About two (2) years ago my interest of studying Theology has, kind of, taken me by surprise. It was too strong to resist, I was kept glued to different religious denominations offering their services on air or any form of media.
At one point I came across a particular “word” which the speaker labeled a sin. Because I tuned in late for its elaborate explanation, on why it was considered a sin, I tried hard to find an authority of the church to answer my question the following day. I was unable to find anybody unfortunately. One promised me after his research because he allegedly was not very well versed on such a subject. Naawod na ak pagbalik sa iya.
Come April, after our high school reunion, I had the opportunity to have a rather lengthy conversation with my one-of-a-kind intelligent classmate (he was our valedictorian) who’s now a very successful priest. When I asked him about my disturbing question, he said that it carries a whole lot of explanation to it and that he needed to know what particularly was it I was interested to know about, that was in relation to my question. Considering that he is (as I gathered later on) one of the most sought-after Theologians today, being an exemplary effective teacher, I had to make an extra effort not to get intimidated or I will defeat my purpose and maintain my ignorance.
I explained to him how I was bothered by the inexplicable death of one of my adoptive parents (my adoptive parents are normally the parents of my close friends) whom I so dearly loved. Since it is in my nature to seek for explanation regarding things I do not completely understand, it is but normal for me to present to him this one personally bothersome eventuality. Besides, I already had the feeling it has got some connection with the word the church considered a sin.
I summarized to him the relationship of the couple (my adoptive parents), which was sealed with honest friendships. They were in fact the best of friends. Where the one was, the other also was. Until the husband died suddenly of a heart attack. From then on, the wife who was at her pinkest of health when her husband died regressed slowly until her demise. Their children, who took pains in bringing her to life by giving to her the best services of the finest hospitals, were left clueless as to the cause of their mother’s death. I wouldn’t be sure, of course, even up until now, if it was probably because of loneliness. The only thing I am sure of is that, every time I went to visit her and told her gently, “I love you, nay…”, she’d cry.
Finishing that sad story off, my priest-friend told me briefly, “That is what relativism is all about”. I told him, by the way beforehand, I would like to understand specifically on relationship aspect why relativism is a sin.
When it was time for me to ponder, my memory went back to December 2003, when my son asked for my permission to marry by 2006. I told him I saw no problem with his decision because the both of them (he and his girlfriend) have already stable jobs. But that I also think that it would be better off if they find happiness first on each of their own individual self because definitely the joy would double during their togetherness. Maybe I must have hit the right key, until now I still have to hear my son repeat that request for permission. What I’d be told about instead are tales from their trips whenever they would find the time to unwind.
The most frightening thing for me by now is the decision to get married. Trauma? Not really. I mean, not exactly. It is more because of the devastations and disasters that come along with it. And it’s definitely not easy to get out of it. It is from this point of view that we, adults, must explain to the young the great importance of waiting.
It is in waiting alone, for God’s time to decide for us, that we can truly live in absolute bliss. We must wait because it is in waiting alone where we develop the most important virtue that is “patience”.
For now, let me leave you with what I have copied from my teenager son’s cell phone:
“Never say that someone completes you. We have to feel whole
even when we are by ourselves, for needing a certain someone
is not love, but dependency. Wanting a person to become a part
of our life is the best reason for having them. And you can only
want when you know that you have enough. So, rather than search
for that someone who you think will complete you, wait for the
person who will complement your completeness.”
It’s probably difficult. And I must say, it is! But to succeed we follow the rule that says:
NO PAIN, NO GAIN.
My prayers for you… Ciao!
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