot speak for other people (she asked particularly, what could have been a particular author’s thought about Jesus, when I shared with them the findings – re reincarnations – of this author in his field of practice) I might just write about mine. So goes the reason for my writing this.
My personal thought and feelings about Jesus is: He is my Brother, my Best friend, my Confidante, my Great Guide, my Inspiration, my Refuge, my, Comfort, my Protector, my Teacher, my Master, my Everything…that I can be the best that I can be and give the best that I can give through Him. Infused within us, He and Mother Mary are the best examples of both genders (that is why, we are really complete on our own); and that for as long as I let them stay with me and in me, I will always thread the right path.
Maybe this is the reason why my brother-priest says that Jesus Christ and Mother Mary are the modern day Adam and Eve. They could have reincarnated for that very great purpose – of setting us examples! Who knows? And should this be the case, then, they were not first parents for nothing after all! Jesus saved us because He has to (not only because of His great Love for us, but as part, as well, of His great task as the very first creation of God)! Remember in the seven (7) last words before He died: “Natuman na!” ? That is the greatest plan of God for our redemption. Jesus Christ and Mother Mary both showed us that we should embrace sufferings and sacrifices because that is what Love is all about! We need sufferings and sacrifices in our lives to temper the desires of our flesh, so that we can experience the joy of resurrection.
With the vastness of life’s mysteries, who among us knows what exactly could have happened? We are limited to theories, friends. Our theories become part of our belief system. And I am not about to convince you with mine because we are all entitled to each our own. My problem is mine and yours is yours. Love is acceptance and respect. Life will be easier for all of us to bear if it is begun from that angle. But we certainly can help one another given our willingness and cooperation. But that will, of course, entail a hell lot of humility! The question is, are you prepared to get down from your own created throne? Your self-declaration of who you are: that what is called “your illusion”?
Last week after going through so much, I said to myself: “you can call me stubborn, because I certainly am an iconoclast, but I am definitely not going to live my life according to the dictates of other people because in my universe I AM the center. People might be repelled or attracted by that, but whatever reaction they may have of my self-concept is the least of my concern. What is important is I know that I am here for friendships and service. And that I always give the best of me to anybody that needs me. That is the only thing that matters.” My obedience is exclusively to my God. For as long as I remain grounded in my firm belief and understanding that I do not have any malicious intent that will hurt others, then, other people’s views of me are of no importance, as I only have one and ultimate Judge.
Let me tell you this, just in case you failed to notice yet, the only lasting relationship is friendship. Why? Because it is only in friendship where there is no pressure. We are left pretty much by our friends on our own. But they continue to be there for us no matter. You learned/heard of the so-called ONE-FRIEND theory? It says that, for as long as you have even just a single friend who can get you by through good times and tough, then you will be okay. No matter who this person is in your life, whether s/he be a parent, a spouse, a child (biological or not), a girlfriend/boyfriend, a partner, a companion, or whatever you may call him/her, does not at all matter. Jesus is that one for me, guys! But it was Mother Mary who led me to Him. That is why I call me a Rosary girl. My loyalty is not to be questioned.
Expand your understanding about life, friends. Read a lot more. But most of all, keep an open mind. Reflect of things important to your soul. It is the key to eternity. Learn more of yourself, not others. Live your life for you, so you can find you. Unless you begin in you, there is very little that you can give to others. There is this one message I found in one of my friends’ account which I reposted in my Facebook account also. It said in essence: “Live your life well. For others, it might just be the only Bible that they will read.”
Before I finally bid you my goodbye for now, I hope you can pay a visit and listen to Deepak Chopra’s short message in the Youtube, he titled, IAM: THEREFORE GOD IS. And please do get to remember St. Thomas Aquinas’ theory of the God within and the God above in your reflection after listening. Because until such time that you are solid as a rock in Jesus, trust me, there is very little that you can do for your brethren, except “bless them that curse you, and pray for them that despitefully use you (Holy Bible: Book of Luke)”.
Here are two (2) of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s quotes I want to share with you before I bid you farewell, friends, to think about: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” and “Solitude is impractical; and society is fatal.”
Good luck and may God bless you in your continuous search for the God within you!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
FIBROMYALGIA AND ANXIETY DISORDER: THE CONNECTION
Retreat (or to treat again; a place of refuge, seclusion or privacy) is one of those needed by every one of us. This is what I discovered just very recently while I was on my very short stay in my son and his wife’s house. And being in a place where I was most of the time by myself, literally and metaphorically (the couple is working on a graveyard shift), my only communication with friends was through the social networking sites, because the couple’s worldwide web connection is 24/7.
During these occasions – of being in the computer – I was many times tempted to share/post this on my wall: “It is an important necessity for us to take a retreat, once a year at the very least, in whatever way/s we can for 1001 reasons!” But I did not want to mislead as I have this observation regarding concepts and understanding. I really think that most of the people have limited knowledge regarding the word “retreat”, as it is mostly understood to have something to do with religiosity, instead of spirituality in connection with our soul, whose language is manifested through our physical body. “It is by SHARING that we become a BLESSING.” Somehow, I kept remembering this particular line, for some reasons. And knowing myself really well, I was certain this won’t stop until I did something about this. Such is the rationale for this article.
A sporty person, I was a tomboy when I was young, I would often grab a chance to walk (my simple form of exercise) as often as I could in my adult life. Approaching my fifties though, I often felt pain in my lower extremities after every brisk walk. I disregarded this matter thinking it was a normal sign of aging. I did my walking alternately in the hope that it will solve the discomfort because there is ample time for repair of used or maybe damaged tissues, or nerve, or whatever that is affected during the exercise, according to my pharmacist best friend. This pattern went well for quite some time, until it was not working anymore. It even went from bad to worse. The muscle pain I was feeling seemed to be all over every part of my body already and it was coupled with fatigue and insomnia. If there were a few times for me to enjoy walking, it was very seldom. And then I realized some more – my memory kept faltering, and sadly the failure would come in time when I needed most to remember something really important and urgent. I was more than sad. I was frustrated!
When my look-alike lady friend offered me to go with her to Manila, as there was much space for more passenger/s in their car, I accepted the invite right away thinking that maybe what I needed was some time off – a breather perhaps. Manila is a place which is frequented when people in the provinces have money to splurge but I sure didn’t have that much money that time. All I had was a little amount to get by once there. I also actually wanted to go with her because the idea of travelling with her, for the first time ever, excited me. Thank you very much, my dear friend Olive!
The following day, immediately after our arrival in Manila, I was fetched by my son to finally spend my short vacation with them in their place outside of Manila – a hilly subdivision which is a wider or larger version of ours here in the province. A true-bloodied “promdi” that I am, I am wont to even getting outside of the gate of the couple’s (my son and his wife) house. Besides not having anything to do outside, I am a very domesticated virgin (LOL)!
The first two (2) days went fairly well. But the third was absolutely different anymore. All those sufferings I mentioned above got worst. I did not say a word to my son as I was very sure what his automatic response will be – rush me to a hospital (in this far away strange city. Ugh! Just the thought of it gives me goose bumps)! And so the pain went on… until I decided to visit my email. One letter contained information regarding fibromyalgia and anxiety disorder. When I read it, it perfectly translated to what I was badly experiencing. I searched Wikipedia to understand more about anxiety disorder (because even if I graduated Psychology I must admit I have very limited knowledge pertaining Clinical Psychology, which deals more with pathology). I was dumbfounded in realizing how dumb I was when I read about anxiety disorder. I didn’t know I was suffering from a disorder at all until that time! I thought that I was okay. It was only in learning the cause of this affliction that I realize how badly I was torn, shattered, as a matter of fact, from the very depths of my soul unto my body. Anxiety disorder is a result of repeated series of traumatic events suffered by an individual. That is how it is described as its definition. That being done and understood, I went through my usual self-CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) or most popularly known as “talk therapy”. This is mostly the process where I get to know and heal myself more. After this, immediately the following day, consider it a miracle, but my pain eased – I was relieved.
After my usual “thank you prayer” I got to really think very seriously the reason for the “miracle”. And then I also answered me, that maybe each cell of our tissues has a form of communication to the rests on their own. But to simplify the matter is better. So it got me to believe what I once read: that when information reaches our awareness, that information will greatly help us. Or in Jesus’ words: what you bring forth within, you will save you…! Once again I remembered Dr. Mehmet Oz’s (the author of the medical series books, YOU) words: “you have to be the expert of your own self.” We each have to help our self heal because in healing only it is that we will move forward as one.
Now, as I get older each passing day, I continue to discover my limitations and maybe latent potentialities (nothing is impossible, you know) despite my age. One of shampoos advertisements has this beautiful lady exclaiming: age is but numbers and young is an attitude! I pray God gives me the right attitude which always comes with proper perspectives.
My love every one! God bless…!
During these occasions – of being in the computer – I was many times tempted to share/post this on my wall: “It is an important necessity for us to take a retreat, once a year at the very least, in whatever way/s we can for 1001 reasons!” But I did not want to mislead as I have this observation regarding concepts and understanding. I really think that most of the people have limited knowledge regarding the word “retreat”, as it is mostly understood to have something to do with religiosity, instead of spirituality in connection with our soul, whose language is manifested through our physical body. “It is by SHARING that we become a BLESSING.” Somehow, I kept remembering this particular line, for some reasons. And knowing myself really well, I was certain this won’t stop until I did something about this. Such is the rationale for this article.
A sporty person, I was a tomboy when I was young, I would often grab a chance to walk (my simple form of exercise) as often as I could in my adult life. Approaching my fifties though, I often felt pain in my lower extremities after every brisk walk. I disregarded this matter thinking it was a normal sign of aging. I did my walking alternately in the hope that it will solve the discomfort because there is ample time for repair of used or maybe damaged tissues, or nerve, or whatever that is affected during the exercise, according to my pharmacist best friend. This pattern went well for quite some time, until it was not working anymore. It even went from bad to worse. The muscle pain I was feeling seemed to be all over every part of my body already and it was coupled with fatigue and insomnia. If there were a few times for me to enjoy walking, it was very seldom. And then I realized some more – my memory kept faltering, and sadly the failure would come in time when I needed most to remember something really important and urgent. I was more than sad. I was frustrated!
When my look-alike lady friend offered me to go with her to Manila, as there was much space for more passenger/s in their car, I accepted the invite right away thinking that maybe what I needed was some time off – a breather perhaps. Manila is a place which is frequented when people in the provinces have money to splurge but I sure didn’t have that much money that time. All I had was a little amount to get by once there. I also actually wanted to go with her because the idea of travelling with her, for the first time ever, excited me. Thank you very much, my dear friend Olive!
The following day, immediately after our arrival in Manila, I was fetched by my son to finally spend my short vacation with them in their place outside of Manila – a hilly subdivision which is a wider or larger version of ours here in the province. A true-bloodied “promdi” that I am, I am wont to even getting outside of the gate of the couple’s (my son and his wife) house. Besides not having anything to do outside, I am a very domesticated virgin (LOL)!
The first two (2) days went fairly well. But the third was absolutely different anymore. All those sufferings I mentioned above got worst. I did not say a word to my son as I was very sure what his automatic response will be – rush me to a hospital (in this far away strange city. Ugh! Just the thought of it gives me goose bumps)! And so the pain went on… until I decided to visit my email. One letter contained information regarding fibromyalgia and anxiety disorder. When I read it, it perfectly translated to what I was badly experiencing. I searched Wikipedia to understand more about anxiety disorder (because even if I graduated Psychology I must admit I have very limited knowledge pertaining Clinical Psychology, which deals more with pathology). I was dumbfounded in realizing how dumb I was when I read about anxiety disorder. I didn’t know I was suffering from a disorder at all until that time! I thought that I was okay. It was only in learning the cause of this affliction that I realize how badly I was torn, shattered, as a matter of fact, from the very depths of my soul unto my body. Anxiety disorder is a result of repeated series of traumatic events suffered by an individual. That is how it is described as its definition. That being done and understood, I went through my usual self-CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) or most popularly known as “talk therapy”. This is mostly the process where I get to know and heal myself more. After this, immediately the following day, consider it a miracle, but my pain eased – I was relieved.
After my usual “thank you prayer” I got to really think very seriously the reason for the “miracle”. And then I also answered me, that maybe each cell of our tissues has a form of communication to the rests on their own. But to simplify the matter is better. So it got me to believe what I once read: that when information reaches our awareness, that information will greatly help us. Or in Jesus’ words: what you bring forth within, you will save you…! Once again I remembered Dr. Mehmet Oz’s (the author of the medical series books, YOU) words: “you have to be the expert of your own self.” We each have to help our self heal because in healing only it is that we will move forward as one.
Now, as I get older each passing day, I continue to discover my limitations and maybe latent potentialities (nothing is impossible, you know) despite my age. One of shampoos advertisements has this beautiful lady exclaiming: age is but numbers and young is an attitude! I pray God gives me the right attitude which always comes with proper perspectives.
My love every one! God bless…!
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