A.R.K.

Not much of a joiner and who has a habit of spontaneity, I was enjoying a movie with my eldest son this particular Saturday night. The movie: Evan Almighty. My son told me it was a sequel of Bruce Almighty. It was a very relaxing evening after the rather tight week days I had, especially because it had been awhile since I last saw a movie. The ending of the movie showed God writing, the word ARK, in the sand and at the same time providing the meaning of it: Act of Random Kindness.

My prayers before going to bed that night was focused on thanking God for providing me the way. You see, the so-called love for humanity can be very engulfing sometimes, I had been praying He lets my heart find rest in Him. His message He delivered through that movie: that I am task to perform exactly that, provide act of random kindness, not save the world. For it is only Jesus Christ He sent to save the world, nobody else. My task is to save my self, after that I got to build the ARK to reflect Him in me.

Late in the afternoon before that night though, there was this thought that kept nagging me: I was kind of sad it seemed to me like, the people who hold the key to helping the ones who need them (and there are many!) have set themselves apart from the rest. My messianic complex can, at times, be very bothering that it gets in my nerves. God’s message of building an ARK gives me the peace and quite I so needed for so long.

Back in those days, however, I had been (and I tried so hard) doing acts of kindness, but in my own translation. After my transformation I accepted that I did those to build my image. That although they were really offers of an all-out help, it was my self (and only my self) that mattered. There was no God in them. I was not reflecting Him in me.

It was in my time of adversity that I finally realized it was I first who needed the kindness I gave away to others. My interpretation then of selflessness was in fact and in truth selfishness. I was just using others for my image-building in the thought that by being kind to them they will also be to me. I was building castles in the sand. When my world collapsed, the people I served dropped me for dead! Yukat sa akon!

When I awoke I found out I made plenty of mistakes. So, I had to go back again. Start from where I needed to begin, but this time I had God in me through Jesus, His Son. He has to take the front seat. I had to be at the back seat because I was blind. I must pay.

Today, however, what sadden me are the ill motives of people for using people. John Powell had it in one of his books as a strong reminder that: “people need to use things and love people; not love things and use people.” But I think they fell into mindlessness, deaf ears and darkened hearts.

That is what the world is right now. We probably have to accept that, no matter the pain. We only need to contribute the way God wants of us. Use the unique gifts and talents He gave us as contribution to better the world. Every little good deed is indeed needed, more than the grandest intention we have.

As for me, I just have to live the best way I know how and give the most I can. I should not get in the way of God for whatever plans He has for His creations. To grapple with the wickedness of the world will only bring me frustrations and disappointments which will destroy me. The most important thing for me to consider and appreciate is God’s granting me His greatest gift of healing both my personality and my soul. Now is the most appropriate time for me to build God’s ARK – as my way of giving back to Him.

God bless us, everyone!