Physics is one of the most difficult subjects I encountered in the entirety of my school life. I hated it so much I barely passed the course every time. Mabuti na lang ‘di ako grade-conscious. Two (2) years ago I encountered the word again in one of the most loved books I read. Both curiosity and interest led me to look seriously for its meaning or I will not completely get the gist of what I was reading at that time.
The death of our most beloved Pres. Maria Corazon C. Aquino (who really lived up to the meaning of her name, possessing the “heart of Mother Mary”), which brought back the nostalgic feeling – to the time of the historic (and hysteric) event following Sen. Benigno Aquino’s death (very treacherous murder, is more like it) – for every Filipino, left people wondering in awe and astonishment because of the influx of sincere mourners.
In the kind of difficult times that we are in right now, we desperately and urgently need leaders who are of great moral ascendancy, for it is one basic natural human tendency to look up to the leaders of the land as role models. To reiterate: “everybody needs someone or something (Faith) to measure his/her life against.” To just keep criticizing our leaders will lead us nowhere because in the mediocrity of life the game is always about power. Every misunderstanding is a power play. Petty man ‘yan o grabe.
One of the most important information I gathered in my previous readings from the writings of different life coaches is to think about the time of our own death. To see and picture in our mind what it is we want when we die. What the people will say about us during our death, in our wake, in our burial, and after we are long gone. It is of great importance that we do so because we are going to hear all the comments, the curse and the blessings, from all of the people we have come across with and affected/inflicted/effected in the course of our lifetime anyways.
Psychosomatic unity is one of those words that intrigued me in the furtherance of my soul-study. It talks about the truth that we cannot evade: that we are made up of both physical body and soul. But between our two (2) major components it must be the soul that we must take care of very, very importantly because it is what does not die. It is what is eventually going to suffer or be rewarded in our judgment day, when we are to meet our Ultimate Judge eventually. We must remember that in the end we all have the same destiny – face God.
The throng of people, not to mention those who felt strongly for the death of Cory and cried silently in their homes or wherever, is the result of what the authorities call “quantum physics”. Both the quantity and quality of what we give is given us back in return. And more – for Jesus promised us: “I will give you all these and more”. “What you sow, you reap.” It is considered by others as part of the law of karma, for, if in objects “the same poles repel” applies, in people “like attracts like” works.
Discontent led me to go in depth, in my attempt to dissect the anatomy of human friendships/relationships. I thought of the broken ones. And then I finally realized that maybe what glued them in their so-called friendships then, was not Love after all.
“Only God is faithful.” The common denominator for every friendship/relationship must be God, for He is Love. Apart from Him, any friendship/relationship is either superficial or clinging (remember the pathology of love yet?), thus unhealthy. And anything unhealthy is unsatisfying, confusing, tiring, demanding or depleting, and sickening. Happiness is never, and never will be, sustained.
“The same poles repel.” If you and I are united not by Love, but by some personal motive – power, fame, or fortune (PFF) factor – our ending is to one day be separated. Only love cements a relationship and produces a BFF (best friends forever) factor.
In the PFF factor, people of the same kind are joined together first. In the course of time, however, one will override the other because it is difficult to maintain loyalty or faithfulness. They become so focused on their personal motives or gains thus, without their knowing it they become mere objects. So they keep using one another. Their motto becomes: “you scratch my back; I’ll scratch yours.” They are no longer humans. Only humans are created in the image and likeness of God. And it is in our physical state alone where we can change our destiny. For when we die our time for change is ended.
Life is meant for friendships and service. Apart from these there is no guaranteed sense of fulfillment or satisfaction. Palagi na lang may hahanapin ang puso mo because your heart is the heart of your soul and vice versa. At hinding-hindi mo matatakasan ang katotohanang ‘yan. Fr. Rod sent me this food for thought one time: “you can close your eyes to the things that you do not like to see; but you cannot close your heart to the things that you do not like to feel.” Cory’s assurance to the grieving heart of her personal physician was: “don’t worry. I have lived a full life…”
As I say goodbye for this issue I would like to pose the same question for you, beloved friends, as you think and contemplate: “are you living (and enjoying!) a full life na ba?”
Don’t worry though, nothing is late in Love. God is ever very forgiving. That is the reason why nobody has the right to condemn anybody because we do not know for certain what goes on inside the heart of every individual, and also because we do not know God’s plans for each one of us. God works on each of us differently, so we have to accept and adjust, as brothers and sisters, in our trust in God and as we wait for the completion of His plans.
My love to every one! God bless us always. See you sometime again, dearest friends.
Friday, August 28, 2009
MYSTICS
My third son (who is my original soul-mate) surprised me with a vacation trip to and from his place allegedly for a breather. It was a very fruitful vacation as we went bookstore-hopping and I got to read quality books to the desires of my heart. I love his pad, too – modest but very comforting. Thank you, baby boy pogi!
When this same son of mine discovered in the internet what names stand for, I requested for this new name (Eunice Ji) to be inquired about. My heart was full of gladness in reading the description that came along with the name. One of those that brought me joy was that it meant a “mystic” daw. For quite a time now my sister-in-law – and BFF – has been suggesting I disclose here the reason for coming up with this particular pen name. I did not so much pay attention to complying with her suggestion because I saw no need for it.
But maybe it’s about time I tell you where exactly the pen name came from because I had to have a jump off point to this issue’s topic. My pen name came shortly after my transformation, I personally call my “rebirth”. Eunice is a modification of the biblical word “eunuch” (now you finally understand why I am pushing for you to attain androgyny – brain balance); while Ji stands for Jesus and i.
MYSTIC – I have to particularly pick this topic for this issue because my personal observation is that, whenever people sense they have something they feel inside, which they translate as special something that sets them apart from the rest, they call themselves “mystics”, and worse, they cash in on their gift of being a supposed mystic. It seems to me like people’s motive is always about money.
Last year when my youngest son and I were unable to attend a particular Sunday Mass, he opened our TV set to at least hear one. He was able to tune up to a sermon of a charismatic leader whose topic was focused on financial gains. After hearing a few words from him so I can balance both sides of my brain in order to give him justice, we usually refer to as benefit of the doubt, I instructed my son to switch channel.
A few weeks after that, when my third son called, we talked about our disheartening observation where every little bit is done for money. Damo la nga pasangil an ginhihimo just to entice people and have money. It is even more annoying and disgusting when people use their claimed leverage, spiritual or mysticism, to gain money. Nagpapakasayon san pagkamal sin salapi. These unscrupulous people should be ashamed of Major Marcelino of PDEA (PDEA VS. DOJ – Alabang Boys’ case) when he said to have always reminded his family members na “matuto’ng mamuhay ng patas palagi.”
Yes, there is so much to be proud and happy about being a mystic. But it is and will never be a reason for making money. Money and God do not combine. We can only embrace one and subordinate the other, as we are both good and evil. If someone considers him/herself a mystic, then it is all the more reason for him/her not to make/collect money out of his/her being one. To be a mystic is to forever be thankful to God for His given grace, for “many are called but few are chosen.”
Fr. Dubay said in EWTN, a mystic is somebody who is head over heels in love with God. Sugad la siton kasimple an karuyag sidngon san termino nga mystic! Pero, OO gad lugod, makuri iton abuton. Labi na gud para sadto nga mga tawo nga maiha na nga waray madisiplina an ira kalugaringon. Formed habits are indeed very, very difficult to break. And we need to be broken, and sometimes crushed, in order to be whole again.
Our bad habits disoriented us, thereby keeping us away from the Truth, so we became prodigal children of God. It takes so much effort, energy, and unceasing prayers. It takes so much will. Kon hubog ka na uraura san imo kalibutanon nga kinabuhi, makukurian ka uraura pagbag-o. Pero if you are willing to hurdle the rough course to freedom for your own sake (and the people you profess you allegedly love), you will definitely change.
To take up our cross is to be willing to sacrifice. There is death in sacrifice but the death is temporary. It will take so much courage if we are to sacrifice. And if we consider ourselves people of God, then we are a people of courage. Jesus reminded us to “take up our cross and follow Him because nobody goes to the Father without Him; and that He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” This is the reason why the effecting change or transformation is very, very rewarding. I can assure you that.
Be so in love with God. He is the best. Nothing comes close. But when you are finally changed by His grace, don’t change na. I mean, never backslide to where you came from. Stay the course. Keep the Faith. Only He knows what is best for you. Don’t capitalize on what He gave you and made of you. Ug labi na gud nga ayaw intawon iton, nga grasya nga ginhatag sa imo san Ginoo, paghimua nga kapital o puhunan para ka magka-kwarta. The more that you attain Wisdom, the more that you have to be humble. Be like the bamboo. The more that it grows taller, the more that it bends (Confucius?). Humility is everything.
Love you, friends! God bless all of us. Let’s keep praying for one another. In God there is always Hope.
When this same son of mine discovered in the internet what names stand for, I requested for this new name (Eunice Ji) to be inquired about. My heart was full of gladness in reading the description that came along with the name. One of those that brought me joy was that it meant a “mystic” daw. For quite a time now my sister-in-law – and BFF – has been suggesting I disclose here the reason for coming up with this particular pen name. I did not so much pay attention to complying with her suggestion because I saw no need for it.
But maybe it’s about time I tell you where exactly the pen name came from because I had to have a jump off point to this issue’s topic. My pen name came shortly after my transformation, I personally call my “rebirth”. Eunice is a modification of the biblical word “eunuch” (now you finally understand why I am pushing for you to attain androgyny – brain balance); while Ji stands for Jesus and i.
MYSTIC – I have to particularly pick this topic for this issue because my personal observation is that, whenever people sense they have something they feel inside, which they translate as special something that sets them apart from the rest, they call themselves “mystics”, and worse, they cash in on their gift of being a supposed mystic. It seems to me like people’s motive is always about money.
Last year when my youngest son and I were unable to attend a particular Sunday Mass, he opened our TV set to at least hear one. He was able to tune up to a sermon of a charismatic leader whose topic was focused on financial gains. After hearing a few words from him so I can balance both sides of my brain in order to give him justice, we usually refer to as benefit of the doubt, I instructed my son to switch channel.
A few weeks after that, when my third son called, we talked about our disheartening observation where every little bit is done for money. Damo la nga pasangil an ginhihimo just to entice people and have money. It is even more annoying and disgusting when people use their claimed leverage, spiritual or mysticism, to gain money. Nagpapakasayon san pagkamal sin salapi. These unscrupulous people should be ashamed of Major Marcelino of PDEA (PDEA VS. DOJ – Alabang Boys’ case) when he said to have always reminded his family members na “matuto’ng mamuhay ng patas palagi.”
Yes, there is so much to be proud and happy about being a mystic. But it is and will never be a reason for making money. Money and God do not combine. We can only embrace one and subordinate the other, as we are both good and evil. If someone considers him/herself a mystic, then it is all the more reason for him/her not to make/collect money out of his/her being one. To be a mystic is to forever be thankful to God for His given grace, for “many are called but few are chosen.”
Fr. Dubay said in EWTN, a mystic is somebody who is head over heels in love with God. Sugad la siton kasimple an karuyag sidngon san termino nga mystic! Pero, OO gad lugod, makuri iton abuton. Labi na gud para sadto nga mga tawo nga maiha na nga waray madisiplina an ira kalugaringon. Formed habits are indeed very, very difficult to break. And we need to be broken, and sometimes crushed, in order to be whole again.
Our bad habits disoriented us, thereby keeping us away from the Truth, so we became prodigal children of God. It takes so much effort, energy, and unceasing prayers. It takes so much will. Kon hubog ka na uraura san imo kalibutanon nga kinabuhi, makukurian ka uraura pagbag-o. Pero if you are willing to hurdle the rough course to freedom for your own sake (and the people you profess you allegedly love), you will definitely change.
To take up our cross is to be willing to sacrifice. There is death in sacrifice but the death is temporary. It will take so much courage if we are to sacrifice. And if we consider ourselves people of God, then we are a people of courage. Jesus reminded us to “take up our cross and follow Him because nobody goes to the Father without Him; and that He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” This is the reason why the effecting change or transformation is very, very rewarding. I can assure you that.
Be so in love with God. He is the best. Nothing comes close. But when you are finally changed by His grace, don’t change na. I mean, never backslide to where you came from. Stay the course. Keep the Faith. Only He knows what is best for you. Don’t capitalize on what He gave you and made of you. Ug labi na gud nga ayaw intawon iton, nga grasya nga ginhatag sa imo san Ginoo, paghimua nga kapital o puhunan para ka magka-kwarta. The more that you attain Wisdom, the more that you have to be humble. Be like the bamboo. The more that it grows taller, the more that it bends (Confucius?). Humility is everything.
Love you, friends! God bless all of us. Let’s keep praying for one another. In God there is always Hope.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
STAR WARS
For over two (2) months now I have not yet finished the book I am reading. But I am still doing my best to be able to finish it because this is the only book right now I find quite interesting to read. My listing of the books to buy is long already but financial constraints do not permit me to buy even one of them yet. So I have to contend myself with what I have at the moment.
The first part of this book tells of the author’s analysis about the main causes of the wars of the world namely: political war and the war between religions. The political war was easy for me to understand, and thus, consider. What I am finding a hard time to be convinced about is the war that he postulated is caused by differing religions.
This brought me back to the time when my elder brother, who resides in Mindanao, and his wife visited me about two (2) years ago. When he learned that my youngest son was enrolled in a seminary (he still is, by God’s grace) he (my brother) talked to me in secret urging me to discourage my son to be there. His reason: Rome is, allegedly, on fire. I smiled in telling him that I am not about to tell my son what and what not to do. His life is his, not mine; that I am here to provide guidance and support only. His life decisions and choices are for him alone to make.
As I went further down reading this book, I sensed something wrong. I cannot, in my life, believe in anybody or anything that discredits and discriminates either his/her brethren or his/her chosen religion. It is my belief that an individual’s search for religion is dictated by his/her search for belongingness. Whether the search is caused by the wounded-ness of his/her soul or personality, nobody (or only he/she) knows. Although I believe more that it comes from the need of the soul. And the more that our personality is wounded, the more that our soul cries in hunger for an authentic power – the only source of healing. This is the reason why some people go religion-hopping, hoping to find rest somewhere.
My fourth son had asked for my permission twice to attend Christian services: both non-Catholics. On those two (2) occasions he’d tell me disturbing observations about malicious commentaries (as soon as he came back home from the service), after the gospel reading by the pastors, regarding our religion. From these accounts, I am tempted to think that maybe the author of this book is indeed right in his assessment (I just wish he presented his theory and argumentation on a fair and balanced basis) regarding wars between religions.
I don’t know if my observation is correct, but I think that in our effort to recruit or hold tight our people inside our religion, for whatever motive/s, we thwart whatever blocks our way, going to the extent of destruction. When this approach is observed to work in our favor, we continue to do so until this becomes a habit, transferring the habit to our flock; until unknowingly our loyalty is to our religion already, not anymore to God. The working of the devil is as subtle as that.
I wrote this neither to convince nor defend my religion. I wrote this simply because I see no point in warring over a belief that holds no water. The political wars are more than enough for us to handle already, and yet here we are adding more meaningless wars for meaningless purpose. Ano’ng kabobohan at katangahan ba ang mga pinaggagagawa natin sa buhay nating ito? Diyos ko, pagpalain N’yo po sana kaming mga anak Ninyo!
It seems to me that every religion would like to be the biggest and most shining star, towering over the others. The drive, guys, looms out of the urge for competition which, as we have discussed previously, stems out of man’s/woman’s insecurity. Every religion’s dynamic works practically the same way because it is composed of the same insecure people (pasayloa ak…!).
With insecurity as our main force we will remain starlets who think we are already stars. The truth is, we are no better than the others. We are all one and the same. The few ones who will stand out as the real stars are those who have got a real God in them through Jesus. And who determines these few stars, guys? Definitely, it is not you or me.
Love is not exclusive (M. Scott Peck). Unless our premise becomes GOD IS LOVE, we will never realize that LOVE IS BEYOND RELIGION. It is my fervent prayer that every religion builds better souls than buildings.
God bless us. My prayers for you, dearest friends!
The first part of this book tells of the author’s analysis about the main causes of the wars of the world namely: political war and the war between religions. The political war was easy for me to understand, and thus, consider. What I am finding a hard time to be convinced about is the war that he postulated is caused by differing religions.
This brought me back to the time when my elder brother, who resides in Mindanao, and his wife visited me about two (2) years ago. When he learned that my youngest son was enrolled in a seminary (he still is, by God’s grace) he (my brother) talked to me in secret urging me to discourage my son to be there. His reason: Rome is, allegedly, on fire. I smiled in telling him that I am not about to tell my son what and what not to do. His life is his, not mine; that I am here to provide guidance and support only. His life decisions and choices are for him alone to make.
As I went further down reading this book, I sensed something wrong. I cannot, in my life, believe in anybody or anything that discredits and discriminates either his/her brethren or his/her chosen religion. It is my belief that an individual’s search for religion is dictated by his/her search for belongingness. Whether the search is caused by the wounded-ness of his/her soul or personality, nobody (or only he/she) knows. Although I believe more that it comes from the need of the soul. And the more that our personality is wounded, the more that our soul cries in hunger for an authentic power – the only source of healing. This is the reason why some people go religion-hopping, hoping to find rest somewhere.
My fourth son had asked for my permission twice to attend Christian services: both non-Catholics. On those two (2) occasions he’d tell me disturbing observations about malicious commentaries (as soon as he came back home from the service), after the gospel reading by the pastors, regarding our religion. From these accounts, I am tempted to think that maybe the author of this book is indeed right in his assessment (I just wish he presented his theory and argumentation on a fair and balanced basis) regarding wars between religions.
I don’t know if my observation is correct, but I think that in our effort to recruit or hold tight our people inside our religion, for whatever motive/s, we thwart whatever blocks our way, going to the extent of destruction. When this approach is observed to work in our favor, we continue to do so until this becomes a habit, transferring the habit to our flock; until unknowingly our loyalty is to our religion already, not anymore to God. The working of the devil is as subtle as that.
I wrote this neither to convince nor defend my religion. I wrote this simply because I see no point in warring over a belief that holds no water. The political wars are more than enough for us to handle already, and yet here we are adding more meaningless wars for meaningless purpose. Ano’ng kabobohan at katangahan ba ang mga pinaggagagawa natin sa buhay nating ito? Diyos ko, pagpalain N’yo po sana kaming mga anak Ninyo!
It seems to me that every religion would like to be the biggest and most shining star, towering over the others. The drive, guys, looms out of the urge for competition which, as we have discussed previously, stems out of man’s/woman’s insecurity. Every religion’s dynamic works practically the same way because it is composed of the same insecure people (pasayloa ak…!).
With insecurity as our main force we will remain starlets who think we are already stars. The truth is, we are no better than the others. We are all one and the same. The few ones who will stand out as the real stars are those who have got a real God in them through Jesus. And who determines these few stars, guys? Definitely, it is not you or me.
Love is not exclusive (M. Scott Peck). Unless our premise becomes GOD IS LOVE, we will never realize that LOVE IS BEYOND RELIGION. It is my fervent prayer that every religion builds better souls than buildings.
God bless us. My prayers for you, dearest friends!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
RECOGNITION HUNGER
As ever, kung kelan daw patay na ang tao ‘tsaka lang natin ina-appreciate ang mabubuti at kaayaayang mga alaalang naiwan n’ya. My eldest son was playing Michael Jackson’s HEAL THE WORLD song early this morning. In an instant I thought of writing about him since I was born the same year he was and I loved many of his songs, which I believe he wrote with the sincerest feelings every time.
Later in the evening, my son again found his songs in MYX Channel. They provided a bit of introduction, as backgrounder, before each song was played. It was from there that I was able to piece together what could have affected his person and personality. But one thing is for sure, judging from his beautiful songs of prayer such as Childhood, Will You Be There, and Heal the World (to name but a few), and his overprotection of his little children from the maddening crowd of fans and detractors alike, that he has a good soul.
If my memory serves me right, I came to read that they were abused children from the confession of Janet Jackson many years ago. The abuser: their very own father.
We will never know what triggered their father to abuse them, unless he confesses also. What I’m certain about is the fact that every one of us who still carries the wounds of the past will always be hungry for recognition. It is because of this recognition hunger that we are driven to amass wealth and be famous – through whatever means – because our mind is conditioned that it is only the moneyed and/or the famous that are powerful. We are all in search of power. But we almost always resort to synthetic powers that are offered by the materialism and lies that this world offers.
Our abusers made us powerless. This powerlessness drove us nuts. And instead of turning to the Most Powerful for help (because Only Him holds the authentic power), through His healing grace, we chose to instill our own. Eh, mixed nga tayo: we are all animal, human, and divine. This fact explains for the compositions of MJ. Sometimes his powerlessness as human was probably too strong for him to resist he wrote songs out of his human desire for power. And maybe in times of his surrender he wrote songs of prayer for God to help him. He got so mixed up!
His decision to dissociate from his father, manifested by his choice to change his physical appearance – skin color and nose lifts – and his excluding him (his father) in his last will and testament, proved his un-forgiveness.
We must remember that each of us had to be born in this world through our parents. And that no matter what happened in the past, each of those events happened for a purpose. Our in-acceptance will only harden our heart. It will confuse us and lead us to difficulties. That is why we experience hell even while we are still here.
What God wants of us is Obedience. Acceptance is our means to obey Him. The kind of family we came from was His choice for us for a purpose. Basically it is for the purpose of letting us learn to love through forgiveness. Everything starts in the home, so it is always said. The decision to disobey is our translation of rebellion. It is an evil choice.
Eventually this evil choice will manifest outside, called aura. For what is inside our heart will reveal in itself. Kaya may mga magaganda at gwapo na sa tingin natin may mali somewhere. At meron din namang hindi naman kagandahan o kagwapuhan pero people are drawn to him/her na walang halong malisya. Kaya siguro malisya dahil “mali s’ya”, ‘no? Biro lang…
If there are unpleasant things that need to change, then the change must begin in our very own self, usually through forgiveness and unceasing prayer. We were created by God and in God we must always depend. In Him we have to remain forever children who will always forever be dependent on Him. The two (2) tablets containing God’s ten (10) Commandments has the first one tablet (which bore the three first Commandments) for Him and the second tablet carried the very first one (out of the six) to honor thy father and thy mother (“especially your parents!” says one of our local jokes. We have to lighten the burden of life in order for it not to be dull and boring. Laughter remains the best medicine).
Our human interventions will one day prove us the truth that we can only do so much. Our body is not ours. It is God’s. To medically alter it for our own human purpose will only serve us awhile. There are limits to everything. One day, babagsak tayo – literal man o hindi. Ke MJ naunang bumagsak ang ilong n’ya kasi walang matibay na buto d’yan,e. Dapat kasi inaral muna nya sya, nang malalimang pag-aaral, ha?
I don’t know how the following is going to effect in you, but I am including it here to help you see yourself because I believe that the only person who can effectively instill love, through discipline, in you is your self. The following I received as food for thought from a very dearest brother, Rev. Fr. Rod San Jose, OFM (he is one of my earth-fathers):
Bravery is saying NO to what you believe is NO;
Sacrifice is saying NO to what you think is YES;
Confidence is saying YES to what you think is YES;
Trusting is saying YES to what you think is NO. (tnx,ROD!)
Oh, by the way, MJ po stands for MY JESUS, who the Almighty Father sent us to pattern our lives to. Unless we try very, very hard, no matter the difficulty, to let the God in our head comes down and settle in our heart, and be like Jesus (but accepting the fact that we cannot be as perfect as He is) our destination will be nowhere. (That is precisely why Michael Jackson named his humungous property “Neverland”, because he will arrive and settle at nothing in the end.)
Let us all pray and exert effort to find rest in God or we will all end up in hell – whether we are alive yet or dead already – literally speaking. We cannot help heal the world if we are ourselves unhealed yet.
Kaya tuloy here in our place (following un-fateful incidents in a hospital that were caused by the “difficult people in power”) we changed na the lyrics of MJ’s hit (Heal the World) as the hospital’s theme song, it became: “kill the world/make it a bitter place/for you and for me and the entire human race/there are people dying/we don’t care enough for the living/make a bitter place for you and for me.” While in the other hospital, the old one, their theme song remains Mona Lisa still (they just lie there/and they die there). A pity, isn’t it? Aren’t hospitals made for healing? I didn’t know it changed already. Kelan pa?
God, grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change;
Change the things that I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference. Amen.
LOVE YOU, EVERYONE…! God bless, siempre pa. See you sometime again.
Later in the evening, my son again found his songs in MYX Channel. They provided a bit of introduction, as backgrounder, before each song was played. It was from there that I was able to piece together what could have affected his person and personality. But one thing is for sure, judging from his beautiful songs of prayer such as Childhood, Will You Be There, and Heal the World (to name but a few), and his overprotection of his little children from the maddening crowd of fans and detractors alike, that he has a good soul.
If my memory serves me right, I came to read that they were abused children from the confession of Janet Jackson many years ago. The abuser: their very own father.
We will never know what triggered their father to abuse them, unless he confesses also. What I’m certain about is the fact that every one of us who still carries the wounds of the past will always be hungry for recognition. It is because of this recognition hunger that we are driven to amass wealth and be famous – through whatever means – because our mind is conditioned that it is only the moneyed and/or the famous that are powerful. We are all in search of power. But we almost always resort to synthetic powers that are offered by the materialism and lies that this world offers.
Our abusers made us powerless. This powerlessness drove us nuts. And instead of turning to the Most Powerful for help (because Only Him holds the authentic power), through His healing grace, we chose to instill our own. Eh, mixed nga tayo: we are all animal, human, and divine. This fact explains for the compositions of MJ. Sometimes his powerlessness as human was probably too strong for him to resist he wrote songs out of his human desire for power. And maybe in times of his surrender he wrote songs of prayer for God to help him. He got so mixed up!
His decision to dissociate from his father, manifested by his choice to change his physical appearance – skin color and nose lifts – and his excluding him (his father) in his last will and testament, proved his un-forgiveness.
We must remember that each of us had to be born in this world through our parents. And that no matter what happened in the past, each of those events happened for a purpose. Our in-acceptance will only harden our heart. It will confuse us and lead us to difficulties. That is why we experience hell even while we are still here.
What God wants of us is Obedience. Acceptance is our means to obey Him. The kind of family we came from was His choice for us for a purpose. Basically it is for the purpose of letting us learn to love through forgiveness. Everything starts in the home, so it is always said. The decision to disobey is our translation of rebellion. It is an evil choice.
Eventually this evil choice will manifest outside, called aura. For what is inside our heart will reveal in itself. Kaya may mga magaganda at gwapo na sa tingin natin may mali somewhere. At meron din namang hindi naman kagandahan o kagwapuhan pero people are drawn to him/her na walang halong malisya. Kaya siguro malisya dahil “mali s’ya”, ‘no? Biro lang…
If there are unpleasant things that need to change, then the change must begin in our very own self, usually through forgiveness and unceasing prayer. We were created by God and in God we must always depend. In Him we have to remain forever children who will always forever be dependent on Him. The two (2) tablets containing God’s ten (10) Commandments has the first one tablet (which bore the three first Commandments) for Him and the second tablet carried the very first one (out of the six) to honor thy father and thy mother (“especially your parents!” says one of our local jokes. We have to lighten the burden of life in order for it not to be dull and boring. Laughter remains the best medicine).
Our human interventions will one day prove us the truth that we can only do so much. Our body is not ours. It is God’s. To medically alter it for our own human purpose will only serve us awhile. There are limits to everything. One day, babagsak tayo – literal man o hindi. Ke MJ naunang bumagsak ang ilong n’ya kasi walang matibay na buto d’yan,e. Dapat kasi inaral muna nya sya, nang malalimang pag-aaral, ha?
I don’t know how the following is going to effect in you, but I am including it here to help you see yourself because I believe that the only person who can effectively instill love, through discipline, in you is your self. The following I received as food for thought from a very dearest brother, Rev. Fr. Rod San Jose, OFM (he is one of my earth-fathers):
Bravery is saying NO to what you believe is NO;
Sacrifice is saying NO to what you think is YES;
Confidence is saying YES to what you think is YES;
Trusting is saying YES to what you think is NO. (tnx,ROD!)
Oh, by the way, MJ po stands for MY JESUS, who the Almighty Father sent us to pattern our lives to. Unless we try very, very hard, no matter the difficulty, to let the God in our head comes down and settle in our heart, and be like Jesus (but accepting the fact that we cannot be as perfect as He is) our destination will be nowhere. (That is precisely why Michael Jackson named his humungous property “Neverland”, because he will arrive and settle at nothing in the end.)
Let us all pray and exert effort to find rest in God or we will all end up in hell – whether we are alive yet or dead already – literally speaking. We cannot help heal the world if we are ourselves unhealed yet.
Kaya tuloy here in our place (following un-fateful incidents in a hospital that were caused by the “difficult people in power”) we changed na the lyrics of MJ’s hit (Heal the World) as the hospital’s theme song, it became: “kill the world/make it a bitter place/for you and for me and the entire human race/there are people dying/we don’t care enough for the living/make a bitter place for you and for me.” While in the other hospital, the old one, their theme song remains Mona Lisa still (they just lie there/and they die there). A pity, isn’t it? Aren’t hospitals made for healing? I didn’t know it changed already. Kelan pa?
God, grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change;
Change the things that I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference. Amen.
LOVE YOU, EVERYONE…! God bless, siempre pa. See you sometime again.
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WELL
One of my most loved songs when I was just learning to play the guitar, myself, is that song entitled: Teach Your Children Well. But I forgot its lyrics already. Country songs are always a come on to me, for no particular reason at all.
I hope you still remember the issue where we discussed a bit regarding amorality because what I am going to share with you in this issue has something to do about it again.
At about a little past five (5) in the afternoon, as I was going down the stairs of my workplace, my attention was called by my lady-friend whom I had formed a sisterly bonding with for about three (3) years already. I was caught off-guard at her kind of approach because it was brutally frank. She was, in fact, sort of blaming me I was not able to prevent the “immoral” act of one of my noted student-counselee (his habit of taking things from others, stealing – in other words, has gone berserk it probably has become a kleptomania by now), he victimized her cousin-priest.
After hearing from her the details of the alleged incident, I told her calmly: “First of all, he did not tell me anything about this stealing habit he has. Although I have knowledge of this abominable habit prior, I had to wait for him to voluntarily tell me. And second of all, counseling does not involve interrogating.”
Days passed and came the weekend where I’d normally sit and think deeply (after I finish my “talent portion” – doing the laundry) about things that bother me. After offering my prayers for God’s guidance, I texted the said student-counselee, who had already graduated his bachelor’s degree, and informed him of what happened. I told him I was ashamed, in fact. Even before he replied, I expected to get a denial, of course. Wala nga daw magnanakaw ang umaming nagnakaw sila.
The one text that pissed me off, however, was when he told me that all those allegations (when he was yet in school) were plain loose talks because nobody came up with proof or evidence he indeed stole from his schoolmates. This was his reply when I told him that I knew of his bad habit even then, but reminded him at the same time that “if you will just keep a good heart, money will come to you.” I told him abruptly it was time we stop texting because his left brain was at work again. And I sensed it was an orientation he got from someone to evade every time he was on the verge of being caught.
My second to the last message for him was to reassure him of my unfading love and that I will just be around when he needs me. He thanked and texted back telling me that I am really his “secret nanay”. I said: no probs, anak. It’s fine by me. I don’t need to be recognized anyways.
By heaven’s decision, however, to my surprise, I was informed that he struck again! This time he finally got caught. Absolute natural law that nobody runs away from, we indeed must pay, always. Kundi man ngayon, bukas.
After the news, when I finally came to settle my mixed emotions for him, I thought that it was most probably the beginning of his refinement. Everything happens for a purpose, and I am a great believer of that. Especially because an tawo daw, kon diri ngani gud naaaluhan sin tiupay diri man magbabag-o. That, when we hit rock bottom there is nowhere to go, but up.
And then days after, I learned from an old woman friend, that some “father-figure” of this problematic kid was helping him get away with what he has done. Oh, my Lord! What in the world is this again? – I thought. I was taken aback. I froze. I did not know what to think exactly anymore.
Ganito ‘yan: the problem is not immorality right away. The problem begins very subtly. It is imperative for us to inculcate in our young the proper values right from the start. The problem that confronts us very seriously these days is amorality. Everybody, it seems, do not know anymore what is exactly right from wrong; young and old alike, everybody is becoming more and more amoral.
To me, it is a grave misconduct for an adult to be bringing a young with him down, morally speaking. In the context of love naman, I don’t think it is love for the young to teach him of ways to get away with his wrongdoing, no, I don’t think it’s because of love at all. I think it’s done for a serious selfish motive. It’s like a blind leading a blind.
True love does not hurt. It does not mislead anybody. It thinks of only the welfare of the object of his/her love. And most of all, it disciplines. It teaches courage to face realities and attain peace and independence. It teaches acceptance. To say the least, true love empowers.
To bring back our kids to moral consciousness is empowerment. But it is certainly a tough job. If we had been amoral for a long time already, we will find so much difficulty to change because we have so much gray areas to take care of. But we must decide to eradicate the gray areas in our life or they will become black. Mas madali nga daw maging masama kesa maging mabuti’ng tao.
To this day, I keep praying for that kid. I had not heard of him anymore but I hope everything turns out fine for his own good. He is young and has, therefore, so much of life ahead. I hope he gains courage to face whatever consequence attached to what he has done, so he can finally move on. To evade the consequence is to only prolong his agony. Sisingilin at sisingilin tayo ng langit. (I shared with you that in our class, anak. Sana you still remember.)
My prayers for you, baby! God bless you.
I hope you still remember the issue where we discussed a bit regarding amorality because what I am going to share with you in this issue has something to do about it again.
At about a little past five (5) in the afternoon, as I was going down the stairs of my workplace, my attention was called by my lady-friend whom I had formed a sisterly bonding with for about three (3) years already. I was caught off-guard at her kind of approach because it was brutally frank. She was, in fact, sort of blaming me I was not able to prevent the “immoral” act of one of my noted student-counselee (his habit of taking things from others, stealing – in other words, has gone berserk it probably has become a kleptomania by now), he victimized her cousin-priest.
After hearing from her the details of the alleged incident, I told her calmly: “First of all, he did not tell me anything about this stealing habit he has. Although I have knowledge of this abominable habit prior, I had to wait for him to voluntarily tell me. And second of all, counseling does not involve interrogating.”
Days passed and came the weekend where I’d normally sit and think deeply (after I finish my “talent portion” – doing the laundry) about things that bother me. After offering my prayers for God’s guidance, I texted the said student-counselee, who had already graduated his bachelor’s degree, and informed him of what happened. I told him I was ashamed, in fact. Even before he replied, I expected to get a denial, of course. Wala nga daw magnanakaw ang umaming nagnakaw sila.
The one text that pissed me off, however, was when he told me that all those allegations (when he was yet in school) were plain loose talks because nobody came up with proof or evidence he indeed stole from his schoolmates. This was his reply when I told him that I knew of his bad habit even then, but reminded him at the same time that “if you will just keep a good heart, money will come to you.” I told him abruptly it was time we stop texting because his left brain was at work again. And I sensed it was an orientation he got from someone to evade every time he was on the verge of being caught.
My second to the last message for him was to reassure him of my unfading love and that I will just be around when he needs me. He thanked and texted back telling me that I am really his “secret nanay”. I said: no probs, anak. It’s fine by me. I don’t need to be recognized anyways.
By heaven’s decision, however, to my surprise, I was informed that he struck again! This time he finally got caught. Absolute natural law that nobody runs away from, we indeed must pay, always. Kundi man ngayon, bukas.
After the news, when I finally came to settle my mixed emotions for him, I thought that it was most probably the beginning of his refinement. Everything happens for a purpose, and I am a great believer of that. Especially because an tawo daw, kon diri ngani gud naaaluhan sin tiupay diri man magbabag-o. That, when we hit rock bottom there is nowhere to go, but up.
And then days after, I learned from an old woman friend, that some “father-figure” of this problematic kid was helping him get away with what he has done. Oh, my Lord! What in the world is this again? – I thought. I was taken aback. I froze. I did not know what to think exactly anymore.
Ganito ‘yan: the problem is not immorality right away. The problem begins very subtly. It is imperative for us to inculcate in our young the proper values right from the start. The problem that confronts us very seriously these days is amorality. Everybody, it seems, do not know anymore what is exactly right from wrong; young and old alike, everybody is becoming more and more amoral.
To me, it is a grave misconduct for an adult to be bringing a young with him down, morally speaking. In the context of love naman, I don’t think it is love for the young to teach him of ways to get away with his wrongdoing, no, I don’t think it’s because of love at all. I think it’s done for a serious selfish motive. It’s like a blind leading a blind.
True love does not hurt. It does not mislead anybody. It thinks of only the welfare of the object of his/her love. And most of all, it disciplines. It teaches courage to face realities and attain peace and independence. It teaches acceptance. To say the least, true love empowers.
To bring back our kids to moral consciousness is empowerment. But it is certainly a tough job. If we had been amoral for a long time already, we will find so much difficulty to change because we have so much gray areas to take care of. But we must decide to eradicate the gray areas in our life or they will become black. Mas madali nga daw maging masama kesa maging mabuti’ng tao.
To this day, I keep praying for that kid. I had not heard of him anymore but I hope everything turns out fine for his own good. He is young and has, therefore, so much of life ahead. I hope he gains courage to face whatever consequence attached to what he has done, so he can finally move on. To evade the consequence is to only prolong his agony. Sisingilin at sisingilin tayo ng langit. (I shared with you that in our class, anak. Sana you still remember.)
My prayers for you, baby! God bless you.
Monday, July 20, 2009
A.R.K.
Not much of a joiner and who has a habit of spontaneity, I was enjoying a movie with my eldest son this particular Saturday night. The movie: Evan Almighty. My son told me it was a sequel of Bruce Almighty. It was a very relaxing evening after the rather tight week days I had, especially because it had been awhile since I last saw a movie. The ending of the movie showed God writing, the word ARK, in the sand and at the same time providing the meaning of it: Act of Random Kindness.
My prayers before going to bed that night was focused on thanking God for providing me the way. You see, the so-called love for humanity can be very engulfing sometimes, I had been praying He lets my heart find rest in Him. His message He delivered through that movie: that I am task to perform exactly that, provide act of random kindness, not save the world. For it is only Jesus Christ He sent to save the world, nobody else. My task is to save my self, after that I got to build the ARK to reflect Him in me.
Late in the afternoon before that night though, there was this thought that kept nagging me: I was kind of sad it seemed to me like, the people who hold the key to helping the ones who need them (and there are many!) have set themselves apart from the rest. My messianic complex can, at times, be very bothering that it gets in my nerves. God’s message of building an ARK gives me the peace and quite I so needed for so long.
Back in those days, however, I had been (and I tried so hard) doing acts of kindness, but in my own translation. After my transformation I accepted that I did those to build my image. That although they were really offers of an all-out help, it was my self (and only my self) that mattered. There was no God in them. I was not reflecting Him in me.
It was in my time of adversity that I finally realized it was I first who needed the kindness I gave away to others. My interpretation then of selflessness was in fact and in truth selfishness. I was just using others for my image-building in the thought that by being kind to them they will also be to me. I was building castles in the sand. When my world collapsed, the people I served dropped me for dead! Yukat sa akon!
When I awoke I found out I made plenty of mistakes. So, I had to go back again. Start from where I needed to begin, but this time I had God in me through Jesus, His Son. He has to take the front seat. I had to be at the back seat because I was blind. I must pay.
Today, however, what sadden me are the ill motives of people for using people. John Powell had it in one of his books as a strong reminder that: “people need to use things and love people; not love things and use people.” But I think they fell into mindlessness, deaf ears and darkened hearts.
That is what the world is right now. We probably have to accept that, no matter the pain. We only need to contribute the way God wants of us. Use the unique gifts and talents He gave us as contribution to better the world. Every little good deed is indeed needed, more than the grandest intention we have.
As for me, I just have to live the best way I know how and give the most I can. I should not get in the way of God for whatever plans He has for His creations. To grapple with the wickedness of the world will only bring me frustrations and disappointments which will destroy me. The most important thing for me to consider and appreciate is God’s granting me His greatest gift of healing both my personality and my soul. Now is the most appropriate time for me to build God’s ARK – as my way of giving back to Him.
God bless us, everyone!
My prayers before going to bed that night was focused on thanking God for providing me the way. You see, the so-called love for humanity can be very engulfing sometimes, I had been praying He lets my heart find rest in Him. His message He delivered through that movie: that I am task to perform exactly that, provide act of random kindness, not save the world. For it is only Jesus Christ He sent to save the world, nobody else. My task is to save my self, after that I got to build the ARK to reflect Him in me.
Late in the afternoon before that night though, there was this thought that kept nagging me: I was kind of sad it seemed to me like, the people who hold the key to helping the ones who need them (and there are many!) have set themselves apart from the rest. My messianic complex can, at times, be very bothering that it gets in my nerves. God’s message of building an ARK gives me the peace and quite I so needed for so long.
Back in those days, however, I had been (and I tried so hard) doing acts of kindness, but in my own translation. After my transformation I accepted that I did those to build my image. That although they were really offers of an all-out help, it was my self (and only my self) that mattered. There was no God in them. I was not reflecting Him in me.
It was in my time of adversity that I finally realized it was I first who needed the kindness I gave away to others. My interpretation then of selflessness was in fact and in truth selfishness. I was just using others for my image-building in the thought that by being kind to them they will also be to me. I was building castles in the sand. When my world collapsed, the people I served dropped me for dead! Yukat sa akon!
When I awoke I found out I made plenty of mistakes. So, I had to go back again. Start from where I needed to begin, but this time I had God in me through Jesus, His Son. He has to take the front seat. I had to be at the back seat because I was blind. I must pay.
Today, however, what sadden me are the ill motives of people for using people. John Powell had it in one of his books as a strong reminder that: “people need to use things and love people; not love things and use people.” But I think they fell into mindlessness, deaf ears and darkened hearts.
That is what the world is right now. We probably have to accept that, no matter the pain. We only need to contribute the way God wants of us. Use the unique gifts and talents He gave us as contribution to better the world. Every little good deed is indeed needed, more than the grandest intention we have.
As for me, I just have to live the best way I know how and give the most I can. I should not get in the way of God for whatever plans He has for His creations. To grapple with the wickedness of the world will only bring me frustrations and disappointments which will destroy me. The most important thing for me to consider and appreciate is God’s granting me His greatest gift of healing both my personality and my soul. Now is the most appropriate time for me to build God’s ARK – as my way of giving back to Him.
God bless us, everyone!
Friday, July 10, 2009
FATHER
The month of June is here again. It is with great excitement that I enter into my world of grateful reminiscence once again every time we celebrate Father’s Day. Fond memories with the “great men of my life” always make me wish I am a little girl once more. As I wrote this I felt very emotional in praising God for giving me them. Ain’t I lucky?
It is very ironic though that at the very same time I also felt immeasurable sadness for the youth of today. Leo J. Trese, in his book MANY ARE ONE, exposed that “…in the primitive times, the father of the family was also the priest”. Eureka! I finally found the final piece to complete the puzzle I was so long trying to piece together to somehow find the answers to my innumerable whys – the causes of our ever increasing number of lost souls, both of this world and those in the other locations.
Like St. Thomas More, I think the most of us are also dreaming his dream for utopia. For who wouldn’t be? The killings that happened for the past few weeks are very disconcerting. It is a glaring truth that we have totally lost our reverence for life. I cry inside for every un-fateful eventuality, look up to the heavens and offer prayer, for that is all I can do. Literally, I sigh, where have all our fathers gone? What have they done when their kids were young? Where were they when their children needed them? What are they doing now? And I cry some more. Every time I feel the frustration I still shed tears of pain and loneliness maybe in realization that the dream will remain but a dream. What with the way things are.
As if this is not enough yet. The not-so-recent reshuffling of assignments (please correct me if I’m wrong) of our beloved priests in our most loved Diocese – in the words of Bishop Singzon, “the religiosity of Calbayog City is second to none” – has stirred up and effected malicious controversy upon its flock and parishioners, as if adding insult to injury. Figuratively then, I ask, what happened to you “Fathers”? What is it in Theology that made you Theomaniacs? What exactly are you doing that for? Satisfy your hunger for money which you did not have, or had not enough of, when you were growing up because you associated it with power? How on earth can you make me believe what you preach when your actions do not make me? Aren’t you a little too confused maybe about service and income? In the words of my good friend: income in the guise of service? You are supposed to have stipend la because your chosen field is for the betterment and most especially salvation of the people’s soul – because it is what is eternal – you are not there for profit. Kaya nga po tinawag kayo’ng Vicars for Christ, eh.
Two (2) weeks ago, my dearest friend – a nun – sent me this text message: “it is not what we have but what we give; not what we say but how we live.” That is what service is all about, dear “Fathers”! “Without love, everything that we say is but an empty sound” (maski nano niyo pa kaupay magyinakan), according to Leo J. Trese, to which I add, and everything that we do is but a mere action. Only Love gives meaning to everything.
This nun-friend of mine, by the way, did not even finish college because when she was barely there, her heart was achingly longing to serve God through His people. So, off she went inside a nunnery despite objections from her father, since she is his only daughter.
What about you? What were your motives when you to entered priesthood? With all due respect, I need to ask you that because if I won’t, who will? Isn’t it about time you pay close and very serious attention to the thoughts of Carl Jung when he said: “it is indeed high time for the clergy and the psychotherapists to join forces.”? Everybody needs to heal. No one is exempted. Nga sa akon personal la nga opinyon, ILABI NA GUD KAMO, ‘DRE!
The author of the book INTIMACY WITH GOD said, “we are culpable for every soul that we bring to hell.” At madami’ng madami pong souls ‘yang nakaatang sa mga balikat ninyo. I’m sorry, I know I really don’t need to remind you that. Pero kasi, because “Wisdom comes only from God”, ‘di natin namamalayan na iba na pala ang god na sinasamba natin kaya nawawala na tayo sa tamang landas. At pabobo na tayo nang pabobo, simply because we believed and were carried away by the lies and promises of the devil hidden in the materialism of this world. (see: Romans 1:21-25 and John 8:44)
I appeal to your heart and senses that if you must sell your soul, by all means, do that your self/selves. Kayo na lang po. Wag n’yo na pong dalhin at idamay pa ang iba’ng mga pobre at inosente’ng kaluluwa. Excuse me for saying this, but I don’t believe na sa hell, the more the merrier pa rin. Lord, have mercy on Your people!
The very moment I realized that we are all brothers and sisters in one big family of God, I told my kids to call me the way they want to. In fact I had always laughed heartily every time my eldest son addressed me by my first name – because he knows I dreaded to be called so then (another reason perhaps I adopted a pen name? Maybe). It is my youngest son who’d gracefully call me by my nickname na pinapaganda pa n’ya lalo by pronouncing it sweetly in one syllable. (I especially came to like, and eventually loved, my nickname since my third child informed me what it stands for: consecrated to God, daw. Kaya i’m trying very hard to live up to it. And I always need God’s power to be able to.) Their calling me those did not last long though. They went back to calling me Nanay. But I really believe in my heart it was not a case of “the tradition lived on” but a case of “respect begets respect”.
Again I say, people of God are people of courage. I wrote this not for the intention of hurting but for the purpose of awakening. True love must impose discipline through honesty. Jesus said, the Truth shall set you free. Catherine Booth’s words are inspiring to aspire: “if we are to better the future, we must disturb the present.” Here’s one more interesting quote I always read in a paper na matagal ko nang pinanggigigilang mag-react to: “evil triumphs because good men do nothing.” And I ask: “in that case, are they really good?” I really honestly think they are cowards yet. Sorry po…! To quote Leo J. Trese again: “It is easier to die for Christ than live for Him.”
As I say goodbye for now, may I leave you with what the Holy Bible said in Matthew 23:8-11 as follows: “but you, do not be called Rabbi; for one is your Teacher, the Christ, and you are all brethren. Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven. And do not be called teacher; for One is your Teacher, the Christ. But he who is greatest among you shall be your SERVANT.”
My evolution tells me that “Love is beyond religion.” That our choice of religion is our personal decision based on whatever reasons we have for choosing it, and for which nobody has the right to question. My opposition to what is currently happening is not at all indicative of any intent to leave (I am a self-declared Franciscan forever). For how are we to help if we are not there anymore?
Kaakibat ng desisyon ko to thread the narrow path ay ang desisyong ‘wag bumitaw, even when I am confronted by the harsh realities of life. Byron MacDonald said: “it is difficult to live in a culture and not be a part of the culture” (THE MORNING COMES, AND ALSO THE NIGHT). Kaya palaging the correct path is “the road less traveled” (M. Scott Peck). I must stay the course, no matter! Keep my Faith, and adopt the principle to “hate the sin, not the sinner/s.”
“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
Ciao, dearest friends, ciao!
It is very ironic though that at the very same time I also felt immeasurable sadness for the youth of today. Leo J. Trese, in his book MANY ARE ONE, exposed that “…in the primitive times, the father of the family was also the priest”. Eureka! I finally found the final piece to complete the puzzle I was so long trying to piece together to somehow find the answers to my innumerable whys – the causes of our ever increasing number of lost souls, both of this world and those in the other locations.
Like St. Thomas More, I think the most of us are also dreaming his dream for utopia. For who wouldn’t be? The killings that happened for the past few weeks are very disconcerting. It is a glaring truth that we have totally lost our reverence for life. I cry inside for every un-fateful eventuality, look up to the heavens and offer prayer, for that is all I can do. Literally, I sigh, where have all our fathers gone? What have they done when their kids were young? Where were they when their children needed them? What are they doing now? And I cry some more. Every time I feel the frustration I still shed tears of pain and loneliness maybe in realization that the dream will remain but a dream. What with the way things are.
As if this is not enough yet. The not-so-recent reshuffling of assignments (please correct me if I’m wrong) of our beloved priests in our most loved Diocese – in the words of Bishop Singzon, “the religiosity of Calbayog City is second to none” – has stirred up and effected malicious controversy upon its flock and parishioners, as if adding insult to injury. Figuratively then, I ask, what happened to you “Fathers”? What is it in Theology that made you Theomaniacs? What exactly are you doing that for? Satisfy your hunger for money which you did not have, or had not enough of, when you were growing up because you associated it with power? How on earth can you make me believe what you preach when your actions do not make me? Aren’t you a little too confused maybe about service and income? In the words of my good friend: income in the guise of service? You are supposed to have stipend la because your chosen field is for the betterment and most especially salvation of the people’s soul – because it is what is eternal – you are not there for profit. Kaya nga po tinawag kayo’ng Vicars for Christ, eh.
Two (2) weeks ago, my dearest friend – a nun – sent me this text message: “it is not what we have but what we give; not what we say but how we live.” That is what service is all about, dear “Fathers”! “Without love, everything that we say is but an empty sound” (maski nano niyo pa kaupay magyinakan), according to Leo J. Trese, to which I add, and everything that we do is but a mere action. Only Love gives meaning to everything.
This nun-friend of mine, by the way, did not even finish college because when she was barely there, her heart was achingly longing to serve God through His people. So, off she went inside a nunnery despite objections from her father, since she is his only daughter.
What about you? What were your motives when you to entered priesthood? With all due respect, I need to ask you that because if I won’t, who will? Isn’t it about time you pay close and very serious attention to the thoughts of Carl Jung when he said: “it is indeed high time for the clergy and the psychotherapists to join forces.”? Everybody needs to heal. No one is exempted. Nga sa akon personal la nga opinyon, ILABI NA GUD KAMO, ‘DRE!
The author of the book INTIMACY WITH GOD said, “we are culpable for every soul that we bring to hell.” At madami’ng madami pong souls ‘yang nakaatang sa mga balikat ninyo. I’m sorry, I know I really don’t need to remind you that. Pero kasi, because “Wisdom comes only from God”, ‘di natin namamalayan na iba na pala ang god na sinasamba natin kaya nawawala na tayo sa tamang landas. At pabobo na tayo nang pabobo, simply because we believed and were carried away by the lies and promises of the devil hidden in the materialism of this world. (see: Romans 1:21-25 and John 8:44)
I appeal to your heart and senses that if you must sell your soul, by all means, do that your self/selves. Kayo na lang po. Wag n’yo na pong dalhin at idamay pa ang iba’ng mga pobre at inosente’ng kaluluwa. Excuse me for saying this, but I don’t believe na sa hell, the more the merrier pa rin. Lord, have mercy on Your people!
The very moment I realized that we are all brothers and sisters in one big family of God, I told my kids to call me the way they want to. In fact I had always laughed heartily every time my eldest son addressed me by my first name – because he knows I dreaded to be called so then (another reason perhaps I adopted a pen name? Maybe). It is my youngest son who’d gracefully call me by my nickname na pinapaganda pa n’ya lalo by pronouncing it sweetly in one syllable. (I especially came to like, and eventually loved, my nickname since my third child informed me what it stands for: consecrated to God, daw. Kaya i’m trying very hard to live up to it. And I always need God’s power to be able to.) Their calling me those did not last long though. They went back to calling me Nanay. But I really believe in my heart it was not a case of “the tradition lived on” but a case of “respect begets respect”.
Again I say, people of God are people of courage. I wrote this not for the intention of hurting but for the purpose of awakening. True love must impose discipline through honesty. Jesus said, the Truth shall set you free. Catherine Booth’s words are inspiring to aspire: “if we are to better the future, we must disturb the present.” Here’s one more interesting quote I always read in a paper na matagal ko nang pinanggigigilang mag-react to: “evil triumphs because good men do nothing.” And I ask: “in that case, are they really good?” I really honestly think they are cowards yet. Sorry po…! To quote Leo J. Trese again: “It is easier to die for Christ than live for Him.”
As I say goodbye for now, may I leave you with what the Holy Bible said in Matthew 23:8-11 as follows: “but you, do not be called Rabbi; for one is your Teacher, the Christ, and you are all brethren. Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven. And do not be called teacher; for One is your Teacher, the Christ. But he who is greatest among you shall be your SERVANT.”
My evolution tells me that “Love is beyond religion.” That our choice of religion is our personal decision based on whatever reasons we have for choosing it, and for which nobody has the right to question. My opposition to what is currently happening is not at all indicative of any intent to leave (I am a self-declared Franciscan forever). For how are we to help if we are not there anymore?
Kaakibat ng desisyon ko to thread the narrow path ay ang desisyong ‘wag bumitaw, even when I am confronted by the harsh realities of life. Byron MacDonald said: “it is difficult to live in a culture and not be a part of the culture” (THE MORNING COMES, AND ALSO THE NIGHT). Kaya palaging the correct path is “the road less traveled” (M. Scott Peck). I must stay the course, no matter! Keep my Faith, and adopt the principle to “hate the sin, not the sinner/s.”
“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
Ciao, dearest friends, ciao!
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