IN THE LINE OF DUTY

     If you were able to read the last of what i wrote, this is a follow up to it. If you haven't, may i suggest you find a way to read it, but only if it arouses your interest. It is neither an imposition nor a pre-requisite anyways. It is merely to provide for an overall picture of understanding.

     So the meeting materialized despite my initial opposition because of my personal emphatic feeling towards the subject. In a democratic environment majority always rules. While personally i was set free of my prison (untold anger), and had to thank God for it, i prayerfully hoped for the subject to finally wake up to her reality and inch by inch decide to come out of her own prison as well in order to be released and find fulfillment. The choice is upon her. Not with anybody else. It's her life, not ours nor yours.

     Although as part of my initial reaction when the meeting was just set, i thought of keeping mum during the proceedings as i saw no valid reason for saying my piece. The truth to the matter is, all the issues that were supposedly raised by the "alleged complainant" were illogical and were completely non-issue office-wise. But i was forced, however, to talk/comment towards the end kay waray man gud intawon niya lung-i an amon labaw nga diri ak payaknon kay ako man gud an iya katuyuanan in the first place. Ug tungod kay nakita man liwat san amon labaw nga diri man gud matutunghan kon diri mapatungyuan an tag-reklamo, magyayakan gud ak basi la mahuman an amon harampang (miting). Mao ini an mga panahon nga akon kunta ginlilikyan (the first time i walked out. This is actually the second time of the test.), samtang pwede ko malikayan, kay diri ko unta karuyag makasakit sa akon igkasitawo, but i must, tungod kay narespeto ak san amon labaw.

     My prelude consisted of a review of the validity of my initial assessment in reaction to the complaints. But that because i also had to consider seriously that human being is both a rational and emotional creation i had to finally change my opinion. This is where i have to emphasize a lesson: that when a person's emotional side is taking over and wrecking havoc in his/her rational side nawawara an balanse siton nga tawo. Iton gud an dapat maintindihan san ngatanan sa aton. Sa pilosopiya san mga Griyego, utruhon ko, nga KNOW THYSELF o KILAL-A AN IMO KALUGARINGON, dapat maaram an kada tagsa sa aton nga ngatanan gud kit, nga normal an panhunahuna san katawo naton, ginhimo san aton Makagarahum nga perpekto an balanse. We were created in perfect balance. That it is when we have lost our balance, friends, that our life becomes difficult. And undoubtedly, to live a difficult life is to be a difficult person. That when it comes to a point where the difficulty seems unbearable, we unconsciously throw our weight around thus, making other people's lives (especially those in our immediate surroundings) difficult as well. However, maski nano pa kahalaba san pisi san pasensya mayda gud an ngatanan tubtuban. Pag ginbalik na sa aton an aton ginpaabat nga kakurian sini nga mga tawo sa aton palibot, nalalangot kit, nabibido, nasisina, o nauuba. Ngatanan na la pe-personalon ta. I have mentioned this in a not so long ago issue of our paper. Ug dugngan ko: We become paranoid and prejudiced over other people, so we put meaning to every action and every word we see or hear. Naghihinimo kit multo (unfounded biases) nga kita la liwat an mahahadlok.

     As for me, yes, i temporarily lost my balance consciously in ventilating my anger in that particular afternoon when i forcibly "opened my heart" kay kinahanglan ko anay asahan an diri kunta angay asahan, para la maipakita ko sa iya an epekto san akon mga ginhilom nga mga kabiduan kay diri ko karuyag magbinata-bata (irrational). Yana padayon an akon pag-ampo sin pagpasaylo. Apisar nga maaram ak nga makukurian gud ak, magpapadayon an akon paglaum. Everything is a process to undergo. Sumala san mga naglabay ko na nga mga kasakit ug diri maupay nga eksperyensya, this, too, will come to pass. Kaupod la an ngatanan san siring pa san akon nabasahan nga: "sometimes we have to muddle the present in order to better the future." Every little or big thing that happens in our life is in line of our duty to God and our brethren.

     See you, friends, when i see you again!

PERSONALITY CLASH

          Being part of an organization leaves us pretty much with either little or no choice at all. When, in the middle of our lunch break conversation in our office's division, our head of office came in and heard our topic she gamely joined us just like a mother would, especially when relationship of her "children" is what is at stake. As i consider everyone in my office also my family, i make sure spending time with them and obeying orders from my superiors in relation to what is expected of me and what i am there for.

 

          The topic of that moment was about the indifference of one of our "sisters" or co-workers, which really just started with our objective implementation assessment of her supposed livelihood project and what could have probably went wrong why it became a failure. Life is a mystery, but for some weeks now i had been sincerely asking God to give me the grace to forgive and only show mercy to this particular co-worker as i perfectly understand where she must be coming from. As it has always been to me though, when i want so hard to forgive it always does not come easy. Temptations of hatred out of an untold anger most often prevailed. So i always need to install the kind of anger management that effectively works for me - loving from a distance. It is one of my many manifestations of a tough love. It is when i treat a person as if s/he does not exist.! Every time  i impose that measure however, i say to myself: forgive me, Father!

 

          I am a sanguine-choleric. Being so, halaba gud uraura an akon pasensya labi na kay gintagan ak grasya sin pagsabot san akon igkasitawo. A sanguine personality is a forever-child who is spontaneous, sweet, and loving. But because my secondary personality is choleric i find difficulty in forgiving a person who constantly tests my patience by his/her crossing my boundaries every so often ug pag-umabot na ak san akon tubtuban ngan diri nareresolba an mga butang nga ginpaabat sa akon, makuri na gud ak maulian because i do not allow myself to be sweetly manipulated. I had been there so long, i sense people's motives right away.

 

           The subject that i am referring to in this article is a choleric-phlegmatic who has not yet checked her very self. As i have said before, choleric personalities are the most difficult to deal with. Dida ngani ada nagtikang an aton pamuyayaw nga "kolera!" ambot la. But going back, i am seriously offering you my unsolicited advise to follow the Greek philosophy: KNOW THYSELF. It is the ignorance of our very own self that we go wayward, lose the right track and hurt other people including our own self first. Maski nano pa niyo nga pagsinimba ug paglinuhod dida. Pwera la gaba because i have nothing against what you prefer doing kay to each his/her own man an kinabuhi.

 

          Rather than look at, scrutinize, and blame others for every bad feeling you are having simply because your life is not going where you want it to, kitaa anay an iyo kalugaringon! And please, don't label people. Remember that for every label that you attach unto them, you are disclosing what you actually are. Again, as i said before na naman: we are given away not only by what we do, but also by what we say. Ngatanan nabalik gud sa aton! Sanglit paminsar gud anay pirmi sin maupay basi diri ka makaligis kay kairo mo kon balikan ka.

          And GROW UP! Life is a choice and love is a decision. Kasumo pa siton. Kadamo na uraura san nahibatian ko nga mga dati ug mga padati-dati nga nagyiyinakan siton. Sige la sira yakan, diri man nakikita sa ira kiwa. Pag diri maupay an pamati kay waray mapatungyui san ira karuyag, madalagan kon kanay kay mapaugop. Josko, kapagal!!! They remained little children nga nagkadagko la an ihap san edad pero nagpabilin nga lumatod an panhunahuna. Unless a decision is made to finally grow up and face every problem in the eye, these people will never find love. They will just remain pathetic.

 

          When, by God's grace, you finally decide to grow up the very first thing you do is LEARN TO LISTEN. Brats are typically people who always just "want to be heard but will never listen". Although they will pretend they are listening they will not hear anything because they are very noisy inside. That is why when they feel like they are so pushed against the wall they also made up, their only option is run away. Hala, sige dalagan, dalagan gud! Kasabot nira nga an ira kontra iba nga tawo. They got so used to the pattern they created since they were little children. Because they thought it worked then, they continued to think it will work until now. Sanglit maski dapat ada na sira san sinisiring nga adult category they are observed to be little boys and little girls.        

          Ug take note, may bonus pa iton. They also like to compete, so they are disrespectful. Kay nano? KSP man sira. At bakit sila kulang sa pansin? Kasi nga po napakatagal na panahon nang di nila pinapansin ang sarili nila! Why is that so? Because they were kept busy, much too busy, in getting the attention of others. Phlegmatic personality are very nice to other people. They go to the extent of pleasing them for what ever personal reason or motive only they know. What they attend to mostly is their outer image. They forget that what is inside is what is most important.

          Back to our lunch break conversation with my office mates and our head of office, to cut the long story short, i had to go by the decision of the group to hold a meeting specific for the purpose because WE ARE A FAMILY after all. Ngan kaupod man ini san akon paghingyap ug paglaum sin kahimyang.

 

          Ciao, my friends. Hasta la Vista!