LIFE BALANCE

Thoughts and reflection – 10/24/07, while on board a tricycle at around 12.30 pm, going home for lunch break from the office:

“Life is meant for balance. Without balance we cannot find our purpose. The purpose of life enables us to live with meaning. For us, Catholics, we find that particular purpose in our deep relationship with our Almighty Father through His Son Jesus Christ (and Jesus’ Mother Mary for whom we must pay tribute to for giving in fully, in complete obedience, to our Almighty Father’s Will), through the Holy Rosary and Eucharistic Celebration or Holy Mass.

When we look really closely and reflect, we see the balance in the life of Jesus Christ. In associating our life with Jesus we realize that life does not only consist of pains and sufferings (Sorrowful Mystery) but happiness (Joyful Mystery) as well. When we have accepted and let God enter our heart (Light Mystery) He shows us the way – which is repentance and forgiveness – we then see Hope in Him and receive graces through His loving mercy (Glorious Mystery) and we feel alive again, as if resurrected from the dead.

Pope John Paul II, to whom God entrusted the introduction and incorporation of the Light Mystery in our Holy Rosary, always called for balance (I saw the video re-runs of His Holiness at the EWTN Channel). Reflecting on Light Mystery I was astounded to find out that: it is only through our Baptism (of Fire) that we finally see our Miracles. When we see and thus, appreciate these miracles we are inspired to Proclaim God’s Kingdom (via testimonies as we experienced God’s presence in our life) caused by our joyfulness and indescribable feeling of the divine discovery.

The proclamation that we do will effect in us subtle or even abrupt inward transformation (Transfiguration), through our consistent efforts and consistent prayers because we cannot do everything in our power. To be able to sustain this inward feeling of transformation, which we must guard against all odds because it is our only hope for salvation, we continuously guard our self by participating (not only attending) Jesus Christ’s Instituted Holy Eucharist or Holy Mass – our highest form of prayer. Amen.”

Scanning my old files to de-clutter my drawers, I stumbled unto this one I reflected above. As I go into outpouring my sentiment for this issue, I sincerely pray that I may not hurt anybody as I do not have the intention to. But should in case I will, as it is in every human nature to get hurt because of guilt due to unhealed wound/s, I humbly ask for forgiveness for my unintended “misgiving”.

On that GODly Wednesday, I attended a funeral mass for the burial of Atty. & Mrs. Noel S. Sermense’s youngest son (the handsomest angel of God, in life form – and even in death – I ever laid my eyes on!). I was seated beside my “Ate” (the term I fondly use to call my dearest girl-friends, who are chronologically older than I am, out of love and respect for them). After the rite, we got to ask each other of our private lives for purposes maybe of lightening the heavy feeling associated with the event.
She told me she is fine naman and is still in a relationship with her boyfriend even if she is not experiencing the feelings for him anymore. She enthused further that it is only because her mother is preventing her to break off with the boyfriend that is probably keeping the relationship intact. I find that to be a perfect pity, pathetic.

I don’t know how it is with you, friends, but for me, BALANCE IS THE ONLY WAY TO FIND HEAVEN ON EARTH. You see, what transpired between my Ate and I made me travel back to the time when the totality of my being was in search for that magic most people translate as “feelings”…and now I realized that that time was plain crazy!
The association of love to feelings alone is not definitely IT, my friends. Read these scientific findings closely and I hope you get to think/reflect seriously and deeply after reading.

“Ms. Helen Fisher, a U.S. Anthropologist and the author of the book WHY WE LOVE, exposed her findings that there are neuro-chemical triggers or stimulants which cause us the urge to mate. She offered the following information:

LUST – the desire for sexual gratification is caused by the stimulants TESTOSTERONE;

ROMANTIC LOVE – the state of feeling high is caused by the stimulants called
DOPAMINE and SEROTONIN; and

ATTACHMENT – the feeling of calmness and contentment from a relationship comes
from the stimulants OXYTOCIN and VASOPRESSIN.

If you still remember my presentation regarding the three (3) natures of man (animal, human, and divine) and connect these facts to the findings of Ms. Fisher, you are going to find out perfectly well that the most important of all is situated, described and considered the least because it is the last. But, alas, hasn’t it been said that: the lasts are always the firsts!?

The thing, my dearest friends, is, nobody can ever attain balance effectively if he/she is not firmly grounded on a solidly secured foundation. Why is that? It is because we have been grossly damaged by our insecurity problem (due to mistrust) that is the main wound in our growing up years. This insecurity will keep adding up (or multiply) as we move on with our lives unless we do something about it. This insecurity likewise caused us our confusion, isolation, desperation and desolation. It is primarily because of these that the majority of us, unfortunately, chose to get stuck and stagnate, either consciously or unconsciously. To understand further, may I refer you back again to Erik H. Erikson’s theory on Life Stages (please find it in our previous issues).

Romantic love is the feeling that destroys most of us because it is what we consistently long and wish for. The problem is, romantic feelings eventually end (like lust or sexual gratification which actually is but a “three seconds orgasm”) because it is only human nature. What normally happens after it fades away is, the person is faced to choose between these two (2) choices: “look for the same magical feeling again to make him/her high” or “stay in whatever rotten situation he/she is already in”. Romantic love is the cause of man’s folly since time immemorial.

ONLY GOD IS FAITHFUL. “…and surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). Without finding God in us first, which is our divine nature, and establish a good relationship with Him (the purest form of Attachment), we will never find the feeling of calmness and contentment that our every heart desires. Only a person who has found God in himself/herself is truly capable of honest faithfulness. That is the reason why authorities of the Church keep claiming that unfaithfulness happens even in the mind. To remain in our human nature is to be forever-changing. It is very difficult staying there. To decide to stay there we are given only (again) two (2) choices: fleeting happiness or difficulties. Papalit-palit lang ang dalawang ‘yan, depende sa sitwasyong kinakaharap mo at takbo ng utak at laman mo. Both roads lead to hell on Earth. Kaya sa tuwing nagakakamali tayo palagi na lang ang alibi natin ay: tao lang po ako.

When we decide to put God first in our life and do all the necessary effort and fervent prayers to be attached to Him no matter, we are little by little transformed and empowered to live our life for us, not for anybody. This is God’s main purpose for giving us our life because He only wants us to be happy so we can glorify Him. In glorifying God, by living a happy, decent and contented life, we effectively evangelize – or tell the people (simply by showing them without intent) who and what God is in human form. At saka lang natin masasabing: tao po ako!

Jesus came here to show us exactly that. It was not only for Him to save us, although it was definitely His greatest Mission. If we have chosen and called ourselves Christians will it not follow then that our divine mission is that of Jesus Christ also? To rightfully relive what He has shown us?

Yes, we will, of course, be human for as long as we live. This we must accept also. Kasi there is a nag-iisang Jesus Christ lang na inatasan ng ating Father God to save the world. That is why only He is sinless. (Tayo, palagi na lang skinless – wala’ng pinagkaiba sa ahas na palagi na lang nagpapalit ng balat. huhuhu) Unlike Him, all of us are bound to commit mistakes. We will always fall short. But our acceptance of this fact is very imperative – a necessary step for our self-awareness. When we are aware of fully ourselves, including our weaknesses (which unmake us), we will live our life only according to the best interest along God’s plans for us, because that is where our best interest also lies. This is what others call, “proper alignment of our personality and soul”.

When we decide to find the wrong attachment that the world offers us, we will ultimately settle into inexplicable loneliness and deep pain or depression because whatever this world offers is, yes, “temporary”. Jim Carrey expressed in an interview at the Oprah Winfrey Show: “I wish everybody becomes rich and famous, so that they will know that it is not the answer.”

Our self-denial makes us blasphemous, and thus, hypocrite people in both languages, verbal and non-verbal. Without being judgmental, much less condemning, I just would like to stress that, for as long as we do not have Jesus in our individual lives we will never ever know the sacredness of our traditions. Our human nature will continue to dictate and overtake us. We will continue to make impressions only. We will consider the world a stage where everything we do is for a show.

I see so much promise in my Ate though. So much hope when she told me that for a while already she has been with a religious group to seek God further through their help. Most importantly, she said she has not allowed her boyfriend to mess up with her own decisions, especially concerning her very own dear life. This is good enough.

See you when I see you again, friends…God bless everyone.