COMMON SENSE?

Hayden Kho’s sex video scandal with different women overtime became the instant flavor of the month (harinawa’ng di naman ito bumilang ng mga buwan, Diyos ko!) and it’s been annoying to hear people talk about nonsense. Unless we consciously choose and decide to learn from the lessons brought about by the people involved in the scandal we will just be wasting our precious time talking about nonsense.

Jesus said: “let those who have not sinned cast the first stone.” Upon closer scrutiny the truth that we are all sinners is the reason for our talking and having fun about nonsense. And I ask myself: where have all our common sense gone? Our insensibility and insensitivity (both words denote the absence of feelings and emotions) toward our brothers and sisters erased the sense from our common sense. What has been left in us is the common na lang – so we are commonplace, everywhere. That is why it is so easy for us to pick on other people. Look at them more than look at our self.

History keeps repeating itself since nobody knows when. The saddest fact is, we will keep history repeating itself because of our own negligence due to ignorance because we constantly keep our focus elsewhere – to something nonsense. “Everybody needs something to measure his/her life against.” – I learned this from authorities in the field of Psychology. This is where I attribute the veneration of the Saints in the Catholic religion.

In these modern times, however, we need the urgency for living models necessary to mold the moral values of the young, so that they will live according to what is expected of human beings in a civilized world. Hayden Kho was only about 27 or 28 years old when this hullabaloo begun sometime last year. According to Sigmund Freud, a person attains fixation of his/her personality when he/she reaches around these ages. After that, he/she is difficult to change anymore.

Although I am very partial to Freud’s theory, I am more inclined to Carl Jung’s because of his amazing evolutionary theories, because his reference is very limited to what I call “human language”, I saw great opportunity for Hayden’s growth when I read his lengthy story (as told by him) of the matter in the Yes Magazine. Every major mistake that happens in our lives is an awakening call. We must respond to it. The mistake only becomes bigger and complicated when all we do about it is react!

The uncalled for TV appearance of Hayden’s mother is nothing but a reaction (and a blasphemous one at that). It won’t help in any way. It will only worsen the already worst situation. More than anybody in this world, it is the parent/s who must model for their children. Every child in every home grows up watching his/her parents first before his/her exposure to the outside world. The following I took from Leo J. Trese’s book, MANY ARE ONE: “a little child does not learn to deal with life by any process of reasoning, or by theorizing, or consulting a book of directions. The child learns by watching others, especially by watching his (her) parents. They are his (her) pattern. For good or for ill, he (she) will grow up in their image.”

Far from judging Hayden’s mother, I would like to say that there may also be parents who thought that they have offered their children the best that they could muster to the best of their abilities, but found out that the societal pressure (the friends and the environment as a whole) was too much for them to control, finding a perfect “stranger” in their own child in the end.

Life is a mystery. Each must take responsibility of his/her very own self. Outside of our own self, prayer is the best that we can offer. Every participant in every misdeed, lapse of judgment, controversy, or scandal must accept his/her own precipitating participation and CHANGE, by beginning to respect him/her self.

As for us, the spectators, let us acknowledge our sinfulness instead of condemning, and vow to learn from the mistake/s of others. Thank God that we are not in the unfortunate situation.

My prayers for all of us! God bless everyone.