THE EPITOME OF A GOOD CHILD THAT IS "CHOY"

Our publisher's notice to limit our opinionated article plus the overcrowding of ideas i want to share with you led me to a writer's block. But deadline is magic, so they say. Though i prefer calling this more "God's leadings".

As my mother-in-law and i were seriously discussing things regarding unforgiveness and its ill effects we were interrupted by my brother-in-law's questions after his musing over the story of Choy that was featured in "Zona Libre" in our last issue (Choy is a man in his early midlife, about thirty something years old, is fairly successful as a businessman, and has a family of his own, but has been constantly in search, since his childhood, of his biological father. It really must be a small world, our publisher accidentally - or is it God's will?- met him in a ferry bound for Bicol. The fact that his father was an alleged Calbayognon, he requested for our publisher's help in finding or contacting him.). Interestingly enough, Mama tried reading the paper, too. Feeling the strain in her eyes was affecting her comprehension she requested me to read it for her to which i gladly obliged.

Guilty of the same offense (unforgiveness for my biological father also) in my younger years, Choy's story brought me into tears. Immediately after reading the article i told Mama, "this is what all the children should be doing, forgive their parents." And we discussed a little bit more.

Getting back home, though, my thoughts were glued to Choy's story and the goodness of his heart. He brought me into deep thinking that as God's children we are supposed to live as good children to bring Him greater glory.. But what do we do instead? We prefer to be NICE RATHER THAN GOOD. So we live in constant confusion that is brought about by this choice of mediocrity. Failing or refusing to understand, we enter the "blame game" and when there is no one left around to blame anymore we go to the extent of blaming God as our perfection of absurdity!

Let me bring you back again to the difference between social ethics and character ethics because this is basically where our confusion begins. Being nice is etiquette. There is no problem with it. The problem with being nice happens when we begin to sacrifice our self and/or others for the sake of it. Our failure to understand our limits as God's children is the culprit. And the irony is, we so hungrily (sometimes angrily) seek to be understood.. This is selfishness. We must remember that nobody is ever going to understand us unless we understood ourselves first. Being nice, then, will eventually lead us to "limbo" because social ethics, as i have said before, is geared towards pleasing people. And nobody has ever pleased everybody.

While the goodness that is brought about by being good, which is what character ethics is all about, are joy, peace, and serenity because we please God alone. We go to the extent of forgetting ourselves (otherwise known as "selflessness") to please Him by doing exactly His will. The only thing that is involved in so doing is "total surrender". And it must begin with owning up to our own mistakes, our wrong decisions and choices.

Let us live as free people, therefore, by accepting our own faults. The age of maturity only begins when we begin to accept our sinfulness because all of us are sinners. Our perfection happens only when we are united with Him. But the beginning of our perfection happens here on earth. Hope is a big thing. And while we are here there will always be hope. The main problem that confronts us is in not knowing when and how we are going to die. This is a very serious thing to think about because our culture does not normally talk about things it considers morbid, be they reality. And to not talk about evil is evil. Life is a choice. Take responsibility for your own destiny.

Let me bid you farewell, for now, with Voltaire's thoughts: "when everything is lost, including hope, life becomes a disgrace and death a duty."

Here's hoping you find the courage, as Choy did, to take the plunge. Accept, repent, and forgive your self, so you can forgive the others who you think caused you pain. Ciao!