Physics is one of the most difficult subjects I encountered in the entirety of my school life. I hated it so much I barely passed the course every time. Mabuti na lang ‘di ako grade-conscious. Two (2) years ago I encountered the word again in one of the most loved books I read. Both curiosity and interest led me to look seriously for its meaning or I will not completely get the gist of what I was reading at that time.
The death of our most beloved Pres. Maria Corazon C. Aquino (who really lived up to the meaning of her name, possessing the “heart of Mother Mary”), which brought back the nostalgic feeling – to the time of the historic (and hysteric) event following Sen. Benigno Aquino’s death (very treacherous murder, is more like it) – for every Filipino, left people wondering in awe and astonishment because of the influx of sincere mourners.
In the kind of difficult times that we are in right now, we desperately and urgently need leaders who are of great moral ascendancy, for it is one basic natural human tendency to look up to the leaders of the land as role models. To reiterate: “everybody needs someone or something (Faith) to measure his/her life against.” To just keep criticizing our leaders will lead us nowhere because in the mediocrity of life the game is always about power. Every misunderstanding is a power play. Petty man ‘yan o grabe.
One of the most important information I gathered in my previous readings from the writings of different life coaches is to think about the time of our own death. To see and picture in our mind what it is we want when we die. What the people will say about us during our death, in our wake, in our burial, and after we are long gone. It is of great importance that we do so because we are going to hear all the comments, the curse and the blessings, from all of the people we have come across with and affected/inflicted/effected in the course of our lifetime anyways.
Psychosomatic unity is one of those words that intrigued me in the furtherance of my soul-study. It talks about the truth that we cannot evade: that we are made up of both physical body and soul. But between our two (2) major components it must be the soul that we must take care of very, very importantly because it is what does not die. It is what is eventually going to suffer or be rewarded in our judgment day, when we are to meet our Ultimate Judge eventually. We must remember that in the end we all have the same destiny – face God.
The throng of people, not to mention those who felt strongly for the death of Cory and cried silently in their homes or wherever, is the result of what the authorities call “quantum physics”. Both the quantity and quality of what we give is given us back in return. And more – for Jesus promised us: “I will give you all these and more”. “What you sow, you reap.” It is considered by others as part of the law of karma, for, if in objects “the same poles repel” applies, in people “like attracts like” works.
Discontent led me to go in depth, in my attempt to dissect the anatomy of human friendships/relationships. I thought of the broken ones. And then I finally realized that maybe what glued them in their so-called friendships then, was not Love after all.
“Only God is faithful.” The common denominator for every friendship/relationship must be God, for He is Love. Apart from Him, any friendship/relationship is either superficial or clinging (remember the pathology of love yet?), thus unhealthy. And anything unhealthy is unsatisfying, confusing, tiring, demanding or depleting, and sickening. Happiness is never, and never will be, sustained.
“The same poles repel.” If you and I are united not by Love, but by some personal motive – power, fame, or fortune (PFF) factor – our ending is to one day be separated. Only love cements a relationship and produces a BFF (best friends forever) factor.
In the PFF factor, people of the same kind are joined together first. In the course of time, however, one will override the other because it is difficult to maintain loyalty or faithfulness. They become so focused on their personal motives or gains thus, without their knowing it they become mere objects. So they keep using one another. Their motto becomes: “you scratch my back; I’ll scratch yours.” They are no longer humans. Only humans are created in the image and likeness of God. And it is in our physical state alone where we can change our destiny. For when we die our time for change is ended.
Life is meant for friendships and service. Apart from these there is no guaranteed sense of fulfillment or satisfaction. Palagi na lang may hahanapin ang puso mo because your heart is the heart of your soul and vice versa. At hinding-hindi mo matatakasan ang katotohanang ‘yan. Fr. Rod sent me this food for thought one time: “you can close your eyes to the things that you do not like to see; but you cannot close your heart to the things that you do not like to feel.” Cory’s assurance to the grieving heart of her personal physician was: “don’t worry. I have lived a full life…”
As I say goodbye for this issue I would like to pose the same question for you, beloved friends, as you think and contemplate: “are you living (and enjoying!) a full life na ba?”
Don’t worry though, nothing is late in Love. God is ever very forgiving. That is the reason why nobody has the right to condemn anybody because we do not know for certain what goes on inside the heart of every individual, and also because we do not know God’s plans for each one of us. God works on each of us differently, so we have to accept and adjust, as brothers and sisters, in our trust in God and as we wait for the completion of His plans.
My love to every one! God bless us always. See you sometime again, dearest friends.
Friday, August 28, 2009
MYSTICS
My third son (who is my original soul-mate) surprised me with a vacation trip to and from his place allegedly for a breather. It was a very fruitful vacation as we went bookstore-hopping and I got to read quality books to the desires of my heart. I love his pad, too – modest but very comforting. Thank you, baby boy pogi!
When this same son of mine discovered in the internet what names stand for, I requested for this new name (Eunice Ji) to be inquired about. My heart was full of gladness in reading the description that came along with the name. One of those that brought me joy was that it meant a “mystic” daw. For quite a time now my sister-in-law – and BFF – has been suggesting I disclose here the reason for coming up with this particular pen name. I did not so much pay attention to complying with her suggestion because I saw no need for it.
But maybe it’s about time I tell you where exactly the pen name came from because I had to have a jump off point to this issue’s topic. My pen name came shortly after my transformation, I personally call my “rebirth”. Eunice is a modification of the biblical word “eunuch” (now you finally understand why I am pushing for you to attain androgyny – brain balance); while Ji stands for Jesus and i.
MYSTIC – I have to particularly pick this topic for this issue because my personal observation is that, whenever people sense they have something they feel inside, which they translate as special something that sets them apart from the rest, they call themselves “mystics”, and worse, they cash in on their gift of being a supposed mystic. It seems to me like people’s motive is always about money.
Last year when my youngest son and I were unable to attend a particular Sunday Mass, he opened our TV set to at least hear one. He was able to tune up to a sermon of a charismatic leader whose topic was focused on financial gains. After hearing a few words from him so I can balance both sides of my brain in order to give him justice, we usually refer to as benefit of the doubt, I instructed my son to switch channel.
A few weeks after that, when my third son called, we talked about our disheartening observation where every little bit is done for money. Damo la nga pasangil an ginhihimo just to entice people and have money. It is even more annoying and disgusting when people use their claimed leverage, spiritual or mysticism, to gain money. Nagpapakasayon san pagkamal sin salapi. These unscrupulous people should be ashamed of Major Marcelino of PDEA (PDEA VS. DOJ – Alabang Boys’ case) when he said to have always reminded his family members na “matuto’ng mamuhay ng patas palagi.”
Yes, there is so much to be proud and happy about being a mystic. But it is and will never be a reason for making money. Money and God do not combine. We can only embrace one and subordinate the other, as we are both good and evil. If someone considers him/herself a mystic, then it is all the more reason for him/her not to make/collect money out of his/her being one. To be a mystic is to forever be thankful to God for His given grace, for “many are called but few are chosen.”
Fr. Dubay said in EWTN, a mystic is somebody who is head over heels in love with God. Sugad la siton kasimple an karuyag sidngon san termino nga mystic! Pero, OO gad lugod, makuri iton abuton. Labi na gud para sadto nga mga tawo nga maiha na nga waray madisiplina an ira kalugaringon. Formed habits are indeed very, very difficult to break. And we need to be broken, and sometimes crushed, in order to be whole again.
Our bad habits disoriented us, thereby keeping us away from the Truth, so we became prodigal children of God. It takes so much effort, energy, and unceasing prayers. It takes so much will. Kon hubog ka na uraura san imo kalibutanon nga kinabuhi, makukurian ka uraura pagbag-o. Pero if you are willing to hurdle the rough course to freedom for your own sake (and the people you profess you allegedly love), you will definitely change.
To take up our cross is to be willing to sacrifice. There is death in sacrifice but the death is temporary. It will take so much courage if we are to sacrifice. And if we consider ourselves people of God, then we are a people of courage. Jesus reminded us to “take up our cross and follow Him because nobody goes to the Father without Him; and that He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” This is the reason why the effecting change or transformation is very, very rewarding. I can assure you that.
Be so in love with God. He is the best. Nothing comes close. But when you are finally changed by His grace, don’t change na. I mean, never backslide to where you came from. Stay the course. Keep the Faith. Only He knows what is best for you. Don’t capitalize on what He gave you and made of you. Ug labi na gud nga ayaw intawon iton, nga grasya nga ginhatag sa imo san Ginoo, paghimua nga kapital o puhunan para ka magka-kwarta. The more that you attain Wisdom, the more that you have to be humble. Be like the bamboo. The more that it grows taller, the more that it bends (Confucius?). Humility is everything.
Love you, friends! God bless all of us. Let’s keep praying for one another. In God there is always Hope.
When this same son of mine discovered in the internet what names stand for, I requested for this new name (Eunice Ji) to be inquired about. My heart was full of gladness in reading the description that came along with the name. One of those that brought me joy was that it meant a “mystic” daw. For quite a time now my sister-in-law – and BFF – has been suggesting I disclose here the reason for coming up with this particular pen name. I did not so much pay attention to complying with her suggestion because I saw no need for it.
But maybe it’s about time I tell you where exactly the pen name came from because I had to have a jump off point to this issue’s topic. My pen name came shortly after my transformation, I personally call my “rebirth”. Eunice is a modification of the biblical word “eunuch” (now you finally understand why I am pushing for you to attain androgyny – brain balance); while Ji stands for Jesus and i.
MYSTIC – I have to particularly pick this topic for this issue because my personal observation is that, whenever people sense they have something they feel inside, which they translate as special something that sets them apart from the rest, they call themselves “mystics”, and worse, they cash in on their gift of being a supposed mystic. It seems to me like people’s motive is always about money.
Last year when my youngest son and I were unable to attend a particular Sunday Mass, he opened our TV set to at least hear one. He was able to tune up to a sermon of a charismatic leader whose topic was focused on financial gains. After hearing a few words from him so I can balance both sides of my brain in order to give him justice, we usually refer to as benefit of the doubt, I instructed my son to switch channel.
A few weeks after that, when my third son called, we talked about our disheartening observation where every little bit is done for money. Damo la nga pasangil an ginhihimo just to entice people and have money. It is even more annoying and disgusting when people use their claimed leverage, spiritual or mysticism, to gain money. Nagpapakasayon san pagkamal sin salapi. These unscrupulous people should be ashamed of Major Marcelino of PDEA (PDEA VS. DOJ – Alabang Boys’ case) when he said to have always reminded his family members na “matuto’ng mamuhay ng patas palagi.”
Yes, there is so much to be proud and happy about being a mystic. But it is and will never be a reason for making money. Money and God do not combine. We can only embrace one and subordinate the other, as we are both good and evil. If someone considers him/herself a mystic, then it is all the more reason for him/her not to make/collect money out of his/her being one. To be a mystic is to forever be thankful to God for His given grace, for “many are called but few are chosen.”
Fr. Dubay said in EWTN, a mystic is somebody who is head over heels in love with God. Sugad la siton kasimple an karuyag sidngon san termino nga mystic! Pero, OO gad lugod, makuri iton abuton. Labi na gud para sadto nga mga tawo nga maiha na nga waray madisiplina an ira kalugaringon. Formed habits are indeed very, very difficult to break. And we need to be broken, and sometimes crushed, in order to be whole again.
Our bad habits disoriented us, thereby keeping us away from the Truth, so we became prodigal children of God. It takes so much effort, energy, and unceasing prayers. It takes so much will. Kon hubog ka na uraura san imo kalibutanon nga kinabuhi, makukurian ka uraura pagbag-o. Pero if you are willing to hurdle the rough course to freedom for your own sake (and the people you profess you allegedly love), you will definitely change.
To take up our cross is to be willing to sacrifice. There is death in sacrifice but the death is temporary. It will take so much courage if we are to sacrifice. And if we consider ourselves people of God, then we are a people of courage. Jesus reminded us to “take up our cross and follow Him because nobody goes to the Father without Him; and that He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” This is the reason why the effecting change or transformation is very, very rewarding. I can assure you that.
Be so in love with God. He is the best. Nothing comes close. But when you are finally changed by His grace, don’t change na. I mean, never backslide to where you came from. Stay the course. Keep the Faith. Only He knows what is best for you. Don’t capitalize on what He gave you and made of you. Ug labi na gud nga ayaw intawon iton, nga grasya nga ginhatag sa imo san Ginoo, paghimua nga kapital o puhunan para ka magka-kwarta. The more that you attain Wisdom, the more that you have to be humble. Be like the bamboo. The more that it grows taller, the more that it bends (Confucius?). Humility is everything.
Love you, friends! God bless all of us. Let’s keep praying for one another. In God there is always Hope.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
STAR WARS
For over two (2) months now I have not yet finished the book I am reading. But I am still doing my best to be able to finish it because this is the only book right now I find quite interesting to read. My listing of the books to buy is long already but financial constraints do not permit me to buy even one of them yet. So I have to contend myself with what I have at the moment.
The first part of this book tells of the author’s analysis about the main causes of the wars of the world namely: political war and the war between religions. The political war was easy for me to understand, and thus, consider. What I am finding a hard time to be convinced about is the war that he postulated is caused by differing religions.
This brought me back to the time when my elder brother, who resides in Mindanao, and his wife visited me about two (2) years ago. When he learned that my youngest son was enrolled in a seminary (he still is, by God’s grace) he (my brother) talked to me in secret urging me to discourage my son to be there. His reason: Rome is, allegedly, on fire. I smiled in telling him that I am not about to tell my son what and what not to do. His life is his, not mine; that I am here to provide guidance and support only. His life decisions and choices are for him alone to make.
As I went further down reading this book, I sensed something wrong. I cannot, in my life, believe in anybody or anything that discredits and discriminates either his/her brethren or his/her chosen religion. It is my belief that an individual’s search for religion is dictated by his/her search for belongingness. Whether the search is caused by the wounded-ness of his/her soul or personality, nobody (or only he/she) knows. Although I believe more that it comes from the need of the soul. And the more that our personality is wounded, the more that our soul cries in hunger for an authentic power – the only source of healing. This is the reason why some people go religion-hopping, hoping to find rest somewhere.
My fourth son had asked for my permission twice to attend Christian services: both non-Catholics. On those two (2) occasions he’d tell me disturbing observations about malicious commentaries (as soon as he came back home from the service), after the gospel reading by the pastors, regarding our religion. From these accounts, I am tempted to think that maybe the author of this book is indeed right in his assessment (I just wish he presented his theory and argumentation on a fair and balanced basis) regarding wars between religions.
I don’t know if my observation is correct, but I think that in our effort to recruit or hold tight our people inside our religion, for whatever motive/s, we thwart whatever blocks our way, going to the extent of destruction. When this approach is observed to work in our favor, we continue to do so until this becomes a habit, transferring the habit to our flock; until unknowingly our loyalty is to our religion already, not anymore to God. The working of the devil is as subtle as that.
I wrote this neither to convince nor defend my religion. I wrote this simply because I see no point in warring over a belief that holds no water. The political wars are more than enough for us to handle already, and yet here we are adding more meaningless wars for meaningless purpose. Ano’ng kabobohan at katangahan ba ang mga pinaggagagawa natin sa buhay nating ito? Diyos ko, pagpalain N’yo po sana kaming mga anak Ninyo!
It seems to me that every religion would like to be the biggest and most shining star, towering over the others. The drive, guys, looms out of the urge for competition which, as we have discussed previously, stems out of man’s/woman’s insecurity. Every religion’s dynamic works practically the same way because it is composed of the same insecure people (pasayloa ak…!).
With insecurity as our main force we will remain starlets who think we are already stars. The truth is, we are no better than the others. We are all one and the same. The few ones who will stand out as the real stars are those who have got a real God in them through Jesus. And who determines these few stars, guys? Definitely, it is not you or me.
Love is not exclusive (M. Scott Peck). Unless our premise becomes GOD IS LOVE, we will never realize that LOVE IS BEYOND RELIGION. It is my fervent prayer that every religion builds better souls than buildings.
God bless us. My prayers for you, dearest friends!
The first part of this book tells of the author’s analysis about the main causes of the wars of the world namely: political war and the war between religions. The political war was easy for me to understand, and thus, consider. What I am finding a hard time to be convinced about is the war that he postulated is caused by differing religions.
This brought me back to the time when my elder brother, who resides in Mindanao, and his wife visited me about two (2) years ago. When he learned that my youngest son was enrolled in a seminary (he still is, by God’s grace) he (my brother) talked to me in secret urging me to discourage my son to be there. His reason: Rome is, allegedly, on fire. I smiled in telling him that I am not about to tell my son what and what not to do. His life is his, not mine; that I am here to provide guidance and support only. His life decisions and choices are for him alone to make.
As I went further down reading this book, I sensed something wrong. I cannot, in my life, believe in anybody or anything that discredits and discriminates either his/her brethren or his/her chosen religion. It is my belief that an individual’s search for religion is dictated by his/her search for belongingness. Whether the search is caused by the wounded-ness of his/her soul or personality, nobody (or only he/she) knows. Although I believe more that it comes from the need of the soul. And the more that our personality is wounded, the more that our soul cries in hunger for an authentic power – the only source of healing. This is the reason why some people go religion-hopping, hoping to find rest somewhere.
My fourth son had asked for my permission twice to attend Christian services: both non-Catholics. On those two (2) occasions he’d tell me disturbing observations about malicious commentaries (as soon as he came back home from the service), after the gospel reading by the pastors, regarding our religion. From these accounts, I am tempted to think that maybe the author of this book is indeed right in his assessment (I just wish he presented his theory and argumentation on a fair and balanced basis) regarding wars between religions.
I don’t know if my observation is correct, but I think that in our effort to recruit or hold tight our people inside our religion, for whatever motive/s, we thwart whatever blocks our way, going to the extent of destruction. When this approach is observed to work in our favor, we continue to do so until this becomes a habit, transferring the habit to our flock; until unknowingly our loyalty is to our religion already, not anymore to God. The working of the devil is as subtle as that.
I wrote this neither to convince nor defend my religion. I wrote this simply because I see no point in warring over a belief that holds no water. The political wars are more than enough for us to handle already, and yet here we are adding more meaningless wars for meaningless purpose. Ano’ng kabobohan at katangahan ba ang mga pinaggagagawa natin sa buhay nating ito? Diyos ko, pagpalain N’yo po sana kaming mga anak Ninyo!
It seems to me that every religion would like to be the biggest and most shining star, towering over the others. The drive, guys, looms out of the urge for competition which, as we have discussed previously, stems out of man’s/woman’s insecurity. Every religion’s dynamic works practically the same way because it is composed of the same insecure people (pasayloa ak…!).
With insecurity as our main force we will remain starlets who think we are already stars. The truth is, we are no better than the others. We are all one and the same. The few ones who will stand out as the real stars are those who have got a real God in them through Jesus. And who determines these few stars, guys? Definitely, it is not you or me.
Love is not exclusive (M. Scott Peck). Unless our premise becomes GOD IS LOVE, we will never realize that LOVE IS BEYOND RELIGION. It is my fervent prayer that every religion builds better souls than buildings.
God bless us. My prayers for you, dearest friends!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
RECOGNITION HUNGER
As ever, kung kelan daw patay na ang tao ‘tsaka lang natin ina-appreciate ang mabubuti at kaayaayang mga alaalang naiwan n’ya. My eldest son was playing Michael Jackson’s HEAL THE WORLD song early this morning. In an instant I thought of writing about him since I was born the same year he was and I loved many of his songs, which I believe he wrote with the sincerest feelings every time.
Later in the evening, my son again found his songs in MYX Channel. They provided a bit of introduction, as backgrounder, before each song was played. It was from there that I was able to piece together what could have affected his person and personality. But one thing is for sure, judging from his beautiful songs of prayer such as Childhood, Will You Be There, and Heal the World (to name but a few), and his overprotection of his little children from the maddening crowd of fans and detractors alike, that he has a good soul.
If my memory serves me right, I came to read that they were abused children from the confession of Janet Jackson many years ago. The abuser: their very own father.
We will never know what triggered their father to abuse them, unless he confesses also. What I’m certain about is the fact that every one of us who still carries the wounds of the past will always be hungry for recognition. It is because of this recognition hunger that we are driven to amass wealth and be famous – through whatever means – because our mind is conditioned that it is only the moneyed and/or the famous that are powerful. We are all in search of power. But we almost always resort to synthetic powers that are offered by the materialism and lies that this world offers.
Our abusers made us powerless. This powerlessness drove us nuts. And instead of turning to the Most Powerful for help (because Only Him holds the authentic power), through His healing grace, we chose to instill our own. Eh, mixed nga tayo: we are all animal, human, and divine. This fact explains for the compositions of MJ. Sometimes his powerlessness as human was probably too strong for him to resist he wrote songs out of his human desire for power. And maybe in times of his surrender he wrote songs of prayer for God to help him. He got so mixed up!
His decision to dissociate from his father, manifested by his choice to change his physical appearance – skin color and nose lifts – and his excluding him (his father) in his last will and testament, proved his un-forgiveness.
We must remember that each of us had to be born in this world through our parents. And that no matter what happened in the past, each of those events happened for a purpose. Our in-acceptance will only harden our heart. It will confuse us and lead us to difficulties. That is why we experience hell even while we are still here.
What God wants of us is Obedience. Acceptance is our means to obey Him. The kind of family we came from was His choice for us for a purpose. Basically it is for the purpose of letting us learn to love through forgiveness. Everything starts in the home, so it is always said. The decision to disobey is our translation of rebellion. It is an evil choice.
Eventually this evil choice will manifest outside, called aura. For what is inside our heart will reveal in itself. Kaya may mga magaganda at gwapo na sa tingin natin may mali somewhere. At meron din namang hindi naman kagandahan o kagwapuhan pero people are drawn to him/her na walang halong malisya. Kaya siguro malisya dahil “mali s’ya”, ‘no? Biro lang…
If there are unpleasant things that need to change, then the change must begin in our very own self, usually through forgiveness and unceasing prayer. We were created by God and in God we must always depend. In Him we have to remain forever children who will always forever be dependent on Him. The two (2) tablets containing God’s ten (10) Commandments has the first one tablet (which bore the three first Commandments) for Him and the second tablet carried the very first one (out of the six) to honor thy father and thy mother (“especially your parents!” says one of our local jokes. We have to lighten the burden of life in order for it not to be dull and boring. Laughter remains the best medicine).
Our human interventions will one day prove us the truth that we can only do so much. Our body is not ours. It is God’s. To medically alter it for our own human purpose will only serve us awhile. There are limits to everything. One day, babagsak tayo – literal man o hindi. Ke MJ naunang bumagsak ang ilong n’ya kasi walang matibay na buto d’yan,e. Dapat kasi inaral muna nya sya, nang malalimang pag-aaral, ha?
I don’t know how the following is going to effect in you, but I am including it here to help you see yourself because I believe that the only person who can effectively instill love, through discipline, in you is your self. The following I received as food for thought from a very dearest brother, Rev. Fr. Rod San Jose, OFM (he is one of my earth-fathers):
Bravery is saying NO to what you believe is NO;
Sacrifice is saying NO to what you think is YES;
Confidence is saying YES to what you think is YES;
Trusting is saying YES to what you think is NO. (tnx,ROD!)
Oh, by the way, MJ po stands for MY JESUS, who the Almighty Father sent us to pattern our lives to. Unless we try very, very hard, no matter the difficulty, to let the God in our head comes down and settle in our heart, and be like Jesus (but accepting the fact that we cannot be as perfect as He is) our destination will be nowhere. (That is precisely why Michael Jackson named his humungous property “Neverland”, because he will arrive and settle at nothing in the end.)
Let us all pray and exert effort to find rest in God or we will all end up in hell – whether we are alive yet or dead already – literally speaking. We cannot help heal the world if we are ourselves unhealed yet.
Kaya tuloy here in our place (following un-fateful incidents in a hospital that were caused by the “difficult people in power”) we changed na the lyrics of MJ’s hit (Heal the World) as the hospital’s theme song, it became: “kill the world/make it a bitter place/for you and for me and the entire human race/there are people dying/we don’t care enough for the living/make a bitter place for you and for me.” While in the other hospital, the old one, their theme song remains Mona Lisa still (they just lie there/and they die there). A pity, isn’t it? Aren’t hospitals made for healing? I didn’t know it changed already. Kelan pa?
God, grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change;
Change the things that I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference. Amen.
LOVE YOU, EVERYONE…! God bless, siempre pa. See you sometime again.
Later in the evening, my son again found his songs in MYX Channel. They provided a bit of introduction, as backgrounder, before each song was played. It was from there that I was able to piece together what could have affected his person and personality. But one thing is for sure, judging from his beautiful songs of prayer such as Childhood, Will You Be There, and Heal the World (to name but a few), and his overprotection of his little children from the maddening crowd of fans and detractors alike, that he has a good soul.
If my memory serves me right, I came to read that they were abused children from the confession of Janet Jackson many years ago. The abuser: their very own father.
We will never know what triggered their father to abuse them, unless he confesses also. What I’m certain about is the fact that every one of us who still carries the wounds of the past will always be hungry for recognition. It is because of this recognition hunger that we are driven to amass wealth and be famous – through whatever means – because our mind is conditioned that it is only the moneyed and/or the famous that are powerful. We are all in search of power. But we almost always resort to synthetic powers that are offered by the materialism and lies that this world offers.
Our abusers made us powerless. This powerlessness drove us nuts. And instead of turning to the Most Powerful for help (because Only Him holds the authentic power), through His healing grace, we chose to instill our own. Eh, mixed nga tayo: we are all animal, human, and divine. This fact explains for the compositions of MJ. Sometimes his powerlessness as human was probably too strong for him to resist he wrote songs out of his human desire for power. And maybe in times of his surrender he wrote songs of prayer for God to help him. He got so mixed up!
His decision to dissociate from his father, manifested by his choice to change his physical appearance – skin color and nose lifts – and his excluding him (his father) in his last will and testament, proved his un-forgiveness.
We must remember that each of us had to be born in this world through our parents. And that no matter what happened in the past, each of those events happened for a purpose. Our in-acceptance will only harden our heart. It will confuse us and lead us to difficulties. That is why we experience hell even while we are still here.
What God wants of us is Obedience. Acceptance is our means to obey Him. The kind of family we came from was His choice for us for a purpose. Basically it is for the purpose of letting us learn to love through forgiveness. Everything starts in the home, so it is always said. The decision to disobey is our translation of rebellion. It is an evil choice.
Eventually this evil choice will manifest outside, called aura. For what is inside our heart will reveal in itself. Kaya may mga magaganda at gwapo na sa tingin natin may mali somewhere. At meron din namang hindi naman kagandahan o kagwapuhan pero people are drawn to him/her na walang halong malisya. Kaya siguro malisya dahil “mali s’ya”, ‘no? Biro lang…
If there are unpleasant things that need to change, then the change must begin in our very own self, usually through forgiveness and unceasing prayer. We were created by God and in God we must always depend. In Him we have to remain forever children who will always forever be dependent on Him. The two (2) tablets containing God’s ten (10) Commandments has the first one tablet (which bore the three first Commandments) for Him and the second tablet carried the very first one (out of the six) to honor thy father and thy mother (“especially your parents!” says one of our local jokes. We have to lighten the burden of life in order for it not to be dull and boring. Laughter remains the best medicine).
Our human interventions will one day prove us the truth that we can only do so much. Our body is not ours. It is God’s. To medically alter it for our own human purpose will only serve us awhile. There are limits to everything. One day, babagsak tayo – literal man o hindi. Ke MJ naunang bumagsak ang ilong n’ya kasi walang matibay na buto d’yan,e. Dapat kasi inaral muna nya sya, nang malalimang pag-aaral, ha?
I don’t know how the following is going to effect in you, but I am including it here to help you see yourself because I believe that the only person who can effectively instill love, through discipline, in you is your self. The following I received as food for thought from a very dearest brother, Rev. Fr. Rod San Jose, OFM (he is one of my earth-fathers):
Bravery is saying NO to what you believe is NO;
Sacrifice is saying NO to what you think is YES;
Confidence is saying YES to what you think is YES;
Trusting is saying YES to what you think is NO. (tnx,ROD!)
Oh, by the way, MJ po stands for MY JESUS, who the Almighty Father sent us to pattern our lives to. Unless we try very, very hard, no matter the difficulty, to let the God in our head comes down and settle in our heart, and be like Jesus (but accepting the fact that we cannot be as perfect as He is) our destination will be nowhere. (That is precisely why Michael Jackson named his humungous property “Neverland”, because he will arrive and settle at nothing in the end.)
Let us all pray and exert effort to find rest in God or we will all end up in hell – whether we are alive yet or dead already – literally speaking. We cannot help heal the world if we are ourselves unhealed yet.
Kaya tuloy here in our place (following un-fateful incidents in a hospital that were caused by the “difficult people in power”) we changed na the lyrics of MJ’s hit (Heal the World) as the hospital’s theme song, it became: “kill the world/make it a bitter place/for you and for me and the entire human race/there are people dying/we don’t care enough for the living/make a bitter place for you and for me.” While in the other hospital, the old one, their theme song remains Mona Lisa still (they just lie there/and they die there). A pity, isn’t it? Aren’t hospitals made for healing? I didn’t know it changed already. Kelan pa?
God, grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change;
Change the things that I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference. Amen.
LOVE YOU, EVERYONE…! God bless, siempre pa. See you sometime again.
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WELL
One of my most loved songs when I was just learning to play the guitar, myself, is that song entitled: Teach Your Children Well. But I forgot its lyrics already. Country songs are always a come on to me, for no particular reason at all.
I hope you still remember the issue where we discussed a bit regarding amorality because what I am going to share with you in this issue has something to do about it again.
At about a little past five (5) in the afternoon, as I was going down the stairs of my workplace, my attention was called by my lady-friend whom I had formed a sisterly bonding with for about three (3) years already. I was caught off-guard at her kind of approach because it was brutally frank. She was, in fact, sort of blaming me I was not able to prevent the “immoral” act of one of my noted student-counselee (his habit of taking things from others, stealing – in other words, has gone berserk it probably has become a kleptomania by now), he victimized her cousin-priest.
After hearing from her the details of the alleged incident, I told her calmly: “First of all, he did not tell me anything about this stealing habit he has. Although I have knowledge of this abominable habit prior, I had to wait for him to voluntarily tell me. And second of all, counseling does not involve interrogating.”
Days passed and came the weekend where I’d normally sit and think deeply (after I finish my “talent portion” – doing the laundry) about things that bother me. After offering my prayers for God’s guidance, I texted the said student-counselee, who had already graduated his bachelor’s degree, and informed him of what happened. I told him I was ashamed, in fact. Even before he replied, I expected to get a denial, of course. Wala nga daw magnanakaw ang umaming nagnakaw sila.
The one text that pissed me off, however, was when he told me that all those allegations (when he was yet in school) were plain loose talks because nobody came up with proof or evidence he indeed stole from his schoolmates. This was his reply when I told him that I knew of his bad habit even then, but reminded him at the same time that “if you will just keep a good heart, money will come to you.” I told him abruptly it was time we stop texting because his left brain was at work again. And I sensed it was an orientation he got from someone to evade every time he was on the verge of being caught.
My second to the last message for him was to reassure him of my unfading love and that I will just be around when he needs me. He thanked and texted back telling me that I am really his “secret nanay”. I said: no probs, anak. It’s fine by me. I don’t need to be recognized anyways.
By heaven’s decision, however, to my surprise, I was informed that he struck again! This time he finally got caught. Absolute natural law that nobody runs away from, we indeed must pay, always. Kundi man ngayon, bukas.
After the news, when I finally came to settle my mixed emotions for him, I thought that it was most probably the beginning of his refinement. Everything happens for a purpose, and I am a great believer of that. Especially because an tawo daw, kon diri ngani gud naaaluhan sin tiupay diri man magbabag-o. That, when we hit rock bottom there is nowhere to go, but up.
And then days after, I learned from an old woman friend, that some “father-figure” of this problematic kid was helping him get away with what he has done. Oh, my Lord! What in the world is this again? – I thought. I was taken aback. I froze. I did not know what to think exactly anymore.
Ganito ‘yan: the problem is not immorality right away. The problem begins very subtly. It is imperative for us to inculcate in our young the proper values right from the start. The problem that confronts us very seriously these days is amorality. Everybody, it seems, do not know anymore what is exactly right from wrong; young and old alike, everybody is becoming more and more amoral.
To me, it is a grave misconduct for an adult to be bringing a young with him down, morally speaking. In the context of love naman, I don’t think it is love for the young to teach him of ways to get away with his wrongdoing, no, I don’t think it’s because of love at all. I think it’s done for a serious selfish motive. It’s like a blind leading a blind.
True love does not hurt. It does not mislead anybody. It thinks of only the welfare of the object of his/her love. And most of all, it disciplines. It teaches courage to face realities and attain peace and independence. It teaches acceptance. To say the least, true love empowers.
To bring back our kids to moral consciousness is empowerment. But it is certainly a tough job. If we had been amoral for a long time already, we will find so much difficulty to change because we have so much gray areas to take care of. But we must decide to eradicate the gray areas in our life or they will become black. Mas madali nga daw maging masama kesa maging mabuti’ng tao.
To this day, I keep praying for that kid. I had not heard of him anymore but I hope everything turns out fine for his own good. He is young and has, therefore, so much of life ahead. I hope he gains courage to face whatever consequence attached to what he has done, so he can finally move on. To evade the consequence is to only prolong his agony. Sisingilin at sisingilin tayo ng langit. (I shared with you that in our class, anak. Sana you still remember.)
My prayers for you, baby! God bless you.
I hope you still remember the issue where we discussed a bit regarding amorality because what I am going to share with you in this issue has something to do about it again.
At about a little past five (5) in the afternoon, as I was going down the stairs of my workplace, my attention was called by my lady-friend whom I had formed a sisterly bonding with for about three (3) years already. I was caught off-guard at her kind of approach because it was brutally frank. She was, in fact, sort of blaming me I was not able to prevent the “immoral” act of one of my noted student-counselee (his habit of taking things from others, stealing – in other words, has gone berserk it probably has become a kleptomania by now), he victimized her cousin-priest.
After hearing from her the details of the alleged incident, I told her calmly: “First of all, he did not tell me anything about this stealing habit he has. Although I have knowledge of this abominable habit prior, I had to wait for him to voluntarily tell me. And second of all, counseling does not involve interrogating.”
Days passed and came the weekend where I’d normally sit and think deeply (after I finish my “talent portion” – doing the laundry) about things that bother me. After offering my prayers for God’s guidance, I texted the said student-counselee, who had already graduated his bachelor’s degree, and informed him of what happened. I told him I was ashamed, in fact. Even before he replied, I expected to get a denial, of course. Wala nga daw magnanakaw ang umaming nagnakaw sila.
The one text that pissed me off, however, was when he told me that all those allegations (when he was yet in school) were plain loose talks because nobody came up with proof or evidence he indeed stole from his schoolmates. This was his reply when I told him that I knew of his bad habit even then, but reminded him at the same time that “if you will just keep a good heart, money will come to you.” I told him abruptly it was time we stop texting because his left brain was at work again. And I sensed it was an orientation he got from someone to evade every time he was on the verge of being caught.
My second to the last message for him was to reassure him of my unfading love and that I will just be around when he needs me. He thanked and texted back telling me that I am really his “secret nanay”. I said: no probs, anak. It’s fine by me. I don’t need to be recognized anyways.
By heaven’s decision, however, to my surprise, I was informed that he struck again! This time he finally got caught. Absolute natural law that nobody runs away from, we indeed must pay, always. Kundi man ngayon, bukas.
After the news, when I finally came to settle my mixed emotions for him, I thought that it was most probably the beginning of his refinement. Everything happens for a purpose, and I am a great believer of that. Especially because an tawo daw, kon diri ngani gud naaaluhan sin tiupay diri man magbabag-o. That, when we hit rock bottom there is nowhere to go, but up.
And then days after, I learned from an old woman friend, that some “father-figure” of this problematic kid was helping him get away with what he has done. Oh, my Lord! What in the world is this again? – I thought. I was taken aback. I froze. I did not know what to think exactly anymore.
Ganito ‘yan: the problem is not immorality right away. The problem begins very subtly. It is imperative for us to inculcate in our young the proper values right from the start. The problem that confronts us very seriously these days is amorality. Everybody, it seems, do not know anymore what is exactly right from wrong; young and old alike, everybody is becoming more and more amoral.
To me, it is a grave misconduct for an adult to be bringing a young with him down, morally speaking. In the context of love naman, I don’t think it is love for the young to teach him of ways to get away with his wrongdoing, no, I don’t think it’s because of love at all. I think it’s done for a serious selfish motive. It’s like a blind leading a blind.
True love does not hurt. It does not mislead anybody. It thinks of only the welfare of the object of his/her love. And most of all, it disciplines. It teaches courage to face realities and attain peace and independence. It teaches acceptance. To say the least, true love empowers.
To bring back our kids to moral consciousness is empowerment. But it is certainly a tough job. If we had been amoral for a long time already, we will find so much difficulty to change because we have so much gray areas to take care of. But we must decide to eradicate the gray areas in our life or they will become black. Mas madali nga daw maging masama kesa maging mabuti’ng tao.
To this day, I keep praying for that kid. I had not heard of him anymore but I hope everything turns out fine for his own good. He is young and has, therefore, so much of life ahead. I hope he gains courage to face whatever consequence attached to what he has done, so he can finally move on. To evade the consequence is to only prolong his agony. Sisingilin at sisingilin tayo ng langit. (I shared with you that in our class, anak. Sana you still remember.)
My prayers for you, baby! God bless you.
Monday, July 20, 2009
A.R.K.
Not much of a joiner and who has a habit of spontaneity, I was enjoying a movie with my eldest son this particular Saturday night. The movie: Evan Almighty. My son told me it was a sequel of Bruce Almighty. It was a very relaxing evening after the rather tight week days I had, especially because it had been awhile since I last saw a movie. The ending of the movie showed God writing, the word ARK, in the sand and at the same time providing the meaning of it: Act of Random Kindness.
My prayers before going to bed that night was focused on thanking God for providing me the way. You see, the so-called love for humanity can be very engulfing sometimes, I had been praying He lets my heart find rest in Him. His message He delivered through that movie: that I am task to perform exactly that, provide act of random kindness, not save the world. For it is only Jesus Christ He sent to save the world, nobody else. My task is to save my self, after that I got to build the ARK to reflect Him in me.
Late in the afternoon before that night though, there was this thought that kept nagging me: I was kind of sad it seemed to me like, the people who hold the key to helping the ones who need them (and there are many!) have set themselves apart from the rest. My messianic complex can, at times, be very bothering that it gets in my nerves. God’s message of building an ARK gives me the peace and quite I so needed for so long.
Back in those days, however, I had been (and I tried so hard) doing acts of kindness, but in my own translation. After my transformation I accepted that I did those to build my image. That although they were really offers of an all-out help, it was my self (and only my self) that mattered. There was no God in them. I was not reflecting Him in me.
It was in my time of adversity that I finally realized it was I first who needed the kindness I gave away to others. My interpretation then of selflessness was in fact and in truth selfishness. I was just using others for my image-building in the thought that by being kind to them they will also be to me. I was building castles in the sand. When my world collapsed, the people I served dropped me for dead! Yukat sa akon!
When I awoke I found out I made plenty of mistakes. So, I had to go back again. Start from where I needed to begin, but this time I had God in me through Jesus, His Son. He has to take the front seat. I had to be at the back seat because I was blind. I must pay.
Today, however, what sadden me are the ill motives of people for using people. John Powell had it in one of his books as a strong reminder that: “people need to use things and love people; not love things and use people.” But I think they fell into mindlessness, deaf ears and darkened hearts.
That is what the world is right now. We probably have to accept that, no matter the pain. We only need to contribute the way God wants of us. Use the unique gifts and talents He gave us as contribution to better the world. Every little good deed is indeed needed, more than the grandest intention we have.
As for me, I just have to live the best way I know how and give the most I can. I should not get in the way of God for whatever plans He has for His creations. To grapple with the wickedness of the world will only bring me frustrations and disappointments which will destroy me. The most important thing for me to consider and appreciate is God’s granting me His greatest gift of healing both my personality and my soul. Now is the most appropriate time for me to build God’s ARK – as my way of giving back to Him.
God bless us, everyone!
My prayers before going to bed that night was focused on thanking God for providing me the way. You see, the so-called love for humanity can be very engulfing sometimes, I had been praying He lets my heart find rest in Him. His message He delivered through that movie: that I am task to perform exactly that, provide act of random kindness, not save the world. For it is only Jesus Christ He sent to save the world, nobody else. My task is to save my self, after that I got to build the ARK to reflect Him in me.
Late in the afternoon before that night though, there was this thought that kept nagging me: I was kind of sad it seemed to me like, the people who hold the key to helping the ones who need them (and there are many!) have set themselves apart from the rest. My messianic complex can, at times, be very bothering that it gets in my nerves. God’s message of building an ARK gives me the peace and quite I so needed for so long.
Back in those days, however, I had been (and I tried so hard) doing acts of kindness, but in my own translation. After my transformation I accepted that I did those to build my image. That although they were really offers of an all-out help, it was my self (and only my self) that mattered. There was no God in them. I was not reflecting Him in me.
It was in my time of adversity that I finally realized it was I first who needed the kindness I gave away to others. My interpretation then of selflessness was in fact and in truth selfishness. I was just using others for my image-building in the thought that by being kind to them they will also be to me. I was building castles in the sand. When my world collapsed, the people I served dropped me for dead! Yukat sa akon!
When I awoke I found out I made plenty of mistakes. So, I had to go back again. Start from where I needed to begin, but this time I had God in me through Jesus, His Son. He has to take the front seat. I had to be at the back seat because I was blind. I must pay.
Today, however, what sadden me are the ill motives of people for using people. John Powell had it in one of his books as a strong reminder that: “people need to use things and love people; not love things and use people.” But I think they fell into mindlessness, deaf ears and darkened hearts.
That is what the world is right now. We probably have to accept that, no matter the pain. We only need to contribute the way God wants of us. Use the unique gifts and talents He gave us as contribution to better the world. Every little good deed is indeed needed, more than the grandest intention we have.
As for me, I just have to live the best way I know how and give the most I can. I should not get in the way of God for whatever plans He has for His creations. To grapple with the wickedness of the world will only bring me frustrations and disappointments which will destroy me. The most important thing for me to consider and appreciate is God’s granting me His greatest gift of healing both my personality and my soul. Now is the most appropriate time for me to build God’s ARK – as my way of giving back to Him.
God bless us, everyone!
Friday, July 10, 2009
FATHER
The month of June is here again. It is with great excitement that I enter into my world of grateful reminiscence once again every time we celebrate Father’s Day. Fond memories with the “great men of my life” always make me wish I am a little girl once more. As I wrote this I felt very emotional in praising God for giving me them. Ain’t I lucky?
It is very ironic though that at the very same time I also felt immeasurable sadness for the youth of today. Leo J. Trese, in his book MANY ARE ONE, exposed that “…in the primitive times, the father of the family was also the priest”. Eureka! I finally found the final piece to complete the puzzle I was so long trying to piece together to somehow find the answers to my innumerable whys – the causes of our ever increasing number of lost souls, both of this world and those in the other locations.
Like St. Thomas More, I think the most of us are also dreaming his dream for utopia. For who wouldn’t be? The killings that happened for the past few weeks are very disconcerting. It is a glaring truth that we have totally lost our reverence for life. I cry inside for every un-fateful eventuality, look up to the heavens and offer prayer, for that is all I can do. Literally, I sigh, where have all our fathers gone? What have they done when their kids were young? Where were they when their children needed them? What are they doing now? And I cry some more. Every time I feel the frustration I still shed tears of pain and loneliness maybe in realization that the dream will remain but a dream. What with the way things are.
As if this is not enough yet. The not-so-recent reshuffling of assignments (please correct me if I’m wrong) of our beloved priests in our most loved Diocese – in the words of Bishop Singzon, “the religiosity of Calbayog City is second to none” – has stirred up and effected malicious controversy upon its flock and parishioners, as if adding insult to injury. Figuratively then, I ask, what happened to you “Fathers”? What is it in Theology that made you Theomaniacs? What exactly are you doing that for? Satisfy your hunger for money which you did not have, or had not enough of, when you were growing up because you associated it with power? How on earth can you make me believe what you preach when your actions do not make me? Aren’t you a little too confused maybe about service and income? In the words of my good friend: income in the guise of service? You are supposed to have stipend la because your chosen field is for the betterment and most especially salvation of the people’s soul – because it is what is eternal – you are not there for profit. Kaya nga po tinawag kayo’ng Vicars for Christ, eh.
Two (2) weeks ago, my dearest friend – a nun – sent me this text message: “it is not what we have but what we give; not what we say but how we live.” That is what service is all about, dear “Fathers”! “Without love, everything that we say is but an empty sound” (maski nano niyo pa kaupay magyinakan), according to Leo J. Trese, to which I add, and everything that we do is but a mere action. Only Love gives meaning to everything.
This nun-friend of mine, by the way, did not even finish college because when she was barely there, her heart was achingly longing to serve God through His people. So, off she went inside a nunnery despite objections from her father, since she is his only daughter.
What about you? What were your motives when you to entered priesthood? With all due respect, I need to ask you that because if I won’t, who will? Isn’t it about time you pay close and very serious attention to the thoughts of Carl Jung when he said: “it is indeed high time for the clergy and the psychotherapists to join forces.”? Everybody needs to heal. No one is exempted. Nga sa akon personal la nga opinyon, ILABI NA GUD KAMO, ‘DRE!
The author of the book INTIMACY WITH GOD said, “we are culpable for every soul that we bring to hell.” At madami’ng madami pong souls ‘yang nakaatang sa mga balikat ninyo. I’m sorry, I know I really don’t need to remind you that. Pero kasi, because “Wisdom comes only from God”, ‘di natin namamalayan na iba na pala ang god na sinasamba natin kaya nawawala na tayo sa tamang landas. At pabobo na tayo nang pabobo, simply because we believed and were carried away by the lies and promises of the devil hidden in the materialism of this world. (see: Romans 1:21-25 and John 8:44)
I appeal to your heart and senses that if you must sell your soul, by all means, do that your self/selves. Kayo na lang po. Wag n’yo na pong dalhin at idamay pa ang iba’ng mga pobre at inosente’ng kaluluwa. Excuse me for saying this, but I don’t believe na sa hell, the more the merrier pa rin. Lord, have mercy on Your people!
The very moment I realized that we are all brothers and sisters in one big family of God, I told my kids to call me the way they want to. In fact I had always laughed heartily every time my eldest son addressed me by my first name – because he knows I dreaded to be called so then (another reason perhaps I adopted a pen name? Maybe). It is my youngest son who’d gracefully call me by my nickname na pinapaganda pa n’ya lalo by pronouncing it sweetly in one syllable. (I especially came to like, and eventually loved, my nickname since my third child informed me what it stands for: consecrated to God, daw. Kaya i’m trying very hard to live up to it. And I always need God’s power to be able to.) Their calling me those did not last long though. They went back to calling me Nanay. But I really believe in my heart it was not a case of “the tradition lived on” but a case of “respect begets respect”.
Again I say, people of God are people of courage. I wrote this not for the intention of hurting but for the purpose of awakening. True love must impose discipline through honesty. Jesus said, the Truth shall set you free. Catherine Booth’s words are inspiring to aspire: “if we are to better the future, we must disturb the present.” Here’s one more interesting quote I always read in a paper na matagal ko nang pinanggigigilang mag-react to: “evil triumphs because good men do nothing.” And I ask: “in that case, are they really good?” I really honestly think they are cowards yet. Sorry po…! To quote Leo J. Trese again: “It is easier to die for Christ than live for Him.”
As I say goodbye for now, may I leave you with what the Holy Bible said in Matthew 23:8-11 as follows: “but you, do not be called Rabbi; for one is your Teacher, the Christ, and you are all brethren. Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven. And do not be called teacher; for One is your Teacher, the Christ. But he who is greatest among you shall be your SERVANT.”
My evolution tells me that “Love is beyond religion.” That our choice of religion is our personal decision based on whatever reasons we have for choosing it, and for which nobody has the right to question. My opposition to what is currently happening is not at all indicative of any intent to leave (I am a self-declared Franciscan forever). For how are we to help if we are not there anymore?
Kaakibat ng desisyon ko to thread the narrow path ay ang desisyong ‘wag bumitaw, even when I am confronted by the harsh realities of life. Byron MacDonald said: “it is difficult to live in a culture and not be a part of the culture” (THE MORNING COMES, AND ALSO THE NIGHT). Kaya palaging the correct path is “the road less traveled” (M. Scott Peck). I must stay the course, no matter! Keep my Faith, and adopt the principle to “hate the sin, not the sinner/s.”
“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
Ciao, dearest friends, ciao!
It is very ironic though that at the very same time I also felt immeasurable sadness for the youth of today. Leo J. Trese, in his book MANY ARE ONE, exposed that “…in the primitive times, the father of the family was also the priest”. Eureka! I finally found the final piece to complete the puzzle I was so long trying to piece together to somehow find the answers to my innumerable whys – the causes of our ever increasing number of lost souls, both of this world and those in the other locations.
Like St. Thomas More, I think the most of us are also dreaming his dream for utopia. For who wouldn’t be? The killings that happened for the past few weeks are very disconcerting. It is a glaring truth that we have totally lost our reverence for life. I cry inside for every un-fateful eventuality, look up to the heavens and offer prayer, for that is all I can do. Literally, I sigh, where have all our fathers gone? What have they done when their kids were young? Where were they when their children needed them? What are they doing now? And I cry some more. Every time I feel the frustration I still shed tears of pain and loneliness maybe in realization that the dream will remain but a dream. What with the way things are.
As if this is not enough yet. The not-so-recent reshuffling of assignments (please correct me if I’m wrong) of our beloved priests in our most loved Diocese – in the words of Bishop Singzon, “the religiosity of Calbayog City is second to none” – has stirred up and effected malicious controversy upon its flock and parishioners, as if adding insult to injury. Figuratively then, I ask, what happened to you “Fathers”? What is it in Theology that made you Theomaniacs? What exactly are you doing that for? Satisfy your hunger for money which you did not have, or had not enough of, when you were growing up because you associated it with power? How on earth can you make me believe what you preach when your actions do not make me? Aren’t you a little too confused maybe about service and income? In the words of my good friend: income in the guise of service? You are supposed to have stipend la because your chosen field is for the betterment and most especially salvation of the people’s soul – because it is what is eternal – you are not there for profit. Kaya nga po tinawag kayo’ng Vicars for Christ, eh.
Two (2) weeks ago, my dearest friend – a nun – sent me this text message: “it is not what we have but what we give; not what we say but how we live.” That is what service is all about, dear “Fathers”! “Without love, everything that we say is but an empty sound” (maski nano niyo pa kaupay magyinakan), according to Leo J. Trese, to which I add, and everything that we do is but a mere action. Only Love gives meaning to everything.
This nun-friend of mine, by the way, did not even finish college because when she was barely there, her heart was achingly longing to serve God through His people. So, off she went inside a nunnery despite objections from her father, since she is his only daughter.
What about you? What were your motives when you to entered priesthood? With all due respect, I need to ask you that because if I won’t, who will? Isn’t it about time you pay close and very serious attention to the thoughts of Carl Jung when he said: “it is indeed high time for the clergy and the psychotherapists to join forces.”? Everybody needs to heal. No one is exempted. Nga sa akon personal la nga opinyon, ILABI NA GUD KAMO, ‘DRE!
The author of the book INTIMACY WITH GOD said, “we are culpable for every soul that we bring to hell.” At madami’ng madami pong souls ‘yang nakaatang sa mga balikat ninyo. I’m sorry, I know I really don’t need to remind you that. Pero kasi, because “Wisdom comes only from God”, ‘di natin namamalayan na iba na pala ang god na sinasamba natin kaya nawawala na tayo sa tamang landas. At pabobo na tayo nang pabobo, simply because we believed and were carried away by the lies and promises of the devil hidden in the materialism of this world. (see: Romans 1:21-25 and John 8:44)
I appeal to your heart and senses that if you must sell your soul, by all means, do that your self/selves. Kayo na lang po. Wag n’yo na pong dalhin at idamay pa ang iba’ng mga pobre at inosente’ng kaluluwa. Excuse me for saying this, but I don’t believe na sa hell, the more the merrier pa rin. Lord, have mercy on Your people!
The very moment I realized that we are all brothers and sisters in one big family of God, I told my kids to call me the way they want to. In fact I had always laughed heartily every time my eldest son addressed me by my first name – because he knows I dreaded to be called so then (another reason perhaps I adopted a pen name? Maybe). It is my youngest son who’d gracefully call me by my nickname na pinapaganda pa n’ya lalo by pronouncing it sweetly in one syllable. (I especially came to like, and eventually loved, my nickname since my third child informed me what it stands for: consecrated to God, daw. Kaya i’m trying very hard to live up to it. And I always need God’s power to be able to.) Their calling me those did not last long though. They went back to calling me Nanay. But I really believe in my heart it was not a case of “the tradition lived on” but a case of “respect begets respect”.
Again I say, people of God are people of courage. I wrote this not for the intention of hurting but for the purpose of awakening. True love must impose discipline through honesty. Jesus said, the Truth shall set you free. Catherine Booth’s words are inspiring to aspire: “if we are to better the future, we must disturb the present.” Here’s one more interesting quote I always read in a paper na matagal ko nang pinanggigigilang mag-react to: “evil triumphs because good men do nothing.” And I ask: “in that case, are they really good?” I really honestly think they are cowards yet. Sorry po…! To quote Leo J. Trese again: “It is easier to die for Christ than live for Him.”
As I say goodbye for now, may I leave you with what the Holy Bible said in Matthew 23:8-11 as follows: “but you, do not be called Rabbi; for one is your Teacher, the Christ, and you are all brethren. Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven. And do not be called teacher; for One is your Teacher, the Christ. But he who is greatest among you shall be your SERVANT.”
My evolution tells me that “Love is beyond religion.” That our choice of religion is our personal decision based on whatever reasons we have for choosing it, and for which nobody has the right to question. My opposition to what is currently happening is not at all indicative of any intent to leave (I am a self-declared Franciscan forever). For how are we to help if we are not there anymore?
Kaakibat ng desisyon ko to thread the narrow path ay ang desisyong ‘wag bumitaw, even when I am confronted by the harsh realities of life. Byron MacDonald said: “it is difficult to live in a culture and not be a part of the culture” (THE MORNING COMES, AND ALSO THE NIGHT). Kaya palaging the correct path is “the road less traveled” (M. Scott Peck). I must stay the course, no matter! Keep my Faith, and adopt the principle to “hate the sin, not the sinner/s.”
“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
Ciao, dearest friends, ciao!
TAKEN FOR GRANTED
Fresh from a heart break, I am at a loss – as if suffering from a mental block – about what to write about. Suddenly my mobile phone beeped and there goes my friend. I met him not too long ago but we instantly developed an amazing kind of friendship that up to this day we argue about who is the “kuya” or the “ate” between us (he is a year younger than me, though), who never fails to amuse me with his greetings of love. Honest-to-goodness people are truly God’s treasure He sent among us to cheer us up, even in our deepest trouble, as His proof of His unending love for us. They are our real-life superheroes who always save our day in realistic ways.
The very first time I chanced upon Kamikazee Band performing their Narda song over MYX Channel, nailing ako sa tuwa sa lyrics nito. Our hunger for superhero-like people is escalating every second. We are God’s superheroes as His greatest miracle (remember Og Mandino’s book of the same title?) but we stubbornly choose to deny us.
In one of the pleasant conversations we (me and the friend I mentioned above) had, we recounted our individual struggles before reaching this joyous spiritual stage. Eventually we arrived at different anecdotes on “admirers” – who come in different styles: either nice or irritating. We were probably on unspoken agreement to find effective strategies to be rid of unimportant matters. We laughed loudly and enjoyed the thought of a strategy to wear shirt with a strong message in print to discourage unnecessary flirts. I said, mine will carry the words: “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT”, or I’m NOT interested!”. I got him. But he toppled mine with his. In front daw nakasulat “TAKEN”, at the back “…FOR GRANTED”.
Seriously now, what about you? Who took you for granted, when you were a kid, in favor of someone or something? Maybe, just maybe, it’s actually what’s driving you mad to endlessly prove to the world your worth. Unknown to you, though, you might probably be filling-in a so-called “recognition hunger” (Thomas Harris: I’M OK, YOU’RE OK) as a carry-over since childhood.
Friends, when we do not know how to treat people properly, the issue or problem is not about other people. Tayo mismo ang isyu o problema. Nobody has been spared of a childhood wound, ever! Look back. Think. Dig deeply. Then choose to forgive. Heal.
Frankly speaking, (I’m going to get the ire of the many for doing this but I have to) our childhood wounds were mostly caused by our parents or the elders of the environment we grew up into. We just pushed them aside inside our head because we were repeatedly told to love them, for Charity begins at home – which is totally fine. It is very correct, in fact.
The problem is, up until the time we have grown to be adults (supposedly) we were not informed that we have to be in touch with our “home-base” first. We cannot effectively love the people inside our home without it. Our home-base is our self. We can get in touch only with our own self by reconciliation through forgiveness.
We have to initially and importantly forgive our parents or any elders because, believe me, THEY RAISED US THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE ACCORDING TO THEIR LIMITED KNOWLEDGE which were handed to them by responsible people who raised them also. Kaya nga history repeats itself lang at vicious cycle palagi ang buhay. Until we choose to breakaway from the cycle realizing that it’s not doing us any good anyway.
Forgive and be grateful to God you have come this far instead. Count more your blessings. This alone will get you out from the bondage of the past. Letting go of your past through forgiveness is the passport to taking care of your self. Unless you do this, you will continue to neglect yourself. Thus, you continue with whatever form of habit or addiction/s which actually are forms of numbing your mind to get away.
Our self-neglect led us to harm and hurt people, whether or not we did it deliberately. I do not know much about sins but I am wondering how this, harming or hurting others, is related to what they call “sins of omission” and “sins of commission”. Self-neglect is also the “building block” to accepting other people’s generous offer of love. We are so threatened and feel so unworthy unconsciously that we often behave with our neurosis in control, taking the wheel at the driver’s seat. That caused us a lot of mistrust. So we judge and whisk people right away na para lang silang gamit o basahan na kukunin lang uli pag kailangan na.
For those who have been harmed or hurt, I pray you decide to forgive. I know you have been angry at first. It is a normal reaction. But anger management tells us to recognize and accept that we are angry. Do something about the anger by crying maybe, or whatever healthy strategy that you feel fit to do. Just don’t involve hurting others also because that is displacement which is completely unhealthy as well as disastrous. When you have felt a lot better, decide to forgive through God’s intervention. The best way to forgive is to pray for the person who hurt you. But most importantly, after the storm begin to trust and love again.
Love cannot survive without trust. When we learn the lessons of our experiences, we decide how to love best according to what we went through. Or we become paranoid. Personally, “loving from a distance” (as I call it) has been an effective strategy. I have to do this in complete obedience of Jesus Christ’s call “to love”.
Loving from a distance does not necessarily mean withdrawal of support or friendship from anybody. It is simply “respecting the pace” (Alan Loy McGinnis, THE FRIENDSHIP FACTOR) of a person’s (spiritual) growth. This is because we definitely differ in our healing process, specifically the time factor. Depende san aton sincerity and perseverance to do so. But mostly on God’s grace.
Our complete healing is the only key to reconciliation with our self. This self-reconciliation will lead us to truly love our self. When we have come to love our self truly already we can begin to love others as well. It is by this process alone where we can be spiritually transformed effectively. And when we have reached our spiritual height, we can then comfortably profess our love to anybody, and everybody. It is in this state alone where love is true and pure. Other than this, our “I love you-promise”, conveyed in whatever ways, is unstable – as we are. It will not hold water. It will be meaningless and forever changing.
Strive, dear friends. Let that God in your head enter your heart. It is only when Jesus Christ is truly inside your heart that you can “put premium on people” (Ron Jenson, MAKE A LIFE NOT JUST A LIVING); when your “I love you” is “truly I love you”; and when you consider each one as a child of God, just like you are. Remember, nobody has the right to treat anybody like garbage. We are all very special children of God!
May God’s loving and eternal grace pour abundantly on all of us, dearest friends. Bye.
The very first time I chanced upon Kamikazee Band performing their Narda song over MYX Channel, nailing ako sa tuwa sa lyrics nito. Our hunger for superhero-like people is escalating every second. We are God’s superheroes as His greatest miracle (remember Og Mandino’s book of the same title?) but we stubbornly choose to deny us.
In one of the pleasant conversations we (me and the friend I mentioned above) had, we recounted our individual struggles before reaching this joyous spiritual stage. Eventually we arrived at different anecdotes on “admirers” – who come in different styles: either nice or irritating. We were probably on unspoken agreement to find effective strategies to be rid of unimportant matters. We laughed loudly and enjoyed the thought of a strategy to wear shirt with a strong message in print to discourage unnecessary flirts. I said, mine will carry the words: “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT”, or I’m NOT interested!”. I got him. But he toppled mine with his. In front daw nakasulat “TAKEN”, at the back “…FOR GRANTED”.
Seriously now, what about you? Who took you for granted, when you were a kid, in favor of someone or something? Maybe, just maybe, it’s actually what’s driving you mad to endlessly prove to the world your worth. Unknown to you, though, you might probably be filling-in a so-called “recognition hunger” (Thomas Harris: I’M OK, YOU’RE OK) as a carry-over since childhood.
Friends, when we do not know how to treat people properly, the issue or problem is not about other people. Tayo mismo ang isyu o problema. Nobody has been spared of a childhood wound, ever! Look back. Think. Dig deeply. Then choose to forgive. Heal.
Frankly speaking, (I’m going to get the ire of the many for doing this but I have to) our childhood wounds were mostly caused by our parents or the elders of the environment we grew up into. We just pushed them aside inside our head because we were repeatedly told to love them, for Charity begins at home – which is totally fine. It is very correct, in fact.
The problem is, up until the time we have grown to be adults (supposedly) we were not informed that we have to be in touch with our “home-base” first. We cannot effectively love the people inside our home without it. Our home-base is our self. We can get in touch only with our own self by reconciliation through forgiveness.
We have to initially and importantly forgive our parents or any elders because, believe me, THEY RAISED US THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE ACCORDING TO THEIR LIMITED KNOWLEDGE which were handed to them by responsible people who raised them also. Kaya nga history repeats itself lang at vicious cycle palagi ang buhay. Until we choose to breakaway from the cycle realizing that it’s not doing us any good anyway.
Forgive and be grateful to God you have come this far instead. Count more your blessings. This alone will get you out from the bondage of the past. Letting go of your past through forgiveness is the passport to taking care of your self. Unless you do this, you will continue to neglect yourself. Thus, you continue with whatever form of habit or addiction/s which actually are forms of numbing your mind to get away.
Our self-neglect led us to harm and hurt people, whether or not we did it deliberately. I do not know much about sins but I am wondering how this, harming or hurting others, is related to what they call “sins of omission” and “sins of commission”. Self-neglect is also the “building block” to accepting other people’s generous offer of love. We are so threatened and feel so unworthy unconsciously that we often behave with our neurosis in control, taking the wheel at the driver’s seat. That caused us a lot of mistrust. So we judge and whisk people right away na para lang silang gamit o basahan na kukunin lang uli pag kailangan na.
For those who have been harmed or hurt, I pray you decide to forgive. I know you have been angry at first. It is a normal reaction. But anger management tells us to recognize and accept that we are angry. Do something about the anger by crying maybe, or whatever healthy strategy that you feel fit to do. Just don’t involve hurting others also because that is displacement which is completely unhealthy as well as disastrous. When you have felt a lot better, decide to forgive through God’s intervention. The best way to forgive is to pray for the person who hurt you. But most importantly, after the storm begin to trust and love again.
Love cannot survive without trust. When we learn the lessons of our experiences, we decide how to love best according to what we went through. Or we become paranoid. Personally, “loving from a distance” (as I call it) has been an effective strategy. I have to do this in complete obedience of Jesus Christ’s call “to love”.
Loving from a distance does not necessarily mean withdrawal of support or friendship from anybody. It is simply “respecting the pace” (Alan Loy McGinnis, THE FRIENDSHIP FACTOR) of a person’s (spiritual) growth. This is because we definitely differ in our healing process, specifically the time factor. Depende san aton sincerity and perseverance to do so. But mostly on God’s grace.
Our complete healing is the only key to reconciliation with our self. This self-reconciliation will lead us to truly love our self. When we have come to love our self truly already we can begin to love others as well. It is by this process alone where we can be spiritually transformed effectively. And when we have reached our spiritual height, we can then comfortably profess our love to anybody, and everybody. It is in this state alone where love is true and pure. Other than this, our “I love you-promise”, conveyed in whatever ways, is unstable – as we are. It will not hold water. It will be meaningless and forever changing.
Strive, dear friends. Let that God in your head enter your heart. It is only when Jesus Christ is truly inside your heart that you can “put premium on people” (Ron Jenson, MAKE A LIFE NOT JUST A LIVING); when your “I love you” is “truly I love you”; and when you consider each one as a child of God, just like you are. Remember, nobody has the right to treat anybody like garbage. We are all very special children of God!
May God’s loving and eternal grace pour abundantly on all of us, dearest friends. Bye.
Friday, May 29, 2009
SIMPLISTIC THINKING
Writing the thesis to qualify for graduation in my post-graduate studies is a no-nonsense and therefore, an excruciatingly difficult task for me. The very first part of any thesis, I was informed, is very technical. This is one of the two reasons I find it hard to accomplish: I have not only accepted that I hate technicalities in all forms, but that it seemed to me that I also have a very strong resistance to reading technical books or any literature of this kind. Besides, I got this feeling that I don’t really need to prove anything to anybody. So I frequently ask myself: what am I doing this for? Of course, I also find the answers (ask and you shall receive): our Dean is persistently asking me to (and since she is a dear good friend I truly respect and for whom I just couldn’t say no to) and is ever-present in every step of the way to lead and guide me (thesis writing is one of her forte); and maybe I need this to fulfill whatever mission I have in the future. Part of my belief is that, God gives me difficulties to prepare me to do His Will.
My resistance to reading the required materials led me one time to eavesdrop in a hearty conversation of about three of my officemates (distractions are normal in halfhearted tasks). They were kind of arguing whether or not it is possible to have a sexless union between two people in love. One of them has already evolved, as I know him, on matters regarding love. Naturally he will testify for an affirmation. The other one, who bears a rather “ill reputation” pertaining his philosophical points of view, outrageously negated and presented his arguments in full force. I was completely dismayed but managed to maintain my composure. It was as if I had not heard anything obnoxious at all, I appeared to be completely engrossed in what I was reading.
I congratulated myself for the inner triumph not only because it felt good inside but mostly because I was very grateful upon realization that I am a step forward, thinking wise. And I thanked God again for the leverage. Wisdom comes only from God.
I could not help smiling in looking back to the time when I would easily glide in and make “patol” to every argument or discussion I came across with. Tsk, tsk, those were the times of my insecurity. That is how pathetic we can get in times yet of our insecurity. It’s like we really need to do anything and everything, no matter how obscure it/they may seem, just to prove (instead of improve).
As I wrote this, I already am over two years in a relationship (that is more of a friendship) which is purely God-based, as we define it following our premise that God is love. And although we did make any commitment, or any promise for that matter, I am happy and contented with what I have with him. I couldn’t be more convinced that it is the presence of God in both our hearts that give us the feeling of calm and contentment (please refer to our previously discussed meaning of Attachment).
When I answer questions about our sex life, people refuse to believe that we don’t have that. I mean, not yet. And if in the future we will have that, nobody knows. The only thing we know is that, WE GO WHERE GOD LEADS US. At our age (we are both in our midlife) it is an absolute foolishness to even think about it. Eh, been there, done that na ak siton ngatanan. What matters, guys, is love, not sex! If someday God permits us so, bonus na la iton. And it will be what Gary Zukav, in his book HEART OF THE SOUL, calls a “celebration of life” – not plain sex.
As I move further in my contemplation, I really think that what led us to our failures (or what others call “sin”) is our simplistic thinking. This led me more to think deep and resolve why Jesus Christ in His time here on Earth often talked in parables. He wanted us to use our heads more. Sloth is considered a capital sin because we are lazy to think. The good and the evil are both inside our very head. And our laziness is driving us to evilness. When we decide to be plain human beings we choose simplistic thinking. Unconsciously, we chose not to think at all, because the other term for simplistic thinking is “no thinking” at all.
Choose to go beyond human beings, friends. It’s our only hope. We are, most of all, Divine. Strive hard to reach for that, your highest nature, because that is where our only hope is situated. That is where God is. And God is our only Hope!
My resistance to reading the required materials led me one time to eavesdrop in a hearty conversation of about three of my officemates (distractions are normal in halfhearted tasks). They were kind of arguing whether or not it is possible to have a sexless union between two people in love. One of them has already evolved, as I know him, on matters regarding love. Naturally he will testify for an affirmation. The other one, who bears a rather “ill reputation” pertaining his philosophical points of view, outrageously negated and presented his arguments in full force. I was completely dismayed but managed to maintain my composure. It was as if I had not heard anything obnoxious at all, I appeared to be completely engrossed in what I was reading.
I congratulated myself for the inner triumph not only because it felt good inside but mostly because I was very grateful upon realization that I am a step forward, thinking wise. And I thanked God again for the leverage. Wisdom comes only from God.
I could not help smiling in looking back to the time when I would easily glide in and make “patol” to every argument or discussion I came across with. Tsk, tsk, those were the times of my insecurity. That is how pathetic we can get in times yet of our insecurity. It’s like we really need to do anything and everything, no matter how obscure it/they may seem, just to prove (instead of improve).
As I wrote this, I already am over two years in a relationship (that is more of a friendship) which is purely God-based, as we define it following our premise that God is love. And although we did make any commitment, or any promise for that matter, I am happy and contented with what I have with him. I couldn’t be more convinced that it is the presence of God in both our hearts that give us the feeling of calm and contentment (please refer to our previously discussed meaning of Attachment).
When I answer questions about our sex life, people refuse to believe that we don’t have that. I mean, not yet. And if in the future we will have that, nobody knows. The only thing we know is that, WE GO WHERE GOD LEADS US. At our age (we are both in our midlife) it is an absolute foolishness to even think about it. Eh, been there, done that na ak siton ngatanan. What matters, guys, is love, not sex! If someday God permits us so, bonus na la iton. And it will be what Gary Zukav, in his book HEART OF THE SOUL, calls a “celebration of life” – not plain sex.
As I move further in my contemplation, I really think that what led us to our failures (or what others call “sin”) is our simplistic thinking. This led me more to think deep and resolve why Jesus Christ in His time here on Earth often talked in parables. He wanted us to use our heads more. Sloth is considered a capital sin because we are lazy to think. The good and the evil are both inside our very head. And our laziness is driving us to evilness. When we decide to be plain human beings we choose simplistic thinking. Unconsciously, we chose not to think at all, because the other term for simplistic thinking is “no thinking” at all.
Choose to go beyond human beings, friends. It’s our only hope. We are, most of all, Divine. Strive hard to reach for that, your highest nature, because that is where our only hope is situated. That is where God is. And God is our only Hope!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
LIFE BALANCE
Thoughts and reflection – 10/24/07, while on board a tricycle at around 12.30 pm, going home for lunch break from the office:
“Life is meant for balance. Without balance we cannot find our purpose. The purpose of life enables us to live with meaning. For us, Catholics, we find that particular purpose in our deep relationship with our Almighty Father through His Son Jesus Christ (and Jesus’ Mother Mary for whom we must pay tribute to for giving in fully, in complete obedience, to our Almighty Father’s Will), through the Holy Rosary and Eucharistic Celebration or Holy Mass.
When we look really closely and reflect, we see the balance in the life of Jesus Christ. In associating our life with Jesus we realize that life does not only consist of pains and sufferings (Sorrowful Mystery) but happiness (Joyful Mystery) as well. When we have accepted and let God enter our heart (Light Mystery) He shows us the way – which is repentance and forgiveness – we then see Hope in Him and receive graces through His loving mercy (Glorious Mystery) and we feel alive again, as if resurrected from the dead.
Pope John Paul II, to whom God entrusted the introduction and incorporation of the Light Mystery in our Holy Rosary, always called for balance (I saw the video re-runs of His Holiness at the EWTN Channel). Reflecting on Light Mystery I was astounded to find out that: it is only through our Baptism (of Fire) that we finally see our Miracles. When we see and thus, appreciate these miracles we are inspired to Proclaim God’s Kingdom (via testimonies as we experienced God’s presence in our life) caused by our joyfulness and indescribable feeling of the divine discovery.
The proclamation that we do will effect in us subtle or even abrupt inward transformation (Transfiguration), through our consistent efforts and consistent prayers because we cannot do everything in our power. To be able to sustain this inward feeling of transformation, which we must guard against all odds because it is our only hope for salvation, we continuously guard our self by participating (not only attending) Jesus Christ’s Instituted Holy Eucharist or Holy Mass – our highest form of prayer. Amen.”
Scanning my old files to de-clutter my drawers, I stumbled unto this one I reflected above. As I go into outpouring my sentiment for this issue, I sincerely pray that I may not hurt anybody as I do not have the intention to. But should in case I will, as it is in every human nature to get hurt because of guilt due to unhealed wound/s, I humbly ask for forgiveness for my unintended “misgiving”.
On that GODly Wednesday, I attended a funeral mass for the burial of Atty. & Mrs. Noel S. Sermense’s youngest son (the handsomest angel of God, in life form – and even in death – I ever laid my eyes on!). I was seated beside my “Ate” (the term I fondly use to call my dearest girl-friends, who are chronologically older than I am, out of love and respect for them). After the rite, we got to ask each other of our private lives for purposes maybe of lightening the heavy feeling associated with the event.
She told me she is fine naman and is still in a relationship with her boyfriend even if she is not experiencing the feelings for him anymore. She enthused further that it is only because her mother is preventing her to break off with the boyfriend that is probably keeping the relationship intact. I find that to be a perfect pity, pathetic.
I don’t know how it is with you, friends, but for me, BALANCE IS THE ONLY WAY TO FIND HEAVEN ON EARTH. You see, what transpired between my Ate and I made me travel back to the time when the totality of my being was in search for that magic most people translate as “feelings”…and now I realized that that time was plain crazy!
The association of love to feelings alone is not definitely IT, my friends. Read these scientific findings closely and I hope you get to think/reflect seriously and deeply after reading.
“Ms. Helen Fisher, a U.S. Anthropologist and the author of the book WHY WE LOVE, exposed her findings that there are neuro-chemical triggers or stimulants which cause us the urge to mate. She offered the following information:
LUST – the desire for sexual gratification is caused by the stimulants TESTOSTERONE;
ROMANTIC LOVE – the state of feeling high is caused by the stimulants called
DOPAMINE and SEROTONIN; and
ATTACHMENT – the feeling of calmness and contentment from a relationship comes
from the stimulants OXYTOCIN and VASOPRESSIN.
If you still remember my presentation regarding the three (3) natures of man (animal, human, and divine) and connect these facts to the findings of Ms. Fisher, you are going to find out perfectly well that the most important of all is situated, described and considered the least because it is the last. But, alas, hasn’t it been said that: the lasts are always the firsts!?
The thing, my dearest friends, is, nobody can ever attain balance effectively if he/she is not firmly grounded on a solidly secured foundation. Why is that? It is because we have been grossly damaged by our insecurity problem (due to mistrust) that is the main wound in our growing up years. This insecurity will keep adding up (or multiply) as we move on with our lives unless we do something about it. This insecurity likewise caused us our confusion, isolation, desperation and desolation. It is primarily because of these that the majority of us, unfortunately, chose to get stuck and stagnate, either consciously or unconsciously. To understand further, may I refer you back again to Erik H. Erikson’s theory on Life Stages (please find it in our previous issues).
Romantic love is the feeling that destroys most of us because it is what we consistently long and wish for. The problem is, romantic feelings eventually end (like lust or sexual gratification which actually is but a “three seconds orgasm”) because it is only human nature. What normally happens after it fades away is, the person is faced to choose between these two (2) choices: “look for the same magical feeling again to make him/her high” or “stay in whatever rotten situation he/she is already in”. Romantic love is the cause of man’s folly since time immemorial.
ONLY GOD IS FAITHFUL. “…and surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). Without finding God in us first, which is our divine nature, and establish a good relationship with Him (the purest form of Attachment), we will never find the feeling of calmness and contentment that our every heart desires. Only a person who has found God in himself/herself is truly capable of honest faithfulness. That is the reason why authorities of the Church keep claiming that unfaithfulness happens even in the mind. To remain in our human nature is to be forever-changing. It is very difficult staying there. To decide to stay there we are given only (again) two (2) choices: fleeting happiness or difficulties. Papalit-palit lang ang dalawang ‘yan, depende sa sitwasyong kinakaharap mo at takbo ng utak at laman mo. Both roads lead to hell on Earth. Kaya sa tuwing nagakakamali tayo palagi na lang ang alibi natin ay: tao lang po ako.
When we decide to put God first in our life and do all the necessary effort and fervent prayers to be attached to Him no matter, we are little by little transformed and empowered to live our life for us, not for anybody. This is God’s main purpose for giving us our life because He only wants us to be happy so we can glorify Him. In glorifying God, by living a happy, decent and contented life, we effectively evangelize – or tell the people (simply by showing them without intent) who and what God is in human form. At saka lang natin masasabing: tao po ako!
Jesus came here to show us exactly that. It was not only for Him to save us, although it was definitely His greatest Mission. If we have chosen and called ourselves Christians will it not follow then that our divine mission is that of Jesus Christ also? To rightfully relive what He has shown us?
Yes, we will, of course, be human for as long as we live. This we must accept also. Kasi there is a nag-iisang Jesus Christ lang na inatasan ng ating Father God to save the world. That is why only He is sinless. (Tayo, palagi na lang skinless – wala’ng pinagkaiba sa ahas na palagi na lang nagpapalit ng balat. huhuhu) Unlike Him, all of us are bound to commit mistakes. We will always fall short. But our acceptance of this fact is very imperative – a necessary step for our self-awareness. When we are aware of fully ourselves, including our weaknesses (which unmake us), we will live our life only according to the best interest along God’s plans for us, because that is where our best interest also lies. This is what others call, “proper alignment of our personality and soul”.
When we decide to find the wrong attachment that the world offers us, we will ultimately settle into inexplicable loneliness and deep pain or depression because whatever this world offers is, yes, “temporary”. Jim Carrey expressed in an interview at the Oprah Winfrey Show: “I wish everybody becomes rich and famous, so that they will know that it is not the answer.”
Our self-denial makes us blasphemous, and thus, hypocrite people in both languages, verbal and non-verbal. Without being judgmental, much less condemning, I just would like to stress that, for as long as we do not have Jesus in our individual lives we will never ever know the sacredness of our traditions. Our human nature will continue to dictate and overtake us. We will continue to make impressions only. We will consider the world a stage where everything we do is for a show.
I see so much promise in my Ate though. So much hope when she told me that for a while already she has been with a religious group to seek God further through their help. Most importantly, she said she has not allowed her boyfriend to mess up with her own decisions, especially concerning her very own dear life. This is good enough.
See you when I see you again, friends…God bless everyone.
“Life is meant for balance. Without balance we cannot find our purpose. The purpose of life enables us to live with meaning. For us, Catholics, we find that particular purpose in our deep relationship with our Almighty Father through His Son Jesus Christ (and Jesus’ Mother Mary for whom we must pay tribute to for giving in fully, in complete obedience, to our Almighty Father’s Will), through the Holy Rosary and Eucharistic Celebration or Holy Mass.
When we look really closely and reflect, we see the balance in the life of Jesus Christ. In associating our life with Jesus we realize that life does not only consist of pains and sufferings (Sorrowful Mystery) but happiness (Joyful Mystery) as well. When we have accepted and let God enter our heart (Light Mystery) He shows us the way – which is repentance and forgiveness – we then see Hope in Him and receive graces through His loving mercy (Glorious Mystery) and we feel alive again, as if resurrected from the dead.
Pope John Paul II, to whom God entrusted the introduction and incorporation of the Light Mystery in our Holy Rosary, always called for balance (I saw the video re-runs of His Holiness at the EWTN Channel). Reflecting on Light Mystery I was astounded to find out that: it is only through our Baptism (of Fire) that we finally see our Miracles. When we see and thus, appreciate these miracles we are inspired to Proclaim God’s Kingdom (via testimonies as we experienced God’s presence in our life) caused by our joyfulness and indescribable feeling of the divine discovery.
The proclamation that we do will effect in us subtle or even abrupt inward transformation (Transfiguration), through our consistent efforts and consistent prayers because we cannot do everything in our power. To be able to sustain this inward feeling of transformation, which we must guard against all odds because it is our only hope for salvation, we continuously guard our self by participating (not only attending) Jesus Christ’s Instituted Holy Eucharist or Holy Mass – our highest form of prayer. Amen.”
Scanning my old files to de-clutter my drawers, I stumbled unto this one I reflected above. As I go into outpouring my sentiment for this issue, I sincerely pray that I may not hurt anybody as I do not have the intention to. But should in case I will, as it is in every human nature to get hurt because of guilt due to unhealed wound/s, I humbly ask for forgiveness for my unintended “misgiving”.
On that GODly Wednesday, I attended a funeral mass for the burial of Atty. & Mrs. Noel S. Sermense’s youngest son (the handsomest angel of God, in life form – and even in death – I ever laid my eyes on!). I was seated beside my “Ate” (the term I fondly use to call my dearest girl-friends, who are chronologically older than I am, out of love and respect for them). After the rite, we got to ask each other of our private lives for purposes maybe of lightening the heavy feeling associated with the event.
She told me she is fine naman and is still in a relationship with her boyfriend even if she is not experiencing the feelings for him anymore. She enthused further that it is only because her mother is preventing her to break off with the boyfriend that is probably keeping the relationship intact. I find that to be a perfect pity, pathetic.
I don’t know how it is with you, friends, but for me, BALANCE IS THE ONLY WAY TO FIND HEAVEN ON EARTH. You see, what transpired between my Ate and I made me travel back to the time when the totality of my being was in search for that magic most people translate as “feelings”…and now I realized that that time was plain crazy!
The association of love to feelings alone is not definitely IT, my friends. Read these scientific findings closely and I hope you get to think/reflect seriously and deeply after reading.
“Ms. Helen Fisher, a U.S. Anthropologist and the author of the book WHY WE LOVE, exposed her findings that there are neuro-chemical triggers or stimulants which cause us the urge to mate. She offered the following information:
LUST – the desire for sexual gratification is caused by the stimulants TESTOSTERONE;
ROMANTIC LOVE – the state of feeling high is caused by the stimulants called
DOPAMINE and SEROTONIN; and
ATTACHMENT – the feeling of calmness and contentment from a relationship comes
from the stimulants OXYTOCIN and VASOPRESSIN.
If you still remember my presentation regarding the three (3) natures of man (animal, human, and divine) and connect these facts to the findings of Ms. Fisher, you are going to find out perfectly well that the most important of all is situated, described and considered the least because it is the last. But, alas, hasn’t it been said that: the lasts are always the firsts!?
The thing, my dearest friends, is, nobody can ever attain balance effectively if he/she is not firmly grounded on a solidly secured foundation. Why is that? It is because we have been grossly damaged by our insecurity problem (due to mistrust) that is the main wound in our growing up years. This insecurity will keep adding up (or multiply) as we move on with our lives unless we do something about it. This insecurity likewise caused us our confusion, isolation, desperation and desolation. It is primarily because of these that the majority of us, unfortunately, chose to get stuck and stagnate, either consciously or unconsciously. To understand further, may I refer you back again to Erik H. Erikson’s theory on Life Stages (please find it in our previous issues).
Romantic love is the feeling that destroys most of us because it is what we consistently long and wish for. The problem is, romantic feelings eventually end (like lust or sexual gratification which actually is but a “three seconds orgasm”) because it is only human nature. What normally happens after it fades away is, the person is faced to choose between these two (2) choices: “look for the same magical feeling again to make him/her high” or “stay in whatever rotten situation he/she is already in”. Romantic love is the cause of man’s folly since time immemorial.
ONLY GOD IS FAITHFUL. “…and surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). Without finding God in us first, which is our divine nature, and establish a good relationship with Him (the purest form of Attachment), we will never find the feeling of calmness and contentment that our every heart desires. Only a person who has found God in himself/herself is truly capable of honest faithfulness. That is the reason why authorities of the Church keep claiming that unfaithfulness happens even in the mind. To remain in our human nature is to be forever-changing. It is very difficult staying there. To decide to stay there we are given only (again) two (2) choices: fleeting happiness or difficulties. Papalit-palit lang ang dalawang ‘yan, depende sa sitwasyong kinakaharap mo at takbo ng utak at laman mo. Both roads lead to hell on Earth. Kaya sa tuwing nagakakamali tayo palagi na lang ang alibi natin ay: tao lang po ako.
When we decide to put God first in our life and do all the necessary effort and fervent prayers to be attached to Him no matter, we are little by little transformed and empowered to live our life for us, not for anybody. This is God’s main purpose for giving us our life because He only wants us to be happy so we can glorify Him. In glorifying God, by living a happy, decent and contented life, we effectively evangelize – or tell the people (simply by showing them without intent) who and what God is in human form. At saka lang natin masasabing: tao po ako!
Jesus came here to show us exactly that. It was not only for Him to save us, although it was definitely His greatest Mission. If we have chosen and called ourselves Christians will it not follow then that our divine mission is that of Jesus Christ also? To rightfully relive what He has shown us?
Yes, we will, of course, be human for as long as we live. This we must accept also. Kasi there is a nag-iisang Jesus Christ lang na inatasan ng ating Father God to save the world. That is why only He is sinless. (Tayo, palagi na lang skinless – wala’ng pinagkaiba sa ahas na palagi na lang nagpapalit ng balat. huhuhu) Unlike Him, all of us are bound to commit mistakes. We will always fall short. But our acceptance of this fact is very imperative – a necessary step for our self-awareness. When we are aware of fully ourselves, including our weaknesses (which unmake us), we will live our life only according to the best interest along God’s plans for us, because that is where our best interest also lies. This is what others call, “proper alignment of our personality and soul”.
When we decide to find the wrong attachment that the world offers us, we will ultimately settle into inexplicable loneliness and deep pain or depression because whatever this world offers is, yes, “temporary”. Jim Carrey expressed in an interview at the Oprah Winfrey Show: “I wish everybody becomes rich and famous, so that they will know that it is not the answer.”
Our self-denial makes us blasphemous, and thus, hypocrite people in both languages, verbal and non-verbal. Without being judgmental, much less condemning, I just would like to stress that, for as long as we do not have Jesus in our individual lives we will never ever know the sacredness of our traditions. Our human nature will continue to dictate and overtake us. We will continue to make impressions only. We will consider the world a stage where everything we do is for a show.
I see so much promise in my Ate though. So much hope when she told me that for a while already she has been with a religious group to seek God further through their help. Most importantly, she said she has not allowed her boyfriend to mess up with her own decisions, especially concerning her very own dear life. This is good enough.
See you when I see you again, friends…God bless everyone.
THE RAREST GEM
My eldest son, who is a little too short on patience, woke up on the wrong side of his bed (as in, he was fuming mad at me) hearing my uncontrollable sobs one particular early Saturday morning. That is how he shows you he actually cares for you. But maybe because I am his mother who knows him too well (I know where he got that, too), I am not at all affected with his kind of loving. Kaloka!
I know he will, one day, refine his loving. My heart tells me that. Nobody changes overnight. Pag nangyari ‘yan sa sinuman, matakot kayo. You have all the reasons to doubt. The person is up to something sometime. At pagdating ng araw na ‘yan, consider yourself dead meat!
Back to my eldest son, when I finally got the right timing, to talk to him about the reason for my crying, I was glad he understood naman. Although it was not without slight disagreements between us before we both really settled the matter. I thanked God again for all of the experiences He let me during my younger years… or I would have found it hard to cope every time I am faced with difficult situations with my stewardship.
Unchangingly I maintain my conviction that the greatest indeed that God gave is friendship! To quote Muhammad Ali: “Friendship is the greatest in the world. It is not something you learned in school. And if you haven’t learned anything about friendship, you haven’t learned anything at all.”
It was my contemplation regarding friendship that made me cry hard that morning while I was in the middle of my morning praise and prayer. My weekdays were laden with torment involving two (2) of my dearest friends in our workforce. I was hurt in both un-fateful events because I promised myself that the last thing that I need in this lifetime is a broken relationship. That, if there is any truth to the “reincarnation” concept, I want this to be my last lifetime.
That week, however, proved me how difficult it is to be true to my promise. That when we have come to know what love really is and how it is to really love, we cannot do away with hurting people sometimes.
People are what and who they are because of numerous interlocking factors. Kaya nga, “gusto kong bumait pero ‘di ko magawa”, sabi ng isang OPM song. And most often, what happens is “they don’t try hard enough”, maybe because they are not also willing to “cry hard enough” first.
It is one natural phenomenon also to not like sufferings and pain. We have been raised either as spoiled brats or we continued holding on to the pains caused by our pasts, unable to forgive and let go. So we became numb. It is this numbing factor we adopted that made us exist na lang, not live anymore.
Friendship is a trusting relationship. When we unconsciously choose to exist only, we also choose to be paranoid, devoid of trust. How on earth can love be present in a friendship without trust? Without honest friendships there is no love between any (2) or more persons. Technically then, this is foul! Technical lang ang friendship na nag-i-exist between you and your supposed friend/s.
When my personal evaluation tells me this, it is high time I keep my distance. I will love you from there na lang – away from you. There is so much to be learned. I have to grow with you if you are my friend. If I don’t, then I will move away. Ganyan ako. Either you leave me or I’ll leave you. Kasi kung patuloy tayong magsasama, di ko alam kung saan tayo pupulutin. Baka sa kangkungan. Joke! Pero seryusli talaga, ayoko kasi dun, e. God intended me for somewhere good I know I deserve. At dun ko lang gusto. I am the Captain of my Ship. I’ll always decide to live my life the way I see it fit.
Praise and all glory to God, every time people say something nice at how my kids grew up I tell them back: “It’s because we both grew up in friendships.” We sometimes fight, but storms are part of a healthy and growing friendship. Friendship or any relationship for that matter, without disagreements is fishy. It is composed of phony people. Between my children and me, we keep learning from one another in our friendship, physically but more spiritually present every time, all the time. The fact that I am their parent does not stand in between us at all. I believe that I have attained my balance, in God’s grace and mercy, and they are fully aware of this. So they know securely well that they can always approach me whether it is a friend, a sweetheart, or a parent they need. Maybe it is also this that made me secure they are not offended every time I call their attention, especially on matters about discipline (sometimes it is I that they discipline also).
In parting, may I reiterate what I’d been saying na paulit-ulit na lang: Be a friend to yourself by resolving all of your issues, so that you can establish honest and rewarding friendships. We are made for friendships and service…nothing more, nothing less.
With all my love, please know that I really care…GOD BLESS U!
I know he will, one day, refine his loving. My heart tells me that. Nobody changes overnight. Pag nangyari ‘yan sa sinuman, matakot kayo. You have all the reasons to doubt. The person is up to something sometime. At pagdating ng araw na ‘yan, consider yourself dead meat!
Back to my eldest son, when I finally got the right timing, to talk to him about the reason for my crying, I was glad he understood naman. Although it was not without slight disagreements between us before we both really settled the matter. I thanked God again for all of the experiences He let me during my younger years… or I would have found it hard to cope every time I am faced with difficult situations with my stewardship.
Unchangingly I maintain my conviction that the greatest indeed that God gave is friendship! To quote Muhammad Ali: “Friendship is the greatest in the world. It is not something you learned in school. And if you haven’t learned anything about friendship, you haven’t learned anything at all.”
It was my contemplation regarding friendship that made me cry hard that morning while I was in the middle of my morning praise and prayer. My weekdays were laden with torment involving two (2) of my dearest friends in our workforce. I was hurt in both un-fateful events because I promised myself that the last thing that I need in this lifetime is a broken relationship. That, if there is any truth to the “reincarnation” concept, I want this to be my last lifetime.
That week, however, proved me how difficult it is to be true to my promise. That when we have come to know what love really is and how it is to really love, we cannot do away with hurting people sometimes.
People are what and who they are because of numerous interlocking factors. Kaya nga, “gusto kong bumait pero ‘di ko magawa”, sabi ng isang OPM song. And most often, what happens is “they don’t try hard enough”, maybe because they are not also willing to “cry hard enough” first.
It is one natural phenomenon also to not like sufferings and pain. We have been raised either as spoiled brats or we continued holding on to the pains caused by our pasts, unable to forgive and let go. So we became numb. It is this numbing factor we adopted that made us exist na lang, not live anymore.
Friendship is a trusting relationship. When we unconsciously choose to exist only, we also choose to be paranoid, devoid of trust. How on earth can love be present in a friendship without trust? Without honest friendships there is no love between any (2) or more persons. Technically then, this is foul! Technical lang ang friendship na nag-i-exist between you and your supposed friend/s.
When my personal evaluation tells me this, it is high time I keep my distance. I will love you from there na lang – away from you. There is so much to be learned. I have to grow with you if you are my friend. If I don’t, then I will move away. Ganyan ako. Either you leave me or I’ll leave you. Kasi kung patuloy tayong magsasama, di ko alam kung saan tayo pupulutin. Baka sa kangkungan. Joke! Pero seryusli talaga, ayoko kasi dun, e. God intended me for somewhere good I know I deserve. At dun ko lang gusto. I am the Captain of my Ship. I’ll always decide to live my life the way I see it fit.
Praise and all glory to God, every time people say something nice at how my kids grew up I tell them back: “It’s because we both grew up in friendships.” We sometimes fight, but storms are part of a healthy and growing friendship. Friendship or any relationship for that matter, without disagreements is fishy. It is composed of phony people. Between my children and me, we keep learning from one another in our friendship, physically but more spiritually present every time, all the time. The fact that I am their parent does not stand in between us at all. I believe that I have attained my balance, in God’s grace and mercy, and they are fully aware of this. So they know securely well that they can always approach me whether it is a friend, a sweetheart, or a parent they need. Maybe it is also this that made me secure they are not offended every time I call their attention, especially on matters about discipline (sometimes it is I that they discipline also).
In parting, may I reiterate what I’d been saying na paulit-ulit na lang: Be a friend to yourself by resolving all of your issues, so that you can establish honest and rewarding friendships. We are made for friendships and service…nothing more, nothing less.
With all my love, please know that I really care…GOD BLESS U!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
“A foot is measured by inches; a road is measured by miles; but a person is measured by his/her smiles.” I happily smiled at this cheerful morning greeting of love from Rev. Fr. Rod San Jose, OFM.
I was happily with a Christian Community before I decided to go on leave because my situation as a single parent demanded it so. While in there, I was able to hear complaints from my co-members regarding the seeming indifference of some of our co-members. By indifference, all they really wanted to mean was that they were allegedly taken for granted by some members, especially in places apart from our getting together as a community, and that they were not afforded even a smile.
My, some people could really get that impossible! I would have honestly liked to blurt in complete disgust and frustration by this kind of narrow-mindedness. Small a complaint as it maybe, but it sure is a sign of immaturity emanating from an insecurity. Did it ever occur to these people that maybe the un-smiley ones they were complaining about are in fact bothered by problems, personal or otherwise? Only the people who have developed empathy have the capability to make a difference unwaveringly. And there are yet a few of them.
Sympathy is already difficult for some people to cultivate. And although it could be easier for some, it won’t still suffice. The reality is, people are so hungry for love they seek hungrily to be always recognized. The sad thing is, they do not know that their complaining about other people is a manifestation of the complaint against their own self.
Watch out, friends, because when you are complaining about others, chances are great that you are complaining about yourself. A person who has learned a healthy self-love has already accepted everything there is about him/her self. And because he/she has done so, he/she is also capable of accepting and loving others. Kaya dapat muna pansinin natin ang sarili natin.
This is not about vanity. Vanity is a totally unhealthy self-love. It is all about proving. We’re talking, and are concerned more, about improving. Vanity has motives underneath which are basically coming from human desires. This is outrageously dangerous because “desires are the chain that binds us” (quoted from a t-shirt print).
I talked about living Christ in us in our past issues, friends. Now I would like to mention again that it is through this alone where we can learn empathy. When we have learned to be empathic we will be able to see our self in others. When we can see our self in others it won’t be easy for us to neglect anybody anymore. There will always be smiles on our faces as we will always be conscious of the fact that we are anyone who we see and meet, and talk to, and get together with, and so on, and so forth.
Live Christ in you, dearest friends, and you will not miss out on anybody. And you will not care if you will be missed out by anybody anymore because you will already have a very understanding heart that truly cares. But remember that only with God’s help can you be. Your effort is enough. But persistent prayer must go along with your effort.
Remember that, we can only make a difference in this cruel world by not being indifferent. Need I remind you again that we are all children of God?
Love you always…God bless…!
I was happily with a Christian Community before I decided to go on leave because my situation as a single parent demanded it so. While in there, I was able to hear complaints from my co-members regarding the seeming indifference of some of our co-members. By indifference, all they really wanted to mean was that they were allegedly taken for granted by some members, especially in places apart from our getting together as a community, and that they were not afforded even a smile.
My, some people could really get that impossible! I would have honestly liked to blurt in complete disgust and frustration by this kind of narrow-mindedness. Small a complaint as it maybe, but it sure is a sign of immaturity emanating from an insecurity. Did it ever occur to these people that maybe the un-smiley ones they were complaining about are in fact bothered by problems, personal or otherwise? Only the people who have developed empathy have the capability to make a difference unwaveringly. And there are yet a few of them.
Sympathy is already difficult for some people to cultivate. And although it could be easier for some, it won’t still suffice. The reality is, people are so hungry for love they seek hungrily to be always recognized. The sad thing is, they do not know that their complaining about other people is a manifestation of the complaint against their own self.
Watch out, friends, because when you are complaining about others, chances are great that you are complaining about yourself. A person who has learned a healthy self-love has already accepted everything there is about him/her self. And because he/she has done so, he/she is also capable of accepting and loving others. Kaya dapat muna pansinin natin ang sarili natin.
This is not about vanity. Vanity is a totally unhealthy self-love. It is all about proving. We’re talking, and are concerned more, about improving. Vanity has motives underneath which are basically coming from human desires. This is outrageously dangerous because “desires are the chain that binds us” (quoted from a t-shirt print).
I talked about living Christ in us in our past issues, friends. Now I would like to mention again that it is through this alone where we can learn empathy. When we have learned to be empathic we will be able to see our self in others. When we can see our self in others it won’t be easy for us to neglect anybody anymore. There will always be smiles on our faces as we will always be conscious of the fact that we are anyone who we see and meet, and talk to, and get together with, and so on, and so forth.
Live Christ in you, dearest friends, and you will not miss out on anybody. And you will not care if you will be missed out by anybody anymore because you will already have a very understanding heart that truly cares. But remember that only with God’s help can you be. Your effort is enough. But persistent prayer must go along with your effort.
Remember that, we can only make a difference in this cruel world by not being indifferent. Need I remind you again that we are all children of God?
Love you always…God bless…!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
COMMON SENSE?
Hayden Kho’s sex video scandal with different women overtime became the instant flavor of the month (harinawa’ng di naman ito bumilang ng mga buwan, Diyos ko!) and it’s been annoying to hear people talk about nonsense. Unless we consciously choose and decide to learn from the lessons brought about by the people involved in the scandal we will just be wasting our precious time talking about nonsense.
Jesus said: “let those who have not sinned cast the first stone.” Upon closer scrutiny the truth that we are all sinners is the reason for our talking and having fun about nonsense. And I ask myself: where have all our common sense gone? Our insensibility and insensitivity (both words denote the absence of feelings and emotions) toward our brothers and sisters erased the sense from our common sense. What has been left in us is the common na lang – so we are commonplace, everywhere. That is why it is so easy for us to pick on other people. Look at them more than look at our self.
History keeps repeating itself since nobody knows when. The saddest fact is, we will keep history repeating itself because of our own negligence due to ignorance because we constantly keep our focus elsewhere – to something nonsense. “Everybody needs something to measure his/her life against.” – I learned this from authorities in the field of Psychology. This is where I attribute the veneration of the Saints in the Catholic religion.
In these modern times, however, we need the urgency for living models necessary to mold the moral values of the young, so that they will live according to what is expected of human beings in a civilized world. Hayden Kho was only about 27 or 28 years old when this hullabaloo begun sometime last year. According to Sigmund Freud, a person attains fixation of his/her personality when he/she reaches around these ages. After that, he/she is difficult to change anymore.
Although I am very partial to Freud’s theory, I am more inclined to Carl Jung’s because of his amazing evolutionary theories, because his reference is very limited to what I call “human language”, I saw great opportunity for Hayden’s growth when I read his lengthy story (as told by him) of the matter in the Yes Magazine. Every major mistake that happens in our lives is an awakening call. We must respond to it. The mistake only becomes bigger and complicated when all we do about it is react!
The uncalled for TV appearance of Hayden’s mother is nothing but a reaction (and a blasphemous one at that). It won’t help in any way. It will only worsen the already worst situation. More than anybody in this world, it is the parent/s who must model for their children. Every child in every home grows up watching his/her parents first before his/her exposure to the outside world. The following I took from Leo J. Trese’s book, MANY ARE ONE: “a little child does not learn to deal with life by any process of reasoning, or by theorizing, or consulting a book of directions. The child learns by watching others, especially by watching his (her) parents. They are his (her) pattern. For good or for ill, he (she) will grow up in their image.”
Far from judging Hayden’s mother, I would like to say that there may also be parents who thought that they have offered their children the best that they could muster to the best of their abilities, but found out that the societal pressure (the friends and the environment as a whole) was too much for them to control, finding a perfect “stranger” in their own child in the end.
Life is a mystery. Each must take responsibility of his/her very own self. Outside of our own self, prayer is the best that we can offer. Every participant in every misdeed, lapse of judgment, controversy, or scandal must accept his/her own precipitating participation and CHANGE, by beginning to respect him/her self.
As for us, the spectators, let us acknowledge our sinfulness instead of condemning, and vow to learn from the mistake/s of others. Thank God that we are not in the unfortunate situation.
My prayers for all of us! God bless everyone.
Jesus said: “let those who have not sinned cast the first stone.” Upon closer scrutiny the truth that we are all sinners is the reason for our talking and having fun about nonsense. And I ask myself: where have all our common sense gone? Our insensibility and insensitivity (both words denote the absence of feelings and emotions) toward our brothers and sisters erased the sense from our common sense. What has been left in us is the common na lang – so we are commonplace, everywhere. That is why it is so easy for us to pick on other people. Look at them more than look at our self.
History keeps repeating itself since nobody knows when. The saddest fact is, we will keep history repeating itself because of our own negligence due to ignorance because we constantly keep our focus elsewhere – to something nonsense. “Everybody needs something to measure his/her life against.” – I learned this from authorities in the field of Psychology. This is where I attribute the veneration of the Saints in the Catholic religion.
In these modern times, however, we need the urgency for living models necessary to mold the moral values of the young, so that they will live according to what is expected of human beings in a civilized world. Hayden Kho was only about 27 or 28 years old when this hullabaloo begun sometime last year. According to Sigmund Freud, a person attains fixation of his/her personality when he/she reaches around these ages. After that, he/she is difficult to change anymore.
Although I am very partial to Freud’s theory, I am more inclined to Carl Jung’s because of his amazing evolutionary theories, because his reference is very limited to what I call “human language”, I saw great opportunity for Hayden’s growth when I read his lengthy story (as told by him) of the matter in the Yes Magazine. Every major mistake that happens in our lives is an awakening call. We must respond to it. The mistake only becomes bigger and complicated when all we do about it is react!
The uncalled for TV appearance of Hayden’s mother is nothing but a reaction (and a blasphemous one at that). It won’t help in any way. It will only worsen the already worst situation. More than anybody in this world, it is the parent/s who must model for their children. Every child in every home grows up watching his/her parents first before his/her exposure to the outside world. The following I took from Leo J. Trese’s book, MANY ARE ONE: “a little child does not learn to deal with life by any process of reasoning, or by theorizing, or consulting a book of directions. The child learns by watching others, especially by watching his (her) parents. They are his (her) pattern. For good or for ill, he (she) will grow up in their image.”
Far from judging Hayden’s mother, I would like to say that there may also be parents who thought that they have offered their children the best that they could muster to the best of their abilities, but found out that the societal pressure (the friends and the environment as a whole) was too much for them to control, finding a perfect “stranger” in their own child in the end.
Life is a mystery. Each must take responsibility of his/her very own self. Outside of our own self, prayer is the best that we can offer. Every participant in every misdeed, lapse of judgment, controversy, or scandal must accept his/her own precipitating participation and CHANGE, by beginning to respect him/her self.
As for us, the spectators, let us acknowledge our sinfulness instead of condemning, and vow to learn from the mistake/s of others. Thank God that we are not in the unfortunate situation.
My prayers for all of us! God bless everyone.
LOST IN TRANSLATION
“I have most of all wanted to forget you... I have tried to erase the footprints we’ve made together... I have told myself not to regret having known you… I have chosen to forget your image from my thoughts... I have wrapped myself in silence… But still I remember you... I have walked along lonely stretches just to forget the thoughts of you… I have shed tears thinking of washing away your image from my dreams...from my wishes and hopes...from my songs... And yet in my silence…in my loneliness…I REMEMBER YOU…”
This is a deeply moving and heartbreaking text message my son received not too long ago. I don’t know why but this kept me crying for days and nights. Maybe because I am really an out and out sanguine, a super emotional individual, or it could also be because I can seem to perfectly relate with the texter’s feelings having made the same choice, of forgetting, thirty (30) years ago.
Sometime ago, I wrote about “pathology of love”- which is a sickness a person and only God can cure. Lest this be misunderstood further, may I then explain how we can best get out of this sickness with our pride intact and our joy double.
“Life is a choice” and “Love is a decision” – more than it is a feeling or an emotion. Love, because it is really divine in its truest meaning, must not hurt anybody – either the person who loves or anybody, for that matter. It is for this reason that we hastily make the decision of ‘choosing to forget’ without us knowing the ill effects and grave consequences that lie ahead.
To choose to forget is a self denial (Daniel Goleman, THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SELF DECEPTION). When I did that I was in my adolescent years (it’s mostly when innocent and unsuspecting first loves happen. Adolescence is one of the two (2) most vulnerable stages in human life, psychologically speaking) and I was in my most susceptible but untainted loving stage.
That one false move led me down the dark alleys causing me to hurt many people along the way. For some, choosing to forget may seem to help, especially for the more sacrificing personalities. So they may interpret the decision as a successful coping mechanism, thereby repeating the same strategy over and over again. Until the time when they finally realize that the strategy of forgetting is not working anymore. This time the pain seems most painful to bear.
Love and loving entails responsibility in it. Therefore, it is a must for us to know the difference between LOVING REALISTICALLY from LOVING FOOLISHLY. Loving foolishly is clearly childish, while loving realistically is childlike.
Eric Berne (who I think theorized the PAC – Parent, Adult, Child in us – Theory first, followed by Thomas Harris’ I’M OK, YOU’RE OK), in his book GAMES PEOPLE PLAY, stated that our Child is (naturally) spontaneous, innocent, and loving. Unfortunately, however, because of our ignorance we went through life forgetting the goodness of our Child little by little. Its corroding effect is so great that we grew up to be adults who are mostly at a loss when it comes to love and loving.
We have considerably lost the wonder of our Child unconsciously. That is why we cannot love spontaneously and innocently anymore. In place of our Child’s wonder loving, we like to love with malice and expectations. We always love for whatever motive/s there is. When it becomes unbearable for our Child already (because of our ignorant suppression), pilit siya’ng aalpas, thus, we act and love foolishly – completely childish! Any wonder why so many people go foolish in midlife?
You must have seen Bill Murray’s and Scarlett Johansson’s movie, LOST IN TRANSLATION. That movie, dear friends, is a clear example of loving realistically. We must know our proper values because it must be where our priorities are anchored. Jesus Christ reminded us: “unless you become little children again, you cannot enter the Kingdom of God.” We need to be vulnerable sometimes (if the situation rightly calls for it) to find our Child again because TO LOVE IS THE ULTIMATE MISSION OF THE SOUL (Gary Zukav, Seat of the Soul).
My decision to forget, thirty (30) years ago, was a decision of my Parent-contaminated Adult. Completely unhealthy! Realizing that it was a crazy decision, I decided to love no matter. From then on I moved slowly, inch by inch, and before long, I saw me when I was a kid – naturally sweet and loving.
Our decision to love no matter is likewise a difficult choice but it is very rewarding, as well as emotionally and psychologically freeing in the end. The only prayer we need as an effective tool is: “Your Will be done, Father!” We cannot do everything in our power. We have to rely heavily on God’s power in an absolute trust in His plans for each one of us as Christ promised in Jeremiah 29:11-12.
Love is really enough, believe me. It is our understanding of it that is not. We just must not forget to pray for the one we truly love because despite our capacity to love everybody unconditionally, there is always a special one who holds our heart (as the case maybe).
Submit. Surrender. “Man proposes. God disposes.” Don’t get lost in translation.
Love you dearly, friends…! God bless you.
This is a deeply moving and heartbreaking text message my son received not too long ago. I don’t know why but this kept me crying for days and nights. Maybe because I am really an out and out sanguine, a super emotional individual, or it could also be because I can seem to perfectly relate with the texter’s feelings having made the same choice, of forgetting, thirty (30) years ago.
Sometime ago, I wrote about “pathology of love”- which is a sickness a person and only God can cure. Lest this be misunderstood further, may I then explain how we can best get out of this sickness with our pride intact and our joy double.
“Life is a choice” and “Love is a decision” – more than it is a feeling or an emotion. Love, because it is really divine in its truest meaning, must not hurt anybody – either the person who loves or anybody, for that matter. It is for this reason that we hastily make the decision of ‘choosing to forget’ without us knowing the ill effects and grave consequences that lie ahead.
To choose to forget is a self denial (Daniel Goleman, THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SELF DECEPTION). When I did that I was in my adolescent years (it’s mostly when innocent and unsuspecting first loves happen. Adolescence is one of the two (2) most vulnerable stages in human life, psychologically speaking) and I was in my most susceptible but untainted loving stage.
That one false move led me down the dark alleys causing me to hurt many people along the way. For some, choosing to forget may seem to help, especially for the more sacrificing personalities. So they may interpret the decision as a successful coping mechanism, thereby repeating the same strategy over and over again. Until the time when they finally realize that the strategy of forgetting is not working anymore. This time the pain seems most painful to bear.
Love and loving entails responsibility in it. Therefore, it is a must for us to know the difference between LOVING REALISTICALLY from LOVING FOOLISHLY. Loving foolishly is clearly childish, while loving realistically is childlike.
Eric Berne (who I think theorized the PAC – Parent, Adult, Child in us – Theory first, followed by Thomas Harris’ I’M OK, YOU’RE OK), in his book GAMES PEOPLE PLAY, stated that our Child is (naturally) spontaneous, innocent, and loving. Unfortunately, however, because of our ignorance we went through life forgetting the goodness of our Child little by little. Its corroding effect is so great that we grew up to be adults who are mostly at a loss when it comes to love and loving.
We have considerably lost the wonder of our Child unconsciously. That is why we cannot love spontaneously and innocently anymore. In place of our Child’s wonder loving, we like to love with malice and expectations. We always love for whatever motive/s there is. When it becomes unbearable for our Child already (because of our ignorant suppression), pilit siya’ng aalpas, thus, we act and love foolishly – completely childish! Any wonder why so many people go foolish in midlife?
You must have seen Bill Murray’s and Scarlett Johansson’s movie, LOST IN TRANSLATION. That movie, dear friends, is a clear example of loving realistically. We must know our proper values because it must be where our priorities are anchored. Jesus Christ reminded us: “unless you become little children again, you cannot enter the Kingdom of God.” We need to be vulnerable sometimes (if the situation rightly calls for it) to find our Child again because TO LOVE IS THE ULTIMATE MISSION OF THE SOUL (Gary Zukav, Seat of the Soul).
My decision to forget, thirty (30) years ago, was a decision of my Parent-contaminated Adult. Completely unhealthy! Realizing that it was a crazy decision, I decided to love no matter. From then on I moved slowly, inch by inch, and before long, I saw me when I was a kid – naturally sweet and loving.
Our decision to love no matter is likewise a difficult choice but it is very rewarding, as well as emotionally and psychologically freeing in the end. The only prayer we need as an effective tool is: “Your Will be done, Father!” We cannot do everything in our power. We have to rely heavily on God’s power in an absolute trust in His plans for each one of us as Christ promised in Jeremiah 29:11-12.
Love is really enough, believe me. It is our understanding of it that is not. We just must not forget to pray for the one we truly love because despite our capacity to love everybody unconditionally, there is always a special one who holds our heart (as the case maybe).
Submit. Surrender. “Man proposes. God disposes.” Don’t get lost in translation.
Love you dearly, friends…! God bless you.
MY SEARCH FOR THAT “ONE FRIEND”
Blankly staring at the wall in search of something worthwhile to write about, I was suddenly caught in awe when I heard the song “One Friend” playing over the computer while my pretty friend was doing her assignment for the day. Instantaneously my memory went back to my high school days because that was one of my favorite songs way back then.
I sincerely think that all of us are in search for a ‘one true friend’ who fits perfectly well with the song’s description as follows: someone who understands me/ and knows me inside out/ and helps keep me together/ and believes without a doubt that I could move a mountain/ someone to tell it, too.
The foolish thing is, way back then I really thought I found one already. That friend was a real joy even if I seemed to always have butterflies in my stomach every time he was around. It was a puzzle I did not so much mind because I was overwhelmingly happy every time anyways, I thought.
Then one day he walked out on our friendship. I did not know why then and I still do not know now. I guess I will never know even in the coming days. Sad, but his banishing into thin air without notice seemed to me the culmination of my pains of abandonment since childhood. I cried all the oceans: the Pacific, Atlantic, etcetera, etcetera.
Until one day, I finally got tired of crying I decided to erase the “friendship of him chapter” in my mind. Wrong decision! I should have forgiven and just consoled myself by drawing probable causes of his leaving instead of pushing things somewhere inside my head. That wrong decision led me to a hardened heart. The worst thing is, it created a lacuna – the blind spot we unconsciously create in our minds (please refer to THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SELF DECEPTION by Daniel Goleman) – in me.
Nothing was right since then. I was definitely badly affected by my wrong decision. I got what I deserved. Life is like that pretty much. One false move and…wham! Diri la domino effect an nahinanabo, may rippling effect pa gud. Absolute natural law: what goes around, comes around. Nobody runs away from it.
I wrote this during the time when the teleserye “Sana Maulit Muli” was airing on Channel 2. (Yes, I was also baduy then. At paminsan-minsan I’d like to be baduy pa rin.) My kids were wondering why I was not at all interested viewing it. Fact is, when Channel 2 was yet airing its trailer I found myself crying always.
Labot la gud man san kamatuuran nga OA ak, I fully understood as well the reason for my uncontrollable emotions. You see, when we leave the gates open there will always be ghosts to haunt us until we are given the opportunity to close them finally. In God’s time that opportunity will come. He promised that (see Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). In the meantime, we wait patiently while doing what must be done – His Will. And should in case no opportunity of that sort happens, we rest in complete trust that it is also His Will. We do not question God.
Maybe the only thing important in life is for me to be guided through with the philosophy that “the past is behind me; the present is now to be attended to; and the future is in God’s hands”.
My love and deep gratitude san iyo pag-upod san akon ka-OA-han. God bless us!
I sincerely think that all of us are in search for a ‘one true friend’ who fits perfectly well with the song’s description as follows: someone who understands me/ and knows me inside out/ and helps keep me together/ and believes without a doubt that I could move a mountain/ someone to tell it, too.
The foolish thing is, way back then I really thought I found one already. That friend was a real joy even if I seemed to always have butterflies in my stomach every time he was around. It was a puzzle I did not so much mind because I was overwhelmingly happy every time anyways, I thought.
Then one day he walked out on our friendship. I did not know why then and I still do not know now. I guess I will never know even in the coming days. Sad, but his banishing into thin air without notice seemed to me the culmination of my pains of abandonment since childhood. I cried all the oceans: the Pacific, Atlantic, etcetera, etcetera.
Until one day, I finally got tired of crying I decided to erase the “friendship of him chapter” in my mind. Wrong decision! I should have forgiven and just consoled myself by drawing probable causes of his leaving instead of pushing things somewhere inside my head. That wrong decision led me to a hardened heart. The worst thing is, it created a lacuna – the blind spot we unconsciously create in our minds (please refer to THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SELF DECEPTION by Daniel Goleman) – in me.
Nothing was right since then. I was definitely badly affected by my wrong decision. I got what I deserved. Life is like that pretty much. One false move and…wham! Diri la domino effect an nahinanabo, may rippling effect pa gud. Absolute natural law: what goes around, comes around. Nobody runs away from it.
I wrote this during the time when the teleserye “Sana Maulit Muli” was airing on Channel 2. (Yes, I was also baduy then. At paminsan-minsan I’d like to be baduy pa rin.) My kids were wondering why I was not at all interested viewing it. Fact is, when Channel 2 was yet airing its trailer I found myself crying always.
Labot la gud man san kamatuuran nga OA ak, I fully understood as well the reason for my uncontrollable emotions. You see, when we leave the gates open there will always be ghosts to haunt us until we are given the opportunity to close them finally. In God’s time that opportunity will come. He promised that (see Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). In the meantime, we wait patiently while doing what must be done – His Will. And should in case no opportunity of that sort happens, we rest in complete trust that it is also His Will. We do not question God.
Maybe the only thing important in life is for me to be guided through with the philosophy that “the past is behind me; the present is now to be attended to; and the future is in God’s hands”.
My love and deep gratitude san iyo pag-upod san akon ka-OA-han. God bless us!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
A MOTHER’S LOVE
By the year’s end I found myself running out of books to read anymore. So I prayed, “Father, I hope I could find me some as You very well know I abhor getting bored.” True to His promise (ask and it shall be given), as I arrived home from the first Sunday, of the following year, evening mass at our Cathedral, I was gladly surprised a bundle of books was waiting for me delivered, according to my son, by an unknown young man. As I excitedly opened the gift, I found a short but very touching letter from my good friend some years back, I’ve lost touch with for a good number of years already.
The following story I decided to reprint not only because I am an avid fan of Carl Jung but more because I strongly feel that there could be no greater love than that of a mother’s. I culled this from the book, SMALL MIRACLES OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP – Remarkable Coincidences of Warmth and Devotion.
In one of his books, the eminent psychiatrist Carl Jung relates the following story:
During the Second World War, American soldiers were stationed on one of the Pacific Islands preparing for an offensive attack against Japan.
Late one night an American soldier named Johnny was resting inside his tent, when, inexplicably, he heard his mother’s familiar and beloved voice calling him urgently: “Johnny! Johnny!”
She sounded frantic.
Johnny chuckled to himself. His own mother was actually many thousands of miles away in the United States, and obviously a bored soldier was mischievously playing a trick on him by imitating his mother’s voice. But who that soldier was and how he had gotten his mother’s voice down so pat, he didn’t know. No one on the base had ever met his mother before; how could someone mimic her voice so convincingly?
Curious and perplexed, Johnny rose from his cot and went out into the dark night to find the man who had pulled the prank.
Johnny expected to find the prankster somewhere nearby, laughing uproariously, but to his amazement, there was no one standing around in the immediate vicinity or the surrounding area.
Johnny was a tenacious sort who didn’t easily give up. He also didn’t like being duped. So he wandered far away from his tent, determined to track down the perpetrator of the practical joke. But everyone on the base seemed to be sleeping soundly, and no one was up and about.
After his investigations proved fruitless, Johnny finally gave up the hunt and returned to his tent. But where the tent had stood only minutes before, there now loomed a giant, smoking crater instead.
During Johnny’s absence, Japanese mortar shells had landed directly onto the spot where the tent had been situated. All the soldiers inside the tent had been killed instantly. Johnny’s life had been saved by the mysterious prankster.
Several months later, Johnny returned to the safe harbor of the United States and the warm embrace of his mother’s arms. As he recounted to his mother the dramatic tale of his narrow escape, she shared with him a story of her own.
On that fateful night in the Pacific when Johnny had heard his mother’s voice calling him, his mother, asleep in Oklahoma at the exact same time, had had a powerful dream. In the dream, her son’s tent was being bombarded by mortar shells. The dream seemed so real she screamed out in her sleep: “Johnny! Johnny!” Her shrieks did not abate until her husband roused her from the nightmare in which she was entrapped.
Her husband tried to calm her – repeating over and over again, “it’s a dream, only a dream.” – and her screaming finally stopped.
Mysteriously, the voice of the mother had traveled directly to the ears of her son, thousands of miles away, and saved his life.
“Far louder than anything we can measure are the sound waves transmitted by a mother’s love.”
My love to every mother, and fathers who are more mothers, out there! Some time again, dearest friends. God bless…!
The following story I decided to reprint not only because I am an avid fan of Carl Jung but more because I strongly feel that there could be no greater love than that of a mother’s. I culled this from the book, SMALL MIRACLES OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP – Remarkable Coincidences of Warmth and Devotion.
In one of his books, the eminent psychiatrist Carl Jung relates the following story:
During the Second World War, American soldiers were stationed on one of the Pacific Islands preparing for an offensive attack against Japan.
Late one night an American soldier named Johnny was resting inside his tent, when, inexplicably, he heard his mother’s familiar and beloved voice calling him urgently: “Johnny! Johnny!”
She sounded frantic.
Johnny chuckled to himself. His own mother was actually many thousands of miles away in the United States, and obviously a bored soldier was mischievously playing a trick on him by imitating his mother’s voice. But who that soldier was and how he had gotten his mother’s voice down so pat, he didn’t know. No one on the base had ever met his mother before; how could someone mimic her voice so convincingly?
Curious and perplexed, Johnny rose from his cot and went out into the dark night to find the man who had pulled the prank.
Johnny expected to find the prankster somewhere nearby, laughing uproariously, but to his amazement, there was no one standing around in the immediate vicinity or the surrounding area.
Johnny was a tenacious sort who didn’t easily give up. He also didn’t like being duped. So he wandered far away from his tent, determined to track down the perpetrator of the practical joke. But everyone on the base seemed to be sleeping soundly, and no one was up and about.
After his investigations proved fruitless, Johnny finally gave up the hunt and returned to his tent. But where the tent had stood only minutes before, there now loomed a giant, smoking crater instead.
During Johnny’s absence, Japanese mortar shells had landed directly onto the spot where the tent had been situated. All the soldiers inside the tent had been killed instantly. Johnny’s life had been saved by the mysterious prankster.
Several months later, Johnny returned to the safe harbor of the United States and the warm embrace of his mother’s arms. As he recounted to his mother the dramatic tale of his narrow escape, she shared with him a story of her own.
On that fateful night in the Pacific when Johnny had heard his mother’s voice calling him, his mother, asleep in Oklahoma at the exact same time, had had a powerful dream. In the dream, her son’s tent was being bombarded by mortar shells. The dream seemed so real she screamed out in her sleep: “Johnny! Johnny!” Her shrieks did not abate until her husband roused her from the nightmare in which she was entrapped.
Her husband tried to calm her – repeating over and over again, “it’s a dream, only a dream.” – and her screaming finally stopped.
Mysteriously, the voice of the mother had traveled directly to the ears of her son, thousands of miles away, and saved his life.
“Far louder than anything we can measure are the sound waves transmitted by a mother’s love.”
My love to every mother, and fathers who are more mothers, out there! Some time again, dearest friends. God bless…!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
THIS CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE (OR IS IT?)
When Rev. Dennis Espiritu, Vocation Director for the St. Vincent de Paul College Seminary and one of my most respected priest-friends, requested me to take over his class while he was on his U.S. trip, I was euphoric. I always find extreme fulfillment in chances/opportunities to contribute in shaping or redirecting the minds especially of the young. SALAMAT PO URAURA, PADRE!
Part of the introductory basics I often utilize, not only as part of rapport-establishment but more as diagnostic “ek-ek” (calling it a “test” is a stressor), is my informal “chit-chat” with the students. True to my expectation, because it has always been in any adolescent or young adults’ classes I had, the most bothersome dilemma these kids are facing is about LOVE. I am always happy with such a finding since, to me, this is a manifestation of honesty/sincerity which is a very good indication of the students’ willingness to learn. This gives me the excitement on the prospects that we can greatly learn from one another.
The following, then, is my theoretical explanation to WHAT LOVE IS (I pray you can closely follow through and get to understand me, especially if you are in the same situation). First, let me get you back again to one of our papers’ past issues where I mentioned about our three (3) natures, as a human being, namely: animal nature; human nature; and divine nature.
Love is defined as a “FLESH thing” in our animal nature. It is so because what cause us to love are our senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch). In our human nature, love is defined as a “ROMANTIC thing”. Our basic drive is either our emotions/feelings (especially for the right-brained people) or whatever motive/end (mostly for those who are left-brained) there is. Thus, this love is primarily composed of expectations such as reciprocation and the like. Because of our brokenness, which has been overlooked for so long, our human love becomes either demanding or depleting, or both, as time goes on. This makes love and loving difficult. It is even made more difficult by our seven (7) capital sins. Clearly then, both our animal and human natures are the main reasons why we are LOST IN LOVE.
Our ONLY REDEEMING FACTOR is our Divine nature, for it is the fulfillment of Jesus Christ’s promise: to be in each and every one of us! Love in our divine nature is defined as an “UNCONDITIONAL thing”. It does not need anything. When a person has already reached his/her level of divinity, he/she is already capable of loving no matter! No conditions set, no limits. No if’s, no but’s. His/Her love is universal. It knows no bounds. Its appropriate definition of love is that of Antoine De Saint-Exupery’s (The Little Prince) which says: LOVE DOES NOT CONSISTS IN GAZING AT EACH OTHER; IT IS IN LOOKING TOWARD THE SAME DIRECTION.
Love in its truest sense means PURITY. Purity happens in our divine nature alone. Unless we align our way of life (beginning with our thoughts) by way of hard, persistent prayers and hard work (through constant self-discipline) we can never get there. Our determination to do these consistently will lead us slowly, but surely, to divine love and loving. Strive hard because it is the only way to find “heaven on earth”.
We really have much to realize when it comes to this “little” (?) thing called LOVE. Or we go crazy! The checklist for a divine love can be found in 1Corinthians 13:4-7 of our Holy Bible. I hope you will find the time to read it so you can check yourselves out, dearest friends, for you to realize just where you are situated at the moment. Pray for
God’s grace and mercy, for you to take off, properly, and finally reach where you are actually headed – according to His plans for you.
My love and prayers… God bless…!
Part of the introductory basics I often utilize, not only as part of rapport-establishment but more as diagnostic “ek-ek” (calling it a “test” is a stressor), is my informal “chit-chat” with the students. True to my expectation, because it has always been in any adolescent or young adults’ classes I had, the most bothersome dilemma these kids are facing is about LOVE. I am always happy with such a finding since, to me, this is a manifestation of honesty/sincerity which is a very good indication of the students’ willingness to learn. This gives me the excitement on the prospects that we can greatly learn from one another.
The following, then, is my theoretical explanation to WHAT LOVE IS (I pray you can closely follow through and get to understand me, especially if you are in the same situation). First, let me get you back again to one of our papers’ past issues where I mentioned about our three (3) natures, as a human being, namely: animal nature; human nature; and divine nature.
Love is defined as a “FLESH thing” in our animal nature. It is so because what cause us to love are our senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch). In our human nature, love is defined as a “ROMANTIC thing”. Our basic drive is either our emotions/feelings (especially for the right-brained people) or whatever motive/end (mostly for those who are left-brained) there is. Thus, this love is primarily composed of expectations such as reciprocation and the like. Because of our brokenness, which has been overlooked for so long, our human love becomes either demanding or depleting, or both, as time goes on. This makes love and loving difficult. It is even made more difficult by our seven (7) capital sins. Clearly then, both our animal and human natures are the main reasons why we are LOST IN LOVE.
Our ONLY REDEEMING FACTOR is our Divine nature, for it is the fulfillment of Jesus Christ’s promise: to be in each and every one of us! Love in our divine nature is defined as an “UNCONDITIONAL thing”. It does not need anything. When a person has already reached his/her level of divinity, he/she is already capable of loving no matter! No conditions set, no limits. No if’s, no but’s. His/Her love is universal. It knows no bounds. Its appropriate definition of love is that of Antoine De Saint-Exupery’s (The Little Prince) which says: LOVE DOES NOT CONSISTS IN GAZING AT EACH OTHER; IT IS IN LOOKING TOWARD THE SAME DIRECTION.
Love in its truest sense means PURITY. Purity happens in our divine nature alone. Unless we align our way of life (beginning with our thoughts) by way of hard, persistent prayers and hard work (through constant self-discipline) we can never get there. Our determination to do these consistently will lead us slowly, but surely, to divine love and loving. Strive hard because it is the only way to find “heaven on earth”.
We really have much to realize when it comes to this “little” (?) thing called LOVE. Or we go crazy! The checklist for a divine love can be found in 1Corinthians 13:4-7 of our Holy Bible. I hope you will find the time to read it so you can check yourselves out, dearest friends, for you to realize just where you are situated at the moment. Pray for
God’s grace and mercy, for you to take off, properly, and finally reach where you are actually headed – according to His plans for you.
My love and prayers… God bless…!
FINDING OUR WAY BACK INTO LOVE
For the first time I saw a music video of Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore singing the song “Way Back Into Love”, which is the theme song for their movie, Music and Lyrics. With deep fascination I listened and paid particular attention to its lyrics. Ang ganda! Exactly tells of what is happening to us all – so lost in love na.
Shortly after the song ended I was transported back in time when my good lady friend, who, after her marriage failure, fell in love for the second time and was already hopeful, described to me her hurt following unexpected turn of events (the supposed-boyfriend “dropped her for dead” allegedly because he cannot endure the pain of waiting). She found out later that there was pala actually a “third party” involved. The j***!
The best that I could do to perhaps ease her pain was to tell her in assurance that she is so loved by God she was spared from such a confused person because had she gotten hitched again, their ending would have exactly been the same as her first marriage failure - especially because the boyfriend, according to her, came from numerous failed marriages already. He was a foreigner.
Ganyan ang buhay. We keep repeating the same mistakes many times over until we really learn the lessons hidden beneath. Now she is back as she had been before, but she tells me she is sure it will be brief this time around. Mabuti naman.
When we unconsciously decide to remain cowards to face the fact that true love involves a hell lot of pains, we are definitely going to end up as losers. Winning is not necessarily ending up with someone in our life to grow old together with. Life is all about friendships and service. And love is not exclusive (M. Scott Peck, THE DIFFERENT DRUM).
Gary Zukav, in his book SEAT OF THE SOUL, tells us that when we can find something worth doing and doesn’t tire us, that is our life purpose. But finding our life purpose entails processes with God as the starting point. Because God is love, and we are already so lost in love, we must be brave to face the pain to find love back again. We have to check inside us honestly to find out baka naman what we have are excess baggage pala.
Starting all over again with God and holding on to Him no matter what will definitely lead us to find our real life purpose. If I love you and you love me, it does not matter where we are situated individually. You are there and I am here. The important thing is, WE ARE DOING EVERYTHING FOR GOD’S GREATER GLORY.
There is so much to be done about. We must get out of our comfort zones and be strong enough to change for the better to make our world a better place to live in because meron tayong nag-iisang Earth lang. Again, unless we learn to love ourselves we cannot love others. When we cannot love others it is much more impossible to love our planet Earth.
Love you everyone! God bless us.
Shortly after the song ended I was transported back in time when my good lady friend, who, after her marriage failure, fell in love for the second time and was already hopeful, described to me her hurt following unexpected turn of events (the supposed-boyfriend “dropped her for dead” allegedly because he cannot endure the pain of waiting). She found out later that there was pala actually a “third party” involved. The j***!
The best that I could do to perhaps ease her pain was to tell her in assurance that she is so loved by God she was spared from such a confused person because had she gotten hitched again, their ending would have exactly been the same as her first marriage failure - especially because the boyfriend, according to her, came from numerous failed marriages already. He was a foreigner.
Ganyan ang buhay. We keep repeating the same mistakes many times over until we really learn the lessons hidden beneath. Now she is back as she had been before, but she tells me she is sure it will be brief this time around. Mabuti naman.
When we unconsciously decide to remain cowards to face the fact that true love involves a hell lot of pains, we are definitely going to end up as losers. Winning is not necessarily ending up with someone in our life to grow old together with. Life is all about friendships and service. And love is not exclusive (M. Scott Peck, THE DIFFERENT DRUM).
Gary Zukav, in his book SEAT OF THE SOUL, tells us that when we can find something worth doing and doesn’t tire us, that is our life purpose. But finding our life purpose entails processes with God as the starting point. Because God is love, and we are already so lost in love, we must be brave to face the pain to find love back again. We have to check inside us honestly to find out baka naman what we have are excess baggage pala.
Starting all over again with God and holding on to Him no matter what will definitely lead us to find our real life purpose. If I love you and you love me, it does not matter where we are situated individually. You are there and I am here. The important thing is, WE ARE DOING EVERYTHING FOR GOD’S GREATER GLORY.
There is so much to be done about. We must get out of our comfort zones and be strong enough to change for the better to make our world a better place to live in because meron tayong nag-iisang Earth lang. Again, unless we learn to love ourselves we cannot love others. When we cannot love others it is much more impossible to love our planet Earth.
Love you everyone! God bless us.
THE QUEST FOR A “CULTURE OF LOVE”
(I wrote this last February.)
It is Love month and love is in the air again. It is specifically the time of the year when my yearning for a blue rose is very strong, nearly overpowering. I know that one day it’s going to happen…in my dreams! Freud said: “dreams are the fulfillment of our wishes.” And I believe that.
Let’s talk things seriously over now. I was able to listen, at EWTN channel, to an impressive priest discussing about the so-called “culture of death”, which the main focal point was the discouragement of abortion. It is a call of the time in the western world because abortion has been considered a normal tendency for a time already, and made even legal in many other countries.
When I got to think about this very sad culture after that show, I thought that abortion is but one grave result of the absence of the opposite culture, the “culture of love”. Every waking moment of our life we see and commit murder, with or without intent. We are practically living in the midst of humans exercising a culture of death. We kill people slowly by the way we treat them, with unkind words, ironic or hostile behavior, or both. These ill behaviors and attitudes are actually our forms of rebellion, but we do not know this factually.
Our ignorance is killing us. It is by our sheer ignorance that we make decisions/choices consciously or unconsciously. There is so much to learn, and so much to unlearn. But we decide to remain lazy and/or prideful. We only read what we like to read, listen to what or who we would like to listen to, and do what only pleases us. We are spoiled-brats! And we are a very discriminating people, to our own disadvantage or destruction (?). We have completely lost our balance.
Rev. Ric Pitogo (Padre Excelente – I consider him) in his homily on a Sunday Mass, touched a little bit on ecological imbalance which, to me, is another one grave result of our exercise of the culture of death. Susan Muto, in her book LATE HAVE I LOVED THEE, stressed three (3) main keys to contentment and happiness which are to: Live Simply; Listen Attentively; and Love Respectfully.
In the book SEAT OF THE SOUL by Gary Zukav, he mentioned about man’s QUEST FOR POWER as the greatest disaster ever to plague the humankind. I believe that it is so. Look at the evidences. We are destroying/killing our planet by our inability or unwillingness to live simply anymore. We got spoiled by our modernization and technologies. We cannot listen attentively because most of the times our thoughts are preoccupied with other thoughts (na most of them are garbage naman. Sorry po!), or that we have not attained confidence yet (because we are either lazy or prideful nga to find out why).
Insecurity factor, sometimes manifested in superior attitudes, blunders effective communication. As a result, it is the more difficult for us to love respectfully because we have not known what really love is!
Looking at all these things more closely makes one want to give up, but we must not. We just probably have to internalize that the cultivation of the culture of love begins within us. That it is done by means of changing our heart and aligning our mind to it. It is called, by Thomas Moore (author of CARE FOR THE SOUL and SOULMATES: Honoring Love and Relationship), “incarnational theology”, which means “living Christ in us”.
Without proper alignment between our heart and mind, though, it is very impossible to live Christ in us. The thing is, other than this, we will simply learn and manifest the techniques and technicalities of saying and doing loving things, courtesy of our cultural dictates (social ethics) which made us hypocrites. This made me wonder how we differ, if at all, from those Pharisees of the olden times.
If, despite the impossibility of it, one day somebody gives me a blue rose in reality, in this lifetime, he/she must have then meant what I exactly mean. “Fat chance, sweetie!”, I must remind me to wake me up and stop dreaming.
But the greatest…is love…for without it “everything we say will be an empty sound” (Leo J. Trese, WISDOM SHALL ENTER)… and everything we do is but a mere action.
HAPPY HEARTS’ DAY EVERYONE! God be with us always.
It is Love month and love is in the air again. It is specifically the time of the year when my yearning for a blue rose is very strong, nearly overpowering. I know that one day it’s going to happen…in my dreams! Freud said: “dreams are the fulfillment of our wishes.” And I believe that.
Let’s talk things seriously over now. I was able to listen, at EWTN channel, to an impressive priest discussing about the so-called “culture of death”, which the main focal point was the discouragement of abortion. It is a call of the time in the western world because abortion has been considered a normal tendency for a time already, and made even legal in many other countries.
When I got to think about this very sad culture after that show, I thought that abortion is but one grave result of the absence of the opposite culture, the “culture of love”. Every waking moment of our life we see and commit murder, with or without intent. We are practically living in the midst of humans exercising a culture of death. We kill people slowly by the way we treat them, with unkind words, ironic or hostile behavior, or both. These ill behaviors and attitudes are actually our forms of rebellion, but we do not know this factually.
Our ignorance is killing us. It is by our sheer ignorance that we make decisions/choices consciously or unconsciously. There is so much to learn, and so much to unlearn. But we decide to remain lazy and/or prideful. We only read what we like to read, listen to what or who we would like to listen to, and do what only pleases us. We are spoiled-brats! And we are a very discriminating people, to our own disadvantage or destruction (?). We have completely lost our balance.
Rev. Ric Pitogo (Padre Excelente – I consider him) in his homily on a Sunday Mass, touched a little bit on ecological imbalance which, to me, is another one grave result of our exercise of the culture of death. Susan Muto, in her book LATE HAVE I LOVED THEE, stressed three (3) main keys to contentment and happiness which are to: Live Simply; Listen Attentively; and Love Respectfully.
In the book SEAT OF THE SOUL by Gary Zukav, he mentioned about man’s QUEST FOR POWER as the greatest disaster ever to plague the humankind. I believe that it is so. Look at the evidences. We are destroying/killing our planet by our inability or unwillingness to live simply anymore. We got spoiled by our modernization and technologies. We cannot listen attentively because most of the times our thoughts are preoccupied with other thoughts (na most of them are garbage naman. Sorry po!), or that we have not attained confidence yet (because we are either lazy or prideful nga to find out why).
Insecurity factor, sometimes manifested in superior attitudes, blunders effective communication. As a result, it is the more difficult for us to love respectfully because we have not known what really love is!
Looking at all these things more closely makes one want to give up, but we must not. We just probably have to internalize that the cultivation of the culture of love begins within us. That it is done by means of changing our heart and aligning our mind to it. It is called, by Thomas Moore (author of CARE FOR THE SOUL and SOULMATES: Honoring Love and Relationship), “incarnational theology”, which means “living Christ in us”.
Without proper alignment between our heart and mind, though, it is very impossible to live Christ in us. The thing is, other than this, we will simply learn and manifest the techniques and technicalities of saying and doing loving things, courtesy of our cultural dictates (social ethics) which made us hypocrites. This made me wonder how we differ, if at all, from those Pharisees of the olden times.
If, despite the impossibility of it, one day somebody gives me a blue rose in reality, in this lifetime, he/she must have then meant what I exactly mean. “Fat chance, sweetie!”, I must remind me to wake me up and stop dreaming.
But the greatest…is love…for without it “everything we say will be an empty sound” (Leo J. Trese, WISDOM SHALL ENTER)… and everything we do is but a mere action.
HAPPY HEARTS’ DAY EVERYONE! God be with us always.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
"WE CANNOT TEACH OLD DOGS NEW TRICKS", BUT...
A few months ago my officemate-friend, who's got a knack for counseling despite the lack of formal education in behavioral science, accidentally earned her way out of the 'routine sked' we usually have in our office. I found the unexpected event worked for her because she has a natural love for people. I could not help but admire her for that. Up until today she still works for our elderly whom we call 'senior citizens'. Good for them.
We talked just once since her transfer or assignment in that place but she educated me a whole lot regarding people of this age. Yes, as a rule of thumb, I am bent to believe a bit that 'we cannot teach old dogs new tricks'. But because I consider myself a strong believer in the innate goodness of people, my mentality (and sentimentality) tells me: who cares about teaching them new tricks? Wouldn't it be a little easier and so much nicer if we just loosen up and give them big hugs and/or kisses? You see, they also need to have a break. To be made to feel their worth, their importance.
In my small and big talks with people, either directly or indirectly, there is one very striking observation that never fails to hit me real hard: the main focus of their ambitions or actions in their friendships/relationships is the "fruit" that they can get out of it. Is it any wonder then, we see so much desperation and the likes?
In one of the dailies I curiously read this: a son was 'disgusted' to find his aged mother smooching with her peer during his (the son) particular visit in an elderly home where he signed-in his mother.
For what it's worth, please be aware, my good friends, that, however our physical attributes/appearance may change in the passage of time, our feelings/emotions do not. That is why I always like to call our connectedness, LOVE. And please let me say why all over again: because it is only Love we cannot get enough of! We are a people of feelings and emotions. No matter how hard we may try to convince and push this fact behind, it will always come right out in front in time to confront us. Stephen Covey of THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE calls this 'absolute natural law'. Our main problem which leads to another is our malice - our ever-malicious intent to "connect intimacy with the genitals" (Susan Muto: LATE HAVE I LOVED THEE). That is how sinful we are.
This is but a short, short opinion I wrote because I did this in haste just to come up with one and not miss out on us, dearly beloved friends. All I would like to emphasize in this issue is to NEVER PASS A CHANCE TO SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION AND LOVE TO YOUR OLDS AND THE ELDERLY PEOPLE in general. Let us say I LOVE YOU a lot to them. It won't hurt a bit. Grab the opportunity while it's still there.
Let me leave you this message for this issue: "The man of tomorrow is forged by the battles of today" (Lex Luthor of SMALLVILLE). Someday we are going to be the elderly. Respect and love we will harvest if we sow the same seeds to our young of today. Let us be good models to them by fighting hard this one battle via our love for the elderly. Let us be the dream people of tomorrow.
Gotta go, folks. God bless us all!
We talked just once since her transfer or assignment in that place but she educated me a whole lot regarding people of this age. Yes, as a rule of thumb, I am bent to believe a bit that 'we cannot teach old dogs new tricks'. But because I consider myself a strong believer in the innate goodness of people, my mentality (and sentimentality) tells me: who cares about teaching them new tricks? Wouldn't it be a little easier and so much nicer if we just loosen up and give them big hugs and/or kisses? You see, they also need to have a break. To be made to feel their worth, their importance.
In my small and big talks with people, either directly or indirectly, there is one very striking observation that never fails to hit me real hard: the main focus of their ambitions or actions in their friendships/relationships is the "fruit" that they can get out of it. Is it any wonder then, we see so much desperation and the likes?
In one of the dailies I curiously read this: a son was 'disgusted' to find his aged mother smooching with her peer during his (the son) particular visit in an elderly home where he signed-in his mother.
For what it's worth, please be aware, my good friends, that, however our physical attributes/appearance may change in the passage of time, our feelings/emotions do not. That is why I always like to call our connectedness, LOVE. And please let me say why all over again: because it is only Love we cannot get enough of! We are a people of feelings and emotions. No matter how hard we may try to convince and push this fact behind, it will always come right out in front in time to confront us. Stephen Covey of THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE calls this 'absolute natural law'. Our main problem which leads to another is our malice - our ever-malicious intent to "connect intimacy with the genitals" (Susan Muto: LATE HAVE I LOVED THEE). That is how sinful we are.
This is but a short, short opinion I wrote because I did this in haste just to come up with one and not miss out on us, dearly beloved friends. All I would like to emphasize in this issue is to NEVER PASS A CHANCE TO SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION AND LOVE TO YOUR OLDS AND THE ELDERLY PEOPLE in general. Let us say I LOVE YOU a lot to them. It won't hurt a bit. Grab the opportunity while it's still there.
Let me leave you this message for this issue: "The man of tomorrow is forged by the battles of today" (Lex Luthor of SMALLVILLE). Someday we are going to be the elderly. Respect and love we will harvest if we sow the same seeds to our young of today. Let us be good models to them by fighting hard this one battle via our love for the elderly. Let us be the dream people of tomorrow.
Gotta go, folks. God bless us all!
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