Getting out of a long-dead marriage was an absolute salvation the heavens granted me. As I celebrate my fourth year of freedom from that "hell", i would like to write about my personal reflection about love and loving, with a "special someone". After all, love is the most exciting thing that could ever happen for the most of us anyways. I say this as a matter of fact because my experiential theory tells me that we are destined to finally end up happily either with a partner or in our single-blessedness if, and only if, “we seek first the kingdom of God". The path of our individual life becomes clearer and clearer as we put our complete trust in Him. There won't be room for regret when we depend everything to our Holy Father's will.
About a year past my broken "marriage", I considered myself quite fortunate to heal faster than the most I know of, the women who went through the same experience. My acknowledgment of the painful reality that I committed idolatry when I gave myself into that pitiful pathetic situation was probably enough for God to grant me His mercy and compassion. One more year after that grace, I began to live my life in joy despite having nobody, in particular.
Finding the true source of authentic self-esteem led me to find the loving side of me. It is through this that I found out our capacity to love everybody. When the words, "love even those whom you do not like", or "love your enemies" made sense to me. It was as if I was finally "risen from the dead", resurrected! From then on there was no stopping me.
Until one fine (?) day I discovered falling in love once more (kilig? 'Yan din akala ko noon. (sigh) keep reading, please). As honestly as I had been with you, I did not love this man at first because, apart from the fact that I loved somebody else that time (at least I thought then. Kalisang!), I resolved to myself not to fall that easy and early. There was no problem in meeting my goal because I can be really good at self-discipline if I put my whole heart into it. There is so much risk in what they call "love on the rebound". And at my age it would be stupidity to the nth degree to do that!
Sigmund Freud, in one of his numerous published texts, theorized that we actually love the "people of our past". This particularly nice, I'd much prefer to consider an exceptionally good man, was reliving the father of my childhood that he slowly swept me off my feet. (Gaga!) We seldom see each other, as we are both busy with our own lives. But as I expected, his company was always something to look forward to. We were not at all romantic but we love as realistically as possible in our individual realities. There was nothing to complain about. Or was there not really?
Trust and respect must be the basic ingredients to a happy and contented togetherness. There is no question to that. And we have abundance of both. I cannot exactly pinpoint where the problem lies. But I am beginning to see, and maybe feel, difficulties ahead. After having gone through super typhoons, the only thing I am certain about is that, I am not willing to live my life in compromises anymore, never again.
Fear is the greatest enemy that anybody can have. It must be that, when in a compromising situation we courageously face our fear. Or we become cowards forever. True men of God are men of courage. We have to be willing to pay the price. Something has got to give, always. The price of freedom is great. And I have to remain free... whether in love or out of it. Because if I make myself a prisoner of it, “I AM NOT IN LOVE BUT SIMPLY IN AN ADDICTION.”
Love does not hurt, ever! If it hurts, I can assure you, it is not love. It is but an addiction. The following, which i quote from the KYREGMA Magazine verbatim, just made me realize:
"Addiction is any compulsive, habitual behavior that limits the freedom
of human desire. It is caused by the attachment or nailing of desire to
specific objects, people, or events. It carries with it an idolatrous nature
which is the absolute enemy of human freedom, the antipathy of love."
We all have different belief system/s. Personally speaking, I still maintain my conviction that if one does not love him/her own self completely and honestly yet, he/she will not have the capacity to love fully and deeply in return. To me this is very important because there are almost always chances for relationships to develop into union and I am convinced now more than ever in Carl Jung's theory that "marriage is always an affair of the soul", as quoted by Thomas Moore in his book, SOUL MATES, Honoring Love and Relationships.
As I move forward in my life journey, I endlessly thank God for making me realize, that life is but a cycle of "loving - letting go - loving again - letting go again..." because the greatest is love.
“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future…” (Jeremiah 29:11)
God bless...
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
WHEN IS LOVING TOO MUCH
About two (2) years ago my interest of studying Theology has, kind of, taken me by surprise. It was too strong to resist, I was kept glued to different religious denominations offering their services on air or any form of media.
At one point I came across a particular “word” which the speaker labeled a sin. Because I tuned in late for its elaborate explanation, on why it was considered a sin, I tried hard to find an authority of the church to answer my question the following day. I was unable to find anybody unfortunately. One promised me after his research because he allegedly was not very well versed on such a subject. Naawod na ak pagbalik sa iya.
Come April, after our high school reunion, I had the opportunity to have a rather lengthy conversation with my one-of-a-kind intelligent classmate (he was our valedictorian) who’s now a very successful priest. When I asked him about my disturbing question, he said that it carries a whole lot of explanation to it and that he needed to know what particularly was it I was interested to know about, that was in relation to my question. Considering that he is (as I gathered later on) one of the most sought-after Theologians today, being an exemplary effective teacher, I had to make an extra effort not to get intimidated or I will defeat my purpose and maintain my ignorance.
I explained to him how I was bothered by the inexplicable death of one of my adoptive parents (my adoptive parents are normally the parents of my close friends) whom I so dearly loved. Since it is in my nature to seek for explanation regarding things I do not completely understand, it is but normal for me to present to him this one personally bothersome eventuality. Besides, I already had the feeling it has got some connection with the word the church considered a sin.
I summarized to him the relationship of the couple (my adoptive parents), which was sealed with honest friendships. They were in fact the best of friends. Where the one was, the other also was. Until the husband died suddenly of a heart attack. From then on, the wife who was at her pinkest of health when her husband died regressed slowly until her demise. Their children, who took pains in bringing her to life by giving to her the best services of the finest hospitals, were left clueless as to the cause of their mother’s death. I wouldn’t be sure, of course, even up until now, if it was probably because of loneliness. The only thing I am sure of is that, every time I went to visit her and told her gently, “I love you, nay…”, she’d cry.
Finishing that sad story off, my priest-friend told me briefly, “That is what relativism is all about”. I told him, by the way beforehand, I would like to understand specifically on relationship aspect why relativism is a sin.
When it was time for me to ponder, my memory went back to December 2003, when my son asked for my permission to marry by 2006. I told him I saw no problem with his decision because the both of them (he and his girlfriend) have already stable jobs. But that I also think that it would be better off if they find happiness first on each of their own individual self because definitely the joy would double during their togetherness. Maybe I must have hit the right key, until now I still have to hear my son repeat that request for permission. What I’d be told about instead are tales from their trips whenever they would find the time to unwind.
The most frightening thing for me by now is the decision to get married. Trauma? Not really. I mean, not exactly. It is more because of the devastations and disasters that come along with it. And it’s definitely not easy to get out of it. It is from this point of view that we, adults, must explain to the young the great importance of waiting.
It is in waiting alone, for God’s time to decide for us, that we can truly live in absolute bliss. We must wait because it is in waiting alone where we develop the most important virtue that is “patience”.
For now, let me leave you with what I have copied from my teenager son’s cell phone:
“Never say that someone completes you. We have to feel whole
even when we are by ourselves, for needing a certain someone
is not love, but dependency. Wanting a person to become a part
of our life is the best reason for having them. And you can only
want when you know that you have enough. So, rather than search
for that someone who you think will complete you, wait for the
person who will complement your completeness.”
It’s probably difficult. And I must say, it is! But to succeed we follow the rule that says:
NO PAIN, NO GAIN.
My prayers for you… Ciao!
At one point I came across a particular “word” which the speaker labeled a sin. Because I tuned in late for its elaborate explanation, on why it was considered a sin, I tried hard to find an authority of the church to answer my question the following day. I was unable to find anybody unfortunately. One promised me after his research because he allegedly was not very well versed on such a subject. Naawod na ak pagbalik sa iya.
Come April, after our high school reunion, I had the opportunity to have a rather lengthy conversation with my one-of-a-kind intelligent classmate (he was our valedictorian) who’s now a very successful priest. When I asked him about my disturbing question, he said that it carries a whole lot of explanation to it and that he needed to know what particularly was it I was interested to know about, that was in relation to my question. Considering that he is (as I gathered later on) one of the most sought-after Theologians today, being an exemplary effective teacher, I had to make an extra effort not to get intimidated or I will defeat my purpose and maintain my ignorance.
I explained to him how I was bothered by the inexplicable death of one of my adoptive parents (my adoptive parents are normally the parents of my close friends) whom I so dearly loved. Since it is in my nature to seek for explanation regarding things I do not completely understand, it is but normal for me to present to him this one personally bothersome eventuality. Besides, I already had the feeling it has got some connection with the word the church considered a sin.
I summarized to him the relationship of the couple (my adoptive parents), which was sealed with honest friendships. They were in fact the best of friends. Where the one was, the other also was. Until the husband died suddenly of a heart attack. From then on, the wife who was at her pinkest of health when her husband died regressed slowly until her demise. Their children, who took pains in bringing her to life by giving to her the best services of the finest hospitals, were left clueless as to the cause of their mother’s death. I wouldn’t be sure, of course, even up until now, if it was probably because of loneliness. The only thing I am sure of is that, every time I went to visit her and told her gently, “I love you, nay…”, she’d cry.
Finishing that sad story off, my priest-friend told me briefly, “That is what relativism is all about”. I told him, by the way beforehand, I would like to understand specifically on relationship aspect why relativism is a sin.
When it was time for me to ponder, my memory went back to December 2003, when my son asked for my permission to marry by 2006. I told him I saw no problem with his decision because the both of them (he and his girlfriend) have already stable jobs. But that I also think that it would be better off if they find happiness first on each of their own individual self because definitely the joy would double during their togetherness. Maybe I must have hit the right key, until now I still have to hear my son repeat that request for permission. What I’d be told about instead are tales from their trips whenever they would find the time to unwind.
The most frightening thing for me by now is the decision to get married. Trauma? Not really. I mean, not exactly. It is more because of the devastations and disasters that come along with it. And it’s definitely not easy to get out of it. It is from this point of view that we, adults, must explain to the young the great importance of waiting.
It is in waiting alone, for God’s time to decide for us, that we can truly live in absolute bliss. We must wait because it is in waiting alone where we develop the most important virtue that is “patience”.
For now, let me leave you with what I have copied from my teenager son’s cell phone:
“Never say that someone completes you. We have to feel whole
even when we are by ourselves, for needing a certain someone
is not love, but dependency. Wanting a person to become a part
of our life is the best reason for having them. And you can only
want when you know that you have enough. So, rather than search
for that someone who you think will complete you, wait for the
person who will complement your completeness.”
It’s probably difficult. And I must say, it is! But to succeed we follow the rule that says:
NO PAIN, NO GAIN.
My prayers for you… Ciao!
A WOMAN IS A WOMAN IS A WOMAN
My nieces and nephews are the best relatives God gave me. Even if we seldom see each other, we have kept the fire aflame in our hearts. Although there are no specific special dates to look forward to, which are typical in very closely-knit families, we are always overjoyed by each other’s company. Thrilling at exciting ang chikahan portion, especially with the girl-bonding sortie.
That one moment though is different from the rest. It is still vivid in my memory how I got so affected by the news concerning our young and beautiful cousin, as told by my nieces. It is not her death that got me despite its being a little early, but rather the unfortunate story behind it.
She was married at a very young age to her handsome and popular classmate. Their families have long-standing disagreements over something our generation knew nothing about because it was not considered for discussion. We have got so much respect for decisions of the olds that we just went with whatever their wishes are. The “tradition” lived on. 'Til this day, these families remained the “best of enemies” in our hometown. And I bet, it will go on for a long, long time. Only God knows what the effects of our negative culture that is “amoral familism” will bring the future generations. Ang alam ko lang, pasama ito nang pasama.
As is often the case, the boy went woman-crazed not too long after the marriage. They already had three (3) little children when the worse turned for the worst. He went to the ultimate high of irresponsibility when he left his family for the young girl he was crazy about. No problem, the society who is a spectator from the outside would later on judge, as “a man loses nothing when he does womanizing or philandering as he can always go back to his family after the good time”. That is how paternal our people are. I gently bow my head in my perfect confusion.
Scorned, my cousin chose “rebellion” as but a befitting reaction. She embraced every opportunity to be “happy” by drinking, disco hopping, etc. She practically went for whatever ride (she even went to her craziest when she also picked a man up, a man she barely knew) just to make her probably forget - or get even. The real reason remained in her heart, which she carried to her grave shortly after. I cannot describe how her pain affected me. The real cause of her death was mind-boggling.
Two (2) or three (3) years after that event, I would see the young woman her husband had taken to replace her. I don’t remember having problems with seeing the woman. I was, I think, emotionless, having been exposed to the same scandal since I was a kid. So I thought that it was just one of those and that, therefore, it was not such a big deal. What bothered me was the man’s family’s decision to let the girl also live with them in their house. Even if I already knew that amoral familism gets too off-balance more often in our society, what I discovered still sent me shivers. Could it be because I am a direct bloodline also of the other party?
In as far as my cousin’s personal decision to also carry an illicit affair, just to prove, haunted me to this day. This has caused me to think deeply and consider my womanhood more seriously more than ever. It was always said that, the most fortunate people are the people who learned from the mistakes of others, rather than they committing them. Maybe I would like to learn from her.
In my observance and acceptance that I am but a human being, I am also fully aware that, anytime I am bound to fall for the same natural phenomena as part of our human nature. And because it is my resolve not to live a life of hypocrisy I firmly promised me to watch over me and my every move. We have got to police our own self. Nobody can live our life for us. It would be a tremendous disaster if we do that because we are forever in search of a real happiness. Authentic happiness is very elusive. It can only be achieved when we live our life in peace. Peace of mind from a peaceful heart is crucial to having it.
It is my hope and fervent prayer that I please my God by being honest to myself first before the others as He created me a woman; that when I finally meet the “someone” (if I am meant to be according to His Will), I’d be ready to live in love with him. A woman is born a woman and must decide and act like a woman should be. Mother Mary showed us the perfection of being a woman and she is our eternal hope. Beware of false role models because the world is filled with frauds already. Be observant. Read between lines. Find your own identity, then, be yourself.
Hope, because it is the best that we can do. It is by hoping and praying that we can change. If we stop hoping the world will ultimately die, as it is already dead by the frauds that are in it. I don’t know if this will help you but sometime in my past it did me. I am referring to Voltaire’s quotation that said: “when everything is lost including HOPE, life becomes a disgrace and death a duty.”
Treat yourself right, woman - and God will bless you!
That one moment though is different from the rest. It is still vivid in my memory how I got so affected by the news concerning our young and beautiful cousin, as told by my nieces. It is not her death that got me despite its being a little early, but rather the unfortunate story behind it.
She was married at a very young age to her handsome and popular classmate. Their families have long-standing disagreements over something our generation knew nothing about because it was not considered for discussion. We have got so much respect for decisions of the olds that we just went with whatever their wishes are. The “tradition” lived on. 'Til this day, these families remained the “best of enemies” in our hometown. And I bet, it will go on for a long, long time. Only God knows what the effects of our negative culture that is “amoral familism” will bring the future generations. Ang alam ko lang, pasama ito nang pasama.
As is often the case, the boy went woman-crazed not too long after the marriage. They already had three (3) little children when the worse turned for the worst. He went to the ultimate high of irresponsibility when he left his family for the young girl he was crazy about. No problem, the society who is a spectator from the outside would later on judge, as “a man loses nothing when he does womanizing or philandering as he can always go back to his family after the good time”. That is how paternal our people are. I gently bow my head in my perfect confusion.
Scorned, my cousin chose “rebellion” as but a befitting reaction. She embraced every opportunity to be “happy” by drinking, disco hopping, etc. She practically went for whatever ride (she even went to her craziest when she also picked a man up, a man she barely knew) just to make her probably forget - or get even. The real reason remained in her heart, which she carried to her grave shortly after. I cannot describe how her pain affected me. The real cause of her death was mind-boggling.
Two (2) or three (3) years after that event, I would see the young woman her husband had taken to replace her. I don’t remember having problems with seeing the woman. I was, I think, emotionless, having been exposed to the same scandal since I was a kid. So I thought that it was just one of those and that, therefore, it was not such a big deal. What bothered me was the man’s family’s decision to let the girl also live with them in their house. Even if I already knew that amoral familism gets too off-balance more often in our society, what I discovered still sent me shivers. Could it be because I am a direct bloodline also of the other party?
In as far as my cousin’s personal decision to also carry an illicit affair, just to prove, haunted me to this day. This has caused me to think deeply and consider my womanhood more seriously more than ever. It was always said that, the most fortunate people are the people who learned from the mistakes of others, rather than they committing them. Maybe I would like to learn from her.
In my observance and acceptance that I am but a human being, I am also fully aware that, anytime I am bound to fall for the same natural phenomena as part of our human nature. And because it is my resolve not to live a life of hypocrisy I firmly promised me to watch over me and my every move. We have got to police our own self. Nobody can live our life for us. It would be a tremendous disaster if we do that because we are forever in search of a real happiness. Authentic happiness is very elusive. It can only be achieved when we live our life in peace. Peace of mind from a peaceful heart is crucial to having it.
It is my hope and fervent prayer that I please my God by being honest to myself first before the others as He created me a woman; that when I finally meet the “someone” (if I am meant to be according to His Will), I’d be ready to live in love with him. A woman is born a woman and must decide and act like a woman should be. Mother Mary showed us the perfection of being a woman and she is our eternal hope. Beware of false role models because the world is filled with frauds already. Be observant. Read between lines. Find your own identity, then, be yourself.
Hope, because it is the best that we can do. It is by hoping and praying that we can change. If we stop hoping the world will ultimately die, as it is already dead by the frauds that are in it. I don’t know if this will help you but sometime in my past it did me. I am referring to Voltaire’s quotation that said: “when everything is lost including HOPE, life becomes a disgrace and death a duty.”
Treat yourself right, woman - and God will bless you!
OF POETRY AND MUSIC
In line of my duty as a mother (and father) to my children I have to keep up with their pace. In keeping I have to follow closely and extend them my utmost support. For most of the times I enjoy God’s main job for me, but sometimes though I find myself at a loss because the genes maybe from my estranged husband comes too strong I find it a little hard to handle. Although I am naturally a music lover (maski diri ak love san music) I have difficulties when it comes to poetry.
The collaboration of my second (2nd) and third (3rd) sons resulted in about thirty (30) songs already. They have formed a band they call, FREERADIO, together with their cousin who plays the drums. I am featuring here my favorite because it is a personal prayer of my son. This song’s title is BURNING CANDLES. These are the lyrics:
Morning showers, Your Kingdom cries
Passing hours, heaven’s sigh
Could we turn to burning candles?
Frozen waters steal our time
Powdered fire on this land
Men are tired, “Could You give us a hand?”
Could we turn to burning candles?
Frozen waters steal this cup of mine
*But I’m graced and the land is fruitful
And I’m saved when I found this river
In my hands are promises kept
When my heart was captured and swept
When we turn to burning candles
Frozen waters still my soul divine. (*)
Honestly? Although I got to understand naman some of the texts I still had to ask my son some of those I did not get. Ganyan ako kawalang malay to poetry. I love people who are into poetry. Their work is a manifestation of their depth. To me they are thinkers who take life seriously, thus they most value and give premium on people.
Our older generation may fail to understand, much less appreciate, the music of the young today. It is because of this that I empathize with today’s generation. Yes, as it is the music of our age is soulful and thus pleasing to the ears. But if we try hard to find the meaning of the rather “noisy” music our young are fond of now and look beyond the noise itself, we will be surprised to find out that what they are doing is actually a desperate cry for attention. Today’s music is an expression, a far cry from the past that is basically music of impression.
Giving weight and applause to their expression is very rewarding for our young. As adults we have been kept busy with practically everything we laid our life on to keep busy about, and for what, to gain prestige; recognition; money; competition; or keep up with the Joneses? The possibilities are endless, as we are a people who are primarily driven by motives in order to gain synthetic or false power.
The young who are mostly left on the sidelights have grown up to hunger for our attention. They crave for our love. Ironically, now that they have indicated their need, mostly through music, we despise them. And as if our indifference is not yet enough, we further insult them by bragging to them about the glorious days of our past to which they find unable to relate. Josko, tika- dismayo na ak san dalagan san utok naton nga mga kalagsan. Pagkadagko na kit ngani!
I take this rare opportunity to congratulate the supportive parents and responsible adults of our community who extend whatever meager means to today’s generation. One day, they, the young of today, will overtake us as we retire and take on another level of our life journey. Whatever kindness we showed or showered them they will do the same to others as well. Your efforts of today will go a long way tomorrow. Kunta mauranan kam pirmi san grasya tikang sa langit basi magdamo kam. An kakuri gad man kay an kadam-an nagpipinauran san alcohol sa sulod san ira sistema sanglit nagtitidako ug nagtitig- dugang an problema. Baga kit an gremlins, siring san akon mga anak, may maupay, may diri maupay. Hain ka man?
If we find our young our problem, we will be surprised to know that we are theirs. Please pay close attention. Don’t be selfish. Don’t you know yet that you’ve been for so long? Bangin ngani all your life, hano? Joke!
God bless you that you may begin to decide to grow up. 2008 na!
The collaboration of my second (2nd) and third (3rd) sons resulted in about thirty (30) songs already. They have formed a band they call, FREERADIO, together with their cousin who plays the drums. I am featuring here my favorite because it is a personal prayer of my son. This song’s title is BURNING CANDLES. These are the lyrics:
Morning showers, Your Kingdom cries
Passing hours, heaven’s sigh
Could we turn to burning candles?
Frozen waters steal our time
Powdered fire on this land
Men are tired, “Could You give us a hand?”
Could we turn to burning candles?
Frozen waters steal this cup of mine
*But I’m graced and the land is fruitful
And I’m saved when I found this river
In my hands are promises kept
When my heart was captured and swept
When we turn to burning candles
Frozen waters still my soul divine. (*)
Honestly? Although I got to understand naman some of the texts I still had to ask my son some of those I did not get. Ganyan ako kawalang malay to poetry. I love people who are into poetry. Their work is a manifestation of their depth. To me they are thinkers who take life seriously, thus they most value and give premium on people.
Our older generation may fail to understand, much less appreciate, the music of the young today. It is because of this that I empathize with today’s generation. Yes, as it is the music of our age is soulful and thus pleasing to the ears. But if we try hard to find the meaning of the rather “noisy” music our young are fond of now and look beyond the noise itself, we will be surprised to find out that what they are doing is actually a desperate cry for attention. Today’s music is an expression, a far cry from the past that is basically music of impression.
Giving weight and applause to their expression is very rewarding for our young. As adults we have been kept busy with practically everything we laid our life on to keep busy about, and for what, to gain prestige; recognition; money; competition; or keep up with the Joneses? The possibilities are endless, as we are a people who are primarily driven by motives in order to gain synthetic or false power.
The young who are mostly left on the sidelights have grown up to hunger for our attention. They crave for our love. Ironically, now that they have indicated their need, mostly through music, we despise them. And as if our indifference is not yet enough, we further insult them by bragging to them about the glorious days of our past to which they find unable to relate. Josko, tika- dismayo na ak san dalagan san utok naton nga mga kalagsan. Pagkadagko na kit ngani!
I take this rare opportunity to congratulate the supportive parents and responsible adults of our community who extend whatever meager means to today’s generation. One day, they, the young of today, will overtake us as we retire and take on another level of our life journey. Whatever kindness we showed or showered them they will do the same to others as well. Your efforts of today will go a long way tomorrow. Kunta mauranan kam pirmi san grasya tikang sa langit basi magdamo kam. An kakuri gad man kay an kadam-an nagpipinauran san alcohol sa sulod san ira sistema sanglit nagtitidako ug nagtitig- dugang an problema. Baga kit an gremlins, siring san akon mga anak, may maupay, may diri maupay. Hain ka man?
If we find our young our problem, we will be surprised to know that we are theirs. Please pay close attention. Don’t be selfish. Don’t you know yet that you’ve been for so long? Bangin ngani all your life, hano? Joke!
God bless you that you may begin to decide to grow up. 2008 na!
WHAT ARE YOU REALLY?
Just as soon as my seminarian son came down from the seminary (our house is situated at its foot) this Christmas break he immediately prodded me to read Pope Benedict XVI’s encyclical letter, DEUS CARITAS EST. I am quoting him, on page 40, in today’s topic:
“…if in my life I fail completely to heed others, solely out of a
desire to be devout and to perform my religious duties, then my
relationship with God will also grow arid. It becomes merely
proper, but loveless.”
Let me tell you of an experience involving my apostolate with the young, following Dr. Jose Rizal’s belief that our youth is the hope of our motherland. There was this one boy who I was initially drawn close to. He seemed a good boy that I overlooked the details that I am particularly meticulous about. It is normally in the details that I determine probabilities of a person. He acted and talked nice. So I was immediately smitten by his charm.
One summer night he arrived at our doorstep and excitedly told me of his meeting a very fine man who showered him with gifts in that instant. He said, it was hard to believe that there could be a man so goodhearted as him. I said, now you know that there still are. All you need to do to repay him is to pray for him that he be spared from the opportunists who come by the thousands these days, I added some more. And then later on when it is your time to help you can repay him by paying forward the kindness that he showed you, I continued.
I was all faith in telling him those I must have misjudged the moment. Maybe he was too engrossed with his own elation he did not hear actually anything I told him. A few months after, because he was taken in by that fine man to be considered and treated his own son, his true color surfaced slowly but very surely. Alas, I found out I was duped again! The thing is I could be so honest and so trusting to a fault. Nevertheless, I do not regret every opportunity that came my way. My tatay, Rev. Rod San Jose, OFM, had it in his sent message to me: No mistakes in life. Only lessons.
Today, as I continue to understand how he must have been shaped to be like that (a wolf in a sheep’s clothing) I begin to strengthen my belief that life is pretty much an “interplay” of so many, many things. This interplay causes the mysteries that are so plentiful in human life. Even those that I have discarded already I must get back and review to understand further this boy’s very cunning attributes.
I see and feel so much disaster in the future should his much-too-skewed personality continue to flourish. This kind is too dangerous to deal with because to really know what he really is and how he operates will take a very, very long time. For the most, this type’s real self is never found out. The object of his victimization is often left shattered in the end, although he neither goes unhurt. People of this kind are very unhappy and they will remain in their un-fateful state of unhappiness unless they decide to change and find their real honest-to-goodness self. In the words of Jesus Christ: THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE.
I am amused at how I’d been victimized by this boy when almost half of my earth-life (as I wrote this) was spent with exactly the same kind of a person. Di na talaga ako natuto! I am amazed at how I could really get both gaga and boba sometimes. Sus, Ginoo!
As I see him today, I continue to pray for him but prefer to keep my distance. I do not believe in giving my services to someone who does not voluntarily calls for me and requests me for a personal check and balance. I believe more on letting God proceed with whatever His plans are. Pride is a big thing for people of this kind. Usually this is unconsciously their main drive for later on attaining for themselves the other capital sins, of course, to their own detriment. I pity the people who they come in contact with and become their innocent victims. The best that I can do is pray for the both of them.
I feel the warmth of my tears as they roll down my cheeks while I am writing this. I have come to love dearly and honestly his victim of the moment. Seeing myself in him when I was yet in the same situation gets into my system and I relive the pain again. God bless these souls!
I do not know how to end this. Except maybe by telling you to please, please get to know the real man or woman you are with. We can only do that by means of getting to know our real self, first. It is in knowing our authentic self (the one that is created in the image and likeness of God; the one who is living Christ in him) that we can hold our heart. We must hold our heart because we can never go wrong if we follow it. Please don’t make decisions too hastily. Wait. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Some people are just being proper, they do not actually live in love. Ayaw na gad pauwat, sangkay!
My prayers for you. Ciao.
“…if in my life I fail completely to heed others, solely out of a
desire to be devout and to perform my religious duties, then my
relationship with God will also grow arid. It becomes merely
proper, but loveless.”
Let me tell you of an experience involving my apostolate with the young, following Dr. Jose Rizal’s belief that our youth is the hope of our motherland. There was this one boy who I was initially drawn close to. He seemed a good boy that I overlooked the details that I am particularly meticulous about. It is normally in the details that I determine probabilities of a person. He acted and talked nice. So I was immediately smitten by his charm.
One summer night he arrived at our doorstep and excitedly told me of his meeting a very fine man who showered him with gifts in that instant. He said, it was hard to believe that there could be a man so goodhearted as him. I said, now you know that there still are. All you need to do to repay him is to pray for him that he be spared from the opportunists who come by the thousands these days, I added some more. And then later on when it is your time to help you can repay him by paying forward the kindness that he showed you, I continued.
I was all faith in telling him those I must have misjudged the moment. Maybe he was too engrossed with his own elation he did not hear actually anything I told him. A few months after, because he was taken in by that fine man to be considered and treated his own son, his true color surfaced slowly but very surely. Alas, I found out I was duped again! The thing is I could be so honest and so trusting to a fault. Nevertheless, I do not regret every opportunity that came my way. My tatay, Rev. Rod San Jose, OFM, had it in his sent message to me: No mistakes in life. Only lessons.
Today, as I continue to understand how he must have been shaped to be like that (a wolf in a sheep’s clothing) I begin to strengthen my belief that life is pretty much an “interplay” of so many, many things. This interplay causes the mysteries that are so plentiful in human life. Even those that I have discarded already I must get back and review to understand further this boy’s very cunning attributes.
I see and feel so much disaster in the future should his much-too-skewed personality continue to flourish. This kind is too dangerous to deal with because to really know what he really is and how he operates will take a very, very long time. For the most, this type’s real self is never found out. The object of his victimization is often left shattered in the end, although he neither goes unhurt. People of this kind are very unhappy and they will remain in their un-fateful state of unhappiness unless they decide to change and find their real honest-to-goodness self. In the words of Jesus Christ: THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE.
I am amused at how I’d been victimized by this boy when almost half of my earth-life (as I wrote this) was spent with exactly the same kind of a person. Di na talaga ako natuto! I am amazed at how I could really get both gaga and boba sometimes. Sus, Ginoo!
As I see him today, I continue to pray for him but prefer to keep my distance. I do not believe in giving my services to someone who does not voluntarily calls for me and requests me for a personal check and balance. I believe more on letting God proceed with whatever His plans are. Pride is a big thing for people of this kind. Usually this is unconsciously their main drive for later on attaining for themselves the other capital sins, of course, to their own detriment. I pity the people who they come in contact with and become their innocent victims. The best that I can do is pray for the both of them.
I feel the warmth of my tears as they roll down my cheeks while I am writing this. I have come to love dearly and honestly his victim of the moment. Seeing myself in him when I was yet in the same situation gets into my system and I relive the pain again. God bless these souls!
I do not know how to end this. Except maybe by telling you to please, please get to know the real man or woman you are with. We can only do that by means of getting to know our real self, first. It is in knowing our authentic self (the one that is created in the image and likeness of God; the one who is living Christ in him) that we can hold our heart. We must hold our heart because we can never go wrong if we follow it. Please don’t make decisions too hastily. Wait. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Some people are just being proper, they do not actually live in love. Ayaw na gad pauwat, sangkay!
My prayers for you. Ciao.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
OF FRIENDSHIPS AND SOULMATES
Gary Zukav, author of the "THE SEAT OF THE SOUL", was at the Oprah Winfrey Show when i opened the TV and tuned in to ABS-CBN" Studio 23 a few years back. He was there for a promotional stint for the said book.
Curious, i listened intently to him explaining the gist of his book which he said was a philosophical understanding that we are actually all soulmates. When we consider our planet as a big classroom where we call everybody our classmates, then we are all soulmates. Good point, i thought. This idea guided me through in honing the left hemisphere of my brain.
Then one day a powerful text message, regarding "being meant for each other", was sent to me. The sender did not divulge who he/she was when i requested for an identity. I intended to just forget it, as i always do with anonymous texters because i am not bent on solving mysteries. It kept bugging me though. With all the conscious efforts i found, i stubbornly resisted.
Weeks after, i was in a pleasant conversation with a manager-lady friend. In all actuality we are not really that close yet and in fact that was just our second personal meeting. But we seem to always hit it off. The first time we met i personally liked her a lot. I got a feeling immediately that she is such a God-spirited beautiful person. This second meeting confirmed that first impression.
The most inspiring subject that struck me in that quite lengthy but very enjoyable conversation was about her husband, who has been and still is (sadly, because she said she misses him a lot) working abroad, and their very good relationship despite the distance. In my admiration, i could not help but express my happiness for them. I could only imagine their shared happy moments. Yes, it's really because my basis for a happy and contented life is the belief that "there is no perfect life, only perfect moments". I got this idea somewhere, i cannot remember anymore. Was it from a TV ad? i am not really sure. Sorry.
Sentimentally speaking, while we were on their husband-and-wife topic, my mind was simultaneously flooded with the text message of "being meant for each other" again. And long after the talk, i found it difficult to rid.
Honestly, for a time i had already been convinced about Gary Zukav's theory. In fact i am up to now still convinced we can all be soulmates if there is honest friendship/s, for it is in this only where good friendships are rooted in. Now i am headed, i think, to re-think regarding honest-to-goodness "real soulmates" and the possibility of it. My manager-lady friend and her husband's relationship is evidence i just recognized. i hope to find many more despite my skepticism.
While waiting for more, i might settle patiently yet with my personal theory that, if indeed there is such "real soulmates" (that "being meant for each other" thing) it comes very, very rarely. Maybe the people involved in this sort, who are supposed to be real soulmates, only find each other when the both of them have already reached their level of divinity. Probably after coming into terms with their own self and having truly found their rests in God. That maybe this soulmates thing could be one of life's mysteries. And that maybe they are God's gift to each other for enduring the odds as His obedient servants.
For the moment i say, i am truly happy for those who have honestly found their soulmates. Congratulations! We get what and who we deserve indeed. You most honestly deserve yours. There really comes a time for pay offs.
At the same time though, i do fervently hope and pray for people not to easily be swayed by the "promise of soulmates". Please don't be desperate because when our drive for "love/soulmate search" is desperation, we are headed for failure and more desperation. We have seen numerous victims around us. Love yourself by working and praying hard not to be one of those victims. Your life is too precious to be wasted. Don't forget that you are your life's steward and that your life, itself, is God's greatest gift to you.
Your true honest-to-goodness soulmate will come to you only in God's time. There is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:8). Be patient but pray hard and put your best efforts to change you first. When you love you, love will come to you.
God bless, dearest friends!
Curious, i listened intently to him explaining the gist of his book which he said was a philosophical understanding that we are actually all soulmates. When we consider our planet as a big classroom where we call everybody our classmates, then we are all soulmates. Good point, i thought. This idea guided me through in honing the left hemisphere of my brain.
Then one day a powerful text message, regarding "being meant for each other", was sent to me. The sender did not divulge who he/she was when i requested for an identity. I intended to just forget it, as i always do with anonymous texters because i am not bent on solving mysteries. It kept bugging me though. With all the conscious efforts i found, i stubbornly resisted.
Weeks after, i was in a pleasant conversation with a manager-lady friend. In all actuality we are not really that close yet and in fact that was just our second personal meeting. But we seem to always hit it off. The first time we met i personally liked her a lot. I got a feeling immediately that she is such a God-spirited beautiful person. This second meeting confirmed that first impression.
The most inspiring subject that struck me in that quite lengthy but very enjoyable conversation was about her husband, who has been and still is (sadly, because she said she misses him a lot) working abroad, and their very good relationship despite the distance. In my admiration, i could not help but express my happiness for them. I could only imagine their shared happy moments. Yes, it's really because my basis for a happy and contented life is the belief that "there is no perfect life, only perfect moments". I got this idea somewhere, i cannot remember anymore. Was it from a TV ad? i am not really sure. Sorry.
Sentimentally speaking, while we were on their husband-and-wife topic, my mind was simultaneously flooded with the text message of "being meant for each other" again. And long after the talk, i found it difficult to rid.
Honestly, for a time i had already been convinced about Gary Zukav's theory. In fact i am up to now still convinced we can all be soulmates if there is honest friendship/s, for it is in this only where good friendships are rooted in. Now i am headed, i think, to re-think regarding honest-to-goodness "real soulmates" and the possibility of it. My manager-lady friend and her husband's relationship is evidence i just recognized. i hope to find many more despite my skepticism.
While waiting for more, i might settle patiently yet with my personal theory that, if indeed there is such "real soulmates" (that "being meant for each other" thing) it comes very, very rarely. Maybe the people involved in this sort, who are supposed to be real soulmates, only find each other when the both of them have already reached their level of divinity. Probably after coming into terms with their own self and having truly found their rests in God. That maybe this soulmates thing could be one of life's mysteries. And that maybe they are God's gift to each other for enduring the odds as His obedient servants.
For the moment i say, i am truly happy for those who have honestly found their soulmates. Congratulations! We get what and who we deserve indeed. You most honestly deserve yours. There really comes a time for pay offs.
At the same time though, i do fervently hope and pray for people not to easily be swayed by the "promise of soulmates". Please don't be desperate because when our drive for "love/soulmate search" is desperation, we are headed for failure and more desperation. We have seen numerous victims around us. Love yourself by working and praying hard not to be one of those victims. Your life is too precious to be wasted. Don't forget that you are your life's steward and that your life, itself, is God's greatest gift to you.
Your true honest-to-goodness soulmate will come to you only in God's time. There is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:8). Be patient but pray hard and put your best efforts to change you first. When you love you, love will come to you.
God bless, dearest friends!
CHRISTIANITY: What Is It About?
“He who has little and wants less is richer than he who has much and wants more. Happy are those who count their blessings with a grateful heart”. This is one of the great text messages that my ever-kind Earth-father, Rev. Rod San Jose, OFM, sent me.
As I celebrate my birthday on one August day I was astounded when my former students greeted me with a song and nice messages written in colorful cards. They stayed for a while and we pleasantly shared moments of laughter. We didn’t have anything that day but love for each other.
Most, if not all, of the students in the seminary nowadays (maybe even for quite a long time already) belong to very humble families who experience financial crises in these difficult and trying times. Yet both the parents and the seminarians try very hard to make ends meet in pursuit of their dream to help other people through their vocation. This is the ideal dream of the young seminarians.
Idealism is a natural occurrence for any young mind. But the problem always lies in the sustenance of the dream. As they grow older they also grow very differently with one another. As it has always been: united we stand divided we fall. The fortunate ones who prefer to grow wiser are very few considering so many factors that affect greatly the formation of their young and innocent minds.
My best friend once told me about the homily of one good priest he was able to attend to in one of this priest Eucharistic celebration. The very reminder that got stuck in the head of my best friend, according to him, was about giving them something to eat, about feeding them, instead of giving them material things that might just entice them.
Friends, the lure of the world today is so great and many there is no particular age limit anymore for negative and deadly effects. And because discontent is part of man’s nature he is growing insatiable every second that he wants it all and he wants it now!
The world in general is in dire need of great people, especially through priestly vocations, to offer sincere and truthful service to wounded populace. Our brokenness caused us to be wounded.. We need great spirits to travel with us in our journey in order for us to mend and be whole again. It is through this alone where we can make effective contributions to the greater benefit of the world.
It is very sad, however, but the reality is: where before there were numerous goodhearted people who supported the young seminarians, nowadays they come in trickle. And they are banishing in the passage of time. Many vocations had been lost all because they did not have the necessary financial requirement to follow their dream – of service!
People would rather buy things that are not really necessary for their survival, things that they actually don’t need. They buy because they just want them and usually for show-offs. This is generated by the thought that “I must be over and above anybody”, from insecurity deep within. Competition is practically present everywhere. So we put our money on unimportant things. Never mind the others.
I wrote this at my typical best – my being a “scatterbrain” (observe the line/pattern of my thoughts). The loss of vocations for this highly important quest frustrates me so much I am losing my thoughts. I do not exactly know where this is headed…that it is probably best to end this with a quote also sent to me by my ever-dearest Earth-father:
A Christian is:
a mind through which Christ thinks;
a voice through which Christ speaks;
a heart through which Christ loves; and
a hand through which Christ helps.
Now tell me, are we really Christians?
God bless everyone!
As I celebrate my birthday on one August day I was astounded when my former students greeted me with a song and nice messages written in colorful cards. They stayed for a while and we pleasantly shared moments of laughter. We didn’t have anything that day but love for each other.
Most, if not all, of the students in the seminary nowadays (maybe even for quite a long time already) belong to very humble families who experience financial crises in these difficult and trying times. Yet both the parents and the seminarians try very hard to make ends meet in pursuit of their dream to help other people through their vocation. This is the ideal dream of the young seminarians.
Idealism is a natural occurrence for any young mind. But the problem always lies in the sustenance of the dream. As they grow older they also grow very differently with one another. As it has always been: united we stand divided we fall. The fortunate ones who prefer to grow wiser are very few considering so many factors that affect greatly the formation of their young and innocent minds.
My best friend once told me about the homily of one good priest he was able to attend to in one of this priest Eucharistic celebration. The very reminder that got stuck in the head of my best friend, according to him, was about giving them something to eat, about feeding them, instead of giving them material things that might just entice them.
Friends, the lure of the world today is so great and many there is no particular age limit anymore for negative and deadly effects. And because discontent is part of man’s nature he is growing insatiable every second that he wants it all and he wants it now!
The world in general is in dire need of great people, especially through priestly vocations, to offer sincere and truthful service to wounded populace. Our brokenness caused us to be wounded.. We need great spirits to travel with us in our journey in order for us to mend and be whole again. It is through this alone where we can make effective contributions to the greater benefit of the world.
It is very sad, however, but the reality is: where before there were numerous goodhearted people who supported the young seminarians, nowadays they come in trickle. And they are banishing in the passage of time. Many vocations had been lost all because they did not have the necessary financial requirement to follow their dream – of service!
People would rather buy things that are not really necessary for their survival, things that they actually don’t need. They buy because they just want them and usually for show-offs. This is generated by the thought that “I must be over and above anybody”, from insecurity deep within. Competition is practically present everywhere. So we put our money on unimportant things. Never mind the others.
I wrote this at my typical best – my being a “scatterbrain” (observe the line/pattern of my thoughts). The loss of vocations for this highly important quest frustrates me so much I am losing my thoughts. I do not exactly know where this is headed…that it is probably best to end this with a quote also sent to me by my ever-dearest Earth-father:
A Christian is:
a mind through which Christ thinks;
a voice through which Christ speaks;
a heart through which Christ loves; and
a hand through which Christ helps.
Now tell me, are we really Christians?
God bless everyone!
Love Makes The World Go Round
"Love makes the world go round." This makes February an exciting month for those of us who know love and know how to love passionately. It is always fascinating to observe people in love.. They are those who provide for the numerous exciting and interesting colors in this world.
Love, which is supposed to be a symbiotic relationship however, through the passage of time has changed dramatically. Where before it was shared with passion, endurance, and sacrifice, now it is quite translated as purely a rewarding relationship. "I'm sorry, I am not happy with you anymore!" whether blatantly spoken or behaviorally acted out would seem to be the cause for separation, physically or otherwise. We have become very feeling people and are becoming more and more. This loss of balance is eating us up very rapidly and can cause the world's rot.
Love actually is transcendental. Sad, but we can never find love if we maintain our focus outside of ourselves. The thought of finding love from other people, be it from our own family or outside of it, drives us to woe people endlessly by being or constantly playing nice to them even if sometimes we do not want to. In our youth this practice might have been okay but as we grow older we will come to realize the varieties of pain that accompany this thought. And this pain will lead us to our own destruction.
Love begins with character-formation. Character-formation is begun with the simplest decision/choice that we make practically each day. There are basically only two (2) main life choices: social ethics; or character ethics. Social ethics is geared towards pleasing people; while character ethics is towards pleasing God. We fail to recognize often that by pleasing God alone we please people in return. That character ethics is the foundational basis for social ethics. Isn't it just ironic when we hear ourselves sigh in frustration, "we cannot really please everybody"?
Love is, loving yourself first. "We cannot give what we do not have" clearly illustrates the futility of our efforts to love others to get back love as ROI (Return on Investment). You have got to invest on your self first. The main focus must be directed on you first and foremost. You cannot enjoy your flowers if you planted and tended them in another's garden. You have to plant and take care of them to truly enjoy the flowers in your own garden.
Go back to the memories of your childhood, as far back as you can no matter the pain, and you will discover the answers to your web of plaguing questions that contributed to your confusion and caused you deep anguish. But most importantly seek God's help to help you out because everything in this world is in His grace and mercy. He is the greatest Physician. Kaya nga "nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa". Without our submission and willingness, every effort taken is wasted.
i am always overwhelmed with joy every time i say the third Glorious mystery, the Descent of the Holy Spirit upon the Apostles, because it reminds me of God's promise to be in each and every one of us. We all are His apostles. But we turn our backs on Him. In His goodness we give Him never-ending suffering by being stubborn children. He is inside the heart of each and every one of us but we choose to forget and forsake Him. Unloving your self is by far the greatest pain that you give God. Think about that. Reflect.
In closing i share with one of my most loved reflections way back: "We were created by God with a heart at the very core of our being but we often deal with ourselves and others without it."
Happy Heart's month, dearly beloved friends! God bless...
Love, which is supposed to be a symbiotic relationship however, through the passage of time has changed dramatically. Where before it was shared with passion, endurance, and sacrifice, now it is quite translated as purely a rewarding relationship. "I'm sorry, I am not happy with you anymore!" whether blatantly spoken or behaviorally acted out would seem to be the cause for separation, physically or otherwise. We have become very feeling people and are becoming more and more. This loss of balance is eating us up very rapidly and can cause the world's rot.
Love actually is transcendental. Sad, but we can never find love if we maintain our focus outside of ourselves. The thought of finding love from other people, be it from our own family or outside of it, drives us to woe people endlessly by being or constantly playing nice to them even if sometimes we do not want to. In our youth this practice might have been okay but as we grow older we will come to realize the varieties of pain that accompany this thought. And this pain will lead us to our own destruction.
Love begins with character-formation. Character-formation is begun with the simplest decision/choice that we make practically each day. There are basically only two (2) main life choices: social ethics; or character ethics. Social ethics is geared towards pleasing people; while character ethics is towards pleasing God. We fail to recognize often that by pleasing God alone we please people in return. That character ethics is the foundational basis for social ethics. Isn't it just ironic when we hear ourselves sigh in frustration, "we cannot really please everybody"?
Love is, loving yourself first. "We cannot give what we do not have" clearly illustrates the futility of our efforts to love others to get back love as ROI (Return on Investment). You have got to invest on your self first. The main focus must be directed on you first and foremost. You cannot enjoy your flowers if you planted and tended them in another's garden. You have to plant and take care of them to truly enjoy the flowers in your own garden.
Go back to the memories of your childhood, as far back as you can no matter the pain, and you will discover the answers to your web of plaguing questions that contributed to your confusion and caused you deep anguish. But most importantly seek God's help to help you out because everything in this world is in His grace and mercy. He is the greatest Physician. Kaya nga "nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa". Without our submission and willingness, every effort taken is wasted.
i am always overwhelmed with joy every time i say the third Glorious mystery, the Descent of the Holy Spirit upon the Apostles, because it reminds me of God's promise to be in each and every one of us. We all are His apostles. But we turn our backs on Him. In His goodness we give Him never-ending suffering by being stubborn children. He is inside the heart of each and every one of us but we choose to forget and forsake Him. Unloving your self is by far the greatest pain that you give God. Think about that. Reflect.
In closing i share with one of my most loved reflections way back: "We were created by God with a heart at the very core of our being but we often deal with ourselves and others without it."
Happy Heart's month, dearly beloved friends! God bless...
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